friends
Soul Circle Family Ties
Children choose their parents and families before they arrive in this world. In spiritual terms there is therefore no difference between a biological child and an adopted child. All souls belong to a soul group or soul circle, no matter what their chosen physical incarnation and human family structure may be.
The soul of an adopted child is just as much part of her family’s original soul circle as that of her sister, who chose instead to be physically born into the same family. They have both been part of their soul circle for eternity, and always will be.
Parents of adopted children, who also have biological children, will tell you that they feel the same spiritual and emotional bond with all their kids. They experience the same levels of attachment, connection, and love with each child. Spiritually aware parents often also report that they feel they have known the souls of both their adopted and biological children in previous lifetimes, or that there was an instant soul recognition the moment they first saw each child.
We choose our earth families, parents, and physical bodies before we are born. Our soul knows before birth the physical traits, capacities, and disabilities our body will have in this lifetime, as well as the talents, gifts, shortcomings, and limitations we will have in our chosen incarnation.
We also decide how we wish to join our chosen human families, including by birth, surrogacy, adoption, and even the blending of families. These choices our souls make are determined by our chosen soul purpose and life path. There are many karmic reasons why soul circle members may prefer adoption, instead of biological birth.
Laughter Is A Spiritual Superpower
I believe there are energies on this planet that feed off lower vibrations caused by fear, anger, depression, anxiety, jealousy, perversion, and hate. The more time we spend in such lower frequencies, the more we will attract even more of those negative energies.
On the opposite end of the energy spectrum, there is joy, love, forgiveness, light , positive thinking, and laughter that keep us in a higher vibration. Laughter is in fact one of the most powerful ways to raise our energy vibration. It even helps to heal our physical body and keeps our mind clear and our thoughts positive. It can be like a life raft that keeps us sane in a somewhat crazy world.
A sure sign that someone is going over to the ‘dark side,’ is when they lose their sense of humor. I’ve had friends who used to have a great sense of humor, until they were sucked into a dark mental state, some of them also using alcohol or drugs to self-medicate (which dramatically lowers our vibration). It’s quite alarming to witness the profound change in them. No more joking or upbeat banter. No more laughter. Not even a smile. Nothing.
I have a long-time friend who lately shows a complete lack of emotional connection. The first time I noticed this change with her was when realized she had stopped making jokes. She also stopped laughing at my jokes.
Throughout our friendship we have always relied on our like-minded sense of humor to deal with life’s challenges. We had used our sense of humor to manage the ridiculousness in life, and even our own dysfunctional behavior. Nothing is healthier than to be able to laugh at yourself!
But then she started losing empathy and interest in others. She increasingly became emotionally unavailable and dissociated. It has been sad and scary process to see my friend’s vibrant personality slowly fading. I have tried to reach out and lift her spirits, but she only checks in briefly from time to time, and then disappears again into the shadows.
In One Ear, And Out the Other
We have all had a frustrating conversation with someone that was just not listening at all. I call it ‘the lights are on, but nobody is home’ conversations. In my opinion the world would be a better place if we all communicate more clearly, sincerely, and kindly.
I have one friend with whom it is very easy to tell that she has checked out of a conversation. She gets that blank look in her eyes, vaguely staring into the distance, drifting off into her own thoughts. Then it becomes utterly pointless to continue the conversation with her, as I might as well be talking to myself.
One sure way to tell if a person has checked out of the conversation is when they keep checking their phone. How rude is that? What could possible be on that phone screen that is so much more important than a heartfelt, meaningful conversation with a friend?
During the pandemic, I did not see one of my best friends for more than two years. When we finally met up after all this time, she spent most of our time together checking her phone messages and scrolling her social media feeds. I guess I missed her company more, than she did mine.
Of course, we all ‘space out’ in conversation sometimes, but if it happens constantly then it may be time to find out why? One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is when people feel they are not being heard. Clear communication, sincere interest, and active listening are vital ingredients in a caring, supportive relationship.
Another important aspect in any conversation is our tone of voice. It is often not what we say, but how say it that matters most. It is always amazing to me when I hear someone talk to strangers in a manner and tone of voice that is much kinder and more sincere, than the tone they use with the people closest to them.
Honor Your True Self Without The Drama
Many of people spend a good portion of their lives trying to be who they think others expect them to be. Although it is important for our own safety and peace of mind to conform and abide by society’s customs and codes of conduct, it is also imperative that we feel free to authentically express ourselves – as long as it is not detrimental to the well-being of others.
These days it can be treacherous to speak your mind or express your true feelings in just about any context, but the most troublesome of places to do this is on social media platforms, where faceless strangers often attack each other mercilessly, and at times for no apparent reason.
Instead of exposing oneself publicly to the vitriol and ill-conceived opinions of random strangers, it is best to be true to ourselves within our personal circle of influence. Being yourself and living and authentic life does not require us to announce our true thoughts and innermost feelings to the entire world.
Of course, expressing your truth to those closest to us can be equally difficult. One key to successfully communicating is to truly listen with respect and consideration to the views of others. Often, we do not really hear what is being said, because we are frantically thinking of our own response to what we assume they are saying.
Actively listening to someone explaining their position can be a real test of patience sometimes, but it usually pays off in the end by way of mutual understanding, conflict resolution, or compromise.
Disagreeing without hostility and aggression is an art in itself. The world we currently live in can be a tinder box at times, with people overreacting to even the smallest perceived slight. We cannot control the beliefs, words and actions of others, but we can certainly manage our own.
Don’t Walk On Eggshells Anymore!
Do you often find yourself around people that make you feel like you have to monitor every single thing you say, for fear you may be hurting their feelings? Do you constantly have to be cautious and guarded around certain people in your life, because they internalize everything you say? It really is like walking on eggshells!
I used to have a friend like that. At first I complied, but then one day I decided to start talking like I would normally talk to my other friends. I wanted to see what effect it would have on this person. Well, it actually helped in the end, as it soon made her see how silly she was being. In fact, she even confessed to how she felt bad for reacting as if the entire world revolved around her and her feelings. It turned out to be a meaningful opportunity for her personal growth.
Also, have you ever known anyone whom you shared some inner most concern or anxiety with, and they act like you are making a mountain out of a molehill? You trusted them by sharing your inner most fear or heartache, and they react like it is nothing or you are just being silly. They may even turn around and act as if what you are saying is just plain wrong, or irrelevant! As a highly sensitive person I have experienced this many times in my life and it’s no fun, trust me. And if you’re like me, you just stop talking to this person all together about anything that may deeply matter to you.
These interpersonal experiences can be frustrating and hurtful, but also very valuable to learn from. As soon as this kind of interaction happens with someone, it is useful to reflect on whom you can really trust and have faith in, and who not. If you become more aware of whom you surround yourself with, more people will come into your life that will truly hear you and really have compassion and a deep understanding of what you’re trying to impart. They will also be willing and able to give great advice and be a great sounding board for you, without being egotistical or simply uncaring!
The Transformational Power Of Self-Care
As you journey towards the end of the beautiful summer season, prioritize self-care, as this is one of the most important things you can do for your mind, body and soul.
What exactly is self-care? Self-care is any activity you do intentionally to take care of your mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical health and well-being. It’s about giving yourself the time and attention that you need to thrive.
When you take care of yourself, the most critical person in your world, you can better care for others, and do your work with greater purpose. It becomes easier to show up fully and more meaningfully for others in your life. In this manner, we can be more present with our loved ones, pursue our passions with greater focus, and feel happier overall.
By showing love to ourselves, we become more open to giving and receiving love from others. When we radiate love and peace, we attract more love and peace into our lives. It’s a beautiful cycle of giving and receiving that creates inner harmony and outer wellness.
It’s essential to find time each day to do something that relaxes and rejuvenates you, whether it is reading, going for a walk, or taking a yoga class. Self-care is vital because it helps you to stay healthy as a whole person.
Making time for yourself can relieve stress and tension, improving your overall health and well-being. Additionally, self-care can help you to avoid burnout on multiple levels.
Make sure to schedule time for yourself every day. You can use this time to do something you love without any obligations or expectations. Nurturing your happiness to be the best version of yourself for others is essential.
The Blessing Of True Friendship
Too often we make a self-limiting choices in life based on negative past experiences, which then keeps you from enjoying new, wonderful experiences, meeting new people, or learning a new talent or skill. To truly be free we must allow ourselves to let go and just be. We must remain willing to live an authentic life and selectively make ourselves vulnerable. Replaying the past over and over in your mind is draining and counter-productive.
I normally don’t open myself up easily to new friendships. I work with people all day, so that is how I get much of my social interaction. I love to help people and my clients are pretty much my family. I feel very connected to my regular callers, as they tend to be the most open-hearted and like-minded people. In my personal life I haven’t been so lucky, as many people are just not open to the alternative ideas, lifestyles and beliefs. In fact, some people are completely closed-off and narrow-minded about the mystical and the metaphysical.
I am not alone in this. A 2019 study, for example, revealed that the average American hasn’t made a new friend in five years. The study also found that he average american has three best friend and five reasonably good friends, as well as about eight people they like but do not spend any time with. However, this does not automatically guarantee that these people we consider to be our friends always feel the same way about us. A 2016 study found that this is probably only true for about half of friendships. Yes, only 50 percent of our perceived friendships are actually mutual and reciprocal!
Recently, I took a chance on a new friendship outside my work life, and I am very blessed to say that it reminded me that it’s okay to let the walls down so sometimes, and not to worry about stepping on toes or feeling like you have to walk on egg shells. I guess we just need to be smart about our choices. I have always been drawn to calm, centered, casual people who have a good sense of humor.