mental health
Embracing The Shadow Within
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
They Can’t Gaslight You If You Trust Your Gut!
Gaslighting can be a very destructive aspect of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of “reality twisting” or “crazy-making” that is designed to confuse or manipulate the victim.
Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship by making the victim question their reality. The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, at work, and with neighbors.
Sometimes it’s done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but more often it’s done under the radar, and you don’t always know who’s gaslighting you, or even that you’re being gaslighted.
“Gaslighting” is a psychological term derived from the 1938 stage play Gas Light and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations. The movie is about a husband’s attempts to systematically drive his wife crazy by repeatedly dimming the gas lights in their home, only to deny that it ever happened when the wife asks him if he also noticed it. Over time, he manipulates his wife to the point where she believes she is imagining things and loses her mind.
Gaslighting is a common manipulation technique used by dictators, con artists, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists, and cult leaders. It’s done in such a way that the victim rarely realizes how much they’ve actually been brainwashed.
At first, the victim may have the idea that they’re not imagining things, but that someone else is doing this to them. They may even have an intuition about who that person is. However, the goal of gaslighting is to get victims to doubt these rational thoughts and replace them completely with the belief that there is something wrong with them, either mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically. The worst part, in my opinion, is that it makes you doubt your own intuition.
Feeding The ‘Good Wolf’ Changes Everything!
Since childhood, I have been fascinated by parables, folk tales and fables. I realized at a young age that there is something truly inspiring about a story that not only entertains, but carries a deeper message or spiritual lesson and speaks directly to the heart.
This love of meaningful stories hasn’t diminished over time. I still find myself drawn to stories that offer wisdom, healing, and perspective.
A few years ago, I came across a beautiful Cherokee story — one that spoke volumes to me and offers guidance to many of us as we navigate the emotional terrain of modern life.
The story goes that a young Cherokee boy found himself in a dispute with a friend. The boy felt that his friend had treated him unfairly. Hurt, and burning with anger, he stormed off to find his grandfather, a revered elder of their tribe who was known for his wisdom.
Sitting with his wise grandfather, the boy poured out his frustration, sharing the injustice he felt and the fire of anger that burned within him.
The old man listened patiently, his eyes pensve and kind. Then, with a nod, he spoke:
“I too have felt great anger at those who have taken from me what was not theirs or who have treated me unjustly. But anger wears on the soul like fire on dry grass. It consumes you if you are not careful.”
He paused, then continued, “You see, it is as if two wolves are fighting within me. One is full of anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. This is the evil wolf. He lashes out, trusts no one, and isolates himself from the world.”
Balance Your Mind With Crystal Energy
The human brain is a dual force, with the left and right hemispheres complementing each other to create a balanced mind.
Each side of the brain brings its own gifts to the whole, working together to shape our unique perceptions and experiences.
The left brain is known for its logical, structured, and analytical approach to processing information, excelling in tasks like reasoning, mathematics, and language.
In contrast, the right brain is more intuitive, imaginative, and emotionally expressive, fueling creativity, visual thinking, and spiritual insight.
This division of cognitive function influences how we think, solve problems, and interact with the world, both internally and externally.
In the realm of energy work and healing, various crystals and stones support and enhance the natural strengths of each brain hemisphere, promoting overall mental and emotional harmony and balance.
Whether you are seeking increased focus for problem solving or a boost in artistic expression, the right combination of crystals can support a harmonious mind that fosters both intellectual and creative growth.
By setting clear intentions and using the appropriate crystals and stones regularly, you can harness their energies to align both hemispheres of the brain and promote an integrated approach to life.
In this sacred balance, the mind and soul find unity, creating a deeper sense of wholeness and fulfillment—a fusion of logic and intuition, structure and flow, thought and feeling.
The Power Of Knowing Your ‘Why’
In a recent spiritual counseling session, I had the privilege of working with a woman who was facing a profound life challenge — stage 2 locally advanced colon cancer.
She spoke with a quiet resilience as she recounted her journey through chemotherapy before surgery, followed by four additional rounds of adjuvant chemotherapy.
There was little emotion in her words, but the weight of her experience was undeniable. It was a story of survival, perseverance, and the sheer will to move forward.
She then admitted that she longed to live a healthier lifestyle, but struggled with unhealthy eating habits. She had gained a significant amount of weight after her surgery, and despite her best intentions, she found it difficult to resist sweets and processed foods.
After hearing her story, I gently reminded her that I could not give her medical advice. Nor am I a nutritionist, and I advised her that professional guidance was essential for her dietary needs.
What I could offer, however, was a way to break the cycle of unhealthy habits. And I could help nurture her mind and emotions and guide her toward a life of greater wholeness and balance.
She lit up with hope. “That would be wonderful!” she exclaimed.
Cutting The Toxic Cords That Bind Us
In every relationship – romantic, platonic, professional – there is a metaphysical cord of attachment that exhanges energy from one person to the other.
These energy cords can be thought of as WiFi signals, electrical circuits, or even surgical tubes that transfer mental, emotional, and spiritual energies between individuals. They are the invisible ties of love that keep us connected to our loved ones.
I remember reading an article years ago about the intense grief of famous American singer Dean Martin after the tragic death of his eldest son. His boy was a fighter pilot in the California Air National Guard and lost his life in a plane crash during a training flight in 1987.
Martin described the loss as feeling as if his “heart had been ripped out.” This vivid description is a testament to the reality of these ties that bind us. The intense pain the singer felt was essentially his heart chakra feeling ‘broken.’ The loss had a profound impact on the remainder of his life and career.
The concept of these cords may seem abstract, but their effects are very tangible. They are not just symbolic; they are very real and have a profound effect on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being on a daily basis.
When we engage in any kind of relationship with someone, these energetic cords extend from our chakras, or energy centers, to those of the other person. While these soul-to-soul cords feed us with all the good energies that come from being connected to others, such as love, nurturing, and belonging, they can also have the opposite effect.
What The Mind Believes, The Body Perceives
Self-talk and inner dialogue play a crucial role in our overall well-being – body, mind and spirit. The way we think and talk to ourselves shapes our reality, affecting not only our emotions and moods, but also our physical health.
For example, if we wake up and immediately think, “I feel terrible. I’m still exhausted. I don’t want to face the day,” our body will respond in kind. We’ll move sluggishly, feel each ache more intensely, and reinforce a state of fatigue.
Negative self-talk can even affect digestion, metabolism, and immune function because the body takes its cues from the mind. When we repeatedly tell ourselves that we lack energy, the body responds by slowing down.
However, when we consciously shift our thoughts to a more positive perspective, we cultivate an inner environment that supports healing, resilience, and vitality.
The same principle applies to how we perceive ourselves physically. If we stand in front of the mirror and focus on perceived flaws, our posture and energy will reflect that self-criticism. We may unconsciously choose clothing that reinforces our negative self-image and move through the day with slumped shoulders and diminished confidence. Our bodies reflect the beliefs we hold about ourselves.
Conversely, when we practice self-talk that is uplifting and empowering, our body responds accordingly. By consciously choosing to carry ourselves with confidence, even if it feels unnatural at first, we initiate a shift in both our emotional and physical states.