mental health
Helping Children Navigate Divorce
When parents get divorced it is always difficult for the entire family. Navigating through this time is usually challenging. There is also no manual or guidebook for how to do things the right way, so parents have to figure it out as they go.
Same with the children. It can be very scary for them not knowing what to expect and sometimes feeling obligated to take sides. It can be a very sad, stressful time for children, especially when parents are so caught up in their disputes and drama that they lose sight of what is best for their kids. The kids are not the ones getting the divorce.
However, I believe most parents really do try to do their best to soften the blow and make it work for everyone involved.
Children tend to want to please their parents and not cause further upset. So, tend to not speak up. They sometimes suppress their feelings of hurt, resentment or fear. Sometime children feel like they need to choose one parent over another.
Everyone needs to feel they are being heard and their needs considered. It is therefore best to listen to all sides before making decisions. Going through this process can be tricky. You do not want your child to feel neglected or abandoned in the process.
Understanding your children’s needs and feelings, and dealing with it, is the first step into helping your child get through it with the least amount of trauma. If a parent finds this difficult to ascertain, then it is wise for them to get some professional help and guidance.
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.
The Healing Power Of Tree Hugging
Trees and plants are the most powerful energy conduits on the planet, next to the various bodies of water, such as the ocean, lakes, rivers, ponds, and so on.
It is no coincidence that many of the powerful energy vortex locations on the planet are typically surrounded by forests and abundant vegetation, such as Stonehenge in Wiltshire, England; Es Vedrà on the Spanish island of Ibiza; Mount Shasta in Siskiyou County, California; Machu Picchu in southern Peru; and the Mayan ruins in Tulum, Mexico. All these spiritual power spots feature either natural or man-made rock formations with a unique structure or design that draws energy from the surrounding vegetation, especially the trees.
Did you know that without trees humanity would not survive? Without trees to filter and replenish our air with oxygen, we would not be able to breathe without wearing gas masks. Trees are a vital link in the carbon cycle – a process in which carbon dioxide is constantly circulating through the atmosphere into organisms and back again.
Carbon is the second most valuable element to life, after water. Trees absorb carbon from the atmosphere and turns it into energy. The carbon is then either transformed into oxygen and released into the air we breathe, or stored inside the tree until it decomposes into the earth.
Without trees we will also starve, as there will no longer be nutrient-rich soil for us to grow food, and there will be chronic droughts. Planet Earth will in time become an arid wasteland. There will be no food to eat and very little fresh water to drink. Trees are essential to the energy of life.
The Healing Energies Of Plant Spirits
Here in Latin America there is a rich tradition of herbalism and ceremonial, shamanic spiritual medicine. There has also been in recent times a global revival of plant medicine and natural healing practices, as well as a renewed interest in related indigenous wisdom traditions found in many cultures all over the world.
As a result of modern science, we have largely abandoned and forgotten the fountain of knowledge the aborigines had regarding healing and natural harmony. It took us several centuries to realize what we have lost and overlooked in the process.
Herbalism is however not only about natural medicine potentially having fewer side effects than modern pharmaceuticals. It is also about the innate energetic qualities we share with a particular plant. This approach to healin stems from a worldview that fully integrates man and nature.
In local tradition, near the Andes, the timing is just as important as the type of plant used for healing purposes. Depending on the season, or the phase of moon, for instance, the plant’s properties will vary, and its effectiveness less than optimal if used at the inappropriate time.
Both the healer and their patient’s attitude towards the plant itself is also an important factor in the healing process, as the respect and gratitude shown to the plant will determine its healing ability.
In shamanic herbalist practices it vital to understand that all entities are considered to have elemental energy, including plants and humans. This is the metaphysical premise of all plant medicine and magic. In fact, for the traditional herbalist all plants have spirits. And each one has specific faculties and properties at different levels or frequencies that can heal us in mind, body and soul.
Overcoming Addiction To Work For Spirit
A recent talk I gave about my addiction recovery journey and my calling to work for spirit, became a wonderful full circle moment for me. It was very empowering to look back, reflect on my experiences and see how far I have ultimately come.
It also brought up early memories of moments in the past when the writing had already been clearly on the wall, so to speak. In retrospect, is it was very clear early on that overcoming addiction was going to be one of my major life lessons and a significant part of my spiritual path in this lifetime
I remember, for example, I had my astrological natal chart done by a gifted astrologer, who later became a mentor to me. I also had my first experiences of past life regression with him.
After carefully analyzing my chart, he told me that my calling was to do spiritual work and be a guide and healer. He then added that I would first have to rise above the challenges of addiction before I could fully immerse myself into working with spirit. How right he was!
I did not understand his prediction at the time. I was still sober at the time and my social use of alcohol was something I considered to be my ‘guilty little pleasure.’ In time, I even started calling it the ‘devil on my shoulder,’ but in no way did I feel I had a problem with alcohol, much less consider myself an addict.
I would often read tarot cards for myself in those days and, sure enough, no matter how many times I shuffled the deck and no matter how many different decks of Tarot I consulted, the Devil card would consistently appear. The true significance of this would become more evident as time went on.
How To Truly Let Them Go
When a relationship ends, we may find it very difficult to let go of the other person, especially when they have been the one who chose to leave. Friends and clients have often asked me this question. How do I forget him? How do I stop thinking about her? I have asked myself this a few times in my own life too.
My psychic observation has been that consciously trying to forget someone for whom we have strong feelings of love and affection will only serve to make it worse. ‘Forgetting’ someone we love is unnatural and goes against our grain. It only creates resistance that further increases tension and intensifies our pain.
So, it is usually better, but not easier, to channel or process our feelings of love and affection for another soul, in a more constructive, liberating way. This includes honoring the freedom of every soul’s path in relationship with God, Source, Spirit, the Divine.
It is essential to let our feelings flow, because emotions are energy in motion (e-motion). The energy will move through and in time lessen, like storm clouds passing through the sky, until the sun is visible to the eyes again.
Keeping the heart open is an important part of this process. The vision God gives me to describe this is of being in your home, going about your own life within it, with all your attention focused on the activities, surroundings, and experiences of the moment, and simply being present with what you have and what is, while the front door remains open in the background.
