Life Design
We Don’t Find Love, It Finds Us
I simply started to believe in myself a little more every day, love myself, trust my intuition, recognize my goodness and that I am enough. That is how love found me. This is how I found my life partner, friend, lover and husband.
Over the years, I have seen the same with family, friends and clients. I see how love finds them. We don’t find love, it finds us.
For me finding that special person seemed elusive and impossible for a long time. We all have our stories of failed past relationships, love wounds and broken hearts. My mother would say, “The third time is the charm.” She was the eternal optimist, I thought.
Yes, there were interested, available guys, but not one I felt I could truly be myself with. Someone who shared my interests and would accept and love me for who I was.
It wasn’t until I decided to spread my wings and start pursuing my interests and the things close to my heart, that my situation changed for the better. It introduced me to many like-minded people who were in alignment with the things I loved.
Increasingly, an event, gathering, lecture, seminar, weekend retreat, charity fundraiser or social opportunity would pop up and find me, and I would always say yes! This way I met many wonderful and diverse people who shared my values and interests.
Interestingly, the wonderful man I eventually met and fell in love was not at any of those social events. He turned out to be a colleague from my place of work. You see, I could have met him anywhere in many ways, but not until I started to love myself and worked through my own insecurities. I first had to claim my own space in life and create the lifestyle I wanted.
In the process of learning to love myself more, celebrating my uniqueness, pursuing my interests and following the intuitive breadcrumbs on my spiritual path, I was allowing the light inside of me to shine brighter in an authentic way.
The ‘Big Chill’ Moment Of A Soulmate Reunion
I started my first full-time job at age 17 working in the Conservation Corps. I grew up in a rural community and the local Conservation Corps was engaged in environmental stewardship, such as clearing debris and fallen trees from streams to prevent floods and fire hazards. As a teenager, I had many small jobs babysitting, gardening, and so on, but this was my first serious employment after graduating high school.
On my first day of work, I sat on a fence waiting for the bus that would drive us into the woods, when another bus full of ‘city kids’ arrived. The first guy that emerged from the city bus looked directly into my eyes and I remember having a million thoughts all at once!
His eyes were green, like mine. I believe that was a memory trigger. A memory trigger is a soul recognition clue that we program into the psyche before we come into this life. Its purpose is to remind us subconsciously of a soul contract. Soul contracts are agreements between ourselves and others to work out karma in this lifetime.
Mr. Memory Trigger Eyes looked down almost immediately once he saw me, bashfully, with a blushing face. Looking into his eyes felt like a lightning bolt hit my body. I felt a ‘big chill’ at the same time. The hair on my arms stood up. It was electric and exciting! There was an instant familiarity between us.
Although I had never met him before, I somehow felt I knew him. His face seemed familiar, which I ascribe to the built-in memory triggers. The ‘big chill’ is spirit stirring your psychic memory. I instantly knew I recognize his energy signature from past lives and the spirit realm. I even heard my higher self whisper, “He’s the one.” And he did turn out to be my first love in this lifetime.
During the three months we worked together, he flirted shyly with me, stared at me from afar. I knew we would eventually be in a relationship. There was never any doubt in my mind. I just knew it. But what was taking him so long?
The Cosmic Dance Of Life’s Challenges
No matter where in the world you live, the seasons always change, albeit some may present with changes that are more subtle than in other places. While there may be an unexplained blizzard in Florida in March, the windswept islands of the Greater Antilles may be balmy year-round with few dramatic changes in weather.
Wherever we live in the world, nature is a force all unto itself. It is sometimes predictable, while at other times intensely climatic, with extreme highs and lows.
As we all live on this big, green planet we call Earth, our human species is also subject to changes in our natural environment. We are all impacted by the seasons in some way, as well as climate unpredictability. It is an eternal cycle that impacts our crops, livestock and food supplies.
With nearly every turn we make, there is always an interconnectedness that is ever present – a reminder that our vast world is host to a greater macrocosm that supports each and every microcosm. In other words, Spirit, God, the Universe has our back!
The microcosm-macrocosm analogy is a reminder that there is a fundamental similarity that can be seen between the expression of life as we perceive it on this glorious planet, and the wider, infinite cosmos. Some philosophers have posited that a higher understanding of the cosmos may even be more closely inferred from the lessons of human nature, and vice versa.
Without expounding further on these mysteries, I believe we are bound on this plane by a natural ebb and flow that ushers in various degrees of change during many of life’s intervals. One lesson taught by life is that there is no growth without change. We see this in the natural world, as well as our personal lives. To move through various life stages requires fluid thinking, adaptability and purposeful actions.
How To Practice The Art Of Gratitude
My life has not been without its challenges. Nevertheless, I love my job, have a beautiful son, an adorable husband and supportive friends and family. Therefore, irrespective of current world events, I genuinely have a lot to be grateful for!
Gratitude is beneficial for all of us, including physically, emotionally and spiritually. For one, appreciating the good things in our lives helps us to be more tolerant and forgiving, with a higher sense of life satisfaction. Grateful people also tend to have more hope and inner peace and feel less anxious and alone.
God, Spirit, the Universe loves gratitude! Those who are sincerely grateful are blessed with even more to be grateful for. Like attracts like.
How does one ensure that you practice the art of gratitude ever day? The following guidelines should help:
Seek Out The Positive
In my own personal research into positive psychology, I became aware of something referred to as negativity bias. In case you have not heard of this, it means that our negative thoughts tend to be more dominant than the positive ones.
An excellent way of counteracting this negative way of thinking is to seek out at least three things in your life every day that you are well and truly grateful for. Try to make this a daily habit. By doing so, it should have you smiling in next to no time!
I remember when I was about 26 years old and in a particularly challenging place in my life. I was advised by a psychic, whom I reached out to with my troubles, to watch the film or read the book, The Color Purple by Alice Walker. It is some of the best advice I have every received. Once I had read the last chapter, I felt so grateful for whatever I had in my life.
Find The Eye Of The Storm
Your relationship is falling apart, you have lost your job, your finances are in a shambles, you suffer an unexpected loss due to a global pandemic. Chaos comes in many forms and at times it touches multiple areas of our lives at once.
The ripple effect starts in one area and then spreads insidiously, until every aspect of your life begins to look very bleak. Your emotional reserves are drained, confusion sets in and you feel stuck, powerless…reeling from the shock.
When things turn bad in your life this way it can have the force and power of a hurricane or tornado. It can be devastating.
Perhaps you sensed it coming. Your intuitive radar was ‘pinging’, sensing imminent danger, or maybe it caught you completely off-guard. Either way, the results are the same.
Now what? How do you get your bearings, recover your sense of direction, recharge your battery and get the inner strength to move forward?
All tropical storms have a center, or an eye. The stronger the storm the calmer the eye, which is characterized by lighter winds and a clearer sky. So, take a breath – a deep breath – and find your center. Find the eye of your storm.
Making decisions from fear or chaos always increases the strength and ferocity of the storm. Remember, all storms do pass. The beauty of life lies in the newness and change each moment offers us.
Fate Karma And Your Life Lesson Number
Have you ever noticed we seem to circle around the same problem or kinds of problems? In Numerology this theme can be found in the Life Lesson Number which comes from our birth date. The birth date identifies what it is our soul wants to master in this lifetime. It is also called the Life Lesson Number or Destiny Number in Numerology.
The meaning of your Life Lesson Number is an underlying theme that will dominate our current life. You will continue to learn more and uncover more layers about the lesson as you go deeper and experience more in life.
So if you sometimes think that you seem to keep dealing with the same issues over and over or repeating the same patterns (or maybe you think that about someone else), I would say to you, “Yes, you are!”
That is what the art of mastery is all about. It is interesting; we don’t hear people ever complaining that Picasso, for example, kept painting and painting, but we often criticize ourselves for repeating patterns in our lives. It is helpful to re-frame our thinking about spiritual life lessons.
In order to master something, it means we need to learn about it, and discover the best ways to handle the pros and cons of the lesson. In order to learn something, we need to practice, and that means repetition.
So, when you find yourself up against the demands of your Life Lesson Number, instead of saying to yourself, “When am I ever going to get out of this rut?” it might be more helpful to look at all the progress you have already made in this area of your life! You should seek progress, not perfection.
Your Numerology Life Chart
Numerology, like Astrology, gives us a map of the life we chose to live here on Earth. It is as if we booked a cruise to go first to Alaska, then to the Sahara, then to Manhattan, New York. This big ‘map’ is what I call Fate Karma and our free will for this decision was exercised on the other side.
Once we are here, we cannot change the ticket we already bought. This is more of an Eastern view, as most Westerners like to believe that if they focus enough on the Law of Attraction, they can get what they want. For me, this is like telling a child if they wish hard enough, they can indeed get all the candy they want.
It is my belief that we chose this life to progress as a soul, while we are still on the other side with our guides. Some of us chose to come here and have a life of fun, while others came here to climb mountains.
When people ask me, why anyone would choose to come here and be abused as child, for example, my response is, “Why do people pay money to watch horror movies or television?” We come here to have experiences that help us evolve as a soul. This can mean coming here to experience hardship, among other things, as this can teach us about compassion, surrender, and forgiveness.
Getting your numerology life chart done can really help you understand your primary tasks for this life and what you came here to accomplish. Not everyone came here to fall in love or raise a family, for instance. Your life chart will also show you which strengths and weaknesses you came in with.
With this information, it is like finding out the course of a river you are about to travel in a kayak and what equipment you do and do not have with you. We cannot change the river (that is Spirit). However, we can read the currents ahead, to ensure that our trip will be much more fun.