toxic relationship
The Empath’s Guide To Toxic Friendships
Our friends are a beautiful and enriching part of our lives. In some cases, they even become our chosen family through the bonds of mutual caring and shared life experiences.
Healthy friendships are built on a foundation of balance. They’re marked by mutual support, trust, loyalty, acceptance, and honesty, all with a touch of compassion. But for the empath or highly sensitive person, friendships can sometimes be a bit of a rollercoaster.
We might feel like we’re always giving and giving, and sometimes we might even feel drained. It can be hard to know when to draw the line with someone who might be taking advantage of our energy.
Friendships can be so many different things, and it’s important to remember that not all of them are the same. They range from casual acquaintances to deep, intimate bonds we form with those we call our “besties.”
It’s so important to have a close friend you can trust with your most private fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities. But, sadly, this isn’t always the reality. If you’re the kind of person who is sensitive to the feelings of others, you know how hard it can be when you’re betrayed or disappointed by someone close to you. It can feel like the saying “keep your enemies close” is true in these situations.
Some of us are more outgoing and have a large social circle, while others are more introverted and have a small social circle. Empaths can fall into either category. Regardless of which category an empath falls into, it is wise for us to exercise discernment.
Protect Your Energy From Toxic People
If you’ve ever felt emotionally drained, manipulated, or physically unwell after spending time with someone, know that you’re not alone. I do relationship readings for people stuck in toxic relationships, or dealing with energy vampires in their family or workplace, on a daily basis.
These relationships and people feed off your energy, often leaving you feeling depleted, anxious, or confused.
Why do so many people allow these people into their lives? Often, they simply have no choice. These toxic people may be family members, coworkers, in-laws, friends we’ve known for years, other relatives, or even life partners.
As a deeply empathic person myself, I understand the profound sensitivity that comes with feeling the energies around you.
Being surrounded by energy thieves can feel like standing in front of an emotional vacuum or caught inside a whirlwind of chaos. If you don’t prepare yourself energetically and spiritually before engaging with these types of individuals, your emotional and physical well-being will suffer.
It’s exhausting trying to maintain your peace in the presence of drama, manipulation, or constant criticism. Take for example family gatherings or in-law visits.
These moments can trigger a cascade of emotions due to clashing personalities, judgment, gossip, and unresolved history. It often feels like nothing you do is ever right, and it becomes a true test of inner strength.
Moving Forward After A Breakup Or Divorce
Going through a divorce, or the end of a long relationship, can feel like your world has come crashing down. The dreams you shared, the life you pictured together, and all the emotional energy you invested can suddenly seem lost.
It’s not just about losing a person; it’s also about letting go of a future you once hoped for. It can be difficult to know how to move forward.
However, even in the midst of any ending, there’s an opportunity for a fresh and meaningful new beginning.
Accepting that your relationship has ended is one of the most important steps in the healing process. It’s normal to grieve what could have been, but don’t dwell on the past. The past is a place to learn from, not a place to stay.
True acceptance means letting go of blame, resentment, and regret. This isn’t because the hurt didn’t happen, but because holding on keeps that hurt alive.
Acceptance can be difficult. It means accepting that your life will look different than you expected, and trusting that there’s still joy and beauty ahead. Many spiritual traditions remind us that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand it right away. When we reach acceptance, our heart chakra can open again, releasing stuck emotions and making room for healing. Continue reading
Tell-Tale Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. Don’t be so sensitive. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. It was never my idea, it was yours! Come on, you’re imagining things. Everyone else agrees, except you. You’re just making things up.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you. It usually happens whenever you confront them about their bad behavior, only to have your reality twisted in return…in ways that can really make your head spin!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that most often shows up in toxic romantic relationships, but it can also manifest in dynamics with friends, coworkers, employers, family members, and even neighbors and landlords.
At its core, gaslighting is the manipulation of your sense of reality, leaving you confused, anxious, and doubting yourself and your own perceptions. Sometimes it’s very obvious and unmistakable. Other times, it happens so subtly you may not even realize you’re being manipulated.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, which was later made into the 1944 film of the same name.
In the story, a husband tricks his wealthy wife into thinking she’s going crazy by making small changes to their surroundings, like dimming the gas lights, and then denying that anything has changed. His goal is to make her doubt her own sanity, so he could have her committed to a mental institution and gain control of her inheritance.
Honoring Yourself In Difficult Family Relationships
Family dynamics can be tremendously complex for many of us. These relationships are multilayered and deeply ingrained, often playing out across generations.
Many of my clients seek psychic insight about family matters. After matters of love and romance, and then business or career, family is often the most emotionally charged subject.
In readings, especially with empaths, intuitives, and highly sensitive individuals, I hear countless stories of family pain. Many carry a sense of never belonging, of being misunderstood or scapegoated.
These emotional burdens are often the heaviest that people bear because they are tied to the people they loved first and still love, despite the hurt.
When control or finances are interwoven into the family structure, the complexity of these relationships multiplies.
For many, family represents a love-hate relationship or a deep bond that carries deep wounds. While we cannot choose our family, we do have a say in how we interact with them, how we respond, and whether we continue to engage.
Severing family ties is a significant and often heartbreaking decision that is never taken lightly. By the time someone considers taking this step, the drama or emotional abuse has often been ongoing for decades and is sometimes rooted in a vividly painful childhood.
Are You Holding On To The Wrong Person?
Many of the questions that callers ask me during readings have one thing in common: how another person is affecting the their health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Despite the differences in the details, the underlying story is often the same: the person’s inner light is dimmed because they have been giving too much power to another person’s choices, moods, or shortcomings.
Many people seem to be in the wrong relationships. They hold on, waiting for things to change and hoping for the best. They postpone plans, silence their own needs and preferences, and test the limits of their patience, believing that a breakthrough will come tomorrow.
However, that is usually not what happens. People do not change for another person, and if they do, it never lasts or works out in the long run. A change driven by the need to please someone else rarely survives the stress of real life. As soon as complications arise, old habits resurface. People can only change for themselves.
Spirit’s guidance on this is always very clear: hanging onto the wrong person — whether a friend, family member, spouse, partner, lover, or boss — prevents us from experiencing the best life has to offer.
When we’re busy monitoring someone else’s actions, we have less capacity for our own personal and spiritual growth. This prevents the amazing blessings waiting for us from coming in, not because the universe is ‘stingy,’ but because our time and attention are fully booked.
Love, Lust, Or Infatuation? How To Tell The Difference
When you develop intense feelings for someone, it can be hard to tell if you’re experiencing lust, infatuation, or the beginning of genuine, lasting love. All three feelings can be powerful and overwhelming, but they are very different.
These energies often manifest similarly at first: your heart races, you get butterflies, you can’t eat or sleep, and you find yourself daydreaming constantly. Not to mention the dizzy excitement you feel when you see his name pop up on your phone!
However, love, lust, and infatuation are not the same from a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual perspective.
Infatuation can hit like lightning. One day, you’re going about your life, and the next, someone catches your eye. Suddenly, you can’t stop thinking about them. It feels exciting — like something big is happening, like fate.
Infatuation is highly emotional, and if left unchecked, it can become an unhealthy obsession with someone. You idealize them and ignore their flaws. Although it can feel a lot like love, it lacks depth and stability.
It’s easy to get caught up in the rush. But that high doesn’t always last. Infatuation can fade as quickly as it began, especially when you start to see the real person behind the sparkly image.
Often, infatuation appears when we’re in a state of desperation. Maybe we’re feeling lonely or want to be loved so badly that we project all our hopes onto someone else. We might think, “This person will complete me,” or “Everything will be better once we’re together.”