toxic relationship
Are You Holding On To The Wrong Person?
Many of the questions that callers ask me during readings have one thing in common: how another person is affecting the their health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Despite the differences in the details, the underlying story is often the same: the person’s inner light is dimmed because they have been giving too much power to another person’s choices, moods, or shortcomings.
Many people seem to be in the wrong relationships. They hold on, waiting for things to change and hoping for the best. They postpone plans, silence their own needs and preferences, and test the limits of their patience, believing that a breakthrough will come tomorrow.
However, that is usually not what happens. People do not change for another person, and if they do, it never lasts or works out in the long run. A change driven by the need to please someone else rarely survives the stress of real life. As soon as complications arise, old habits resurface. People can only change for themselves.
Spirit’s guidance on this is always very clear: hanging onto the wrong person — whether a friend, family member, spouse, partner, lover, or boss — prevents us from experiencing the best life has to offer.
When we’re busy monitoring someone else’s actions, we have less capacity for our own personal and spiritual growth. This prevents the amazing blessings waiting for us from coming in, not because the universe is ‘stingy,’ but because our time and attention are fully booked.
Love, Lust, Or Infatuation? How To Tell The Difference
When you develop intense feelings for someone, it can be hard to tell if you’re experiencing lust, infatuation, or the beginning of genuine, lasting love. All three feelings can be powerful and overwhelming, but they are very different.
These energies often manifest similarly at first: your heart races, you get butterflies, you can’t eat or sleep, and you find yourself daydreaming constantly. Not to mention the dizzy excitement you feel when you see his name pop up on your phone!
However, love, lust, and infatuation are not the same from a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual perspective.
Infatuation can hit like lightning. One day, you’re going about your life, and the next, someone catches your eye. Suddenly, you can’t stop thinking about them. It feels exciting — like something big is happening, like fate.
Infatuation is highly emotional, and if left unchecked, it can become an unhealthy obsession with someone. You idealize them and ignore their flaws. Although it can feel a lot like love, it lacks depth and stability.
It’s easy to get caught up in the rush. But that high doesn’t always last. Infatuation can fade as quickly as it began, especially when you start to see the real person behind the sparkly image.
Often, infatuation appears when we’re in a state of desperation. Maybe we’re feeling lonely or want to be loved so badly that we project all our hopes onto someone else. We might think, “This person will complete me,” or “Everything will be better once we’re together.”
How She Found Her Way Back
Not every psychic reading begins in light. Some start in silence — the kind that weighs heavy in the heart.
When she first reached out to me, her question was brief, but the energy spoke volumes. There was pain behind her words, and she barely dared to ask: “Am I still in here somewhere?”
She had been in a relationship that, at first, felt exciting—perhaps even fated. “He swept me off my feet,” she once said. “I thought he saw me.”
And maybe he did, in the beginning — just enough to mirror back what she most longed to believe about herself. That she was worthy. That she was seen. That she was loved. But what unfolded was far from love.
The charm that once made her feel chosen gradually twisted into control, criticism, and a subtle erosion of her spirit. What looked like affection became possessiveness. What felt like closeness became confinement.
She had once been a vibrant, creative soul bursting with ideas and dreams.
But as time passed, she began to disappear. “I used to feel like a magical flame,” she confessed. “Now, I’m no more than a tiny heap of ashes under his tyranny.” Her sparkle had dulled. Her job unraveled. Her friendships faded.
But then she called me on Psychic Access and the runes reminded her that the embers of her true self and soul essence were still burning.
Why Love Feels More Confusing Than Ever
Dating these days can feel like a full-time job — or a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. We swipe, like, text, ghost, reconnect… and repeat. It’s a fast-moving loop that can leave even the most grounded person’s head spinning.
Romance in the modern world is a strange mix of digital ease and emotional complexity. On one hand, dating apps offer endless possibilities.
On the other, they often leave us with decision fatigue and shallow interactions. You are connecting with more people than ever, yet feeling lonelier than ever!
Add to that a swirl of AI algorithms, shifting social norms, and sky-high expectations, and suddenly, dating feels less like magic and more like math.
Real emotional intimacy can seem like a rare treasure buried under surface-level chats and half-hearted DMs.
Everyone wants real love — but many of us are scared to be vulnerable, hesitant to trust, and reluctant to settle.
Social media doesn’t help much either. It often paints an idealized picture of love, all curated insta selfies and perfect dates. But what we don’t get to see are the quiet struggles, the messy growth, and the courage it takes to stay present and open-hearted.
And yet, despite all this noise, our hearts keeps searching — for that spark, that meaninful connection, that sense of being seen by someone who truly gets you.
Everything You Need To Know About Soulmate Connections
Who is my soulmate?” It’s a question I often hear during psychic readings. Clients want to know if their current partner is “the one,” or when their soulmate will arrive.
Some people start relationships convinced they’ve met their soulmate, only to watch their supposed “forever love” walk away with someone else. Puzzled, they contact me, asking, “How could this happen if two souls were meant to be together?”
Too many people are left heartbroken and confused when a well-meaning relative or friend, or a misguided psychic lacking spiritual integrity, encourages or assures them that this person is definitely “the one.”
Wrongly believing that a love connection is fated can make the subsequent loss even more painful. Just because a connection feels intense or special doesn’t mean it’s destined to last forever. True soul connections serve a purpose, but that purpose isn’t always love, romance, or lifelong companionship.
Unscrupulous readers and people with poor judgment often misread situations and create false hope, causing lovestruck individuals to cling to relationships that were never meant to last—or even exist, for that matter.
So, what exactly is a soulmate? Spiritually speaking, a soulmate is someone with whom you share a profound pre-birth or past-life connection, or both. These people show up in our lives to help us evolve spiritually, often reestablishing old relationships for the purpose of healing and transformation.
When Walking Away Is A Sacred Act of Love
One of the most life-changing truths we come to face on the spiritual path is this: not everyone is meant to walk with us all the way.
As we awaken and align more closely with our authentic self, some relationships begin to fall away. While it’s natural to resist this because endings hurt and change can feel like loss, there is a quiet, sacred truth beneath it all: Letting go is often an act of love.
As your soul expands, you begin to see your relationships differently. They are no longer just emotional bonds or physical connections; they reveal themselves as soul contracts—agreements made on a spiritual level before you ever met people in the physical realm.
Some people come into your life to uplift you, to love you, and to walk beside you for the long haul. Others arrive to teach you about boundaries, self-worth, and discernment. Once their role is complete, the relationship may start to feel heavy, strained, or even harmful. This isn’t failure; it’s a sign that the contract has been fulfilled.
Yet, this part of the journey is rarely discussed. In spiritual circles, we often hear messages about unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance. These are indeed sacred spiritual principles. But we rarely hear the equally sacred teaching that sometimes the most loving thing you can do is walk away!
Letting go of a toxic or misaligned relationship is not abandonment or selfishness. It’s not also not a sign of weakness, cowardice, or a lack of spiritual depth. In fact, it often requires more courage and clarity than staying.
They Can’t Gaslight You If You Trust Your Gut!
Gaslighting can be a very destructive aspect of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of “reality twisting” or “crazy-making” that is designed to confuse or manipulate the victim.
Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship by making the victim question their reality. The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, at work, and with neighbors.
Sometimes it’s done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but more often it’s done under the radar, and you don’t always know who’s gaslighting you, or even that you’re being gaslighted.
“Gaslighting” is a psychological term derived from the 1938 stage play Gas Light and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations. The movie is about a husband’s attempts to systematically drive his wife crazy by repeatedly dimming the gas lights in their home, only to deny that it ever happened when the wife asks him if he also noticed it. Over time, he manipulates his wife to the point where she believes she is imagining things and loses her mind.
Gaslighting is a common manipulation technique used by dictators, con artists, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists, and cult leaders. It’s done in such a way that the victim rarely realizes how much they’ve actually been brainwashed.
At first, the victim may have the idea that they’re not imagining things, but that someone else is doing this to them. They may even have an intuition about who that person is. However, the goal of gaslighting is to get victims to doubt these rational thoughts and replace them completely with the belief that there is something wrong with them, either mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically. The worst part, in my opinion, is that it makes you doubt your own intuition.