happiness
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Letting Go
I sometimes do readings for clients who feel they have to control absolutely everything in their lives. They are rarely calm, rarely happy, always frazzled. There’s a constant tension around them, a palpable anxiety, as if they’re always one step away from a meltdown, or even a complete breakdown.
Many of us have experienced this feeling or seen it in others – the compulsion to control every outcome, every detail, believing that by sheer force of will we can make life bend to our wishes.
But here’s the thing: life has a way of moving on its own, whether we like it or not. And often, the more we try to grasp and hold on, the more things slip out of our control.
A song that often comes to mind when I think about this is the song Let It Be by the Beatles. Let it be, let it be. There will be an answer, let it be. This timeless classic is a simple yet powerful reminder of the peace that can come from stopping to resist and simply allowing things to unfold as they are meant to.
Letting go is not about giving up; it’s about trusting that life has a rhythm, a universal flow, and when we align ourselves with it, life becomes infinitely more peaceful and enjoyable.
In my work as a psychic consultant, I’ve found that those who feel the need to control every aspect of their lives often carry a heavy burden of stress. They struggle to find joy because they are too preoccupied with micromanaging every little detail. Life becomes a series of hurdles and challenges, and instead of going with the flow, they are constantly swimming against the current. It’s exhausting and soul-destroying.
Toxic Friendships: End It, Or Mend It?
Like all relationships, friendships have their ups and downs, testing the bonds that bind us together.
A true friend is someone who genuinely wants the best for you, celebrates your victories, and supports you through challenges. They offer encouragement, share your joys, and lend a sympathetic ear during difficult times.
The presence of true friends adds value to your life and fosters growth and positivity. You have a healthy friendship that thrives on mutual respect and care, where both parties feel uplifted and inspired to be their best selves.
In stark contrast, a toxic friend is often self-absorbed, putting their own needs and desires above all else. They manipulate situations to get what they want, with little regard for how their actions affect your happiness.
This type of friendship can feel draining, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning your self-worth. Instead of celebrating your achievements, a toxic friend may resort to jealousy or criticism, undermining your confidence.
Toxic friendships can deeply affect our emotional and mental well-being, often leaving us feeling drained and undervalued. These relationships are characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, and lack of support, creating an environment where one party consistently takes more than they give.
The dynamic can include jealousy, competition, or even emotional abuse, making it difficult to feel safe and authentic. Over time, toxic friendships can lead to diminished self-esteem and increased stress, underscoring the importance of recognizing and addressing these unhealthy connections.
Some Will Only Know Joy In The Afterlife
Shortly after my father’s death in 2005, I began sitting in a monthly mediumship circle with three friends. At our third gathering, my father began the first of many communications from the other side.
This experience was made even more special by the fact that one of the sitters was my father’s hospice nurse.
How fortunate I was during those last six months of my father’s life to not only have the wonderful support of this earth angel, but also to feel so connected to her through our interest in things of a psychic and spiritualist nature.
What a bonus then to have her as an additional link to him in our psychic circle.
At one point, however, my father stopped communicating during our sessions for a period of about three months. When his presence finally returned, I asked him where he had been, and he replied, “Learning about joy!”
This was very surprising to me because my father never really knew or showed much joy when he was in this world. Or maybe he never allowed himself to experience joy. The only times he seemed really happy or joyful was when he had what he called “several sherbets under his belt,” meaning he’d be pretty intoxicated!
I felt both sad and happy. Sad because he had never known joy as I knew it – just rolling around on the floor playing with my pets, sharing a joke with a friend, or being elated when a client came back to say that their life had taken a turn for the better. But I was happy that he was finally allowing himself to learn about and experience some joy.
Letting Go Of Guilt
We all like to be seen as good people, and it can be deeply unsettling when others perceive us otherwise. When we find ourselves in a disagreement with a dear friend or colleague and take the blame for something we’re not responsible for, it’s natural to feel unhappy.
Spirit teaches that while it’s important to own our actions and the roles we play in conflict, guilt only serves to amplify feelings of remorse. If we allow guilt to fester, we may begin to believe that we are “bad” people who do not deserve happiness and success.
This is far from the truth. We are human, and human beings have the ability to change. Our actions may not always be right, but that doesn’t mean we are inherently bad or deserving of punishment.
Making mistakes is part of being human, and sometimes we need to adjust our responses, especially in challenging situations, in order to grow and improve. Spirit suggests that this is a much healthier perspective.
However, taking this “healthy approach” is often easier said than done. We’ve grown up in a world where elders, peers, and society define what is good and bad – even when they’re not always right. This can lead us to judge ourselves harshly and feel unnecessary guilt.
Many traditional spiritual teachings emphasize the importance of forgiveness, both of oneself and of others. In Christianity, for example, the concept of repentance is central; believers are encouraged to confess their sins, seek divine forgiveness, and then release their guilt, trusting that God’s grace has absolved them.
Take The Heavenly Solitude Challenge!
My clients often ask me how I manage to stay so positive and upbeat every time they call for a psychic reading. They often mention how my energy seems to lift their spirits, and this brings me immense joy! I feel blessed when I can share my gift for energetic healing.
This does not mean that I am automatically or miraculously energized and balanced to be of service to others. To share some love and light, I have to be disciplined with my spiritual practice and self-care routine. One of the key ingredients in my self-nuturing routine that keeps me going is spending some time in solitude.
Solitude is to be alone by choice, without the presence or interference of others. As a spiritual practice it involves deliberately setting aside time to be alone, away from the distractions and demands of daily life, in order to connect more deeply with your higher self, spirit and the divine. It is a time of quiet reflection and introspection.
Unlike loneliness, which is often associated with negative emotions, solitude is a positive and restorative experience, embraced for spiritual growth and personal well-being. I often enjoy my solitude with a cup of tea or coffee, sometimes knitting, sewing, doing yoga, meditating or going for a walk. I cherish these moments and wish everyone could experience the peace they bring, even if only for a few hours each day.
A good time to embrace solitude and a spiritual practice is during times of transition or personal challenge, when life feels overwhelming or uncertain. Whether you’re navigating a career change, recovering from a loss, or simply feeling disconnected from your inner self, solitude can provide the clarity and peace you need to reconnect with your passion and purpose.
Begin By Loving Yourself Unconditionally
The first person each of us learns to love is ourselves. And that’s exactly how it should be, although many of us seem to forget this fundamental truth as we navigate the complexities of life.
But if we don’t cultivate self-love, how can we expect to show genuine love and care for anyone else?
In our society, love is often misunderstood as an abstract “thing” that we either have or don’t have. This view is fundamentally flawed. Love is not just a passive state or a fleeting emotion; it’s an active, conscious choice. We must make self-love an integral part of our daily thoughts and actions.
Unfortunately, our culture is often harsh, judgmental, and narrow-minded. This societal backdrop can deeply affect our self-perception, making it easy to forget how to love ourselves. Many people experience moments of self-doubt or feel less than perfect.
This self-criticism can snowball and lead us to constantly put ourselves down. But this doesn’t have to be our reality. The foundation of all healthy relationships – romantic or otherwise – is unconditional self-love.
So how do we cultivate this essential self-love? It begins with simple affirmations. Remember that you are you – and that’s more than enough. Create a mantra that resonates with you and repeat it regularly. When you’re comfortable, try speaking directly to your reflection in the mirror. It may feel awkward at first, but it’s a powerful way to reinforce positive self-esteem.
Become A Magnet For Joy And Happiness
Have you ever experienced such an intense level of joy after receiving wonderful news or a successful outcome that not even the most negative person could dampen your mood or ruin your day?
Well, that’s the kind of energy you need to send out into the universe if you want to become a magnet for love, happiness and fulfillment.
Many people are constantly stuck in a cycle of negativity. They see the worst in every situation and project their pessimism onto everyone and everything around them.
As a psychic counselor, I’ve worked with many clients over the years who have fallen victim to the negativity of such naysayers and energy thieves – people who try to drag others down to their level to alleviate their own discomfort.
In these scenarios, I then guide my clients on how to better protect themselves energetically and maintain balance spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and in the worst cases, even physically.
They do this by creating an invisible shield that deflects the negativity. This shield sends the negative energy right back at the ‘happiness trolls,’ neutralizing their psychic attacks and preventing their pessimistic, toxic energy from affecting you.
Your life will take a major turn for the better when you realize that some people are not even aware of how their negativity affects others. Often these people have had very difficult lives or traumatic childhoods filled with anger and conflict. They are often carriers of serious levels of unresolved karmic debt, which they typically make no effort to address due to their lack of self-awareness and spiritual awareness. You cannot expect someone to break free of these karmic patterns and ancestral legacies if they are not aware that they even exist.