inner child
Honoring Yourself In Difficult Family Relationships
Family dynamics can be tremendously complex for many of us. These relationships are multilayered and deeply ingrained, often playing out across generations.
Many of my clients seek psychic insight about family matters. After matters of love and romance, and then business or career, family is often the most emotionally charged subject.
In readings, especially with empaths, intuitives, and highly sensitive individuals, I hear countless stories of family pain. Many carry a sense of never belonging, of being misunderstood or scapegoated.
These emotional burdens are often the heaviest that people bear because they are tied to the people they loved first and still love, despite the hurt.
When control or finances are interwoven into the family structure, the complexity of these relationships multiplies.
For many, family represents a love-hate relationship or a deep bond that carries deep wounds. While we cannot choose our family, we do have a say in how we interact with them, how we respond, and whether we continue to engage.
Severing family ties is a significant and often heartbreaking decision that is never taken lightly. By the time someone considers taking this step, the drama or emotional abuse has often been ongoing for decades and is sometimes rooted in a vividly painful childhood.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Butterflies
My grandmother was a poet. When I was a child, she wrote a beautiful poem about me. It was about a fairy girl who spent all her time outside chasing butterflies. The poem had a poignant message:
In time, the pendulum swings,
and you can’t hear the butterfly’s wings.
It was her way of reminding me to hold on to my youthful passion, to nurture the light within, and to resist life’s inevitable disappointments.
This wisdom has stayed with me long after her passing, and in the years since, butterflies have become more than a reminder of her — they’ve become her messengers.
Butterflies often appear in my life when I’m feeling overwhelmed, under attack, or grieving a loss. They flutter around me, landing gently on my skin and hovering close as if to whisper a reminder: “Don’t let anyone steal your light.”
These delicate creatures have become symbols of resilience, hope, and the enduring connection between my grandmother’s spirit and my own.
Butterflies hold deep spiritual significance across cultures and belief systems. They are seen as symbols of transformation, freedom, and the soul’s journey.
Their life cycle — from caterpillar to cocoon to winged beauty — mirrors our own processes of growth, healing, and self-discovery. They teach us that even in our most confined and vulnerable states, there is the potential for magnificent change.
How To Embrace Your Shadow Self
Most people tend to shy away from acknowledging their dark or “shadow” side when it comes to spirituality.
In fact, the tendency to avoid the uncomfortable aspects of the self is due in large part to our religious or spiritual background. Throughout history, most traditions have encouraged people to suppress, deny, or transcend their human flaws and shortcomings in favor of higher ideals such as purity, salvation, or enlightenment.
This reluctance to face the shadow within continues to this day, with modern spiritual and metaphysical communities often favoring light, love, and positivity while largely ignoring the messy, difficult, and painful aspects of the human experience.
But by avoiding the shadow within, we deny ourselves the opportunity for a deeper understanding of our soul’s purpose and untapped possibilities for personal and spiritual growth.
According to Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist who pioneered the concept of the “shadow” in psychology, “one is not enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Enlightenment isn’t about avoiding the shadow. Instead, it’s about facing it and integrating it into our being.
When we face the shadow within, we reclaim parts of ourselves that hold immense power, creativity, and insight. By delving into the deeper truths of our shadow selves, we can unravel the unconscious patterns that dictate our lives, allowing for true healing, transformation, and enlightenment.
Rebuild Your Trust In A Benevolent Universe
Have you ever watched a child learn to ride a bicycle? There is a certain excitement associated with this rite of passage as youngsters wholeheartedly embrace the possibility of being able to soon ride down the street without help.
The first time they get on a bike, they have no prior knowledge or experience to compare it to. Nevertheless, it is usually easy for most children to accept that they will be able to accomplish this task.
Most kids, in their innocence, focus on the joy, freedom and fulfillment of riding a bike rather than worrying about not being able to do it, let alone falling and getting hurt. They also don’t think in terms of good or bad ‘luck’ determining their ultimate success, nor do they imagine that riding a bike is a special gift, talent or privilege reserved only for certain people.
Perhaps this self-belief stems in part from an encouraging parent who has confidently assured the young person that they will indeed be able to achieve this skill. Perhaps the child has seen other children learn to do it and therefore trusts that they can do it, too.
The thing about children is not so much that they blindly or foolishly trust, but simply that, unlike most adults, they have not yet learned to distrust. Being able to trust as an adult is therefore not so much a matter of learning to trust, but of regaining the ability to trust that we once had, until we lost some or all of it through trauma, disappointment, betrayal, or hardship.
Betrayal Blindness And The Family Scapegoat
I have a good friend who was raised by a mother who constantly belittled and talked down to her. She never defended herself, because she grew up believing that she deserved her mother’s abuse, because something was wrong with her causing her to always say and do the wrong things.
Once she graduated high school, she moved out of her mom’s house. Her life became much more peaceful for several years, until she started noticing that her brother was following in their mother’s footsteps by adopting the same kind of toxic, abusive language towards her.
It oddly became evident to her one year at Christmas time, when she gifted him a beautiful, crocheted blanket that she had been working on for many months and he rolled his eyes and made some disparaging remark about it. She then started noticing how pompous, ungrateful, and narcissistic he truly was. Growing up with him, she always assumed he just had bit of an ego or a macho attitude, but now that she had gained life experience and wisdom, she realized he was simply an abusive jerk.
Still, she chose not to criticize or judge him. In fact, she did the opposite, she encouraged his long-suffering partner to stay by his side and continue to support and love him, because she understood that he was also just a product of his upbringing, like herself. Meanwhile, he faithfully continued judging and belittling her. Because that is what he had seen their mother do all his life.
But one day, something inside her finally shifted. She had reached a point of no return and decided to start standing up for herself! Enough already.
Reawaken Your Psychic Ability
Many of us are born with the ability to perceive the unseen, sense the future and communicate with spirit. Childhood conditioning and trauma, religious and cultural influences in how we were raised, and various circumstances and life experiences can suppress our psychic gifts, often because we were told it is silly, inapproriate, or even ‘evil.’
If you can relate to this, then you need to know that your psychic talent is never lost or destroyed. You can reconnect with your natural gifts by engaging in various spiritual and metaphysical practices that will reawaken and develop your psychic abilities.
I started this process myself years ago by experimenting with various forms of meditation. Meditation teaches one to achieve altered states of consciousness, to become more aware of perceptions and energies that we otherwise do not notice in our normal waking state.
I also started keeping a ‘psychic journal.’ I wrote down my dreams every morning, as well as any unusual thoughts and feelings I had about a person or situation. Using these notes as reference, I would later check the relevanc and accuracy of my perceptions and premonitions.
Studying various divination methods also helped me a lot. For example, Astrology helped me to better understand the ancient metaphysical concept of “as above, so below,” and how it affects our daily lives. Astrology references universal consciousness and divine design, and the direct affect it has on us. It gave me greater insight into why people born under certain zodiac signs behave the way they do, and how each planet affects us, especially when it retrogrades, or moves into a new sign. It also explains why people get more emotional when the Moon is full, or why communication breaks down when Mercury is in retrograde.
It Is Never ‘Just A Dream’
People often say, “It was just a dream, it does not mean anything.” But in my experience our dreams always mean something, and sometimes it is profound.
Dreams serve important mental, emotional, and spiritual functions in our life journey. Our dreams help us to process and learn from our daily experiences, store memories and important information, master new skills, and manage our emotions. Dreams are also key to our inner guidance, spiritual expansion, karmic evolution, and soul growth. And some dreams are the key to healing trauma.
The first nine years of my life my family lived in a small town, until we moved to a much bigger and more bustling city. Soon after we settled in our new location, I began having the same dream repeatedly.
The content of the dream never wavered. I was back in our hometown, and I was standing frighteningly close to the edge of a large, deep lake. Then suddenly I was running away from a threatening bear chasing me. The intensity of this nightmare never changed, and I consistently woke up terrified.
Around the time I turned 14, it suddenly stopped, and I never experienced the dream again.
Years later, I researched the dream’s possible meaning. I then learned that water often represents emotion, while frequently dreaming about being chased is a sign of feeling stressed, anxious, worried, or fearful. In my dream, I was running away from the negative emotion, or trying to avoid it.