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Toxic Friendships: End It, Or Mend It?
Like all relationships, friendships have their ups and downs, testing the bonds that bind us together.
A true friend is someone who genuinely wants the best for you, celebrates your victories, and supports you through challenges. They offer encouragement, share your joys, and lend a sympathetic ear during difficult times.
The presence of true friends adds value to your life and fosters growth and positivity. You have a healthy friendship that thrives on mutual respect and care, where both parties feel uplifted and inspired to be their best selves.
In stark contrast, a toxic friend is often self-absorbed, putting their own needs and desires above all else. They manipulate situations to get what they want, with little regard for how their actions affect your happiness.
This type of friendship can feel draining, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning your self-worth. Instead of celebrating your achievements, a toxic friend may resort to jealousy or criticism, undermining your confidence.
Toxic friendships can deeply affect our emotional and mental well-being, often leaving us feeling drained and undervalued. These relationships are characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, and lack of support, creating an environment where one party consistently takes more than they give.
The dynamic can include jealousy, competition, or even emotional abuse, making it difficult to feel safe and authentic. Over time, toxic friendships can lead to diminished self-esteem and increased stress, underscoring the importance of recognizing and addressing these unhealthy connections.
How To Deal With Toxic Drama Royalty
These days, there is drama, crazy-making and toxic behavior everywhere you turn. And it’s not just on social media and public transportation…many of us have to deal with people in our personal and professional lives who are overly demanding, entitled, melodramatic, mean-spirited, always in victim mode, or just plain unhinged.
Sadly, many of these spiritually handicapped souls are people close to us, people we care deeply about. It can be daunting to deal with their toxic actions and volatile behaviors, and trying to ignore them is exhausting and even impossible in the long run.
But other people’s dysfunction and drama doesn’t have to weigh down your spirit, and it doesn’t always have to be so difficult to deal with, especially with some spiritual support and backup.
The first rule to remember is that love works better than anything else. So, the first step should also be to offer the “drama royal” plenty of compassion.
Chances are the drama king or queen in your life is wounded in some way. Dysfunctional behavior and toxicity often stem from unresolved hurt or deep trauma.
Many people who exhibit dramatic or demanding tendencies often aren’t aware of how their behavior affects others. They may be caught in a cycle of emotional turmoil and, as a result, seek external validation through attention and theatricality. Rather than focusing on the label “drama,” it’s helpful to think of these behaviors as expressions of unresolved pain or unmet emotional or spiritual needs.
How Venus Debilitation Impacts Your Love Life
As we find ourselves in the midst of the annual Venus debilitation transit until September 18, it’s important to understand how this cosmic event tends to affect our love lives and relationships.
In astrology, debilitation refers to a planet being in a weaker or less favorable position in the zodiac, which affects its ability to express its natural qualities. When a planet is debilitated, it is limited in the expression of its positive qualities and may instead exhibit more challenging qualities. This concept is a key element in Vedic astrology (Jyotish), which emphasizes the dignity of the planets based on their positions in the zodiac.
Venus is considered weak in the sign of Virgo. Virgo, an earth sign ruled by Mercury, is associated with practicality, analysis and critical thinking. These qualities conflict with Venus’ natural inclinations toward love, harmony, pleasure, and artistic expression. This period can bring emotional instability, communication breakdowns and a need for introspection in your relationships.
But while a Venusian weakening is usually seen as a challenging or negative time for love and relationships, it can actually be a blessing in disguise. This cosmic event forces us to look deeper into the dynamics of our relationships and helps us identify areas that need attention or improvement.
When Venus is weakened, it strips away illusions and forces us to confront the realities of our romantic lives. By facing these truths, we have the opportunity to address unresolved issues, break unhealthy patterns, and communicate more honestly with our partners. This introspection can lead to a greater understanding of what we truly need and value in our relationships, paving the way for more authentic and meaningful connections.
Letting Go Of Guilt
We all like to be seen as good people, and it can be deeply unsettling when others perceive us otherwise. When we find ourselves in a disagreement with a dear friend or colleague and take the blame for something we’re not responsible for, it’s natural to feel unhappy.
Spirit teaches that while it’s important to own our actions and the roles we play in conflict, guilt only serves to amplify feelings of remorse. If we allow guilt to fester, we may begin to believe that we are “bad” people who do not deserve happiness and success.
This is far from the truth. We are human, and human beings have the ability to change. Our actions may not always be right, but that doesn’t mean we are inherently bad or deserving of punishment.
Making mistakes is part of being human, and sometimes we need to adjust our responses, especially in challenging situations, in order to grow and improve. Spirit suggests that this is a much healthier perspective.
However, taking this “healthy approach” is often easier said than done. We’ve grown up in a world where elders, peers, and society define what is good and bad – even when they’re not always right. This can lead us to judge ourselves harshly and feel unnecessary guilt.
Many traditional spiritual teachings emphasize the importance of forgiveness, both of oneself and of others. In Christianity, for example, the concept of repentance is central; believers are encouraged to confess their sins, seek divine forgiveness, and then release their guilt, trusting that God’s grace has absolved them.
Tarot Forecast September 2024: Two Of Cups
The card that came up for this month is the Two of Cups, which carries the symbolism of connection, balance, harmony, mutual affection, and partnership.
In the Rider-Waite Tarot deck, this card depicts a couple standing face to face, each holding a golden cup in one hand. They extend their cups toward each other as if in a toast or exchange, symbolizing a mutual offering of affection, love, support, or a celebration of their shared success. Their gaze is locked, indicating a deep connection and understanding between them.
Above their heads is a caduceus, the ancient symbol of healing, two serpents intertwined, representing their powerful union and the personal and spiritual healing they find with each other. At the top is a winged lion’s head, symbolizing spiritual strength and divine protection in the sacred union of their souls.
The core meaning of this card is the coming together of two individuals. This can be romantic, platonic, or business-related. The emphasis is on mutual respect, harmony, understanding, and a balanced give and take.
The cups also represent emotion. It’s a card of deep emotional intimacy, connection, and a harmonious union based on mutual respect and love. This card often signifies the beginning of a new chapter in a partnership or committed relationship, full of potential and growth.
As we enter this new month, the energy of the Two of Cups will take center stage, guiding us through various aspects of life with themes of harmony, emotional connection and mutual understanding.
The Spiritual Power Of Choosing To Forgive
Forgiveness is a much-discussed topic in spiritual circles. It is also often deeply misunderstood.
Forgiveness does not mean condoning wrongdoing or accepting abuse or cruelty. Instead, it involves choosing not to carry the darkness and negativity that has been inflicted upon you, and refusing to allow it to affect your well-being, either physically or emotionally.
While it’s ideal to find compassion for those who have wronged you, it’s not always possible. Understand that those who caused you harm are often suffering themselves.
Happy and fulfilled people are naturally kind, generous, and honest. In contrast, those consumed by self-loathing and misery tend to spread chaos and cruelty. Their relationships are full of conflict and dissatisfaction.
I once worked with a man who was clearly struggling with mental illness. Circumstances placed us in a business relationship that I initially tried to avoid, preferring to distance myself from unhealthy situations. However, I was compelled to help him because I was told that my true role was to support his children and providing help where it was needed most.
This unfortunate man is consumed by rage from his own traumatic past-abuse by his mother, mistreatment by her successive husbands, and conflict with his first ex-wife. His life is a testament to the destructive power of unresolved anger and lack of forgiveness. His toxic energy is rooted in past hurts and a cycle of inflicting pain on others.
Self-Charity Is Your Spiritual Responsibility
Charity truly begins at home. To be truly charitable to others, we must first be kind and generous to ourselves.
Whether we view “charity” as giving alms to the poor, showing kindness to strangers, or extending non-judgment in times of questionable behavior, it is imperative that we first take care of our own needs. Why? Because we cannot freely and easily give to others what we have not given to ourselves.
Our true nature as incarnated spirit beings is to be loving, kind, and giving. However, it is our spiritual duty to take care of ourselves first so that we can offer more to others and make a real difference in the world.
Self-charity, or prioritizing our own needs before helping others, involves several key components.
Self-awareness is critical, requiring regular self-reflection and mindfulness to stay in tune with our mental, emotional, and physical states. Prioritizing self-care through activities such as regular exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga is essential.
Mindful time management helps balance work, rest, and play, ensuring we don’t overcommit and have enough downtime to recharge.
Emotional management is essential and includes healthy ways to process and express emotions, such as journaling, talking to a trusted friend or therapist, or engaging in creative activities. Setting boundaries, learning to say no, and protecting our time, energy, and resources help us manage our lives effectively. Seeking support when needed, whether from friends, family, or professionals, ensures that we don’t carry burdens alone.