self-acceptance
The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’
I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.
He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.
After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.
The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?
Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?
Be The Light That Darkness Cannot Touch
The nightmare continues every day. The very thing we fear the most has come to look us right in the face, staring in our eyes. This little imp taps us on the shoulder, reminding us of all the stupid things we did, all the hurtful things, how we messed up, time after time.
We messed up time again, no one agrees with us, we are reminded that “they” are so much smarter, did things exactly right every time.
We are at a turning point. We can give up, turn, run for the hills to hide, but still there is the demon of fear lingering around the deep recesses of our mind.
Surely this little devil of fear tells us we can see how we don’t deserve to reach our dreams, or accomplish our goals.
Stand back! Truly look at everything from all sides. Become like an eagle, or an owl, or a hawk, with eyes that see far beyond the surface where the heart lies.
Try to be kind and loving. Put your mind in the thoughts of being kind, being positive, no matter how much doing so lays open our heart for others to stomp on, even though many others will think you have lost your mind.
When we try with all our hearts to do something toward our dream, with love, with pure knowledge, we are listening to spirit. Then we gain strength, we gain courage, we pass over the top of the highest mountain to reach the other side. Let this outlook enlighten your heart, mind and soul toward a new attitude, for a new beginning.
Embracing The Shadow Within
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
It’s Time To Take Better Care Of Your Self!
Only you know when it’s time to step into your authentic self. Only you know when it’s time to break free from the constraints of a life that no longer serves you and start living the life you were meant to live.
If your daily routine feels like running on a hamster wheel – repetitive, exhausting and uninspiring – it is time to step off and embrace change.
Doing the same thing the same way will always produce the same results. But by making small changes, you can cultivate a life of balance, joy, and fulfillment.
We are often our own worst critics. That little voice in your head may be whispering, “I can’t do this. I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve happiness.” These negative thoughts act as invisible barriers holding you back from personal growth.
It’s time to clear the mental clutter and make room for self-love and self-confidence. Replacing negative self-talk with empowering affirmations will shift your perspective and help you align with your highest potential.
Let go of the idea that we can rewrite the past. The past is past, and you have the power to create a new, fulfilling present. Living in the moment allows you to fully experience life without the weight of regret or fear of the unknown.
Your thoughts create your reality. A positive outlook attracts positive experiences, while negativity creates more negativity. The words you use-both out loud and in your mind-hold energy and influence your emotions and interactions. Even simple word choices can change the tone of a conversation and affect outcomes. By consciously choosing optimism, you can improve your relationships, well-being, and overall happiness.
Embrace The Wisdom Of Your Inner Crone
The archetypes of the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone are central figures in various spiritual and mythological traditions, especially in Paganism and Wicca, where they represent the Triple Goddess. They symbolize the three primary phases of a woman’s life and the cycles of nature, and are associated with the phases of the moon — waxing, full, and waning.
The Maiden is associated with the waxing moon, representing youth, new beginnings, potential, and innocence; the Mother aligns with the full moon, embodying creation, fertility, abundance, and maturity; and the Crone is associated with the waning moon, symbolizing wisdom, life experience, reflection, and endings that lead to new beginnings.
In Greek mythology, these archetypes are seen in the Moirai or Fates: Clotho (the spinner of the thread of life), Lachesis (the measurer), and Atropos (the cutter). Similarly, in Hinduism, the goddess Kali represents the transformative power of the Crone, who presides over destruction and rebirth. They remind us of the cyclical nature of existence and the interconnectedness of the stages of life.
Mary, the mother of Jesus, embodies the essence of the Crone within the Christian tradition. As Mater Dolorosa (Sorrowful Mother), she is revered as a figure of profound strength and resilience, having witnessed the suffering and death of her Son. Her wisdom, born of enduring immense grief and unwavering faith, serves as a beacon of strength and compassion for the faithful. She is seen as a compassionate and empathetic figure who understands human suffering and intercedes for believers with her love and wisdom.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Butterflies
My grandmother was a poet. When I was a child, she wrote a beautiful poem about me. It was about a fairy girl who spent all her time outside chasing butterflies. The poem had a poignant message:
In time, the pendulum swings,
and you can’t hear the butterfly’s wings.
It was her way of reminding me to hold on to my youthful passion, to nurture the light within, and to resist life’s inevitable disappointments.
This wisdom has stayed with me long after her passing, and in the years since, butterflies have become more than a reminder of her — they’ve become her messengers.
Butterflies often appear in my life when I’m feeling overwhelmed, under attack, or grieving a loss. They flutter around me, landing gently on my skin and hovering close as if to whisper a reminder: “Don’t let anyone steal your light.”
These delicate creatures have become symbols of resilience, hope, and the enduring connection between my grandmother’s spirit and my own.
Butterflies hold deep spiritual significance across cultures and belief systems. They are seen as symbols of transformation, freedom, and the soul’s journey.
Their life cycle — from caterpillar to cocoon to winged beauty — mirrors our own processes of growth, healing, and self-discovery. They teach us that even in our most confined and vulnerable states, there is the potential for magnificent change.
Forgiving Yourself Is A Spiritual Necessity
Self-forgiveness is more than just a mental health recommendation – it is a spiritual necessity. It is vital for the spiritually aware person to release guilt, self-blame, and self-criticism, because forgiving oneself is crucial to both personal well-being and spiritual progress. It allows for healing, growth, and the ability to live a more fulfilling and harmonious life.
Failure to forgive ourselves can have profound personal and spiritual side effects. Carrying guilt and self-blame leads to chronic emotional distress and contributes to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Over time, this can manifest itself in physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, or even chronic illness.
A lack of self-forgiveness undermines self-worth and hinders personal growth and development. Difficulty forgiving yourself also strains your relationships with others, as it can lead to withdrawal, defensiveness, or projecting negativity onto those around you. Without forgiveness, our negative feelings toward ourselves can fester and damage even our most cherished relationships with our loved ones and friends.
Holding onto guilt and self-blame blocks the flow of positive energy through the chakras and hinders spiritual well-being. For example, guilt often stagnates in the solar plexus chakra, affecting one’s sense of personal power. Self-forgiveness is essential for clearing such blockages in the energy field.
Forgiveness is also essential to achieving inner peace and harmony. Without it, one can experience constant inner turmoil and restlessness. When we hold onto guilt, shame, or self-blame, parts of our spiritual essence or inner divinity are suppressed or disconnected. It causes separation from one’s spiritual path or a sense of disconnection from spirit and the divine.