How To Deal With Negativity And Toxic Drama

Many people today feel overwhelmed, angry, frustrated, fearful. This is especially evident online in the social media landscape. Unfortunately, too often this leads to attacks on others, including innocent people and companies.

It can be challenging to know how best to deal with all this toxic negativity. I believe it’s best to approach this issue spiritually, from a metaphysical or energetic standpoint.

Energy, whether positive or negative, grows when we feed it. Consider a plant: in order to thrive, it needs water, sunlight, and nutrients from the earth. If neglected, it will wither. The same principle applies to our interactions with the world around us: by paying attention to something, we feed it with our energy.

This is crucial to remember when dealing with any kind of negativity, both online and in person. To thrive energetically, we must be selective about who and what we pay attention to.

Huna, an ancient Hawaiian spiritual tradition, teaches that energy flows where attention goes. Every time we choose where to direct our energy, we’re making an active choice about what we want to grow in our lives. When we respond to negativity – whether with anger, defensiveness, or frustration – we end up reinforcing the very things we want to avoid.  To maintain peace and harmony, huna advises focusing on positive intentions and constructive energy.

By giving toxic energy thieves our attention, we allow their negaivity to take root in our hearts and minds. Feeding negativity or drama only strengthens it, which ultimately affects our own well-being. When we consciously choose to withdraw our energy from negative influences and redirect it to uplifting and positive areas, we create an environment where peace and growth can flourish.

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive, it will take their breath away ~ Tony Gaskins

Many spiritual traditions teach the wisdom of avoiding drama and negativity, emphasizing the importance of inner peace and energy protection.

Turn the other cheek: Christian teachings, such as Jesus’ advice to “turn the other cheek,” emphasize the value of non-retaliation. By refusing to respond to negativity, we avoid being drawn into cycles of anger and resentment, thus protecting our inner peace.

The Law of Karma: Hindu and Buddhist principles of karma teach that every action and intention has a consequence. Engaging in negativity perpetuates a cycle of negative energy, while remaining positive generates good karma.

Ego detachment: Rooted in the principle of universal brotherhood and the idea that all beings are interconnected, Theosophy emphasizes the need for individuals to rise above lower emotions and divisive energies such as anger, gossip, and conflict. Practitioners are encouraged to cultivate ego detachment, which helps them remain unaffected by external conflicts. In the Jewish mystical tradition of Kabbalah, detachment from the human ego is also seen as essential to connecting with the divine spark within. By overcoming the yetzer hara (the tendency toward selfish desires), one can embody selflessness and compassion.

Detach from external conflicts: Advaita Vedanta in Hindu philosophy promotes detachment from the external world, including drama. By observing without reacting, we maintain peace and see conflict as a temporary distraction.

Balance through non-action: Taoism promotes harmony through wu wei, or non-action. Engaging in drama upsets inner balance, while letting go of resistance cultivates peace and mental clarity.

Avoid idle talk: In Sufi mysticism, gossip and idle talk cloud the heart and distract from spiritual growth. Sufis prioritize inner focus and avoid unnecessary conversation to maintain peace.

As within, so without: Hermeticism emphasizes that our inner state shapes our outer world. By maintaining inner calm and not feeding drama, we attract a peaceful environment.

The Law of Threefold Return: This Wiccan principle teaches that whatever energy we send out is returned to us threefold. Engaging in negativity can have serious repercussions, so Wiccans strive to focus on kindness and positive actions.

Do no harm: The Wiccan Rede encourages the avoidance of negativity and harm. This includes staying out of drama to protect our own energy.

Don’t take things personally: Toltec wisdom advises us not to take the actions of others personally. By recognizing that everyone’s actions come from their own beliefs, we detach from negativity and protect our inner peace.

People who live a life full of drama are lacking purpose and meaningful goals. After all, when you have purpose and meaning you don’t want to waste your life on drama ~ Karen Salmansohn

Understanding Negativity & Toxic Behavior

Unfortunately, it is human nature that some people enjoy seeing others struggle because it makes them feel more empowered and less miserable about their own lives. These people live in a perpetual loop of negativity and drama that they cannot escape, and they want others to feel the same way. In many cases, their behavior is a cry for help. When they insult, humiliate, or criticize others, what they are really saying is, “I feel scared, lost, insecure, lonely, ignored – please pay attention to me!

When we respond to these people, we usually just fan the flames of their toxicity and enrage them to continue their behavior because it reinforces their negative focus. Trying to prove your innocence, sincerity, or worth to someone who is determined to misunderstand or find fault with you is futile; they have already made up their minds. Instead, their goal is to draw you into a reactive state that feeds their damaged aura. Simply put, they are trying to steal your energy.

The Most Powerful Ways To Respond

Most of the time, the spiritually powerful approach is simply not to respond, not to take the bait. Saying nothing is often the best response because it denies others the power to influence your mood or energy. Follow the ancient wisdom of the great teachers, prophets, and avatars of many spiritual traditions: always choose your battles very carefully!

If you must respond, it is best to have others who are supportive respond on your behalf. These allies often have a calmer, less personally invested approach and can counter the negativity with positive, meaningful messages, rather than you trying to do it yourself with a defensive energy that will only drain your vitality and further empower the troll in question.

Engaging in negative exchanges is exhausting and often pointless. It takes considerable energy, lowers our vibration and distracts us from the positive aspects of life. This negative focus pulls us away from feelings of joy, gratitude, and connection to higher energies. Instead of reacting to drama, we have the choice to channel our energy into positivity, nurturing the things that uplift us and those around us.

A compassionate alternative to reacting to negativity is to send healing energy or pray for those who are exhibiting toxic or hurtful behavior. Instead of feeding their negativity with a response, offering positive intentions or blessings can help transform the energy between you. Visualize sending them light, peace, or love, or simply hold them in your thoughts with a sincere wish for their healing and happiness. This act of compassion doesn’t condone their behavior; rather, it recognizes that much of their negativity comes from their own pain, fears, or insecurities. By directing healing energy in their direction, we shift the focus from reactive conflict to proactive kindness, which helps us maintain our own peace and higher vibration while contributing to the possibility of their positive growth.

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a-holes ~ William Gibson

Maintain Your Inner Peace

Your inner peace is always more important than the chaos others may try to create around you. Choose to keep this drama outside of you and not allow it to seep into your mind or emotions. You may think of yourself as impervious, not absorbing negativity, but letting it pass you by. Those who create drama often want you to be upset or angry because that response gives them a sense of control. Instead, respond by cultivating peace within yourself.

When you feel emotionally balanced, negativity has less of an effect. Balance your energy by focusing on positive actions, such as supporting a charity, volunteering, or sharing uplifting messages. This approach raises your vibration and encourages others to rise to a higher frequency instead of being pulled into negativity.

You’re likely to feel happier when you prioritize what’s going on within you over what’s going on with others. Maintaining inner peace helps shield you from external drama. When you focus on strengthening your spirit, negativity will have less of an impact on your state of mind.

Also, avoid participating in gossip, as most of it is exaggerated or untrue anyway. Participating in negative talk about others opens the door for similar energy to come your way. By choosing to disengage, we can create space for positive influences to grow. It takes strength to disengage, but in doing so we demonstrate integrity and grace – qualities that resonate with those who are more evolved or spiritually attuned. When we refrain from feeding drama, we become like a solid, grounded tree in the face of strong winds. Choosing not to react conveys an undeniable sense of inner strength and self-empowerment.

Choosing Higher Consciousness

There are different levels or states of consciousness on this planet. When we choose to remain rooted in a higher vibrational state of peace, joy and love, we naturally distance ourselves from those who choose to dwell in negativity and drama.

Remember, you can’t control what others do, but you have complete authority over how you respond. Choose whether you’re going to let their negativity affect you. Ask yourself, “Do I want to continue a karmic connection with this person?” By breaking the cycle and not engaging, you take back your power and reclaim your energy.

Choose to be a source of positivity. Take back your power by focusing your attention on growth, peace and kindness. Remember, where your attention goes, energy flows. By breaking these patterns and fostering a positive inner life, you reduce karmic attachments and help raise the collective consciousness. Let your actions and focus reflect the higher energy you wish to cultivate, and soon you’ll find yourself surrounded by more of that same energy.