self-compassion
Grief Is A Sacred Gift Of Soul Experience
Long ago, I yearned for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life. And the door opened. It led me within.
Now, I long for a deep wound to be healed, and again I feel the door opening. I am prepared for the changes that come each time the door opens, and welcome them with profound gratitude.
I’ve come to understand that these “doors” don’t always show up looking bright and shiny and obviously spiritual. Sometimes they arrive disguised as heartbreak, loss, and the kind of grief that knocks the breath right out of your body. It doesn’t feel like a doorway then. It feels like a wall. A dead end. A great, echoing “Why?”
Last year had been a particularly difficult time for me. So much grief! Layers of it. Old grief that I thought I had already handled. New grief that came out of nowhere. Grief that didn’t even seem to have a clear name or story attached to it. I just had waves of sadness and loneliness that would rise up and spill over when I least expected it.
All part of the process, of course. But when you’re actually in it, that is not always comforting. I remember wondering, sometimes out loud:
When will I get back into the universal flow again?
When will the spiritual things I need for my Journey manifest?
When will this heaviness lift?
I wasn’t asking in a demanding way, more like a child pressing her face against the window, looking out at life, feeling like everyone else was moving forward while I was sitting in slow motion. My faith never left, but it got very, very quiet.
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them.
Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself.
Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance.
Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’
I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.
He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.
After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.
The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?
Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?
Be The Light That Darkness Cannot Touch
The nightmare continues every day. The very thing we fear the most has come to look us right in the face, staring in our eyes. This little imp taps us on the shoulder, reminding us of all the stupid things we did, all the hurtful things, how we messed up, time after time.
We messed up time again, no one agrees with us, we are reminded that “they” are so much smarter, did things exactly right every time.
We are at a turning point. We can give up, turn, run for the hills to hide, but still there is the demon of fear lingering around the deep recesses of our mind.
Surely this little devil of fear tells us we can see how we don’t deserve to reach our dreams, or accomplish our goals.
Stand back! Truly look at everything from all sides. Become like an eagle, or an owl, or a hawk, with eyes that see far beyond the surface where the heart lies.
Try to be kind and loving. Put your mind in the thoughts of being kind, being positive, no matter how much doing so lays open our heart for others to stomp on, even though many others will think you have lost your mind.
When we try with all our hearts to do something toward our dream, with love, with pure knowledge, we are listening to spirit. Then we gain strength, we gain courage, we pass over the top of the highest mountain to reach the other side. Let this outlook enlighten your heart, mind and soul toward a new attitude, for a new beginning.
The Empath’s Sacred Gift Of Compassion
Being an empath is more than just having a high sensitivity to the suffering of others. It is also the sacred gift of compassion. Empaths do not only perceive other people’s pain, but we also want to soothe, heal, and uplift them. These twin gifts of discernment and compassionate action are inseparable.
I have yet to meet an empath who doesn’t feel the calling to alleviate suffering in some way. In a world that so often feels cruel and chaotic, our tender hearts are now needed more than ever.
Compassion, both inward and outward, is a powerful force. It can transform relationships, heal roots of insecurity, and reshape the texture of our inner lives.
In leadership settings, compassionate responses consistently foster trust, deep connection, and lasting loyalty. Harsh reactions, on the other hand, often erect walls and breed resistance.
When someone feels seen, supported, and deeply cared for, their loyalty and dedication follow naturally. This principle applies not only in professional spheres but in every relationship we nurture.
I’ve come to see self-compassion as just as vital as the compassion we extend to others.
Empaths especially can be our own harshest critics. We measure ourselves against external standards and comparisons, often coming up short in our inner dialogue. But offering ourselves a warm, non-judgmental embrace opens new doors: to deeper confidence, heightened clarity, and a grounded sense of worth that doesn’t depend on outperforming someone else.
Navigating The Sacred Journey Of Grief
As a psychic medium, I have spent decades bearing witness to the immense and complex journey of grief.
Over the years, I’ve learned that grief has many faces and forms. It is not only about death and dying. It can arise from various types of loss, such as the loss of a pet, the end of a relationship, a change in life path, the loss of a job, or moving away from a beloved home.
My clients often tell me, “My heart has a hole in it,” or “It feels like my heart has been torn apart.”
These aren’t just metaphors. Grief can feel so intense that it seems like a physical injury — like a ‘heart attack’ of the soul. Grief reverberates through our heart, mind, body, and spirit, leaving no part of us untouched.
One of the most important truths I’ve learned is that grief is deeply personal. No two people experience it in the same way. There is no “normal” way to grieve or a fixed timeline.
Some people begin to feel a little lighter after a few weeks or months, while for others, the sorrow lingers for years or even decades. And that’s okay.
Grieving means you loved deeply, cared sincerely, and connected profoundly. It is not just about saying goodbye, but also about building a new relationship with their absence — one that carries forward the love in a different way.
The Divine Path Back To Unconditional Love
Recently, I was meditating on a deeply personal situation — one that stirred up waves of anger and resentment, even bordering on hatred and bitterness. Then I received an insight from spirit that stopped me in my tracks. It was one of those profound moments when time stands still and sacred truth illuminates your heart.
“Never forget the Golden Rule,” spirit said. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do not do to others what you do not want done to you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Suddenly I realized that the deeper truth of holding unconditional love in your heart. It’s a universal spiritual principle because it works both ways! You would never, ever want the same hatred or anger that you direct at others, to be directed at you.
Now let me be honest. My anger this time wasn’t just outward to others. It also turned inward. It was a growing dark, toxic presence in my heart and mind.
Life has been hard lately. Too many people I know have died far too young. Watching my beloved partner in a so-called “medical facility” that should not be allowed to take care of anyone, especially our elders. Almost losing him. Being emotionally and financially drained by someone I trusted. The exhausting noise of political chaos.
It has been one thing after another, piling up until I reached a boiling point. I began to ask the big, painful question: Why? Why all this suffering? Why now? Why me? And I wasn’t just angry at the world — I was angry at myself. Angry at Source, Spirit, God. Angry at the seeming cruelty of it all.