motherhood
Breaking Free From A Toxic Family Curse
Over the past year and a half, I have been working with a client who grew up in one of the most toxic families I have ever encountered in my work. It has been a long time since I have been so moved by a client’s tragic story and ancestral legacy. With her permission, I thought it might be helpful to share some of her experiences.
She was raised by an extremely narcissistic mother who manipulated and emotionally abused her for most of her life with belittling scapegoating and harsh criticism, until she finally managed to break free and set healing, healthy boundaries.
But once those long overdue boundaries were in place, she suddenly discovered that her siblings had taken it upon themselves to continue their mother’s toxic behavior toward her! While she thought she had finally found some peace in her life, and could safely confide in her siblings about her healing journey, she soon found out how wrong she was.
Until recently, she had openly shared her thoughts and feelings about her mother with her siblings. They, in turn, wholeheartedly agreed and confided that they felt the same way. As her younger siblings, they claimed to have endured similar abuse from their mother. No matter what they said or did, they were also constantly verbally attacked and criticized by her.
Meanwhile, none of her siblings claims were true. As the family scapegoat she was in fact the only one who endured all their mother’s abuse. I tried to caution her every time we did a reading, but she suffered betrayal blindness when it came to her siblings, in the same way she did for many years with her mom.
An End-Of-Life Mediumship Experience
I have been doing mediumship work for over 40 years, but recently I received an unusual request I have never had before. I was asked to do a phone reading for a long-time client whose mom who was terminally ill and in hospice intensive care. My client said her mom could no longer speak, and she felt the need to communicate with her before she passed.
I have never done a mediumship reading under these circumstances, but I could hardly refuse my client’s plea. So, I agreed, despite not being entirely confident about how it would unfold.
As soon as I started to tune in, I saw a vision in my mind’s eye of a man holding both her mother’s hands. I described the physical appearance of the two people I was seeing, and the daughter then confirmed that it was definitely her mom and her mom’s brother.
The mother was very relieved to be able to reassure her daughter, as well as her life-long best friend, who was also present in the hospice room at the time, that she was finally ready to transition and return to her spiritual home.
Then I saw three angels standing behind the mother. They wanted to reassure those present that her crossing would be safe and easy, and that she would no longer be in so much pain.
When I perceive angels during readings, they appear to me exactly how one might expect them to look in the traditional Christian art sense, complete with wings and a glowing aura. However, I never see them with recognizable facial features and I always feel their presence first, before I see them.
A Message From Grandmother Moon
The Moon is traditionally revered as a beloved relative by the Anishinaabe peoples, a large group of culturally-related indigenous people in the United States and Canada. She is known as Nookomis, or ‘My Grandmother.’ Throughout the ages the elders of Ojibwe, one of the largest tribes of the Anishinaabe, shared with younger generations the creation story of their people.
The legend begins with Manitou, the Great Spirit, who created the Universe by dreaming it into existence. Manitou then decided he wanted to create a special creature like himself who could also dream, imagine and create. But he could not accomplish this on his own. He needed the help of the divine feminine energy of Geezhigo-Quae, the Sky Woman.
So, he ascended to her in the sky and asked her to be the mother of his children. She agreed and came down to earth to give birth to twins on the back of a Great Turtle. She named the boy and the girl ‘Anishinaabe,’ meaning ‘human’ or ‘person’ born from the mind of the Creator.
Before she returned to her home in the sky, Manitou gave her a new name: Nookomis, the Great Mother of the Anishinaabe. Grandmother Moon now lives in the sky world as a nurturing, protective energy watching over her many grandchildren by providing light and reassurance in the darkest of nights.
During my meditation today, I received a message from Grandmother Moon, which I am to carry forward myself this year and share with others who also wish to embrace her guidance. The message I am to share is simply this:
The Spiritual Practice Of Flower Power
Every now and again, I purchase a bouquet of flowers as a gift to myself. Placing a vase of flowers on your home altar or sacred space adds nature-inspired ambiance, brightness, and sensuality to one’s spiritual self-care.
I also love to diffuse the essential oils of flowers, especially when I meditate, but they don’t have the tangibility and energetic beauty of a stunning array of fresh blooms. Analogous to eating whole food versus taking a supplement, fresh flowers represent the wholeness, divine design, and awe-inspiring beauty of Gaia, Mother Nature, our Earth Mother, the Divine Feminine.
Unadulterated, the ‘flower power’ of a beautiful bouquet commands marvelous healing energies, blesses the giver, and inspires bountiful gratitude in the recipient.
The most powerful spiritual practice involving flowers is to plant your own flower garden with perennial varieties, such as tulips, black-eyed susans, and chrysanthemums. With careful planning around the seasonal calendar one can also have different species in bloom at different times throughout the entire year.
Cultivating a thriving garden of flowers is a magnificent form of energy work. It attracts and manifests emotional healing, abundance, and the fulfillment of wishes, especially in aspects of romance, marriage, fertility, and parenthood. By lovingly nurturing and caring for the delicate beauty of living flowers, we invite much love, beauty and abundance into our lives.
Is Your History Repeating Itself?
Are you feeling stuck making all the wrong choices and decisions? Are you repeating the same make mistakes? A study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences analyzed the processes that occur before the human brain makes a decision. In this study, participants were asked to press a button with their left, or right hand. They were able to do this at whatever moment they decided, however, they were asked to remember the specific time they recognized making their decision and to relay that information to the researchers.
By observing the participant’s brain scanner, it was discovered that the researchers knew the participant’s decision seven seconds before the participant knew, based on observing electrical signals within the participant’s brain. This is important information, because it validates how much our subconscious minds are making decisions without us fully being aware of the choices we are making.
Although this research is based on making immediate decisions, how often are you aware of where their decisions are being based upon? How can you know if you’re making a decision based on old thought patterns and habits, rather than based on higher, conscious awareness?
The philosopher George Santayana famously said, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” While this is true on a global scale, this is also true in our personal relationships. My interests in psychology and consciousness originated from observing my family, their unhealthy patterns, and observing the resulting choices I’ve made myself, in response to those patterns.
Now Is The Time To Celebrate Life!
The time has come to recognize how far we have come and celebrate the sheer joy and privilege to be alive. Although Covid-19 is still around, and I personally know several people who are just now recovering from the illness, we are in a much better position now than a year or two ago. We have a lot to be grateful for as we start to work our way towards the future.
So, let’s celebrate! While still taking appropriate precautions, it is wonderful to be able to go out again, eat in restaurants and shop inside stores. A feeling of lightness is everywhere these days, with people really appreciating the ability to get back to some semblance of normal.
I see people smiling and laughing again while they are out and about, doing their daily errands, meeting friends, and attending functions and events. It seems even strangers are friendlier and more open to positive conversation and a more optimistic outlook nowadays. What a welcome change!
It is particularly satisfying to focus on and reconnect in person with the people who are important in our lives and make us feel happy. This year Mother’s Day was especially meaningful for many of us. It is always a beautiful opportunity to showcase the love for our mothers, both those who are still with us in this life, as well as those in spirit.
However, spirit impresses on me that honoring our mothers should happen more consistently than just one day per year. Each May, many of us resolve to show our love and respect all year through. So, how are we doing so far? Are we still honoring our mothers long after her special day is over?
A quick call, some surprise flowers, a little gift for ‘no reason’ are all lovely gestures that don’t take a lot of time or money, but can mean the world to mom, or stepmom, grandma or other maternal role-models who have touched our lives.
The Eternal Love Of A Mother
The nurturing energy of a mother is usually the emotional glue that keeps many families together. Whether it is their kindness, generosity, unconditional love or simply their joy and laughter, the mother-figures in our lives are often fundamental in helping us grow, expand, love and learn.
Many mothers must transcend what is possible to achieve the near impossible on an ongoing basis. Regardless of their circumstances, the impact of our mothers is deep and everlasting.
Perhaps it was your mother’s triumph over adversity that instilled a deep-rooted sense of perseverance in you. Perhaps it was by observing your grandmother’s social interactions that you learned how to function well in your community. There are many examples of how the mother-figures in our lives have nurtured and inspired us.
A mother’s unconditional love for her children is the most beautiful bond of love we may ever know. For this most of us should be eternally grateful. We are indeed privileged to have felt such loving care and protection.
For those of us who have lost our mothers, it is comforting to know that they continue to guide, guard and protect us in spirit, as we make our way through this life on Earth. Regardless of the turmoil we might endure, most of our mothers always come through with an amazing amount of love and care, both in this life and the next.
Our mothers can often also do more for us from the spirit realm, than they might have been able to do for us while they were here in this life. It is comforting to know that our mothers and grandmothers, including the mother-figures and nurturers in our extended family, are with us always, combining their earthly experience and newfound wisdom in spirit to impart to us even more than we could imagine while they were on the earth plane. Continue reading
