friends
Toxic Friendships: End It, Or Mend It?
Like all relationships, friendships have their ups and downs, testing the bonds that bind us together.
A true friend is someone who genuinely wants the best for you, celebrates your victories, and supports you through challenges. They offer encouragement, share your joys, and lend a sympathetic ear during difficult times.
The presence of true friends adds value to your life and fosters growth and positivity. You have a healthy friendship that thrives on mutual respect and care, where both parties feel uplifted and inspired to be their best selves.
In stark contrast, a toxic friend is often self-absorbed, putting their own needs and desires above all else. They manipulate situations to get what they want, with little regard for how their actions affect your happiness.
This type of friendship can feel draining, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning your self-worth. Instead of celebrating your achievements, a toxic friend may resort to jealousy or criticism, undermining your confidence.
Toxic friendships can deeply affect our emotional and mental well-being, often leaving us feeling drained and undervalued. These relationships are characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, and lack of support, creating an environment where one party consistently takes more than they give.
The dynamic can include jealousy, competition, or even emotional abuse, making it difficult to feel safe and authentic. Over time, toxic friendships can lead to diminished self-esteem and increased stress, underscoring the importance of recognizing and addressing these unhealthy connections.
What Comes First: Friendship Or Romance?
Is it really necessary to build a solid foundation of friendship when you already have a gut feeling that the person you just met might be “the one”?
This is a question I sometimes get from clients seeking a love or relationship reading. They want to know whether they should focus on building a friendship first if they feel that their relationship has the potential to lead to a long-term commitment or marriage.
The answer can vary depending on the people involved and the unique dynamics of their relationship.
While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, building a friendship can provide a stable foundation for the deeper layers of a romantic relationship. Friendship helps create a space where mutual respect, understanding, and shared values can flourish – qualities that are crucial to a lasting partnership.
I find many folks jump into a relationship with both feet, convinced they’ve found their true soulmate, only to be disappointed later.
Developing a strong friendship with your partner can be incredibly beneficial. It allows you to get to know each other on a deeper level without the pressure or distractions that often come with romantic and physical intimacy. In a friendship, you’re more likely to feel comfortable being your authentic self. This authenticity can lead to a stronger emotional connection, which can then become the foundation for a more serious romantic connection.
How To Deal With Toxic Drama Royalty
These days, there is drama, crazy-making and toxic behavior everywhere you turn. And it’s not just on social media and public transportation…many of us have to deal with people in our personal and professional lives who are overly demanding, entitled, melodramatic, mean-spirited, always in victim mode, or just plain unhinged.
Sadly, many of these spiritually handicapped souls are people close to us, people we care deeply about. It can be daunting to deal with their toxic actions and volatile behaviors, and trying to ignore them is exhausting and even impossible in the long run.
But other people’s dysfunction and drama doesn’t have to weigh down your spirit, and it doesn’t always have to be so difficult to deal with, especially with some spiritual support and backup.
The first rule to remember is that love works better than anything else. So, the first step should also be to offer the “drama royal” plenty of compassion.
Chances are the drama king or queen in your life is wounded in some way. Dysfunctional behavior and toxicity often stem from unresolved hurt or deep trauma.
Many people who exhibit dramatic or demanding tendencies often aren’t aware of how their behavior affects others. They may be caught in a cycle of emotional turmoil and, as a result, seek external validation through attention and theatricality. Rather than focusing on the label “drama,” it’s helpful to think of these behaviors as expressions of unresolved pain or unmet emotional or spiritual needs.
The Karmic Lessons Of Our Past Lives
Each lifetime offers us karmic lessons inherited from our past lives, often presenting what we perceive as hardship or misfortune, but are actually opportunities for soul growth.
These soul lessons are “karmic” because they were created or caused by our free will choices, decisions and actions in previous lives. They resurface in our current lifetime to be resolved, redeemed, released, and healed.
In ancient Sanskrit, karma (कर्म) literally means “action” or “deed.” It is derived from the root word kri, which means “to do” or “to act.”
According to many spiritual and philosophical tradition the essence of karma is that every action (physical, verbal, mental, spiritual) has consequences that reverberate through time and space and affect our present and future circumstances. Our actions in every lifetime create karmic ripples that influence the fabric of our existence, shaping our future life experiences and soul growth journey.
Karmic imprints are the energetic residues of our past actions, thoughts, and emotions that carry over from previous lives into our present existence. These imprints often manifest as recurring patterns, challenges, or opportunities in our current lifetime. The core principle is that our actions, thoughts, and emotions create a cause-and-effect relationship that extends beyond a single lifetime. Positive actions result in positive consequences, while negative actions result in negative consequences.
Karmic imprints are stored in the etheric energy field known as the Akashic Records, or Universal Consciousness, that records all human experience. When a soul reincarnates, it brings these imprints with it, influencing its experiences and choices in the current life.
The Mystery Of Soul Groups And Soul Contracts
In my work as a spiritual counselor to many people around the world, I have learned that we all belong to soul groups or families, and that each of us chooses to participate in our current lifetime in a certain way based on a pre-birth soul agreement or contract that we commit to before we come into this world.
I like to think of it as “auditioning for a play.’ Before we incarnate, we can choose to be in a comedy, a drama, an action, a horror, an epic adventure, or even a combination of all of these. We can also choose to take a central leading role, or just be a supporting cast member, or perhaps even a cameo or extra taking a background position.
What position are we willing and ready to take? This in itself can be a great karmic challenge as well as a profound learning experience. For example, if we have chosen a role that has caused grief or harm in a previous life, we will return in this life to try to resolve these latent karmic issues. If we are successful, it is wonderful because we can then pursue a completely different role or existence, or move on to something completely different in a future role.
Soul groups consist of a circle of souls with whom we have shared previous lives and are likely to meet in future lives. These groups are our spiritual families, and the members play different roles in each other’s lives through the process of soul evolution. We continually change roles in different lifetimes with other members of our soul group to facilitate learning and growth.
By interacting with these familiar souls from lifetime to lifetime, we create ongoing scenarios that karmically challenge us, assist us in our soul growth and evolution, and ultimately lead us to a state of spiritual fulfillment and enlightenment where our soul has transcended material limitations and reached its highest potential.
Never Confide In The ‘Empathy Impaired’
I recently did a reading for a client who asked me a question that I had never been asked before. Even though it was my first time working with her, her question made me ask myself the same question about my own life.
Her question was simple: Who can I confide in? Who can I trust? We then worked through her short list of significant people in her life and I shared what I felt about each of them with the guidance of spirit.
I immediately felt that two particular people were not the kind of people you would want to trust completely, much less confide in.
The first clear indicator was inconsistency in their words and actions. If someone frequently says one thing and does another, it suggests a lack of reliability and sincerity.
Another red flag that immediately came up was gossiping or speaking negatively about others behind their backs, as this behavior demonstrates a lack of confidentiality and respect.
But I always want to make sure that what I am psychically sensing is accurate before I reveal this kind of information. So, I asked her for her date of birth, along with the first names and dates of some of the people she wasn’t so sure about. Sure enough, she confirmed what I had initially seen.
Psychics and mediums often use “soul identity details” such as birth dates, photos, names, or even personal items like clothing or jewelry to enhance the connection with a particular person’s energy or spirit. I think of it as looking into someone’s “soul footprints.” This enhances the psychic connection process in several ways:
Mindful Connection In The Age Of Clocks And Screens
These days, we keep one eye on the clock and the other on our phone screen. It is stressful to always be on the go and in the know. Too often there is no time to relax and really enjoy the moment.
We have clearly lost sight of the things that really matter in life. We have become slaves to the clock.
These days we hardly notice or appreciate our friends and family. We are either preoccupied with our social media news feed or in such a hurry to get to our next destination. How often do we give a meaningful hug to those we love? We see more value in getting somewhere fast or getting something else done.
Can you remember the last time you gave a loved one a really good “squeeze”? Seriously! I mean a real, unhurried, sincere, meaningful hug? Have you ever received such a hug? Do you know what it feels like to get a real hug? It’s quite healing, affirming, and refreshing. What is that feeling? It’s love! And that is the true meaning of life, to give and receive love.
With the rise of digital technology and our increasing obsession with screen time and addiction to social media, many of us are not used to connecting in a personal, warm way. Some of us are not even capable of having a meaningful conversation these days. Ever since smartphones came on the scene, you see people everywhere with their heads down. If only they were busy praying! No, they are texting while their lunch partner is doing the same!