friends
The Empath’s Guide To Toxic Friendships
Our friends are a beautiful and enriching part of our lives. In some cases, they even become our chosen family through the bonds of mutual caring and shared life experiences.
Healthy friendships are built on a foundation of balance. They’re marked by mutual support, trust, loyalty, acceptance, and honesty, all with a touch of compassion. But for the empath or highly sensitive person, friendships can sometimes be a bit of a rollercoaster.
We might feel like we’re always giving and giving, and sometimes we might even feel drained. It can be hard to know when to draw the line with someone who might be taking advantage of our energy.
Friendships can be so many different things, and it’s important to remember that not all of them are the same. They range from casual acquaintances to deep, intimate bonds we form with those we call our “besties.”
It’s so important to have a close friend you can trust with your most private fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities. But, sadly, this isn’t always the reality. If you’re the kind of person who is sensitive to the feelings of others, you know how hard it can be when you’re betrayed or disappointed by someone close to you. It can feel like the saying “keep your enemies close” is true in these situations.
Some of us are more outgoing and have a large social circle, while others are more introverted and have a small social circle. Empaths can fall into either category. Regardless of which category an empath falls into, it is wise for us to exercise discernment.
Protect Your Energy From Toxic People
If you’ve ever felt emotionally drained, manipulated, or physically unwell after spending time with someone, know that you’re not alone. I do relationship readings for people stuck in toxic relationships, or dealing with energy vampires in their family or workplace, on a daily basis.
These relationships and people feed off your energy, often leaving you feeling depleted, anxious, or confused.
Why do so many people allow these people into their lives? Often, they simply have no choice. These toxic people may be family members, coworkers, in-laws, friends we’ve known for years, other relatives, or even life partners.
As a deeply empathic person myself, I understand the profound sensitivity that comes with feeling the energies around you.
Being surrounded by energy thieves can feel like standing in front of an emotional vacuum or caught inside a whirlwind of chaos. If you don’t prepare yourself energetically and spiritually before engaging with these types of individuals, your emotional and physical well-being will suffer.
It’s exhausting trying to maintain your peace in the presence of drama, manipulation, or constant criticism. Take for example family gatherings or in-law visits.
These moments can trigger a cascade of emotions due to clashing personalities, judgment, gossip, and unresolved history. It often feels like nothing you do is ever right, and it becomes a true test of inner strength.
Tell-Tale Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. Don’t be so sensitive. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. It was never my idea, it was yours! Come on, you’re imagining things. Everyone else agrees, except you. You’re just making things up.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you. It usually happens whenever you confront them about their bad behavior, only to have your reality twisted in return…in ways that can really make your head spin!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that most often shows up in toxic romantic relationships, but it can also manifest in dynamics with friends, coworkers, employers, family members, and even neighbors and landlords.
At its core, gaslighting is the manipulation of your sense of reality, leaving you confused, anxious, and doubting yourself and your own perceptions. Sometimes it’s very obvious and unmistakable. Other times, it happens so subtly you may not even realize you’re being manipulated.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, which was later made into the 1944 film of the same name.
In the story, a husband tricks his wealthy wife into thinking she’s going crazy by making small changes to their surroundings, like dimming the gas lights, and then denying that anything has changed. His goal is to make her doubt her own sanity, so he could have her committed to a mental institution and gain control of her inheritance.
Are You Holding On To The Wrong Person?
Many of the questions that callers ask me during readings have one thing in common: how another person is affecting the their health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Despite the differences in the details, the underlying story is often the same: the person’s inner light is dimmed because they have been giving too much power to another person’s choices, moods, or shortcomings.
Many people seem to be in the wrong relationships. They hold on, waiting for things to change and hoping for the best. They postpone plans, silence their own needs and preferences, and test the limits of their patience, believing that a breakthrough will come tomorrow.
However, that is usually not what happens. People do not change for another person, and if they do, it never lasts or works out in the long run. A change driven by the need to please someone else rarely survives the stress of real life. As soon as complications arise, old habits resurface. People can only change for themselves.
Spirit’s guidance on this is always very clear: hanging onto the wrong person — whether a friend, family member, spouse, partner, lover, or boss — prevents us from experiencing the best life has to offer.
When we’re busy monitoring someone else’s actions, we have less capacity for our own personal and spiritual growth. This prevents the amazing blessings waiting for us from coming in, not because the universe is ‘stingy,’ but because our time and attention are fully booked.
Finding True Purpose In The Unity Of Love
There is a profound truth about life that many people don’t fully grasp until they reach the end of their journey.
Our true purpose in this life not about success, status, or the material things we accumulate. It’s about something far greater and more beautiful: love.
At the core of our existence is the simple yet powerful truth that we are all connected. That is why we must love unconditionally, share our gifts with the world, and show up for others with kindness, compassion, and authenticity.
Yet so often we get caught up in the pursuit of validation, accomplishment, and material success, only to realize – sometimes too late – that love is the greatest accomplishment of all.
Consider a drop of water falling into the ocean. Alone, it may seem small and separate. But the moment it merges with the vast ocean, it’s no longer just a drop-it becomes part of something infinite, part of every wave, every current, and every ripple.
That’s us. We are never really separate; we are all woven into the fabric of existence, flowing together in this great cosmic dance.
And when we live from love – when we choose to be present, to forgive, to uplift others – we become more than ourselves. We become a part of something timeless.
In the end, what matters most is not what we own or what we’ve accomplished, but the love we’ve given, the lives we’ve touched, and the hearts we’ve left a little warmer. Love is the thread that binds us all together, the force that carries us beyond this fleeting moment into eternity.
Your Future Child May Be Closer Than You Think
One of the most meaningful connections I have been able to make as a psychic since I was very young is that between a mother and the soul of her future child.
For example, I remember seeing a three year old child (for some reason I almost always envision them around that age) playing next to a sixteen year old classmate when I was still in high school.
Six months later, that classmate left school because she was pregnant. I remember chalking it up to mere coincidence. At that time, I was still coming to terms with my psychic abilities and often doubted them.
Over the years, however, it has happened so often that I no longer question it. I now know that I see unborn souls connecting and acclimating to the energy of their future mothers.
Interestingly, I have never seen this connection with fathers. Perhaps it is because the soul needs to align with the body and energy of the mother as the two will soon merge?
One experience that stands out is with one of my friends. Her husband had been married before and had a son from his first marriage, as well as a son with her. She desperately wanted another child, but he was adamant that they couldn’t afford it. He also believed he could only have boys and wasn’t interested in trying for another.
One night we went to a local play together. My friend is blonde, fair-skinned, and blue-eyed, while her husband has black hair, brown eyes, and dark skin. During the play, I suddenly saw a little girl playing on the carpet next to her. As soon as we had a chance to talk, I told her what I had seen.