Self-Care
Not A People Person, Or Pleaser, And That’s Okay!
I have had clients tell me that they feel something is wrong with them, because they don’t like to be around people. They prefer solitude.
Others feel disconnected when around people, or it makes them feel smothered. People make them feel drained, or they feel out of their element.
If you are someone that does not like to be around people, or feels a sense of disconnect when in large groups, or even just engaging with others, fear not! I have some very good news to share with you.
It is my hope and prayer that this information will help you to stop being so hard on yourself when it comes to your social preferences. You do not need to feel guilty for not wanting to slap on a “happy face” and pretend to be someone you are not.
There is nothing wrong with you in my opinion. There is a simple reason why you don’t enjoy being around other people so much. The reason is that you have been to this planet many times before and basically you have “been here done this,” as it were.
Okay, so you don’t feel like being around your fellow humans. What to do? Tell yourself this, “it is okay that I don’t want to engage with others.” Then tell yourself, “I love myself just the way I am and now see the beauty in me that I never did.
But instead of judging myself, or thinking there is something wrong with me, from this day forward I promise to allow myself to embrace the freedom of placing myself where I feel comfortable, and free, and at peace.” Continue reading
Staying Calm Is Often The Key To Inner Peace
Sometimes the emotional charge of something as simple as a misunderstood comment, or a statement taken out of context, can throw even the most level-headed person into a tailspin.
Developing a general demeanor of good humor can assist you in dealing with some of these most difficult, embarrassing or awkward situations encountered in life.
Everyone handles things differently, doing the best they can with the information they have at the time.
Although, generally, the goal is to come to a better understanding and reach common ground, sometimes this takes much more time, effort and compromise than expected.
Although it is important to resolve an issue and clear the air, if possible, it is equally important to put each issue into context. Years from the date of the affront, will the issue be remembered at all and, if so, will it have anywhere near the importance that it did at the time?
Certain issues will never be forgotten, however, they can often be forgiven for the sake of all parties involved.
Long after the dust has settled, though, some people are inclined to continue to ruminate and replay negative scenarios over and over again.
This only serves to feed the flames of injustice and keeps the anger front of mind, long after the offending party has moved on physically and/or emotionally. As a result, rehashing the past can seem to perpetuate an aura of general negativity in your life.
Grief Is A Sacred Gift Of Soul Experience
Long ago, I yearned for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life. And the door opened. It led me within.
Now, I long for a deep wound to be healed, and again I feel the door opening. I am prepared for the changes that come each time the door opens, and welcome them with profound gratitude.
I’ve come to understand that these “doors” don’t always show up looking bright and shiny and obviously spiritual. Sometimes they arrive disguised as heartbreak, loss, and the kind of grief that knocks the breath right out of your body. It doesn’t feel like a doorway then. It feels like a wall. A dead end. A great, echoing “Why?”
Last year had been a particularly difficult time for me. So much grief! Layers of it. Old grief that I thought I had already handled. New grief that came out of nowhere. Grief that didn’t even seem to have a clear name or story attached to it. I just had waves of sadness and loneliness that would rise up and spill over when I least expected it.
All part of the process, of course. But when you’re actually in it, that is not always comforting. I remember wondering, sometimes out loud:
When will I get back into the universal flow again?
When will the spiritual things I need for my Journey manifest?
When will this heaviness lift?
I wasn’t asking in a demanding way, more like a child pressing her face against the window, looking out at life, feeling like everyone else was moving forward while I was sitting in slow motion. My faith never left, but it got very, very quiet.
The Hidden Blessing Of Dysfunctional Parents
For those of us who grew up with dysfunctional or abusive parents, the journey of healing is not a straight path. It twists and turns through shadows of anger, grief, and longing.
But, within this curse always lies a paradoxical hidden blessing or two. Even the most wounded parents can be our teachers and a source of inspiration, not because of what they gave us, but because of what they could not.
Yes, dysfunctional and abusive parents can be an inspiration. Not in the sentimental sense of gratitude for their suffering, but in the clear-eyed recognition that their brokenness became the rich soil in which your awareness grew.
A damaged parent can inspire you to live more consciously, to love with intention, and to stop the cycle of ancestral pain that shaped them and you.
They can inspire you to use their example as a guide for what not to do, what not to say, and who not to become.
Their absence of nurturing can ignite within you the sacred resolve to be present and compassionate. Their harshness can awaken your gentleness. Their coldness can teach you warmth. The rejection you endured can remind you daily to make every person you love feel safe, seen, and cherished!
Even if your parents were never healed, you can be. Even if they never awakened, you can awaken. Their story does not have to become your destiny. You can use their limitations as fuel to create something better, purer, and truer.
How To Deal With Energy Vampires And Psychic Bullies
Someone or something draining your energy? Most of the time it’s someone whom you are either trying to please, or get approval from, or someone you’re trying to help. You may begin to notice that something changes in your energy field each time you are around this person, or that you feel an imbalance of some sort afterwards. When I say being around a person, this can mean exposure to them through meeting in person, texting, talking over the phone, and even energetically, or psychically.
Energy bullies and psychic vampires are very good sucking the life force right out of you. Unfortunately, you may not notice this is happening, until after the fact. However, once you realize what has happened, identifying it is the first step to proactive healing, regeneration, and protection from allowing it to happen again.
Let’s have a closer look at what is actually taking place during an energy drain. Suppose you have a friend who is always complaining about her life, or often has a negative outlook on every situation she is involved in. This could also be a family member you meet for coffee, or whom you chat with over the phone regularly. And dealing with this person leaves you always energetically drained, deflated or emotionally unsettled.
I’d like to preface this with the fact that we all have times where we need to vent, or reach out for help when we are struggling with something. On the other hand, we also have moments where we need to be the voice of reason for someone else, or have an open mind and heart to listen and truly be there for the people we love and care about. Listening is so important in relationships, but if only one person is talking and one person is listening, over and over again, it is a drain on the listener.
Create Your Own Energy Cleansing Spray
Remember the last time you changed out a dirty air filter from your air-conditioning unit, vacuum cleaner, or your car? Remember how clogged with dust it was? In our living spaces, negative energies accumulate over time just like those ‘dust bunnies.’
Even though we can’t see these energies, there is a way to clear them on a regular basis. Think of it as the spiritual version of house cleaning.
Just as we’re drawn to refresh our surroundings with a good spring clean, our homes and sacred spaces crave energetic renewal, too.
Energies from arguments, stress, illness, or even just the daily grind can leave behind subtle residue. This energetic debris doesn’t vanish on its own. Left unchecked, it can affect your mood, your sleep, and even the flow of abundance into your life.
The first and most obvious step to take is to physically clean your space. Clutter and unwanted items work as repositories for negative energy, so it’s important to get rid of it.
After you’re done, imagine the space being deep-cleaned with an indigo or violet-colored flame. Use this as a silent meditation, and picture the flames consuming all that invisible ‘dust.’
And, just like your body or your car, your space can be cleansed and cleared of obstructions.
The easiest way to do this is to create a personal essential oil blend, which can be sprayed throughout your office and home. If made right, these smell wonderful, although their main purpose is for energy clearing and not aromatherapy.
Here’s what you’ll need to make your very own space-clearing spray blend. The ingredients can be purchased at an herbal supplies or natural products store.
The Emotional Imprints Of Past Lives
I once did a psychic reading for a lady who had a real fear of the ocean. Her fear extended to being a passenger in an aircraft flying high above the ocean, to being on the beachfront trying to relax to the sound of waves crashing along the shore-line. She had booked a session with me to see if we could discover the source of her deep-seated fear of the sea.
The answer to people’s emotional blocks often comes to me through imagery and sounds, which I receive in my mind’s eye.
In this client’s case, the answer came ‘crystal clear.’ I saw a vision of a sailing ship from the 1800s being thrown around in a terrible storm, and I knew right away, that it was a past incarnation from whence her fear of water stemmed.
She had, in fact been a sailor on that ship, which sank. She died at sea after being swept overboard during tumultuous weather conditions.
The actual cause of many relationship challenges or emotional problems can lie in trauma which went unresolved in a previous life.
Emotional wounds leave emotional imprints, which filter into our current emotional condition. Locating the root problem from past lifetimes can go far in freeing us to move forward, free from those shackles that keep us stuck.
Have you ever felt uneasy when meeting someone new, without even knowing anything about them? It’s my belief that one can be holding a memory of a shared past life, in which the soul essence of the person, with whom we are ill at ease, was someone who harmed us in some way in another lifetime.