self-sacrifice
The Self-Affirming Power Of Saying No
Are you the kind of person who has a hard time saying “no,” even when your heart isn’t in it?
Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing others, afraid they’ll distance themselves, or afraid they’ll stop liking you if you say no. Maybe your introverted side just wants to be liked and accepted by everyone, so you agree to things – even if it drains you.
I’ve experienced this myself and seen it happen to many people who come to me and ask, “How can I say no without feeling guilty?” or “If I don’t say yes, will I lose my connection with this person?
Saying “yes” out of fear, guilt, or obligation may be the easy way out in many situations, but it usually comes at a high cost to your personal and spiritual well-being.
Let’s acknowledge something important: You are enough just the way you are, and you are worthy of peace, joy and happiness. If someone truly values you, they’ll respect your boundaries, even if it means saying “no” once in a while.
On the other hand, if people cut you off because you set boundaries, they may not have been the healthiest presence in your life to begin with. True friends and meaningful relationships will respect your choices and understand your reasons without demanding constant explanations.
Over time, I’ve seen the toll that over-commitment takes. People who constantly say “yes” often end up feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even resentful. Some develop physical and mental health problems because they feel trapped by the constant need to please others. In some cases, burnout and depression set in, all because saying no felt like an impossible task.
Self-Charity Is Your Spiritual Responsibility
Charity truly begins at home. To be truly charitable to others, we must first be kind and generous to ourselves.
Whether we view “charity” as giving alms to the poor, showing kindness to strangers, or extending non-judgment in times of questionable behavior, it is imperative that we first take care of our own needs. Why? Because we cannot freely and easily give to others what we have not given to ourselves.
Our true nature as incarnated spirit beings is to be loving, kind, and giving. However, it is our spiritual duty to take care of ourselves first so that we can offer more to others and make a real difference in the world.
Self-charity, or prioritizing our own needs before helping others, involves several key components.
Self-awareness is critical, requiring regular self-reflection and mindfulness to stay in tune with our mental, emotional, and physical states. Prioritizing self-care through activities such as regular exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga is essential.
Mindful time management helps balance work, rest, and play, ensuring we don’t overcommit and have enough downtime to recharge.
Emotional management is essential and includes healthy ways to process and express emotions, such as journaling, talking to a trusted friend or therapist, or engaging in creative activities. Setting boundaries, learning to say no, and protecting our time, energy, and resources help us manage our lives effectively. Seeking support when needed, whether from friends, family, or professionals, ensures that we don’t carry burdens alone.
Learn To Say No To Toxic People!
Do you allow others to steal your energy with their drama and demands? If so, you may want to reconsider how you deal with them, because it is very unhealthy physically, mentally and spiritually to be around negative people and force yourself to do things you don’t want to do.
Protecting your energy field from toxic people and situations is more important than you may realize. They can have a profound effect on our overall well-being. Physically, the stress and negativity can lead to various health problems, such as elevated blood pressure, a weakened immune system, and disrupted sleep patterns. Chronic stress can also contribute to the development of more serious health conditions over time.
Emotionally, exposure to toxic people can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Overly demanding people tend to be self-centered, manipulative, abusive, and lacking in empathy. They disrespect emotional and physical boundaries and undermine your self-esteem. Constant exposure to such people can leave you feeling emotionally drained and manipulated, and undermine your confidence and sense of self-worth, affecting your emotional resilience and ability to cope with life’s challenges.
Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires
People have the power to either energize or drain us because we are all energetic spiritual beings in human form. This is especially true if you are highly sensitive and empathic.
Energy vampires are people who mostly unintentionally drain or ‘steal’ the energy of others, leaving everyone they interact with feeling mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually drained, even depressed.
Although they may not be intentionally malicious or evil, their dysfunctional personalities and toxic behavior patterns can have a detrimental effect on our health and well-being.
Energy thieves are everywhere, from the workplace to our social circles. Understanding their effects and protecting yourself from their toxicity is critical to mental and emotional well-being.
It is important to recognize the signs and patterns in your interactions with these people. There are many signs that you may be the victim of an energy vampire. Some of the most common indicators include feeling drained or exhausted, having a change in mood or energy level, or difficulty concentrating or making decisions after spending time with someone. You may also feel that you are always giving and never receiving from someone, or that you are being used or manipulated by them.
Learning To Honor My Higher Self
Have you ever had a conversation with someone that made you feel very uncomfortable, upset, even angry, to the point where you could feel their negative, toxic energy attaching to you? I certainly have, more times than I care to remember.
This feeling of extreme discomfort is usually a clear sign that the interaction you are having with this person is going against your higher self. Yet, even though we are aware of this on some level, we often fail to do what is right for our highest good and instead continue to interact with the energy thief in question to our own detriment.
Truth be told, I have been guilty of this myself many times. Only to face the aftermath of unhappiness and disappointment for not honoring my higher self.
I have recently become increasingly aware of this personal failing and have been actively working to identify my motives for putting and keeping myself in these situations.
I have come so far in my quest for increased self-awareness and spiritual growth that I am willing to explore and deal with the deepest corners of my soul-self. True enlightenment is not only about our brightest achievements, but also about our darkest inner shadows.
Is Their Kind Gesture Selfless Love?
I’m sure you know some wonderful people who just seem to do or say the right thing at the right time. It really makes you feel good to have friends who go out of their way to bring you some chicken noodle soup when they hear you’re not feeling well. Those friends are like jewels!
I love doing charity work. It makes my heart feel good to just give without wanting anything in return. It is always a great feeling to be able to do something good for another person. It makes me feel like I’m fulfilling my purpose in life to help others in any way I can.
It could be a kind word, or giving them some insight or answers to a question that can set them on the right path in life, or even knitting a scarf for children who don’t have anything warm to wear because their parents can’t afford it. It gives me a sense of happiness that you just can’t get any other way. It makes you feel connected to the source of all that is good and right in this world.
But I have also known people who do things just to get something in return. They will always remind you of this great deed they did just to get something from you. Or they will make you feel guilty for something they did for you. That is not a real friend.
I have also known people who will do things to get a free psychic reading, not realising how much time, energy and dedication it takes to do meaningful psychic work. There are times when I work too much and actually get sick from it. It drains me so much that I have to take a few days or even weeks off.