self-sabotage
In One Ear, And Out the Other
We have all had a frustrating conversation with someone that was just not listening at all. I call it ‘the lights are on, but nobody is home’ conversations. In my opinion the world would be a better place if we all communicate more clearly, sincerely, and kindly.
I have one friend with whom it is very easy to tell that she has checked out of a conversation. She gets that blank look in her eyes, vaguely staring into the distance, drifting off into her own thoughts. Then it becomes utterly pointless to continue the conversation with her, as I might as well be talking to myself.
One sure way to tell if a person has checked out of the conversation is when they keep checking their phone. How rude is that? What could possible be on that phone screen that is so much more important than a heartfelt, meaningful conversation with a friend?
During the pandemic, I did not see one of my best friends for more than two years. When we finally met up after all this time, she spent most of our time together checking her phone messages and scrolling her social media feeds. I guess I missed her company more, than she did mine.
Of course, we all ‘space out’ in conversation sometimes, but if it happens constantly then it may be time to find out why? One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is when people feel they are not being heard. Clear communication, sincere interest, and active listening are vital ingredients in a caring, supportive relationship.
Another important aspect in any conversation is our tone of voice. It is often not what we say, but how say it that matters most. It is always amazing to me when I hear someone talk to strangers in a manner and tone of voice that is much kinder and more sincere, than the tone they use with the people closest to them.
Spiritual Enlightenment Is Not A Fireworks Display
Many seekers desire spiritual fulfillment, or yearn for enlightenment, assuming it would instantly bring them wisdom, inner peace, and serenity. But instead, true spiritual growth is often delivered in challenging ways we never expected.
Increased spiritual growth often begins with life-altering events, unsettling discoveries, or distressing insights – such as realizing what has really been holding you back from attaining spiritual fulfilment. These learning curves can show up in many ways. For example, as an unexpected ending of a relationship, a health crisis, or the loss of a loved one.
Often, it shows up in the form of disruptive events that expose dysfunctional thought or behavior patterns that have been stifling your mental freedom, or a toxic mindset that has been hindering your ability to see clearly to break free from limiting beliefs and self-sabotage.
The term ‘spiritual enlightenment’ is used very loosely these days and has become a confusing concept to many people. The truth is that authentic spiritual enlightenment is actually not a very big deal. It is seldom the ‘fireworks display’ that our egos might want it to be.
Spiritual accomplishment is nothing to be prideful or boastful about. It is actually a very quiet process; inward and intimate. People who go through this process in an authentic way, report the experience as being a modest, intuitive alignment, rather than a dramatic breakthrough of profound elation.
Only once we have improved our intuitive alignment, are we subtly encouraged by spirit to not to stop there, but to muster up the courage to take further steps in our spiritual growth and evolution. We become increasingly self-aware and are able to assess what we may have done to contribute to the disappointments in our life, and how these dysfunctional patterns may have started.
Vulnerability Grows Your Abundance Garden
Vulnerability is a critical element that determines our ability to receive from the Universe. I often tell my clients we may have to break a few eggs to save the dozen. Without ever taking the risk of making ourselves vulnerable there can be now growth, no progress, no expansion, and no abundance. This means if we dare to make mistakes, we eventually gain the ability to help more people, than if we kept ourselves covered and rigidly in control of how others see us.
Imagine yourself carefully harvesting chicken eggs and preparing to bring them to a farmer’s market for sale. But then you set off with a restrictive, limiting, fearful strategy of clasping those eggs frantically under one arm…for fear of dropping them all on the ground.
“I’m in complete control,” you proudly claim. But are you really?
Consider how tired your shoulders and arms would soon become, and how long it will be before some of those precious eggs are either crushed or dropped.
In the end, we usually give up on the idea of taking our eggs to the market, for fear of not being able to successfully complete the journey. Instead, we store those eggs in the refrigerator in the hope of feeling strong enough or muster enough courage sometime in the future.
But all is not lost, and it is never too late. We can circle back to something that is unfinished at any time, even if we initially felt we bit off more than we could chew. The Divine Feminine energy often works this way. Roundabout, yet sincere about eventually finishing the journey. She is thoughtful enough to improve herself and return with renewed vigor to what she started.
So, find it within yourself to return to that fridge and retrieve those stored eggs with renewed courage. Then once again set out to bring them to market. This time, you may just find it more manageable, and you may just make it all the way. There you may just be welcomed with open arms at the market…this time with all your eggs intact and everyone keen to purchase them!
Healing Your Inner Dialogue
Most of us talk to ourselves when we are alone, In fact, research findings on this phenomenon dates back as far as the 1880’s, concluding it is a common, normal behavior. However, doing it when others are around is probably less common, but if it makes you happy…go for it!
As spirit beings we all have an inner dialogue going on, pretty much at all times. At times we are highly conscious of it, but mostly it is like a white noise that punctuates the rest of our never-ending thoughts.
But what is this inner dialogue about? What is it saying to you? And what do you believe about the things you hear in this internal conversation? Have you ever stopped to ask yourself these questions? Do you ever pay proper attention to how you’re engaging in this most intimate conversation?
Our thoughts are energy signals that ultimately become our reality. Therefore, our internal dialogue creates the lens through which we are manifesting our daily reality experience. How we think about and interpret our experiences and emotions, what we believe and pay attention to, determines what we are busy creating for our tomorrow.
So, ask yourself right now: are you mostly kind to yourself? Are you optimistic about your life and the future? I often work with clients who are struggling with a negative view of themselves or a deeply pessimistic view of their reality. If this is you, then it is vital that you make some change to self-talk habits and self-sabotaging thought patterns.
Shifting from a negative mindset and pessimistic self-talk, to a place of empowerment requires determination and focused attention. Doing so can supercharge your ability to manifest a state of flow with Universal abundance.
The Self-Fulfilling Fear Of A ‘Bad Luck Curse’
Some folks who consult with reputable psychics for the first time sometimes believe that the many unfortunate things that have been happening to them is due to some ‘family curse’ or ‘bad luck hex.’ While it may indeed seem like certain people and their families do have more than their fair share of ill-fated things happen to them, sometimes through several generations, this kind of superstition is usually just an overreaction to challenging life events, and too often merely an excuse to avoid personal responsibility for one’s own choices.
An famous example of a so-called family curse is the Kennedy family, who suffered a series of bizarre accidents, premature deaths, assassinations, and various other setbacks and calamities, including several ill-fated romantic relationships that all started out great, but then took a turn for the worse and ended in tragedy and disaster.
Whenever I read for a client who believes they are somehow ‘cursed,’ I always advise them that blaming a so-called ‘curse’ for the challenges and adversities in their life will never solve their problems, nor help them create a better life in the future.
Sometimes people are not ready and open to take an honest look at their own part in creating certain life events through their free will choices and decisions. When a relationship ends badly, for example, it is so much easier and convenient to simply imagine, “Oh, well I am probably cursed in the love department.” Meanwhile, the red flags for this relationship were waving high and bright since the very beginning, but they so desperately wanted a relationship that they ignored the early warning signs.
If we would only listen to our gut, and to the people who truly care about us, we will more often experience the blessing of good fortune, instead of ‘bad luck.’ Spirit always warns us early on when we are making bad life choices and heading for disaster. Some of these messages come courtesy of our intuition and inner guidance, some are revealed to us in dreams, signs, synchronicities and psychic readings, and some warnings reach us through our friends and relatives. Sadly, some people blame everything instead on ‘bad luck’ or ‘curses,’ as they would rather believe they have been cursed than take any personal responsibility by accepting they made a poor choices or decisions.
Silencing Your Inner Critic
I recently did a reading for a distressed lady, who informed me that she almost felt like she has a “ghost or demon” inside her.
“It taunts me,” she said, “and is negative about everything I say and do.”
I reassured her that she only has a glorious, powerful, bright soul inside her, like everyone else. What she has been ‘hearing’ is simply her inner critic – that part of herself that is always negative about life that she had developed at a very young age due to a difficult childhood.
I advised her that it was time for her to silence ther inner critic, and upon reflection she agreed to work towards this goal. It took several months of guidance and hard work, but today she is a much happier person due to taking the necessary action to silence the little voice inside that had been preventing her from living life to her fullest potential.
We all have such an inner critic, some more than others. But how do we silence it? In my experience, there are several effective ways to achieve this.
Become Aware Of Your Thoughts
Pay careful attention to your preferred thought processes. Often, negative self-talk and toxic thoughts stems from unwarranted insecurities. To silence your inner critic, actively note your everyday thoughts. Ask yourself what you can do to correct undeserved or ridiculous self-criticism and negative thinking. Then, take relevant action to transform your thought process towards a more positive, self-accepting mindset.
To effectively silence your inner critic, you must commit to talking to yourself more positively. You need to commit to using positive, empowering words. Creating personal affirmations and finding positive quotes are great ways of going about this. Doing so helps to silence the inner critic and boosts your self-confidence.
When Is He Going To Call?
Psychic readings are often requested because a caller is curious about a long-term, on-again-off-again relationship. There is usually a very strong emotional and spiritual bond between them, but limited and uncertain physical world connections.
This type of inconsistent relationship can be very taxing on an individual, both emotionally and energetically. It can be very damaging to self-esteem, confidence, and trust, and may eventually have an effect on other areas of your life, such as career and finances. As the energy of doubt seeps in, one’s well-being and functioning is negatively affected in many ways.
I often hear clients in these situations say, “If only he would call!” While it may feel as if the other person has all the power in the relationship, the truth is you always have the power to shift your vibration and impact your own reality. And you always have options. Take back your power.
The best practical approach, but one that is unfortunately used too frequently as a last resort, is to communicate a strong and clear boundary with the other person. It is necessary in this kind of situation to enter into a conversation with the other person about what you need and expect in a relationship. You do indeed deserve to have open, frequent, and honest communication in all of your relationships.
While this is a highly charged topic filled with emotional triggers, it is important to stay as neutral as possible when you do have that conversation. Avoid blaming the other person. If the person is unresponsive, or moves into blame or accusations, then these are important red flags to be aware of.
Next is important to turn the focus on you. Start to examine where limiting beliefs or self-doubt may have ‘gummed up’ the works. Where did the cascade of unworthiness and insecurity begin that is now being reflected back to you by this person’s neglectful behavior. Asking your angels for clarity, guidance and insight will provide a wonderful boost and frequent ‘ah-ha’ moments that will help you turn this pattern around.
