self-sabotage
Are You Erasing Your Blessings?
The unselfish gifts of our time, money, and resources as well as our labors of love bring us many blessings in this lifetime and the next.
When we are kind and generous to others, we are also showered with good fortune in return. We know this from the ‘golden rule’ of ‘do unto others’ found in many religions and spiritual traditions.
Buy I have read for many clients over the years who are kindhearted and loving people, but complain about their life being very difficult and deprived. They never have enough money, or they cannot find love, or health and well-being seem to evade them. “I am always helping others, but I get nothing in return,” they might say.
Why is this the case? Why are these generous, caring people not being blessed more often for their good deeds?
Well, my guides have made the spiritual cause of this very clear to me. It is my understanding that we do not only add items of charity and compassion to the list of entries on our ‘chalkboard,’ but we also delete or erase them!
You see, when we do a good deed, it gets added to our list of potential ‘return blessings.’ But, if we go around bragging about it, boasting, showing off, telling people how generous or kind we have been, those good deeds become nullified, neutralized, erased. It loses its metaphysical power and spiritual meaning. It can no longer bless us in return.
Hold Your Tongue To Protect Your Peace
Some people deal with unresolved pain in their lives, and that pain often shows up in their words. You can usually feel it right away. Their words can feel heavy, sharp, or draining, like they disrupt the energetic balance of a space.
In spiritual work, one of the first lessons one learns is that words carry vibration.
If you’re the kind of person who’s intuitive, empathic or highly sensitive, this kind of exposure can feel especially overwhelming, leaving you emotionally upset or energetically drained. This reaction isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s just your inner guidance that tells you when something’s off.
It’s important to be discerning on a spiritual path. You don’t have to respond to every person or comment. Not every interaction needs a response.
When someone’s speaking from a place of anger, fear, or unresolved issues, you’re totally allowed to take a step back and choose not to engage with it. Silence isn’t avoidance. It’s all about being mindful of your energy use and being spiritually mature.
Take a breath before you react. Bring your awareness into your body and ground yourself in the present moment. Try to respond with clarity instead of emotion. Meditation, prayer, or just taking some time for yourself can help you get in sync with your higher self instead of getting caught up in reactive patterns.
Tune Into The Guidance Of Your Emotions
I believe our emotions are an additional ‘sense’ we use as a means of interpreting our life experiences, in the same way the normal five senses enable us to perceive and understand the world around us. Our ‘emotional sense’ help us make decisions about our preferences all the time.
For example, I love chocolate. My sense of taste tells me that chocolate is for me! It’s a very clear and obvious signal from my taste buds to my brain. We receive and process stimuli all the time and our senses help us to ‘make sense’ of that input.
Your emotions are also giving you information about your preferences and if we listen and pay attention, we can gain a lot of guidance from it. Our emotions don’t just come from nowhere. They arise in direct response to stimuli or input, just like our senses do.
I have also heard emotions described as an internal guidance system, or our inner compass, which helps us decide what we want to create more of, and less of, in our life. We sometimes get confused though, because just like the other senses, we have different preferences.
For example, some people love coconut desserts, but I detest then. Not thanks, keep your coconut out of my chocolate! The thing is, I’m not confused about the fact that I don’t like coconut. I also don’t feel I have to change my preference because other people love coconut. And I also don’t force myself to eat it, just to make other people happy.
When one of our five physical senses tells us something we tend to listen, because it’s visceral. We feel it undeniably in the body. Emotions are no different!
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them.
Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself.
Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance.
Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
Yes, Fly Away, But Fly Towards Your Dreams!
There are many dreams in our hearts, in our heads, in our spirit that comes to us during our night dreams, during our day hopes. The universe gives us the dreams of our heart, so we will continue to strive toward these dreams.
Just when we think it is time to give up, spirit jumps in with a sign, a promise, a word, a touch of given hope, to keep the dream alive in our heart.
Time comes, time goes, like the ebb and tide of the ocean, that we wonder if we are ever going to reach the shore. Then suddenly, there is the land, we can see the shore line the horizon, the dream’s reality right there in our face ready to come to us with happiness.
Where there is hope, there is faith. Where there is faith, there is love. We, are not meant to be alone. We are meant to have loves, to have partners, to have friends, people around us. These are dreams given to us by spirit so that someday our prince or princess will come without the frogs.
There are times we all want to fly away. There are times, especially as we start getting older, looking at our past, thinking of all the dreams we had, things we wanted to do, that somehow life just passed us by. This is why many people these days are making “bucket lists“.
Interesting at the weird things we want to do when we are mid-50s which in our youth we were too afraid, or too insecure to do. Think about our youth, we were pretty naive, yet somehow all of us today, this very day, has to find a balance between our wisdom of reality, and the innocence of youth where all dreams are possible.
Your Spirit Guides Will Never Lead You Astray
“My guides must hate me! Why else would they lead me to things that cause me so much pain?” someone once said during a reading. “And where is my guardian angel when I need him?”
It was not the first time I’ve heard such sentiments from a distressed client. This kind of disappointment and frustration is not uncommon because it cuts to the heart of spiritual seeking.
It is certainly a valid concern. If angels, guides, and ancestors are meant to guide, support, and protect us, then why do they sometimes lead us to pain, heartache, and even trauma? Do they really have our backs, or are they inflicting suffering upon us for some strange reason?
I confess that there was a time in my own life when I also asked these kinds of questions.
But after years of working as a professional psychic and energy healer, as well as through my own spiritual growth journey, I’ve since come to a comforting conclusion. Our spirit helpers always operate from a place of divine wisdom, unconditional love and compassionate support.
Then why, you may ask, do bad things sometimes happen to good people? It’s simple, really. Any detour from our highest good does not occur because spirit somehow miscalculated, neglected, or misrepresented anything.
When we encounter trouble, it is usually our own doing, or something we co-created with others. Whatever the reason or cause, we alone are always the common denominator.
Below are a few examples of such self-inflicted calamities that I have repeatedly come across in my work, as well as how they differ from actual spirit guidance and divine intervention.
Everything You Need To Know About Soulmate Connections
Who is my soulmate?” It’s a question I often hear during psychic readings. Clients want to know if their current partner is “the one,” or when their soulmate will arrive.
Some people start relationships convinced they’ve met their soulmate, only to watch their supposed “forever love” walk away with someone else. Puzzled, they contact me, asking, “How could this happen if two souls were meant to be together?”
Too many people are left heartbroken and confused when a well-meaning relative or friend, or a misguided psychic lacking spiritual integrity, encourages or assures them that this person is definitely “the one.”
Wrongly believing that a love connection is fated can make the subsequent loss even more painful. Just because a connection feels intense or special doesn’t mean it’s destined to last forever. True soul connections serve a purpose, but that purpose isn’t always love, romance, or lifelong companionship.
Unscrupulous readers and people with poor judgment often misread situations and create false hope, causing lovestruck individuals to cling to relationships that were never meant to last—or even exist, for that matter.
So, what exactly is a soulmate? Spiritually speaking, a soulmate is someone with whom you share a profound pre-birth or past-life connection, or both. These people show up in our lives to help us evolve spiritually, often reestablishing old relationships for the purpose of healing and transformation.