bitterness
The Divine Path Back To Unconditional Love
Recently, I was meditating on a deeply personal situation — one that stirred up waves of anger and resentment, even bordering on hatred and bitterness. Then I received an insight from spirit that stopped me in my tracks. It was one of those profound moments when time stands still and sacred truth illuminates your heart.
“Never forget the Golden Rule,” spirit said. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do not do to others what you do not want done to you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Suddenly I realized that the deeper truth of holding unconditional love in your heart. It’s a universal spiritual principle because it works both ways! You would never, ever want the same hatred or anger that you direct at others, to be directed at you.
Now let me be honest. My anger this time wasn’t just outward to others. It also turned inward. It was a growing dark, toxic presence in my heart and mind.
Life has been hard lately. Too many people I know have died far too young. Watching my beloved partner in a so-called “medical facility” that should not be allowed to take care of anyone, especially our elders. Almost losing him. Being emotionally and financially drained by someone I trusted. The exhausting noise of political chaos.
It has been one thing after another, piling up until I reached a boiling point. I began to ask the big, painful question: Why? Why all this suffering? Why now? Why me? And I wasn’t just angry at the world — I was angry at myself. Angry at Source, Spirit, God. Angry at the seeming cruelty of it all.
Cutting The Toxic Cords That Bind Us
In every relationship – romantic, platonic, professional – there is a metaphysical cord of attachment that exhanges energy from one person to the other.
These energy cords can be thought of as WiFi signals, electrical circuits, or even surgical tubes that transfer mental, emotional, and spiritual energies between individuals. They are the invisible ties of love that keep us connected to our loved ones.
I remember reading an article years ago about the intense grief of famous American singer Dean Martin after the tragic death of his eldest son. His boy was a fighter pilot in the California Air National Guard and lost his life in a plane crash during a training flight in 1987.
Martin described the loss as feeling as if his “heart had been ripped out.” This vivid description is a testament to the reality of these ties that bind us. The intense pain the singer felt was essentially his heart chakra feeling ‘broken.’ The loss had a profound impact on the remainder of his life and career.
The concept of these cords may seem abstract, but their effects are very tangible. They are not just symbolic; they are very real and have a profound effect on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being on a daily basis.
When we engage in any kind of relationship with someone, these energetic cords extend from our chakras, or energy centers, to those of the other person. While these soul-to-soul cords feed us with all the good energies that come from being connected to others, such as love, nurturing, and belonging, they can also have the opposite effect.
Miracles Happen When We Release Attachment
We tend to hold on to things and people that no longer serve us. Fear keeps us attached, as does the comfort of the familiar.
The unknown can feel unsettling, even when we know deep down that letting go is the best way forward. Our attachments, whether to relationships, material possessions or past experiences, often come from emotional bonds that make letting go feel impossible.
Some people cling to relationships, even when they have been treated badly, because they do not believe they are worthy of anything better. Their self-worth is so wrapped up in the presence of the other person that the thought of leaving feels like losing a part of themselves.
Others cling to material possessions not because they need them, but because these things give them a false sense of security or define their identity in some way. The more we hold on to something, the more our energy becomes wrapped around it, creating an invisible barrier that prevents new blessings from entering our lives.
This was a hard lesson for me to learn and overcome. Years ago, I put my father’s house on the market. It had been on the market for over a year and not a single offer had come in. At first I couldn’t understand why. The house was structurally sound, in a good location and fairly priced. But despite my best efforts, no buyers came forward.
Later I realised that my own energy of resistance was preventing the sale. I was not emotionally or spiritually ready to let go. My attachment – rooted in resentment, anger and unresolved emotions – created an energetic blockage that kept potential buyers away.
Seeing The Spiritual Essence In Others
My world was turned upside down when my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. For seven agonizing months in 2005, I became his caregiver, managing the extreme emotional and physical toll of his illness.
Even the hospice staff, experienced in end-of-life care, commented at the time that my father was not an easy patient to care for. Their observation confirmed my own feelings on the matter and highlighted the unique challenges of the difficult karmic relationship I had with my father.
Throughout this stressful time, I held out hope for a miracle. I felt compelled to seek guidance, but unfortunately Spirit revealed a timeline of six to twelve months. This devastated me at the time, but I’ve since come to accept that arrivals and departures are part of every soul’s journey. Spirit was simply confirming a poignant truth: at some point we are all called home to the spirit realm.
Despite his resistance to any form of treatment, my father allowed a trusted colleague of mine, a master in his healing modality, to visit our home weekly for body alignment sessions. These sessions became a turning point — not only for my father, but for me as well.
During their second session, my healer friend shared an observation that struck a deep chord. He sensed an immense amount of bitterness and resentment in my father, energies he had perceived without any prior knowledge of my father’s emotional state or life history. He then offered me a piece of wisdom that changed the way I viewed not only my father, but all of my relationships: “Try to see only the true spiritual essence that is your father.”
Forgiveness Is Choosing To Take Back Your Power
Ah, forgiveness! Such a misunderstood concept. For many people, forgiveness, as noble as it may sound, is very difficult, even impossible.
Sometimes certain wrongs are so grave to us that the offender doesn’t deserve forgiveness in our eyes. There is also a misconception that forgiving someone is tantamount to excusing or justifying their terrible actions. But forgiveness is not about absolving someone of responsibility. Instead, it is a powerful, personal act of release and healing.
When we forgive someone, whether they’ve hurt us emotionally, betrayed our trust, or even caused us physical harm, we’re not letting them off the hook.
We are not condoning their actions or giving them permission to repeat those offenses. Rather, we are choosing to free ourselves from the weight of resentment, pain, and bitterness that binds us to them and their past actions.
Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It allows us to move forward without the burden of past grievances and with an open heart, free of resentment.
By forgiving, we determine for ourselves that the transgressor’s actions and the memory of their misdeeds will no longer hold us hostage or march with us into the future.
While we may not be responsible for what happened to us in the past, we are responsible for how we choose to carry the memory of it into the future. This is the power of forgiveness: it gives us the strength to embrace our present reality with clarity, compassion, and freedom. It also transforms our future, for it is ultimately a karmic choice that will shape our destiny in ways we will only understand much later in this life and beyond.
The Spiritual Power Of Choosing To Forgive
Forgiveness is a much-discussed topic in spiritual circles. It is also often deeply misunderstood.
Forgiveness does not mean condoning wrongdoing or accepting abuse or cruelty. Instead, it involves choosing not to carry the darkness and negativity that has been inflicted upon you, and refusing to allow it to affect your well-being, either physically or emotionally.
While it’s ideal to find compassion for those who have wronged you, it’s not always possible. Understand that those who caused you harm are often suffering themselves.
Happy and fulfilled people are naturally kind, generous, and honest. In contrast, those consumed by self-loathing and misery tend to spread chaos and cruelty. Their relationships are full of conflict and dissatisfaction.
I once worked with a man who was clearly struggling with mental illness. Circumstances placed us in a business relationship that I initially tried to avoid, preferring to distance myself from unhealthy situations. However, I was compelled to help him because I was told that my true role was to support his children and providing help where it was needed most.
This unfortunate man is consumed by rage from his own traumatic past-abuse by his mother, mistreatment by her successive husbands, and conflict with his first ex-wife. His life is a testament to the destructive power of unresolved anger and lack of forgiveness. His toxic energy is rooted in past hurts and a cycle of inflicting pain on others.
Coping With The Loss Of A Loved One
Many people I know, including myself and several of my clients, have experienced the loss of a child or grandchild.
Losing a grandparent or parent is heartbreaking, but losing a child is absolutely devastating! It is difficult to understand why someone so young is taken before they had a chance to live a full life.
A few years ago, I found some solace for my continuing grief from a very unexpected source.
I am an avid Nascar fan. If you don’t know what Nascar is, it is the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing. Stock car racing is one of the largest spectator sports in America.
A few years ago I watched an interview with one of the masters of this sport, Richard Petty, also known as “The King.” His words struck a deep chord with me.
Richard Petty’s grandson, Adam Petty, was also a racer like his grandfather. He was only 19 when he died in an accident on May 12, 2000 while practicing the sport he loved so much. His car hit the outside wall of the track, killing him instantly.
In the interview I watched, his grandfather spoke of his depression, guilt, grief, and not wanting to get out of bed because he felt he was somehow to blame for encouraging his grandson to pursue this sport that cost him his young life.