bitterness
The Ghosts Of Regret
As part of my training as a spiritual life coach, our class was asked to do a profound exercise. Our task was to imagine ourselves on our deathbed someday, being visited by a gathering of ghosts. We had to imagine these ‘ghosts’ from our past as being very bitter and angry, because they represented all the things we never achieved or succeeded in, coming back to haunt us. They were the ghosts of our unfulfilled goals and dreams returning to die along with us.
We were asked to then review our life and imagine what we would say to ourselves and our ‘ghosts,’ now that our life is over. What would we advise ourselves to do if we could go back in time, get a second chance, and somehow live our life anew?
For me, this was a very thought-provoking process. The first thought for me was my personal ‘bucket list’ of things I still want to experience in this lifetime. For example, I still want to travel on the Orient Express train with my family; see the view from The Shard (a 72-storey skyscraper in London); fly down The Grand Canyon; and witness the splendor of Niagara Falls.
There are many things I still hope to also do. But why have I not done at least some of it yet? Too busy earning a living? Yes, we all get busy, and most of us need to work. However, does this mean we cannot also lead a fuller life?
The next thought the deathbed exercise brought up for me was a sad memory from a few years ago, when my late brother was receiving rehabilitation treatment at a local hospital. We were very close as siblings. He confided in me one day, while we sat looking out the hospital window and saw a young family walking by, that he often feels intense regret and sadness when he sees people with their kids and grandkids, while he had no offspring of his own.
Old Baggage Is Not A Badge of Honor
I have successfully worked with many clients over the years who finally found me after they chose to hang onto anger, resentment, bitterness, or self-pity for many years, even decades, to their own detriment. Withe guidance of spirit, I have also helped many people find peace and healing, after they had pushed away everyone in their life away by continuously abusing the patience, compassion and generous support of their friends and family, by burdening them with same, sad story or repetitive dysfunctional behaviors, over and over again.
I have also witnessed the amazing personal growth and miraculous healing of those who were able to let go of the anger and hurts. And I have watched many thrive once they realize that their self-worth and personal power begin outside the comfort zone of their long-standing victim mentality.
I asked spirit for a message today to share with those that are stuck in this way and not moving forward in life. This is what I was given.
Do not dwell upon your pain, do not try to make yourself a martyr in suffering. Stop allowing the things that have hurt you to control where you are in the here and now.
It is time to boldly step up, stand your ground, and say, “I love myself and I am not going to let the past control my life any longer. I am stronger than all that has happened to me. And yes, it hurt me in the moment, but I refuse to drag it with me any longer further, because it prevents me from moving in the direction of my highest good. It poisons my well-being and steals my happiness, and I refuse to allow it any longer.”
The Happiness Trinity
When a new year arrives, it is common for us to look back and wish we had done better in the previous year. To make matters worse, the past three years have been exceptionally difficult for all of us. All the more reason for us to now make a determined decision to strive for greater happiness in the coming year. But how does one achieve happiness?
The true nature of happiness has been a topic of debate since the beginning of time. Does anyone really know what true happiness is? There are many opinions, views and theories on the matter, but I believe in the end one’s personal happiness is something only you can truly define or measure for yourself.
With that said, no matter what our personal idea of true happiness might be, it will always require the foundation of three key elements: wellness of body, mind and soul. Without an optimal trinity of physical, mental, and spiritual health, one cannot truly live your best life.
A happy life begins first and foremost with physical health and self-care. Our lifestyle habits define the quality of our life. Constantly indulging in the short-term pleasures of unhealthy lifestyle choices will not ensure a happy life in the long-term. Happy people eat nutritious food, get enough exercise, sleep well, manage their stress levels, and aim to maintain a sensible work-life balance.
A sense of being happy itself is one of the countless emotions we experience in life, and while it’s not possible to always feel happy, we can still choose how we respond to life’s challenges. Choosing to see a difficult situation as an opportunity rather than an obstacle, and choosing faith over fear, are common traits among many accomplished people.
Your Life Reflects Your Inner Being
Sometimes people have many issues with others in their life while they neglect to acknowledge that many of these problems are merely a mirror reflection of their inner being. This denial of personal responsibility is often the main cause of conflicts and drama in many people’s lives.
Everyone faces challenges in life. It is how these challenges are managed and released that gives one inner strength and peace. The answers are always within. But when we refuse to go within and face our inner truths, while instead venting our frustration, anger, envy, fear, and other pent-up negative emotions, it just brings so much more of the same crashing down on us.
That person you see with a huge smile on her face…her life is not necessarily all ‘sunshine and roses.’ Maybe she has just chosen to live with joy and gratitude in the present moment, instead of dwelling in the past or obsessing over the future. Maybe she has chosen to release that person or circumstance that had caused her pain or grief, and have chosen to move forward in her life with a knowing that bigger, better blessings are awaiting her on the other side of the pain.
The concept is simple, but the work is difficult. I am just as guilty of this human shortcoming as the next person. In my own life, I have also held onto things for so long that it stunted my spiritual, emotional, romantic, and financial growth. I held on to the resentment, bitterness, and vengeful thoughts, and it stunted me to the point that I found myself stuck in a very dark state of mind for a long, long time.
However, once I realized that both my psychic reading work and energy healing practice are absolutely dependent on clarity, love, compassion, and positive energy, I became determined to find ways to release the past and move forward, without any ill will towards another. Was it easy to find my way back to my inner truth and higher self? No, it was not. Was it worth the effort? Definitely!
Embrace Your Destiny
A client asked me once why we would choose to do certain things in our lives, knowing that a particular choice or decision will most likely turn out very badly in the end, especially when our intuition gives us negative vibes about it long in advance? Why do we not opt to prevent such negative events from happening in the first place?
Many years ago, I decided to get married, after dating my soulmate for four years. At first I told my special love that I did not want to get married. I did not understand at the time what was holding me back? However, I had a horrible premonition about getting married. I thought this was strange, since I dreamed about marrying since I was a child.
By his third proposal to me, I finally agreed to marry, even though my inner voice and senses were warning me of terrible events that will happen after the wedding. Sure enough, there was an accident with the bride and groom cake at our reception. But only the little groom’s head on the cake top fell off. Of course, I was far too happy to let this little incident bother me too much and ruin our special day. Our love for each other kept my thoughts positive.
About a week later, the photographer left our wedding picture proofs in my mailbox. Inside the envelope was a note explaining that she had unfortunately messed up some of our wedding pictures. After viewing the picture proofs, I noticed the groom’s head was cut off in some of the pictures. Accidents happen and things happen for a reason, but I chose not to acknowledge it at the time. Our love for each other kept my thoughts positive.
I did have an an ominous foreboding at that time, but chose not to focus on it. Our love for each other kept my thoughts positive, despite the premonition that those signs were preparing me for something that might be happening in the future. Seven months after our dream wedding, I fully understood what it meant, when my husband suddenly passed away due to a heart attack.
I can’t control my destiny, I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be. There’s only now, there’s only here. Give in to love or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today – Johnathan Larson
Now, I could have chose to remain depressed and bitter about it for the rest of my life, or I could choose to find the positive in a tragic turn of events. In the end, I let our love for each other keep my thoughts positive, and my outlook on the future hopeful and optimistic.
Would I have changed my destiny, even if I sensed something terrible may be heading my way? My answer to that is definitely no. To this day I believe our marriage was meant to be, and I still have many joyful memories of my late husband and our dream wedding. I accept that he was only meant to be in this world and in my life for a pre-destined period of time. His passing what no his or my choice; it was a matter of destiny and divine intervention.
Whatever the future may hold, you can change your negativity right now, by choosing to focus on the positive aspects of each and every situation. I had the best years of my life with my late husband and his spirit is what keeps me strong and happy. I also know that we will be reunited someday.
Live your life to the fullest every day and embrace your destiny, for better or worse, because everything happens for a reason.
The Trust Of A Broken Heart
Many years ago, I met a man at a social event and we hit it off right away. We became good friends. He was from a small town and worked as a long-haul truck driver.
He would sometimes pick me up to keep him company while he was running errands or we would just hang out. I also helped him with filing his taxes and other personal documentation. But as much as he trusted me with his money, he could not trust me with his heart. After a couple of years, our relationship became more intimate and physical. Yet, even then, the emotional commitment ‘wall’ was there.
He met his ex-wife while she was working at a truck stop in an even smaller town. They married and had a child. Everything was apparently ‘sunshine and rainbows’ for a while, until she decided to go back to work.
In time, he discovered that she had been cheating on him with several other men. He disclosed to me in a vulnerable moment one night that the worst part was that everyone in town they knew about it – except him. They lived in a small community, where everyone knows everybody’s business. He was understandably humiliated and heartbroken. His disappointment eventually turned into hatred and bitterness. Due to all the local gossip, he even had to quit his job, which also added to his anger.
Soon after this discovery, I went through a major upheaval in my own life, which led me to terminate all my relationships to focus on my family. Once I had my personal situation back on track, I tracked him down.
His response to my reaching out was to simply tell me that we no longer had anything to say to each other. Then he told me to take care and have a good life. He wasn’t very nice about it and there were even a few expletives in there, but whatever.
Learning The Lesson Is The Only Way Forward
Doing readings for people all over the world, I am asked ‘why’ questions every day. Why am I so unlucky? Why does nothing ever go right for me? Why is God punishing me? Why can’t I ever win in life? Why am I never successful and happy like everyone else?
Prior to coming to this earth plane, each of us asked to experience certain life challenges and lessons for our soul growth. For example, some of us asked for the lesson of unconditional love. However, to achieve unconditional love, someone must first cause us harm or hurt, for us to learn to truly forgive them. Only then can we truly experience unconditional love.
I have had many clients tell me over the years that they will never forgive someone for what they had done to them. They refuse to let it go. It is indeed a difficult lesson. In fact, all life lessons are very challenging. To make matters worse, if we do not successfully learn the lesson to complete the process, the same lesson will be presented to us again, and again, until we do.
This is why you someone will repeatedly have the same relationship issues with different partners. No matter who they form an attachment with, the complications, challenges and dramas are always more of the same. The spiritual growth lesson is never dealt with and released. Many people spend a lifetime in these never-ending loops.
Ask yourself what you want to see change or happen in your life. What do you consider to be the most positive, best outcome for your future? Then imagine for a moment that you have already achieved this life goal. Now, how does it feel to be in that positive place? If you can see yourself in that place and sense the love of your guides and angels in that place with you, then and only then, are you truly ready to move forward with the positive energy you need to actually achieve it.
