disappointment
What To Do When A Lost Love Lingers
Many of the readings I do are about love and relationships, and a good percentage of them are about past relationships that continue to linger in the hearts and minds of some callers.
For some people there are often constant, even obsessive thoughts about a former partner, a longing for a second chance, or bitterness and regret for time and energy that now seems wasted. The longer and more intense the relationship, the more battle scars and wounds there often are.
If it was a soulmate or twinflame connection, the aftermath can be especially devastating. The relationship has ended and the connection has been severed in this lifetime. This can be very painful. You know you gave it your all. You hung in there for years, or you made heroic efforts to ensure the survival of the relationship, but it did not work out as you had hoped.
If you are highly sensitive and intuitively aware, you may still be picking up the energy of your former partner, which can be very painful, disturbing and disruptive. Unresolved energetic connections can keep you stuck in a repetitive cycle of repeating the same pattern with that person, or put you on hold, unable to move forward in peace and confidence.
I am often asked, “Is it really over?” or “Does he still have feelings for me?” Of course, the answer depends on the unique circumstances.
Everything Happens For A Reason
Challenges, setbacks and disappointments are inevitable in life. Sometimes it can even feel like the entire universe is conspiring against us!
But this perspective is an illusion born of our human experience. Spirit doesn’t desire our failure or suffering. Instead, it seeks to lead us to joy, abundance, and fulfillment.
Many of us, however, fall into the habit of blaming God, Spirit, the Universe, or others for the hardships we face. But to truly grow, we must change this mindset. Instead of dwelling on blame, it’s important to examine the lessons hidden in each challenge. By asking why these situations arose and what we can learn from them, we transform pain into wisdom and setbacks into stepping stones.
Consider the heartache of losing a long-term partner. You may have built a life together – marriage, children, shared dreams – only to wake up one day to abandonment. Questions arise: Why did this happen? What could I have done differently?
It’s important to realize that in most cases these events are not your fault. Free will governs each person’s choices. While her decision to leave may hurt you deeply, it is a reflection of her own path, not your worth. Self-doubt often creeps in, especially for women, as thoughts of inadequacy arise. But self-esteem cannot come from others-it must come from within.
Instead of focusing on what you could have done, consider this: their departure may have been necessary for your growth. Spirit often removes people from our lives to make room for greater blessings. In hindsight, you may realize that staying with that person would have hindered your potential or delayed the arrival of something better.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Butterflies
My grandmother was a poet. When I was a child, she wrote a beautiful poem about me. It was about a fairy girl who spent all her time outside chasing butterflies. The poem had a poignant message:
In time, the pendulum swings,
and you can’t hear the butterfly’s wings.
It was her way of reminding me to hold on to my youthful passion, to nurture the light within, and to resist life’s inevitable disappointments.
This wisdom has stayed with me long after her passing, and in the years since, butterflies have become more than a reminder of her — they’ve become her messengers.
Butterflies often appear in my life when I’m feeling overwhelmed, under attack, or grieving a loss. They flutter around me, landing gently on my skin and hovering close as if to whisper a reminder: “Don’t let anyone steal your light.”
These delicate creatures have become symbols of resilience, hope, and the enduring connection between my grandmother’s spirit and my own.
Butterflies hold deep spiritual significance across cultures and belief systems. They are seen as symbols of transformation, freedom, and the soul’s journey.
Their life cycle — from caterpillar to cocoon to winged beauty — mirrors our own processes of growth, healing, and self-discovery. They teach us that even in our most confined and vulnerable states, there is the potential for magnificent change.
Start Living Your Best Life, Today!
Many years ago, my work took me to the lavishly decorated penthouse of a client who was a retired physician. I remember being in awe of the magnificent collection of books that lined the walls of his home.
“Your book collection is truly amazing,” I remember saying as I entered his beautiful home.
“Well, I worked very hard all my life, and one of my little pleasures outside of work was to buy all the books I felt inspired to read. Unfortunately, because I was always so busy and worked very long hours, I had put off reading most of them. But I constantly reminded myself that one day, when I retire, I would read all these wonderful books,” he said. “Unfortunately, it is too late for that now.”
It was too late…because he had tragically gone blind from an illness.
I will never forget that heartbreaking moment, standing in that lovely room lined with some of the most wonderful works of literature ever published. To this day, it reminds me of the importance of doing the things that bring us joy while we can.
The moral of the story is that although the blind doctor did wonderful things for his patients and the medical profession, he didn’t take much time for his own joy and fulfillment in the present moment.
This is why we need to live our lives in the now! Too often we put off our passions because we think there’s always time. But living fully in the present allows us to appreciate each moment, which fuels joy and fulfillment.
The Law Of Reverse Effect
I remember talking to a very distraught client a few years ago about a man with whom she had been having a secret affair for 24 years. It was a relationship she was very obsessed with and had stubbornly pursued for over two decades, despite many red flags and a great deal of frustration and disappointment along the way.
When this man finally got up the courage to divorce his wife, he left not only his wife, but also his mistress. Within three months, he was in a relationship with someone new and told my client that he never really felt that way about her anyway.
She wanted to know how this could be? She expected with 100% certainty that he would be with her and no one else after the divorce, but the exact opposite happened. After all, she had put a lot of time, effort, energy, love, and devotion into this secret relationship, not to mention all the stress, frustration and drama she had to endure for over two decades.
At the time, this tragic story made me think about some of the free will choices I have made in my own life. There have been times when I, too, have stubbornly expected things to turn out a certain way for me because I pursued it with vigor, only to be devastated when it did not. For example, many years ago, a guy I had a huge crush on and thought was really into me ended up hitting on my best friend while we were out on a date! I guess the moral of the story is to never pursue someone who is not really that into you.
The Transformative Power Of Vulnerability
I find that spirit wants to remind us that vulnerability offers us a special kind of magic in our lives. It is a theme that comes up regularly in psychic readings I do for my clients.
Vulnerability can transform lives, careers, relationships and families in profound ways. But for many of us, life has taught us that being vulnerable is a ‘weakness’ that puts us at risk.
Many of us have built walls around ourselves to protect ourselves because we feel we risk rejection, judgment, or failure if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The ego tells us it’s best not to take those risks at all!
Instead, we harden our hearts and keep our distance, choosing to figure out what others might think, feel or do before we are willing to put ourselves out there in any way.
But by shying away from being open, authentic, and transparent with our thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and desires, we actually block the very outcomes in life that we hope for.
So, how do you get more comfortable opening up and allowing yourself to be authentic and vulnerable? And how does that open you up to the very results you want to manifest in your life?
Spiritual Growth Without Judgment Or Guilt
I recently had a nasty fight with my ex-husband that was definitely not in line with the spiritual values and principles I teach my clients. Afterwards, I felt very defeated and disappointed in myself for not practicing what I preach.
But then Spirit whispered in my ear.
“It’s okay not to be perfect all the time. Sometimes you need to let the toxic air out of your human ego balloon.”
Upon further reflection, I was reminded that we are all spirit beings in human form, which automatically means we are limited and fallible. No one is perfect in this world.
After all, we have signed up for a very challenging physical adventure in this lifetime, which means we all have problems from time to time and we all make mistakes. That is how we learn and grow. In fact, one of the least spiritual things we can do is pretend we’re perfect.
Sometimes we need to let off steam by releasing pent-up negative energies that tend to build up in our auras as we navigate the ups and downs and many frustrations of our daily human existence. Yes, indeed, there are times when we need to go ahead and just beat the heck out of our ego piñata to get rid of some bad juju! When we release these unwanted energies, we detoxify our energy field to live a more abundant and fulfilling life.