disappointment
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Many years ago, my work took me to the lavishly decorated penthouse of a client who was a retired physician. I remember being in awe of the magnificent collection of books that lined the walls of his home.
“Your book collection is truly amazing,” I remember saying as I entered his beautiful home.
“Well, I worked very hard all my life, and one of my little pleasures outside of work was to buy all the books I felt inspired to read. Unfortunately, because I was always so busy and worked very long hours, I had put off reading most of them. But I constantly reminded myself that one day, when I retire, I would read all these wonderful books,” he said. “Unfortunately, it is too late for that now.”
It was too late…because he had tragically gone blind from an illness.
I will never forget that heartbreaking moment, standing in that lovely room lined with some of the most wonderful works of literature ever published. To this day, it reminds me of the importance of doing the things that bring us joy while we can.
The moral of the story is that although the blind doctor did wonderful things for his patients and the medical profession, he didn’t take much time for his own joy and fulfillment in the present moment.
This is why we need to live our lives in the now! Too often we put off our passions because we think there’s always time. But living fully in the present allows us to appreciate each moment, which fuels joy and fulfillment.
The Law Of Reverse Effect
I remember talking to a very distraught client a few years ago about a man with whom she had been having a secret affair for 24 years. It was a relationship she was very obsessed with and had stubbornly pursued for over two decades, despite many red flags and a great deal of frustration and disappointment along the way.
When this man finally got up the courage to divorce his wife, he left not only his wife, but also his mistress. Within three months, he was in a relationship with someone new and told my client that he never really felt that way about her anyway.
She wanted to know how this could be? She expected with 100% certainty that he would be with her and no one else after the divorce, but the exact opposite happened. After all, she had put a lot of time, effort, energy, love, and devotion into this secret relationship, not to mention all the stress, frustration and drama she had to endure for over two decades.
At the time, this tragic story made me think about some of the free will choices I have made in my own life. There have been times when I, too, have stubbornly expected things to turn out a certain way for me because I pursued it with vigor, only to be devastated when it did not. For example, many years ago, a guy I had a huge crush on and thought was really into me ended up hitting on my best friend while we were out on a date! I guess the moral of the story is to never pursue someone who is not really that into you.
Spiritual Growth Without Judgment Or Guilt
I recently had a nasty fight with my ex-husband that was definitely not in line with the spiritual values and principles I teach my clients. Afterwards, I felt very defeated and disappointed in myself for not practicing what I preach.
But then Spirit whispered in my ear.
“It’s okay not to be perfect all the time. Sometimes you need to let the toxic air out of your human ego balloon.”
Upon further reflection, I was reminded that we are all spirit beings in human form, which automatically means we are limited and fallible. No one is perfect in this world.
After all, we have signed up for a very challenging physical adventure in this lifetime, which means we all have problems from time to time and we all make mistakes. That is how we learn and grow. In fact, one of the least spiritual things we can do is pretend we’re perfect.
Sometimes we need to let off steam by releasing pent-up negative energies that tend to build up in our auras as we navigate the ups and downs and many frustrations of our daily human existence. Yes, indeed, there are times when we need to go ahead and just beat the heck out of our ego piñata to get rid of some bad juju! When we release these unwanted energies, we detoxify our energy field to live a more abundant and fulfilling life.
Spiritual Techniques For Emotional Closure
Spirit has taught me, from a very young age, that gaining closure with a person (where necessary of course) is imperative so that we can move on with our lives in a positive way.
After all, we cannot possibly embrace our future wholeheartedly without having effectively dealt with our past. There are three types of closure:
1. Natural closure that comes with the passage of time.
2. Direct closure that we may have with the person or persons involved and where love is concerned.
3. Third party closure when we meet someone else.
All well and good, you may be thinking, but it takes time to get that natural closure. Maybe your ex (or whoever) won’t give you direct closure and you don’t want to have to wait until you meet someone else in order to get it! But you do need a degree of closure now.
Well, spirit recognizes this and offers the two following solutions which may be of benefit to all those who need to gain closure on someone and find forgiveness, and start afresh in the shortest possible time:
Rebuild Your Trust In A Benevolent Universe
Have you ever watched a child learn to ride a bicycle? There is a certain excitement associated with this rite of passage as youngsters wholeheartedly embrace the possibility of being able to soon ride down the street without help.
The first time they get on a bike, they have no prior knowledge or experience to compare it to. Nevertheless, it is usually easy for most children to accept that they will be able to accomplish this task.
Most kids, in their innocence, focus on the joy, freedom and fulfillment of riding a bike rather than worrying about not being able to do it, let alone falling and getting hurt. They also don’t think in terms of good or bad ‘luck’ determining their ultimate success, nor do they imagine that riding a bike is a special gift, talent or privilege reserved only for certain people.
Perhaps this self-belief stems in part from an encouraging parent who has confidently assured the young person that they will indeed be able to achieve this skill. Perhaps the child has seen other children learn to do it and therefore trusts that they can do it, too.
The thing about children is not so much that they blindly or foolishly trust, but simply that, unlike most adults, they have not yet learned to distrust. Being able to trust as an adult is therefore not so much a matter of learning to trust, but of regaining the ability to trust that we once had, until we lost some or all of it through trauma, disappointment, betrayal, or hardship.