betrayal
When Communication Breaks Down In A Relationship
So often callers ask me why they have trouble communicating with their partner or spouse. There’s often some kind of miscommunication going on in many people’s relationships these days.
And these misunderstandings quickly snowball into something bigger if they’re not addressed early on.
When someone contacts me for a reading with this kind of question, I go in and do the work to get to the root of the problem. Superficial answers are never good enough when it comes to the people we love and care about.
Because let’s face it, love and relationships are vital to our happiness and sense of belonging, but they are rarely easy and straightforward. They are worth the effort when the connection is real.
The first thing I always check with this kind of reading is if there’s any infidelity or dishonesty. It’s uncomfortable and dangerous territory, but we always have to rule it out because it’s so common these days.
If one person isn’t being honest or cheating, it throws everything else off balance. There’s no point in doing deep relationship recovery and healing work if the foundation of trust and integrity is crumbling.
Once that’s clear, I tune in to see if there is what I call a “love cord” connection between the couple. This is my way of checking to see if their souls are karmically connected.
Cutting The Toxic Cords That Bind Us
In every relationship – romantic, platonic, professional – there is a metaphysical cord of attachment that exhanges energy from one person to the other.
These energy cords can be thought of as WiFi signals, electrical circuits, or even surgical tubes that transfer mental, emotional, and spiritual energies between individuals. They are the invisible ties of love that keep us connected to our loved ones.
I remember reading an article years ago about the intense grief of famous American singer Dean Martin after the tragic death of his eldest son. His boy was a fighter pilot in the California Air National Guard and lost his life in a plane crash during a training flight in 1987.
Martin described the loss as feeling as if his “heart had been ripped out.” This vivid description is a testament to the reality of these ties that bind us. The intense pain the singer felt was essentially his heart chakra feeling ‘broken.’ The loss had a profound impact on the remainder of his life and career.
The concept of these cords may seem abstract, but their effects are very tangible. They are not just symbolic; they are very real and have a profound effect on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being on a daily basis.
When we engage in any kind of relationship with someone, these energetic cords extend from our chakras, or energy centers, to those of the other person. While these soul-to-soul cords feed us with all the good energies that come from being connected to others, such as love, nurturing, and belonging, they can also have the opposite effect.
Find Your Peace In The Present Moment
A theme that comes up frequently in psychic readings is how people inadvertently choose to live in the past, finding comfort in nostalgia or reliving painful memories that keep them tied to an earlier time. The past is often romanticized — a seemingly simpler, happier place, free from the burdens of the present.
For those who had a happy and idyllic childhood, the past may seem like a golden era. They fondly recall carefree days filled with laughter, unconditional love, and the security of knowing that someone else was responsible for making the big decisions.
These people long for the innocence of childhood, the guidance of loving parents, the support of trusted mentors, and simpler times. It can be a source of comfort, but it can also prevent them from fully embracing the possibilities of the present.
For others, the past is a dark and painful landscape filled with trauma, regret, or missed opportunities.
Some people carry deep emotional wounds from their past. Perhaps they grew up in an environment of neglect, conflict, or abuse. Instead of a safe and nurturing childhood, they experienced hardship, pain, or betrayal.
Bad memories, deeply etched in the soul, can feel like an unshakable burden. Those who have suffered often relive their trauma, carrying resentment and anger toward those who wronged them. For these people, the past is not a place of comfort, but a source of suffering that continues to affect their daily lives. Continue reading
Never Confide In The ‘Empathy Impaired’
I recently did a reading for a client who asked me a question that I had never been asked before. Even though it was my first time working with her, her question made me ask myself the same question about my own life.
Her question was simple: Who can I confide in? Who can I trust? We then worked through her short list of significant people in her life and I shared what I felt about each of them with the guidance of spirit.
I immediately felt that two particular people were not the kind of people you would want to trust completely, much less confide in.
The first clear indicator was inconsistency in their words and actions. If someone frequently says one thing and does another, it suggests a lack of reliability and sincerity.
Another red flag that immediately came up was gossiping or speaking negatively about others behind their backs, as this behavior demonstrates a lack of confidentiality and respect.
But I always want to make sure that what I am psychically sensing is accurate before I reveal this kind of information. So, I asked her for her date of birth, along with the first names and dates of some of the people she wasn’t so sure about. Sure enough, she confirmed what I had initially seen.
Psychics and mediums often use “soul identity details” such as birth dates, photos, names, or even personal items like clothing or jewelry to enhance the connection with a particular person’s energy or spirit. I think of it as looking into someone’s “soul footprints.” This enhances the psychic connection process in several ways:
Embrace Your Personal Power In Relationships
Our relationships have great power and influence in our lives. In particular, many of us spend countless hours pursuing love and romance. Then, once we are in a relationship, we spend even more time and energy thinking about it, confiding in friends about it…often trying to make the relationship different or better.
I deal with this almost daily as I have counseled hundreds of lovesick, frustrated, and heartbroken clients over the years.
“If only he would do what I want, things would be different,” some of my clients might say. “If only he would be more open and honest, maybe I could trust him more.” Truth be told, I have heard similar words come out of my own mouth about my own relationships more times than I care to admit!
Unfortunately, instead of successfully influencing our partner’s words or behavior, we are often left feeling disappointed, betrayed, frustrated, powerless, or out of control. It is draining, pointless, and definitely not the best use of one’s time and energy.
So how do we change it? How do we take emotional control of our life and our relationships? The answer is shockingly simple.
It is all about taking a different, broader perspective on relationships and what they are here to teach us. A quote from Unity Church’s Daily Word magazine perfectly captures this shift in perspective: “Through our relationships with one another, we express the power, presence and love of God.”
Rebuild Your Trust In A Benevolent Universe
Have you ever watched a child learn to ride a bicycle? There is a certain excitement associated with this rite of passage as youngsters wholeheartedly embrace the possibility of being able to soon ride down the street without help.
The first time they get on a bike, they have no prior knowledge or experience to compare it to. Nevertheless, it is usually easy for most children to accept that they will be able to accomplish this task.
Most kids, in their innocence, focus on the joy, freedom and fulfillment of riding a bike rather than worrying about not being able to do it, let alone falling and getting hurt. They also don’t think in terms of good or bad ‘luck’ determining their ultimate success, nor do they imagine that riding a bike is a special gift, talent or privilege reserved only for certain people.
Perhaps this self-belief stems in part from an encouraging parent who has confidently assured the young person that they will indeed be able to achieve this skill. Perhaps the child has seen other children learn to do it and therefore trusts that they can do it, too.
The thing about children is not so much that they blindly or foolishly trust, but simply that, unlike most adults, they have not yet learned to distrust. Being able to trust as an adult is therefore not so much a matter of learning to trust, but of regaining the ability to trust that we once had, until we lost some or all of it through trauma, disappointment, betrayal, or hardship.
Friends For A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime
I recently reconnected with a family friend with whom I had a very close relationship about three decades ago. She was like a mother figure in some ways, even though she was only about 12 years older than me at the time.
She is a very caring and nurturing person and was always there for me when my own mother was physically or emotionally unable. Her door was always open and she always had many people around her. After working in retail for many years, she changed careers to become a full-time caregiver, which she loved. After she retired and her husband passed away, she continued to be very active and had a very vibrant social life.
But during the Covid-19 pandemic, like many people her age, she experienced intense isolation and trauma. We spoke frequently on the phone during this time, and she was very much looking forward to the restrictions finally being lifted.
However, when the worst was over and most restrictions were lifted, her group of friends remained afraid to go out. Some of them even developed agoraphobia, a type of anxiety disorder that causes people to experience extreme, irrational fear of public places and unpredictable situations that they imagine could cause them harm, panic, or helplessness.
My dear friend was deeply affected by this. Seeing all her friends again was one of the things that kept her strong and hopeful through the chaos of the pandemic. But now she felt she had lost her tribe (beyond her family, who all have busy, demanding lives of their own and live several hours away). Fortunately, she is a determined soul who will not easily accept defeat and apparently she is gradually getting more of the old gang together for their usual fun meet-ups!