compassion
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them.
Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself.
Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance.
Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
Maybe This Is How We Mend Our World
I have certainly been trespassed against over the years, as I suspect you may have too: maligned, misunderstood, abused, betrayed. Many of us have been hurt and wounded.
For many of us lifetimes of pain also seem to rise to the surface now, as if this era has come to collect on both the debts and the blessings.
Some of my wounds in this lifetime occurred at a young and tender age, when there seemed to be no healing granted; when the best I could do then was retreat and lick my wounds alone. There was no wise elder at my side, no sacred ceremony to mark the grief, no balm from the spirit realms. Just the aching silence of pain, and the quiet hope that one day, perhaps, I would understand why.
Since that time so long ago, I have also seen much vindication. This ability to witness what I have called “the coming around of the going around,” hasn’t been only in seeing karmic issues resolved for little slights, but for big wounds as well.
I’ve watched as Spirit, with its own perfect timing, allowed clarity and closure to emerge…sometimes years later, sometimes through unexpected channels. There is a strange and sacred justice to the Universe that rarely moves on our schedule, but always, always moves.
Justice. Yes, always in the end. But what of forgiveness?
It all shifted for me when I came to know the ‘big picture’ in the powerful prayer, “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass against us.” These words are not just religious rote, but an energetic key to spiritual evolution. Continue reading
Be The Light That Darkness Cannot Touch
The nightmare continues every day. The very thing we fear the most has come to look us right in the face, staring in our eyes. This little imp taps us on the shoulder, reminding us of all the stupid things we did, all the hurtful things, how we messed up, time after time.
We messed up time again, no one agrees with us, we are reminded that “they” are so much smarter, did things exactly right every time.
We are at a turning point. We can give up, turn, run for the hills to hide, but still there is the demon of fear lingering around the deep recesses of our mind.
Surely this little devil of fear tells us we can see how we don’t deserve to reach our dreams, or accomplish our goals.
Stand back! Truly look at everything from all sides. Become like an eagle, or an owl, or a hawk, with eyes that see far beyond the surface where the heart lies.
Try to be kind and loving. Put your mind in the thoughts of being kind, being positive, no matter how much doing so lays open our heart for others to stomp on, even though many others will think you have lost your mind.
When we try with all our hearts to do something toward our dream, with love, with pure knowledge, we are listening to spirit. Then we gain strength, we gain courage, we pass over the top of the highest mountain to reach the other side. Let this outlook enlighten your heart, mind and soul toward a new attitude, for a new beginning.
The Empath’s Sacred Gift Of Compassion
Being an empath is more than just having a high sensitivity to the suffering of others. It is also the sacred gift of compassion. Empaths do not only perceive other people’s pain, but we also want to soothe, heal, and uplift them. These twin gifts of discernment and compassionate action are inseparable.
I have yet to meet an empath who doesn’t feel the calling to alleviate suffering in some way. In a world that so often feels cruel and chaotic, our tender hearts are now needed more than ever.
Compassion, both inward and outward, is a powerful force. It can transform relationships, heal roots of insecurity, and reshape the texture of our inner lives.
In leadership settings, compassionate responses consistently foster trust, deep connection, and lasting loyalty. Harsh reactions, on the other hand, often erect walls and breed resistance.
When someone feels seen, supported, and deeply cared for, their loyalty and dedication follow naturally. This principle applies not only in professional spheres but in every relationship we nurture.
I’ve come to see self-compassion as just as vital as the compassion we extend to others.
Empaths especially can be our own harshest critics. We measure ourselves against external standards and comparisons, often coming up short in our inner dialogue. But offering ourselves a warm, non-judgmental embrace opens new doors: to deeper confidence, heightened clarity, and a grounded sense of worth that doesn’t depend on outperforming someone else.
False Education Appearing Real (F.E.A.R)
I love the acronym F.E.A.R. (False Education Appearing Real) since we all have people, circumstances, phobias and so forth, that can put us into that space.
Fear is an instance of emotion that is triggered by the awareness, or anticipation of danger. It can also become a state of being. Excluding clinical fears, needing professional help, there are many fears we simply impose upon ourselves as a result of life experiences.
One of my fears is acrophobia, the fear of heights. When I get within five feet from the edge of a rooftop, I begin to shake.
Climbing 30 foot ladders has me nervous and when I hiked to the pinnacle of the mountain of Macchu Picchu in 2004, I could not take those last six nervous steps onto the plateau pinnacle rock. This was partly being due to a few other tourists already sharing the rock… and I am a little “accident prone.”
Although I was invited by my partner and the guide, I leaned against the rock debating my fear, shaking a little at the prospect and wishing that I could take those final steps, as I might regret it after I hiked down. Part of me did regret not taking those last steps when we got back to the base.
Yet, a bigger part of me knew I had to acknowledge the feelings in the moment, and since I am not a regular exerciser, I already had accomplished something tremendous by taking the hike to the top and back down the back side of the mountain. On the way I enjoyed the magnificent views and spiritual energy for several hours. Continue reading

