truth
Tell-Tale Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. Don’t be so sensitive. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. It was never my idea, it was yours! Come on, you’re imagining things. Everyone else agrees, except you. You’re just making things up.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you. It usually happens whenever you confront them about their bad behavior, only to have your reality twisted in return…in ways that can really make your head spin!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that most often shows up in toxic romantic relationships, but it can also manifest in dynamics with friends, coworkers, employers, family members, and even neighbors and landlords.
At its core, gaslighting is the manipulation of your sense of reality, leaving you confused, anxious, and doubting yourself and your own perceptions. Sometimes it’s very obvious and unmistakable. Other times, it happens so subtly you may not even realize you’re being manipulated.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, which was later made into the 1944 film of the same name.
In the story, a husband tricks his wealthy wife into thinking she’s going crazy by making small changes to their surroundings, like dimming the gas lights, and then denying that anything has changed. His goal is to make her doubt her own sanity, so he could have her committed to a mental institution and gain control of her inheritance.
How To Access Your Inner Wisdom
How can you tap into your inner wisdom? How do you learn to trust your intuition? How can you better receive guidance from spirit? These are the kinds of deep, soul-searching questions that arise when you begin to awaken to your spiritual path.
As you journey to understand yourself and find healing, you’ll discover that the answers you seek are often within you. Your inner wisdom is a gift that you already have.
Your inner wisdom is a gift from God. It’s a part of you that connects you to the divine. It connects the spiritual world with your physical experience, helping you live life more clearly, gracefully, and with purpose.
Your intuition is always there. It gently nudges you, whispers insight, and provides subtle feelings or knowing that help guide your decisions. It often operates below your awareness, always humming in the background like soft music.
But in the busy world we live in, it’s easy to lose touch with that inner sense of direction. Stress, emotional pain, and the noise of external expectations can block your intuition. That’s why it’s so important to practice spirituality on purpose. Meditation, prayer, and moments of quiet are like keys that open the door to your soul’s wisdom.
If you take five minutes to sit quietly and listen to your thoughts, you will hear the voice of spirit more clearly. This voice doesn’t shout. It speaks with love, warmth, and strength. One of my spiritual mentors often said, “The voice of inner guidance is never harsh or fearful. It always brings peace, even when the message is challenging.”
Love, Lust, Or Infatuation? How To Tell The Difference
When you develop intense feelings for someone, it can be hard to tell if you’re experiencing lust, infatuation, or the beginning of genuine, lasting love. All three feelings can be powerful and overwhelming, but they are very different.
These energies often manifest similarly at first: your heart races, you get butterflies, you can’t eat or sleep, and you find yourself daydreaming constantly. Not to mention the dizzy excitement you feel when you see his name pop up on your phone!
However, love, lust, and infatuation are not the same from a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual perspective.
Infatuation can hit like lightning. One day, you’re going about your life, and the next, someone catches your eye. Suddenly, you can’t stop thinking about them. It feels exciting — like something big is happening, like fate.
Infatuation is highly emotional, and if left unchecked, it can become an unhealthy obsession with someone. You idealize them and ignore their flaws. Although it can feel a lot like love, it lacks depth and stability.
It’s easy to get caught up in the rush. But that high doesn’t always last. Infatuation can fade as quickly as it began, especially when you start to see the real person behind the sparkly image.
Often, infatuation appears when we’re in a state of desperation. Maybe we’re feeling lonely or want to be loved so badly that we project all our hopes onto someone else. We might think, “This person will complete me,” or “Everything will be better once we’re together.”
Align Your Mind With The Life You Desire
We attract into our life what we expect. When parents, friends, peers, and most importantly, your own self-talk tell you that you are not good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough, and you choose to believe it, then it becomes your reality.
Repeating these messages to your subconscious mind reinforces this belief until it ultimately manifests as reality in your life. The subconscious mind accepts everything it hears as true. It does not distinguish between what is objectively true and what has merely been repeated often enough.
Self-talk, whether supportive or filled with doubt, is internalized in the same way. The subconscious mind is like an eager child: receptive to all input, particularly messages received consistently and frequently. It listens and learns without judgment, simply absorbing and accepting.
This is why it can be so challenging to differentiate between genuine inner truth and a false belief formed from repeated external messages, such as television content, stories shared by others, or even our own inner dialogue.
For example, you might fall asleep while watching a joyful, lighthearted program. Then, a horrific war documentary comes on. Even though you are no longer consciously watching, your subconscious mind continues to absorb the information. Those unsettling images and emotions may then weave their way into your dreams, shaping new fears and anxieties despite their origin in fiction or someone else’s story.
Holding On To What Never Changes
Nature always inspires deep thoughts in me. There’s something about pausing to watch the wind rustle through the trees or to see the sun gently filter through the clouds that invites stillness and reflection.
Today, I found myself contemplating the constantly changing seasons. In the Northern Hemisphere, we are a month away from the summer solstice, and the days are becoming increasingly long and warm with golden light. The trees are lush and full, the air hums with the sound of insects, and gardens overflow with life.
Change is everywhere. It’s evident in the ripening of fruit, the intense afternoon heat, and the subtle shift in the season’s energy toward harvest.
It’s not just nature, either. Our lives are constantly evolving, too. Relationships shift, careers transition, health fluctuates, and dreams reshape themselves over time.
No matter where we turn, we hear messages such as “Change is inevitable,” and “Don’t be afraid of change.”
Yes, change is necessary. As spiritual beings, we are meant to continually grow and evolve. Change challenges us, stretches us, and teaches us.
But let’s be honest — sometimes it’s also deeply unsettling. This is especially true in times like these, when the world feels uncertain, divided, and fragile.
Embracing The Shadow Within
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
They Can’t Gaslight You If You Trust Your Gut!
Gaslighting can be a very destructive aspect of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of “reality twisting” or “crazy-making” that is designed to confuse or manipulate the victim.
Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship by making the victim question their reality. The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, at work, and with neighbors.
Sometimes it’s done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but more often it’s done under the radar, and you don’t always know who’s gaslighting you, or even that you’re being gaslighted.
“Gaslighting” is a psychological term derived from the 1938 stage play Gas Light and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations. The movie is about a husband’s attempts to systematically drive his wife crazy by repeatedly dimming the gas lights in their home, only to deny that it ever happened when the wife asks him if he also noticed it. Over time, he manipulates his wife to the point where she believes she is imagining things and loses her mind.
Gaslighting is a common manipulation technique used by dictators, con artists, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists, and cult leaders. It’s done in such a way that the victim rarely realizes how much they’ve actually been brainwashed.
At first, the victim may have the idea that they’re not imagining things, but that someone else is doing this to them. They may even have an intuition about who that person is. However, the goal of gaslighting is to get victims to doubt these rational thoughts and replace them completely with the belief that there is something wrong with them, either mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically. The worst part, in my opinion, is that it makes you doubt your own intuition.