kindness
How To Deal With Toxic Drama Royalty
These days, there is drama, crazy-making and toxic behavior everywhere you turn. And it’s not just on social media and public transportation…many of us have to deal with people in our personal and professional lives who are overly demanding, entitled, melodramatic, mean-spirited, always in victim mode, or just plain unhinged.
Sadly, many of these spiritually handicapped souls are people close to us, people we care deeply about. It can be daunting to deal with their toxic actions and volatile behaviors, and trying to ignore them is exhausting and even impossible in the long run.
But other people’s dysfunction and drama doesn’t have to weigh down your spirit, and it doesn’t always have to be so difficult to deal with, especially with some spiritual support and backup.
The first rule to remember is that love works better than anything else. So, the first step should also be to offer the “drama royal” plenty of compassion.
Chances are the drama king or queen in your life is wounded in some way. Dysfunctional behavior and toxicity often stem from unresolved hurt or deep trauma.
Many people who exhibit dramatic or demanding tendencies often aren’t aware of how their behavior affects others. They may be caught in a cycle of emotional turmoil and, as a result, seek external validation through attention and theatricality. Rather than focusing on the label “drama,” it’s helpful to think of these behaviors as expressions of unresolved pain or unmet emotional or spiritual needs.
Are You On The Karmic Path Of Grace?
Every step we take in life shapes not only how we feel, but also where we end up in life and how others respond to us.
Sayings such as “you reap what you sow,” “what goes around comes around,” and “your vibe attracts your tribe” represent the complex interplay between our choices and actions and the reality we experience each day.
This is known as the universal law of cause and effect, also known as the spiritual principle of karma. Every choice we make has consequences, whether seen or unseen. Every action we take – whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual – has a corresponding result or consequence.
Nothing in life happens by accident. Our values, beliefs, mindset and attitude all help to shape our life path and destiny. Our choices, behaviors, and even our thoughts have a ripple effect. Our free will choices ultimately determine our life journey and the legacy we will someday leave behind.
In essence, the energy or intent behind our actions affects the results we experience in life. Positive actions attract positive results, while negative actions can lead to challenges or difficulties. Over time, the cumulative effect of these causes and their consequences determines the course of our lives, affecting relationships, opportunities, and personal growth.
For this reason, it is essential that we be mindful of everything we say and do. We must cultivate self-awareness and take personal responsibility because every step we take affects our future and our destiny.
The Spiritual Power Of Choosing To Forgive
Forgiveness is a much-discussed topic in spiritual circles. It is also often deeply misunderstood.
Forgiveness does not mean condoning wrongdoing or accepting abuse or cruelty. Instead, it involves choosing not to carry the darkness and negativity that has been inflicted upon you, and refusing to allow it to affect your well-being, either physically or emotionally.
While it’s ideal to find compassion for those who have wronged you, it’s not always possible. Understand that those who caused you harm are often suffering themselves.
Happy and fulfilled people are naturally kind, generous, and honest. In contrast, those consumed by self-loathing and misery tend to spread chaos and cruelty. Their relationships are full of conflict and dissatisfaction.
I once worked with a man who was clearly struggling with mental illness. Circumstances placed us in a business relationship that I initially tried to avoid, preferring to distance myself from unhealthy situations. However, I was compelled to help him because I was told that my true role was to support his children and providing help where it was needed most.
This unfortunate man is consumed by rage from his own traumatic past-abuse by his mother, mistreatment by her successive husbands, and conflict with his first ex-wife. His life is a testament to the destructive power of unresolved anger and lack of forgiveness. His toxic energy is rooted in past hurts and a cycle of inflicting pain on others.
Thanks, Mom, For Teaching Me Love And Kindness
We all know people who have come in and out of our lives saying or doing just the right thing, at just the right time. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some of these wonderful messengers and wayshowers may stay in our lives, or leave just as quickly as they came.
I have had several experiences with such earth angels. When I think of ‘earth angels,’ I think of one person in particular: my mother. She taught me many things that have helped me so much in my life. In particular she taught me the fruits of the spirit by applying them in her own life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Children don’t do what adults say…they do what we do. Parents who are great role models and truly involved in their children’s lives raise kind adults, who in turn gift the same values to their own children. I was very fortunate to have a mother who didn’t leave me to fend for myself when I was growing up. She was very active in my life and taught me to be kind and courteous to everyone; to respect the elderly; and to always smile and be positive because we attract what we put out in the world.
My mother also made sure that we ate all our meals at the table until we left home as young adults. My husband pointed out once that when my mother calls us, she always asks how everyone is, not just me. She is very supportive and interested in how everyone is doing. I know a lot of people like her who would walk right up to you and give you a hug and ask you how you are.
Self-Charity Is Your Spiritual Responsibility
Charity truly begins at home. To be truly charitable to others, we must first be kind and generous to ourselves.
Whether we view “charity” as giving alms to the poor, showing kindness to strangers, or extending non-judgment in times of questionable behavior, it is imperative that we first take care of our own needs. Why? Because we cannot freely and easily give to others what we have not given to ourselves.
Our true nature as incarnated spirit beings is to be loving, kind, and giving. However, it is our spiritual duty to take care of ourselves first so that we can offer more to others and make a real difference in the world.
Self-charity, or prioritizing our own needs before helping others, involves several key components.
Self-awareness is critical, requiring regular self-reflection and mindfulness to stay in tune with our mental, emotional, and physical states. Prioritizing self-care through activities such as regular exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga is essential.
Mindful time management helps balance work, rest, and play, ensuring we don’t overcommit and have enough downtime to recharge.
Emotional management is essential and includes healthy ways to process and express emotions, such as journaling, talking to a trusted friend or therapist, or engaging in creative activities. Setting boundaries, learning to say no, and protecting our time, energy, and resources help us manage our lives effectively. Seeking support when needed, whether from friends, family, or professionals, ensures that we don’t carry burdens alone.