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Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
Energetic DNA
When I am reading for a client, and we are evaluating either a personal or a business relationship, I always ask for the first name of the individual or name of the business, as well as when the relationship began.
With this information I am able to see the client’s energy and then the separate, but very distinct energy, almost like a fingerprint, of the other people involved or attached to the client. The link becomes clear.
More importantly the strength of energetic pattern is revealed, and whether it is detrimental or constructive, supportive or invasive, positive or negative. I call this ‘energetic DNA.’
Positive energy left in our field enhances and strengthens us. It uplifts and encourages us, building our confidence, opening our minds and expanding our hearts. On the other hand negative energy does exactly the opposite.
When we are involved in any type of relationship, be it business or personal, family or friend, energetic DNA is always present. It is actively leaving a positive of negative mark on our energy field and can impact our daily lives in very powerful ways.
It’s extremely important to be aware of how the energetic DNA present in a relationship has affected us, or the future impact it may have. Love, family, money – these are all very important aspects of our lives. Who we bring into our hearts, our minds, or business can be the difference between happiness and heartbreak, peace or chaos, success or failure.
How To Maintain A Healthy Aura
The aura is an emanation surrounding the body of a living creature; it is viewed as the essence of the individual and discernible by people with special sensibilities. Although most children can see them, it’s getting them to tell you what they see that’s the problem, especially, if they don’t know their colors.
Auras have a spectrum of colors that can be photographed with special equipment. Most people believe that auras are intangible. They don’t realize that the health of one’s aura can easily be monitored and sustained healthily. Just as one monitors your blood pressure or insulin levels. Even though you can’t see your aura doesn’t mean it isn’t there. We can’t see radio waves or x-rays, yet we still know they exist. If you want to monitor the health of your aura you must rely on an aura reading by someone capable of seeing them. Fortunately, there are techniques we can use to maintain a healthy aura.
It is a misconception to think that an extended aura is a good thing. An overextended aura brings about many health problems. Aches, pains, insomnia to name a few. An overextended aura also can leave one vulnerable to negative energies. I was always taught that when someone drinks or uses drugs, it in a sense, blows big holes in ones aura. This allows these negative forces to attach themselves to you and work through you.
Have you ever lived with an alcoholic? Or know someone who is a drug addict? Have you ever noticed how they change when they are drinking or drunk? Certain drugs and alcohol lowers the inhibitions. Thus, allowing such entities to take control. Ever notice, when someone is under the influence, their voice changes and often times, so does the color of their eyes. They become violent or abusive. They may become promiscuous, while normally they are more reserved.
Remember To Reach Out This Holiday Season
The holidays have been different these past two years. We are normally accustomed to planning big get-togethers, buying many gifts, preparing lots of food and finally gathering with family and friends. In the past, these gatherings were a given, whenever feasible, and both small and large get-togethers were marked with fun, laughter, music, food and festivities.
But a global pandemic has been curtailing our carefully laid plans and we had to be to be innovative to stay connected with our loved ones. Some people live in areas with very little impact. Others are in hot spots. Regardless of your own current situation, it is important to include people safely, to whatever level you can under the circumstances.
Please remember to touch a few lonely hearts this time of year, even if it is just by way of a quick phone call or text message. If there are people you know who live alone or are unable to join their usual groups to celebrate, do whatever you can to reach out to them and make them feel included in the celebrations. Connect virtually, send a parcel or invite them to a future event to look forward to.
Extend your reach to those less fortunate as well. This time of year can be particularly difficult for those in need. Contribute to a charity, or reach out to a volunteer group and offer your services. A willing pair of helping hands is always appreciated.
Amid all the chaos and excitement of the season, also take some time to be good to yourself. We tend to run ourselves ragged, while it just isn’t possible to keep going at maximum speed without a well-deserved break. It is important to remember that we cannot give what we ourselves do not have. Your career or business will always be there. Recharge your batteries so you will be rested, confident, and energized to help others.
The Gift Of Kindness
I was thinking today of the many beautiful acts of kindness people have shown me since my husband passed away last year. And then, some song lyrics from the movie, The Sound of Music, came to mind:
Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good.
Yes, perhaps I did some good somewhere in my life, and now I am getting some of it back, tenfold, or more!
There was a period of time, after his sudden death, when it felt as if I was carried by the locals here in Spain. I was pretty much told what to do and not just offered help. For example, when I got the news of his passing from the policeman who answered his phone at the car crash scene, I immediately went on ‘autopilot’ and attempted to cancel a coffee date I had with one of my best friends. But she simply said, “I am coming, you aren’t going alone to the scene. I am going with you!” And then she saw to everything. I was unable to speak in any language at that point, and fortunately she took over.
Christmas and New Year followed, and again my friend told me, in no uncertain terms: you are going to be with me and my family during this period. I began finding reasons and excuses as to why I might not be able to get to their home, including a possibility of snow, which had us housebound for a few days a couple of years prior. But, they were having none of that. My friend’s husband said, “My tractor will reach you whatever the weather!”
Post-death paperwork is messy in a foreign country. Red tape and bureaucracy can be a nightmare in Spain, if there is no last will and testament! Once again, I was given months of unconditional help by friends and neighbors, as we went from one government department to another to sort out complications. Even the lawyers assisting with the car insurance policy, which went above and beyond their pro bono role in the arrangements. They would accept no further payment, but were delighted when I gifted them each some Doreen Virtue angel cards in Spanish.
Dealing With Negative Energy This Holiday Season
What do you do when you have to go to a family holiday gathering you have dreaded all year? What is supposed to be a positive, happy reunion this time of the year is often a negative, argumentative and energetically draining occasion!
I know from experience that diverse personalities show up to these types of gatherings and over the years I have learned to keep quiet, and smile, and muster through it. I have helped several of my clients lately find solutions to deal with these challenging situation.
There was the uncle that swears around the children who my client is trying to raise in a loving, Christian environment. I have also helped a client find out why her sisters-in-law and mother-in-law constantly gossip about her behind her back. I have helped bring light to a client’s ongoing problems with her siblings’ argumentative nature.
I want you to know that the choice is yours if you choose to deal with these people. Remember you always have free will, even in the most dire circumstances. You don’t have to be around family members who steal your energy and drop their poison of negative energy and comments on you.
It’s unhealthy to put yourself in situations that are uncomfortable, especially when the environment is saturated with dis-ease. Sometimes you have to exercise your right to say: “No thank you, I will pass!” If you do this, you will find you have more energy for those that do treat you well and don’t talk about you behind your back.
Also, do not allow yourself to feel guilty that your not going to attend. Make positive changes this holiday season by saying no to unnecessary stress, negative people and toxic energy. Embrace your own assertiveness for the betterment of your health and mental well-being.
Dealing With ‘Unawakened’ Friends And Family
Spiritual awakening is a profound shift in our perception that forever alters the way we experience life. But after we have made the shift it can be difficult to relate to less spiritually aware friends and relatives and leave one feeling lonely and deeply isolated.
The following strategies can be helpful in cultivating more harmony between yourself and ‘unconscious’ people without compromising your own energy vibration.
COMPASSION AND EMPATHY
At one time you were also not awakened. Think back to what that was like. What kind of thoughts dominated your mind? How did you feel about your life? How did you feel in general? The truth is, although you’ve gone through a spiritual awakening, you can still relate to those who have not. You have a point of reference for this.
Someone who is unconscious typically doesn’t have a pleasant inner world, because they aren’t intentionally governing it. Think back to what your life and most importantly – your relationship with yourself and your mind – looked like before your awakening. What did your own resistance look like? At some point your perspective shifted. But prior to that point – how receptive were you to changing your views and ideas? Especially when a family member came to you and said, “Hey, you’re doing it wrong.”
Put yourself in their shoes. Now that you’ve awakened you have the pleasure to start putting it to use in a way that serves the highest and best good of all. Remember that every soul is a spiritual being, and just because you have awakened to this fact, does not make you ‘better than’ anyone else. This is a trap that the ego likes to throw up early, and often along the spiritual path.
The ego is something we must constantly be mindful of. You are not more spiritual because you are vegan, or because you meditate, or because you do Yoga. If you are living in judgment of others through these practices, you are trapped in ego. Be mindful of yourself and come back to a state of compassion and empathy. Allow people to awaken in their own time.