wounded healer
To Lie, To Live, To Believe
Our brains are naturally wired to recognize patterns, find connections between seemingly unrelated things, and draw analytical conclusions from our observations. We all use this ability every day without even knowing it.
It is a talent we inherited from our ancient ancestors. Professor Robert C. Barkman explains that “pattern recognition was key to the survival of our Neanderthal ancestors, allowing them to identify poisonous plants, distinguish predator from prey, and interpret celestial events. Today, pattern recognition plays new, but just as important roles in diagnosing diseases, inspiring new ways to safeguard data, and discovering new planets.”
This amazing ability is however seldom mentioned or considered in spiritual and metaphysical circles. But Spirit has over the years guided me towards greater spiritual insight and metaphysical understanding by taking me on interesting journeys of analysis and pattern recognition towards profound insights and relevations.
For example, while meditating during Easter a few weeks ago, my guides took me ‘down a rabbit hole’ on the decisive word believe. The first insight I discovered was that right in the middle of the word ‘believe’ there hides another, more disheartening little word: lie.
Of course, ‘believe’ is a good word. It is the cornerstone to faith and living a spiritually empowered life. But the hidden word ‘lie’ inside it reminds us that we must also have a living faith for it to be authentic and powerful. And, if you drop the letter ‘v’ into ‘lie,’ it becomes the word ‘live.’
The Empowering Symbolism Of The World Card
The World card in the Tarot remains one of my firm favorites. I am all for personal and spiritual growth, the completion of cycles, and new beginnings. The World represents exactly that: the ending of a cycle and pause in life, before the next major cycle begins with the fool.
The journey from the new beginnings of The Fool to the fulfilling endings of The World is a constant evolutionary process in our everyday lives that is represented by the sequence of the 22 Major Arcana cards of the Tarot. The World is the 22nd trump and therefore final card of the Major Arcana.
I have reflected on the imagery of the Rider-Waite version of this Tarot card in great detail. Rider-Waite is probably the most popular and universally recognized Tarot deck. The illustrations by Pamela Colman Smith at first glance appear simple, but the details and backgrounds feature abundant mystical symbolism.
The World pictures an empowered figure within a wreath – traditionally a symbol of victory, success, achievement, and eternal life. The figure holds a wand in each hand, which is reminiscent of the Magician card and the Two of Wands. However, while The Magician holds only one wand, the two wands in the The World card represents fulfillment, wholeness, balance and coming full circle.
The card is framed by four animals on the diagonal. The depiction of these four creatures parallels the four animal symbols used in Christian art to represent the four Evangelists, namely Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. The four animals also represent the zodiac signs of Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius, the four fixed signs in Western Astrology, which in turn represent the classical four elements of Earth, Fire, Water and Air.
The Loving Intent Of Distant Energy Healing
I am a member of a remote healing group in which all participants receive healing energy once a month. We all simply set the intention to receive the energy healing on an agreed upon date and time. Even when some of us forget about it, when we are asleep, for instance, the healing still takes place and works when the time comes.
I have been dealing with pain and discomfort due to a fall I suffered three years ago, and the energy healings give me some relief every month, at least for a few days. I still must use the parts of my body that were injured in my daily life, so unfortunately the original injuries have never been able to properly heal. However, the relief from pain, even if it is just a few days, is a blessing.
I also do long-distance energy healing for others. I usually do it anonymously for people who I see on social media struggling. I do not tell them I am doing it for them, because they don’t need to know for it to work.
In return, I get a ‘high’ feeling whenever I do energy work, because the energy passes though me – in through the crown chakra, through the heart chakra, and out through my arms, before passing on to another person.
So, how does energy healing work? Well, intent is energy. If our intention is to heal anyone that we feel connected to energetically, then the energy flows to the person. We don’t even need to know their name or see their face.
Overcoming Addiction To Work For Spirit
A recent talk I gave about my addiction recovery journey and my calling to work for spirit, became a wonderful full circle moment for me. It was very empowering to look back, reflect on my experiences and see how far I have ultimately come.
It also brought up early memories of moments in the past when the writing had already been clearly on the wall, so to speak. In retrospect, is it was very clear early on that overcoming addiction was going to be one of my major life lessons and a significant part of my spiritual path in this lifetime
I remember, for example, I had my astrological natal chart done by a gifted astrologer, who later became a mentor to me. I also had my first experiences of past life regression with him.
After carefully analyzing my chart, he told me that my calling was to do spiritual work and be a guide and healer. He then added that I would first have to rise above the challenges of addiction before I could fully immerse myself into working with spirit. How right he was!
I did not understand his prediction at the time. I was still sober at the time and my social use of alcohol was something I considered to be my ‘guilty little pleasure.’ In time, I even started calling it the ‘devil on my shoulder,’ but in no way did I feel I had a problem with alcohol, much less consider myself an addict.
I would often read tarot cards for myself in those days and, sure enough, no matter how many times I shuffled the deck and no matter how many different decks of Tarot I consulted, the Devil card would consistently appear. The true significance of this would become more evident as time went on.
Are You A Spiritual Conduit?
Imagine coming into a room and strangers start confessing their past discretions, talking about being molested, admitting to addictions they’ve never told another living soul about, all without even telling you their name. Imagine hearing someone confess to a crime, or admit that they think their sister’s boyfriend was the one to kill her. This is what the spiritual conduit experiences every day.
Conduits are very rare. It is a life of sacrifice. There is no long line on the other side for souls waiting to volunteer as a conduit. It is hard earned. It is a painful, yet rewarding life path, but the rewards only come in the afterlife. The conduit is not only psychic, so they can see the ugliest things one can see in souls, but it is also a very isolated existence.
What is a conduit? A conduit is a spiritual muse. Just the presence of a conduit in the room forces everyone’s issues to come up. A conduit’s energy brings out both the light and the dark in the people who are in their presence. The ‘student’ sees the best qualities in themselves; that which has been hidden, denied or suppressed. They also see their own childhood issues, abuse, addictions, impurities, disorders and dysfunctions.
Unfortunately, for the conduit, the anger and pain from all of the past that has been denied and supressed is often projected onto them as they become the authority figure, or the maternal and paternal figures who these issues originally stemmed from. The conduit is often the only one in the room, but there is also the ‘don’t kill the messenger’ force present in these moments.
Ravished By A Sacred Centaur
I have studied healing for many years. Since making a conscious decision to embark on my true life journey, I have experienced many powerful teachers. Much of my work has taken me into uncharted waters and I have learned to welcome diving deep.
As the world speeds up, I have slowed down over this last portion of my life, to recover from an illness that I thought might take my life. This process has brought me to waters so uncharted they seem otherworldly, and perhaps they are. Fortunately, I have fully re-entered the world I thought I might have to leave, and fully accept the entire experience as a blessing.
Over this time, I encountered Chiron, the original Wounded Healer. He is a centaur in Greek mythology who was gravely injured and had the opportunity to forever leave his battlefield for the Garden of the Gods. But he chose to stay on the battlefield instead of going to paradise, in order to assist others who were wounded.
I have known Chiron practically all my life, so having a rendezvous him at a major crossroads in my life was no surprise. What was however totally surprising, was that this time I finally fell in love with this benevolent being.
There were many times, especially this last time, when I ran from Chiron’s embrace. I needed to be back in the world I had left behind, where I am primarily committed to helping others. However, there is also a practical reality to deal with. Our modern world is not an easy place to thrive in. Many barely survive physically, mentally or emotionally.
There is also an unspoken, yet imposed maximum period of recovery from illness, much like the time allotted to grief in our culture – a brief period before we are expected to re-engage with the ‘normal’ world and get on with life. But both healing and grief are highly personal journeys, and how it uniquely unfolds for each person is not for others to dictate, prescribe or judge.
True Healing Begins With Holding Space
A work associate and friend recently offered me a free healing session, which he describes as ‘holding space.’ It involves the healer simply ‘being present’ and mindful in the moment with the client during a video call.
He explained the process beforehand and informed me that was going to simply talk and express myself, with no prompting from him. I gratefully accepted his kind offer.
I was not sure what to expect, but having studied various healing modalities myself over the years and being naturally curious about all aspects of spirituality and holistic health, I was open to the experience.
To begin he invited me to just relax and focus on my breathing. Once he senses that I was ready to proceed, he encouraged me to simply begin talking about whatever came to mind.
“Oh no,” I secretly thought, “what on earth will I talk about?”
Well, I soon discovered that it wasn’t difficult at all! I spontaneously began talking, and soon it was pretty much non-stop! I kicked off talking about my concerns for my aging pets, and then went on to other everyday worries and domestic matters. Eventually, I switched to my family history – specifically focusing on all the times I had felt invisible or let down by relatives.
About halfway through, I briefly hesitated and asked my friend if he was not maybe getting bored? But he assured me that he was perfectly fine, adding that this kind of work was very much a calling for him. He later explained that he has overcome several life challenges and tragedies himself over the years, and subsequent soul-searching, as well as further training in various holistic practices, ultimately led him to begin holding space for others.
