News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

dysfunctional behavior

The Soul Gold Of Dysfunctional Relationships

Click Here now FOR a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen I was younger, I actually searched for my birth certificate, just to see if I really was a member of my family! I’ve witnessed some close-knit and very loving families among my friends and acquaintances, which I admire and applaud. But not everyone is that fortunate. It seems some of us are thrown together in families we cannot help but wonder where we all fit in. For many of us our family and romantic relationships are complicated.

We typically grow up seeing perfect families on television and in the movies. We also observe them during summer vacations and winter holidays. But I have always preferred the exceptions to the rule, the alternative families, the dysfunctional, weird and wonderful family stories, because they portray real life with humor.

Growing up my family did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time. In our family there was much avoidance, secrets, Catholic school and the constant overhanging threat of being ‘sent to a nunnery.’ Role-models for how to build healthy, constructive I did not have. So, I had to figure it out on my own, making many mistakes along the way.

I have even attributed my sense of not belonging in my family to the planets: my Aquarius Sun sign and Sagittarius Rising sign. I assumed my tendency to be a bit of a star child, moving to the strange music in my own head, just needed its own space? Upon a closer look, as the years went by, my father and I had many similar traits, with some of my mother’s mixed in on the spectrum.

I was constantly searching for that next subject to study and different ways to escape through my imagination. I also closed down when people came too close and moved along as quickly as possible.

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Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)

Click Here NOW for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comReflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.

These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.

Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.

Fear

Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.

We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.

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The Real Truth About Finding Love

Click Here now FOR a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI have been doing psychic readings for almost 20 years now, and the one topic that seems to come up most consistently is romantic love. The main issue that comes up all too frequently in these readings is a confusion about what love really is, and how to find true love.

The first thing I need to point out here is that the idea of ‘finding love’ is completely off-base to begin with. The notion that love must be ‘found’ makes very little from a metaphysical and spiritual perspective, and it is often the main reason why some people find their romantic relationships so challenging.

To say that one must ‘find love’ implies that love is somehow missing, lost, or in hiding. It suggests that love is limited and scarce, and that the experience of love is hidden and very complicated to access. The truth is that love is a transcendent, limitless force, and there is only one love that we all have equal access to.  

This is another quandary that people have when they are looking to manifest romantic love in their life – they try to separate love into categories. Yes, there are different expressions of love, but in the end there is only one love. And everyone has access to it. Love is less about finding the ‘right circumstances’ and more about aligning with the vibe of love.

So, what is love? Is it ‘unconditional?’ In my view this is just another way of saying that love is limited. It also implies that there are two different forms of love – conditional and unconditional. This makes no sense, because there is only one love and this one love is always unconditional. Love is unconditional acceptance.  

In my experience, this is what most of us are really looking for: unconditional acceptance. We experience love when we unconditionally accept ourselves, others, and our circumstances.

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Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’

Click Here NOW for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhat a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.

Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”

I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.

In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.

Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.

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The Key To Healing Your Relationship

Click Here NOW for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comOur emotions and feelings are not always perceptions that originate within. Many are caused by external events or outer circumstances. For example, a motivational speech can lift you up, while a scolding can bring you down. So too can a healthy, or toxic relationship.

Much of our modern lifestyle is based on our reactive feelings to external influences. Social media influencers, popular culture and news sources tell us how we should feel, but do we really know what is going on in our heart? Marilyn Manson expresses this modern dilemma brilliantly in the song Coma White:

A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won’t save her from herself

In my experience, the reason there are so many dysfunctional relationships and broken marriages these days is the fact that many of us no longer know our own true feelings.

We are all the result of life experience. Experience is what gives us knowledge of success, or failure. The only person you can change, or whose behavior you can alter, is yourself. Every other thing follows suit. That is how we heal our relationships. We must lead by example.

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Do You Prefer Spiritual School, Or Life School?

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comYour life path was designed by you and your guides, for you to evolve as a soul. This means everyone is on a spiritual path, whether they know it or not, and whether they believe in spirituality or not. We do not ‘have to’ consciously work on ourselves. Life is the ultimate teacher, and you will learn what you came here to learn, one way or another. Whether you learn well, or your learning is average, or if you don’t learn much of what you came here to learn (and have to come back for a do-over) life and life circumstances will teach you.

How much and how well you learn is completely up to each individual. If you decide you want to consciously work on yourself, that does not, in and of itself, make you a better person or more advanced than others. What matters most concerning a choice to do conscious work on yourself is how you take on the work and the energy behind your choice.

If you think you are broken, or you want power and prestige, your work on yourself runs the risk of being inauthentic and even abusive towards yourself. Choose to work on yourself because you are unhappy in life, or something, some energy, is ‘nudging’ you to learn more regarding self-mastery and being an authentic being, living with integrity, morality and ethics. You might want to read Awakening Loving-Kindness by Pema Chodron, as a starting point to better understand your choices regarding doing conscious work on yourself.

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The Spiritual Symbolism Of The Pelican

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comWhen a bird flies directly onto your path, or you see images or photos of the same bird repeatedly, within a relatively short space of time, this is often a spiritual sign that the energy of this bird is calling or guiding you.

I live on the coast and I am lucky to be able to watch various seabirds, and encounter other birds drawn to the local water ways. The pelican is one bird that has specifically caught my attention. The day I was inspired to paint this amazing bird, he literally strutted down the hallway of my home!

Even to this day, pelican continues to literally soar into my experience whenever I need to draw on his wisdom. Even though they seem large and clumsy, there is something gentle and caring about their nature. If pelican has waddled or soared onto your path, let his wisdom and symbolism guide your way.

I started building my connection with the pelican’s energy by observing and sketching the local birds. Through the process I found a sense of awe for the pelican’s beauty, which was a shift in my perception, as I had never before considered them to be very attractive birds.

I also noticed they followed a set routine, and similar flight paths, depending on the weather. It inspired me to become more aware of my own patterns and habits. At this time my work schedule had become somewhat unbalanced and dysfunctional, without me being aware of the impact. Pelican taught me that it is vital for my self-care to ensure that I work within a routine and structure that better supports my creative outlets and energy levels.

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