life drama
We Choose Our Way Of Being In The World
Our material belongings reveal much about how we tend to operate in this world. For example, I can look at the make of a person’s vehicle, as well as the model, size, and color, and instantly get a sense of how they navigate through life. I further believe we also choose our way of being in this world, based on our spiritual mindset.
A good friend and I own the same make of car, but different models. Mine happens to be a smart car and hers is a jeep. This makes perfect sense to me in terms of our personalities and lifestyle.
I am small in stature, so it is only logical that my preferred vehicle would also be small, snug and space efficient. She, on the other hand, frequently has to transport passengers, as well as plants, clothes and a variety of household items that belong to the members of her family.
More interestingly, however, is that both of us have experienced the exact same technical problem with our cars. There was a time when both our cars suddenly indicated that the brake lights were no longer functioning.
When that little warning light came on in my car, I immeditately sensed the worst, but I secretly hoped that only the bulbs might need to be changed. To my shock and horror, the entire panel eventually had to be replaced. The day I took the car in to be fixed, I miraculously escaped a major traffic accident on my usual route at my usual travel time, because my car happened to be in the shop. Yes, sometimes a malfunctioning brake light can in fact save your life!
Time Truly Does Heal All
Time truly does heal all. With time most things do get a little easier or less bad than it originally appeared. And most of the things we worry about usually never happen. Time does have a way of making it better, so we can move on and experience other things.
Time doesn’t make it go away, but it does help us to eventually see things in another perspective or from a different angle. It always ends up filling in the blanks.
Time is also a great teacher. In time, we learn a lot from the many challenging situations and experiences we go through. There is no failing. Only learning. Overcoming the setbacks and hurdles that live brings is never easy or without pain, but there is always learning and growth. We especially become more grateful and there is always soul growth.
Some losses and traumas require more time than others. We should never rush our healing. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. The most important self-healing and personal growth is supposed to take longer.
There are many ways time can heal. It can help us heal through taking the time to learn a new sport or art form, or joining a support group or recreational club that connects with others. It is important to keep busy and talk with others who are maybe going through the same thing as you. Through connecting with others, we can heal them, and they can heal us, through just listening and talking.
Empower Yourself With Astrological Intention
Astrology is to me like a metaphysical best friend. It is a way to reflect in the mirror and expand my personal growth. By applying it daily over the past decade my life has become more mindful, and miraculous. I’ve also noticed that challenging astrological aspects, such as squares and oppositions, have become easier for me to deal with.
An astrological square is considered one of the more adverse aspects in a chart. This placement is when two planets are separated by three zodiac signs and therefore positioned at a 90-degree angle in the chart at the time of birth. This creates competing tension between the energies of these two planets which neither can win, forcing them to compromise and somehow meet each other halfway.
An astrological opposition is another extremely challenging aspect in a chart. This placement happens when two planets are exactly opposite each other in the zodiac at 180 degrees apart. This means these two planets are in opposing signs and as far apart as they can possibly be on the astrological wheel. Their unique energies are therefore polar opposite, causing conflict, drama, and power clashes.
I keep track of these events in my chart because I incorporate daily astrological intentions in my life as part of my spiritual routine. My practice is to map out each day’s relevant transits and to then meditate on the significant aspects. I also pray for assistance where needed, such as with the significant squares and oppositions in my daily chart. Then, I go about my day.
Facing Our Inner Demons
I am in the process of relocating, again. Yes, I have done this many times before. I have repeatedly packed up my most treasured belongings to completely reboot my life in a different town, city, or state.
Some people find moving to be a logistical hassle and inconvenience, while others find it very challenging to say goodbye to friendly faces and familiar places. They therefore avoid it whenever possible. But for me relocating to a new place is an inspiring opportunity and invigorating adventure! Settling in a new place, to explore and discover, have novel experiences, and create new memories, is so very exciting. It keeps me young and motivated!
It is however important to note that I do not choose to relocate because I am running away from myself, my problems, or life’s challenges. It is true that some people relocate frequently because they hope it may solve their problems or help them to somehow feel happier. This is never a good idea.
The problem with moving for the wrong reasons is that you pack up and take all your troubles with you. At first, things are interesting and fun in the new location, but within a few months the ‘runners’ find themselves exactly where they were before. The problems they faced before, tend to be the same problems they now have in the new place. Right back to square one.
This kind of repeating pattern is something I often find with clients I do readings for. Someone I supported during a relationship break-up might call me one day, excited to tell me about their ‘perfect’ new love interest. Things are very exciting for a while for the new couple, until the same old patterns of dysfunctional behavior, conflict or drama begin to surface.
How To Deal With Toxic People
Toxic people can be incredibly difficult to deal with in both personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your personal happiness and well-being.
A toxic person is someone whose constant negativity and dysfunctional behavior causes drama in your life and drains you energy whenever they are around. Typical toxic traits include negativity, cynicism, apathy, lack of self-awareness, arrogance, entitlement, self-centeredness, domineering behavior, lack of empathy, being judgmental, dishonesty, anger outbursts, to name only a few.
The most extreme forms of toxicity includes personality disorders like antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is a rigid, deeply characteristic way of thinking, feeling and acting that severely affects the person’s mental well-being, personal relationships and social life.
Toxic people can however be tricky to identify at first, as their dysfunctional traits and behaviors can be very subtle. Some of them are also very good at ‘gaslighting,’ which makes interacting with them even more treacherous.
Gaslighting is a very toxic form of manipulation, game playing, or crazymaking in which you are constantly being misled, confused, lied to, and made to question your own truth and reality. You increasingly feel unsure about the accuracy of your own memories regarding certain events and your personal opinions and perceptions of the world. You may even begin to think that you are to blame for the toxic person’s actions, or that maybe something is very wrong with you, or worse, that you are losing your mind.
Transform Your Tomorrow With Gratitude Tonight
Have you ever had a ‘bad hair’ day? You know, one of those days where nothing seems to go right, including your hair refusing to cooperate? On days like that everything just feels off, and everything that can possibly go wrong does exactly that.
It’s a frustrating experience that can leave one feeling negative, stressed, and overwhelmed. Getting through the mess is one thing, but carrying this negative mindset to bed quote another. If one does not properly resolve the ‘bad hair’ state of mind by bedtime, it will adversely impact your sleep, as well as your mood the next day.
It’s easy to get caught up in a negative thought pattern and spiral into increasing stress, worry and anxiety, from one bad day to the next. Therefore it is vital to adopt a nighttime routine that will help you shift your mindset and promote a more positive outlook the next day. The best way to achieve this is to harness the power of gratitude.
The most common practice for this purpose is to keep a gratitude journal, but I prefer a more hands-on, practical approach. I do a simple ritual with a collection of small stones or crystals that I personally resonate with. I keep them in a bowl on my night table and in the morning, after I’ve made my bed, I place the stones on my pillow.
Then, at night, when I am getting ready for sleep, I sit on the side of my bed and pick up one stone or crystal at a time. I hold the stone in my hand and then think of something that I am grateful for that happened that day. It could be something as simple as a smile from a stranger or a compliment from a client. I focus on that experience or event, and feel the gratitude in my heart.
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.