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Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father

Click Here NOW for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comMy father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.

But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.

Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.

Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.

I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.

One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!

By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.

I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.

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Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone

click for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.

I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.

For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.

Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.

It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!

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Do You Prefer Spiritual School, Or Life School?

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comYour life path was designed by you and your guides, for you to evolve as a soul. This means everyone is on a spiritual path, whether they know it or not, and whether they believe in spirituality or not. We do not ‘have to’ consciously work on ourselves. Life is the ultimate teacher, and you will learn what you came here to learn, one way or another. Whether you learn well, or your learning is average, or if you don’t learn much of what you came here to learn (and have to come back for a do-over) life and life circumstances will teach you.

How much and how well you learn is completely up to each individual. If you decide you want to consciously work on yourself, that does not, in and of itself, make you a better person or more advanced than others. What matters most concerning a choice to do conscious work on yourself is how you take on the work and the energy behind your choice.

If you think you are broken, or you want power and prestige, your work on yourself runs the risk of being inauthentic and even abusive towards yourself. Choose to work on yourself because you are unhappy in life, or something, some energy, is ‘nudging’ you to learn more regarding self-mastery and being an authentic being, living with integrity, morality and ethics. You might want to read Awakening Loving-Kindness by Pema Chodron, as a starting point to better understand your choices regarding doing conscious work on yourself.

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From Separation Comes Unity

Click Here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comDuring my morning meditation, I became very aware of the isolation many people are currently experiencing, from having to self-quarantine or shelter in place.

Some are trapped in close quarters with family members, whom they don’t get along with, while others are solitary and feeling very alone. Whatever the circumstances, this is not easy for any of us, day after day, while grim news keeps coming in from the outside world.

In the Tarot there is a card, The Hermit, depicting an old, wise man who has chosen to retreat and isolate himself from the rest of the world. The card symbolizes spiritual isolation and social distancing, in order to seek wisdom and understanding within; to confront one’s inner demons, such as addictions, dependencies, habits or patterns; as well as learning to not rely on others, but to form one’s own opinions.

The Hermit card teaches us to find an inner solace and strength, a light within. There is much that we can learn from his wisdom. In normal life, we get so caught up in the mundane routines of everyday life, that we seldom pay attention to our inner being. We also spend so much time texting and scrolling through social media, that we get caught up in other’s opinions, attitudes and experiences, that we lose touch with our inner compass.

One of my Tarot mentors described The Hermit card as, “Stop the world, I want to get off.” It certainly seems in many ways that our world has been stopped in its tracks (but the planet itself has not stopped spinning). Many have nowhere to turn at this point, but inward. This may be a blessing in disguise in many ways.

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