personal dignity
The Self-Affirming Power Of Saying No
Are you the kind of person who has a hard time saying “no,” even when your heart isn’t in it?
Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing others, afraid they’ll distance themselves, or afraid they’ll stop liking you if you say no. Maybe your introverted side just wants to be liked and accepted by everyone, so you agree to things – even if it drains you.
I’ve experienced this myself and seen it happen to many people who come to me and ask, “How can I say no without feeling guilty?” or “If I don’t say yes, will I lose my connection with this person?
Saying “yes” out of fear, guilt, or obligation may be the easy way out in many situations, but it usually comes at a high cost to your personal and spiritual well-being.
Let’s acknowledge something important: You are enough just the way you are, and you are worthy of peace, joy and happiness. If someone truly values you, they’ll respect your boundaries, even if it means saying “no” once in a while.
On the other hand, if people cut you off because you set boundaries, they may not have been the healthiest presence in your life to begin with. True friends and meaningful relationships will respect your choices and understand your reasons without demanding constant explanations.
Over time, I’ve seen the toll that over-commitment takes. People who constantly say “yes” often end up feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even resentful. Some develop physical and mental health problems because they feel trapped by the constant need to please others. In some cases, burnout and depression set in, all because saying no felt like an impossible task.
How To Navigate The Sun’s Debilitation In Libra
The current debilitation of the Sun in Libra is causing challenges and disruptions in various aspects of life. In astrology, “debilitation” refers to a planet being placed in a sign where its qualities are weakened or limited.
When the Sun is debilitated in Libra, the usual energies are diminished according to the qualities of that sign. This astrological event therefore weakens the Sun’s influence in terms of authority, recognition, and personal power. As a result, many of us may experience unexpected changes in our careers, relationships, and personal lives until November 15th.
In Vedic astrology, each planet has a sign where its natural qualities are considered at their weakest, called a “debilitated” or “neecha” state. The Sun, which symbolizes our core self, vitality, ego, and sense of purpose, represents the energies of confidence and assertiveness. In Libra, however, the Sun’s qualities are tempered, tending toward compromise, diplomacy, and harmony.
The placement encourages us to prioritize cooperation over independence, as Libra’s emphasis on relationships, balance, and the perspective of others mutes the Sun’s usual assertive radiance. As a result, we feel more compelled to seek balance and harmony over confidence and assertiveness, and less inclined to take center stage or make bold, self-directed moves. Instead, there’s a focus on harmonizing with others and considering their points of view, which can shift the typical expression of personal power.
The debilitation of the Sun in Libra can be both empowering and challenging, requiring us to balance our individual goals with our relationships, and to examine where we may be overreaching for the sake of peace. While the Sun’s weakened state can feel limiting, it also offers a time to consider how cooperation and mutual respect can enhance our lives and strengthen our purpose from a place of unity rather than individualism.
What To Do When He Is Not Calling You
When someone you like a lot doesn’t call or even ghosts you, it can really sting. The excitement of a new romance can quickly turn into self-doubt and frustration.
This is when patience, trust in the bigger picture, and reclaiming your own power become really important.
Patience isn’t just about waiting; it’s about trusting that everything happens in its own time. When someone doesn’t call, it’s easy to panic and think they’re not interested or that you’ve messed up. But patience helps us trust life’s timing. What’s meant for you won’t slip away.
It’s not about sitting around hoping. It’s about realizing that the universe has a way of making things work, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Trusting that everything happens for a reason helps you let go of the need to control the outcome of your romantic life. You find peace in knowing that what’s meant for you will come to you at the right time.
Trust that everything happens for your highest good. The universe has your back. If someone doesn’t call, maybe they’re right for you. Maybe the timing isn’t right, or there’s someone better just around the corner.
Trusting the universal flow for your highest good helps you let go of the need to control everything and focus on what you can control in life. Controlling how other people behave is not one of them.
Letting Go Of Guilt
We all like to be seen as good people, and it can be deeply unsettling when others perceive us otherwise. When we find ourselves in a disagreement with a dear friend or colleague and take the blame for something we’re not responsible for, it’s natural to feel unhappy.
Spirit teaches that while it’s important to own our actions and the roles we play in conflict, guilt only serves to amplify feelings of remorse. If we allow guilt to fester, we may begin to believe that we are “bad” people who do not deserve happiness and success.
This is far from the truth. We are human, and human beings have the ability to change. Our actions may not always be right, but that doesn’t mean we are inherently bad or deserving of punishment.
Making mistakes is part of being human, and sometimes we need to adjust our responses, especially in challenging situations, in order to grow and improve. Spirit suggests that this is a much healthier perspective.
However, taking this “healthy approach” is often easier said than done. We’ve grown up in a world where elders, peers, and society define what is good and bad – even when they’re not always right. This can lead us to judge ourselves harshly and feel unnecessary guilt.
Many traditional spiritual teachings emphasize the importance of forgiveness, both of oneself and of others. In Christianity, for example, the concept of repentance is central; believers are encouraged to confess their sins, seek divine forgiveness, and then release their guilt, trusting that God’s grace has absolved them.
Grieving The Loss Of Loved Ones With Grace
Few of us have not experienced the loss of a loved one, a parent, a partner or even a child. Most of us have also witnessed or experienced the many ways in which people try to cope with such an insurmountable loss.
Coping with the huge gaping hole that such a loss leaves in our lives can have a negative impact on people’s behaviour. Some turn to extremes: alcohol, drug abuse, overeating, prescription drugs, or any of the other things people use to numb their pain and deflect the overwhelming feelings associated with loss and grief.
What we ultimately learn is that there is no set time frame in which such profound pain can be dealt with. It can take weeks, months, years or even decades for some. But even when the worst is over, we never really get over the sense of loss. We simply learn to cope and get on with our lives, forever changed, as best we can.
However, the greatest tribute we can pay the loved ones we have lost is to grieve with grace and dignity. Abusing substances or indulging in other distractions may temporarily numb our pain, but how does that honour the memory of the one we professed to care so much about? It also does not allow us to confront and process our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Grieving is natural and necessary. When we try to avoid our grief, we miss out on opportunities for personal growth, self-reflection, and ultimately finding peace with the loss.
Reclaim Your Personal Power With ‘Sat Nam’
As a Kundalini Yoga teacher, I had the unique privilege of studying with Yogi Bhajan, the yoga master who introduced Kundalini Yoga to the Western world. Before he passed away in 2004, Yogi Bhajan gave me my spiritual name, Satya Kaur, which essentially means “princess” or “lioness” who embodies or strives to live by the principle of truth. It symbolizes a spiritual identity or path that focuses on integrity, authenticity, and the pursuit of spiritual truth.
Our soul identity is the key to our life journey and spiritual growth. For this reason, at the end of each Kundalini Yoga class, the teacher says “Sat Nam” to the students. The class then repeats these words back to the teacher. Because of the name Yogi Bhajan gave me, this mantra will always have a special place in my heart.
The phrase is a Gurmukhi term that translates to “Truth is my name” or “True identity.” It is used as a yoga mantra to center the mind, connect with one’s true self, and remind us of our true essence and reality beyond the physical and mental constructs of the external world.
Saying “Sat Nam” to others is similar to the greeting “Namaste,” which means “The divine in me bows to the divine in you,” or “The spirit in me salutes the spirit in you.” For me, sacred affirmations like “Sat Nam” and “Namaste” have even more power and meaning now in the dawning Age of Aquarius.