resilience
The Simple Miracle Cure For Stress
While I was meditating the other day, the voice of an ancestor came to me. It was the spirit of a relative I had personally known when she was in this life. She said, “Why don’t you just rest a little bit honey? Everything is always easier and better after you take a day or two to just rest and recover.”
I cannot say I was surprised by this unusual visitation message. I had indeed been dealing with a lot of stress lately, and I tend to forget that what I really need to do sometimes is to simply stop. Just stop doing whatever it is I feel I have to do. I often do tend to take on more than I am actually required to, and then make matters worse by stressing about it. It’s a free will kind of deal.
My ancestor was right. A timeout would empower me to cope much better and see things in a different perspective. The truth is most of the recent stress in my life is caused by my thinking. It is mostly in my mind and not based in reality.
So, I decided to follow her advice and take a few days off. I turned off my negative thought process, stopped working for a few days, and found constructive ways to clear my mind and relax. I took out a library book to read for entertainment and enjoyment; played with my cats; cooked some delicious comfort food; meditated in the garden, slept late, and allowed myself to just simply enjoy some proper ‘me time.’
Well, it certainly worked like a charm! After just a few days, I felt invigorated, recharged, empowered, and in a much better state of mind. I now realize I had been depleted of energy and especially not getting enough sleep.
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.
How To Truly Let Them Go
When a relationship ends, we may find it very difficult to let go of the other person, especially when they have been the one who chose to leave. Friends and clients have often asked me this question. How do I forget him? How do I stop thinking about her? I have asked myself this a few times in my own life too.
My psychic observation has been that consciously trying to forget someone for whom we have strong feelings of love and affection will only serve to make it worse. ‘Forgetting’ someone we love is unnatural and goes against our grain. It only creates resistance that further increases tension and intensifies our pain.
So, it is usually better, but not easier, to channel or process our feelings of love and affection for another soul, in a more constructive, liberating way. This includes honoring the freedom of every soul’s path in relationship with God, Source, Spirit, the Divine.
It is essential to let our feelings flow, because emotions are energy in motion (e-motion). The energy will move through and in time lessen, like storm clouds passing through the sky, until the sun is visible to the eyes again.
Keeping the heart open is an important part of this process. The vision God gives me to describe this is of being in your home, going about your own life within it, with all your attention focused on the activities, surroundings, and experiences of the moment, and simply being present with what you have and what is, while the front door remains open in the background.
May Our Souls Continue To Rejoice
We have indeed so much to be grateful for today. May the joys and rememberances of this post-pandemic holiday season keep our hearts alive with hope, faith and gratitude throughout the coming year.
May our souls continue to rejoice with the miracles of joy, hope, faith and love of the Christmas of the Christians; Yule of the Pagans; Candle-mas of the Celts; Hanukkah of the Hebrews; Eid ul-Fitr of Islam; Pan-African festival of Kwanzaa; and Hindu celebration of Diwali.
In the old days, before the reformers came, the Old Oak King conquered the Holly King every year around this time. Mother Earth would then sleep under a white blanket of snow, the quiet ice of still waters, everything waiting for the Summer Solstice, when the Holly King would win the battle in turn.
We face the same battles of duality in our own lives. At times we are happily progressing along our own path, expanding, learning, growing spiritually, when suddenly an impasse comes along that requires us to become still, to be patient, to wait, to rest, to contemplate, to accept. We are seldom thankful, as we would prefer to continue rushing towards our goals, our dreams, our desires. We grumble, we complain, we resist, we fight the wait, and then we wonder why we are waiting so long.
Sometimes we are meant to just take the time to rest, draw strength, find ourselves. The true lesson and miracle of this season is the wait, the peace, the rest, until we once again see our dreams more clearly.
Only You Can Heal A Recurring Emotional Injury
We are all negatively impacted at times by certain events or people causing us emotional hurt and trauma.
If this is something that is currently weighing on your mind and you feel emotionally injured or overwhelmed today, then the following strategies may help you to overcome the recent setback you suffered.
Not only can these three steps help you to better deal with your current emotional injury, but it can also bring about lasting positive change in your life.
Step 1: Feeling Through
It is vital to process negative emotions. You should never try to suppress or repress unpleasant feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to fully feel your current emotion. Don’t think or rationalize, just feel.
Let the tears of sadness flow, lean into the fear or anxious feelings, or embrace the anger and disappointed. To process and ultimately resolve these feelings, we must first truly feel them.
However, do not spend too much time in this stage of the process. Truly feeling your negative emotions does not mean you must obsess over it or constantly dwell on it. A few hours, or at most a day or two, then let it go! Do not let it drag on for weeks or months, because this will not heal you and will only have a counterproductive effect. After the one-time ‘feeling through’, it is time to move on to the next stage.
Today’s Journey, Not Tomorrow’s Destination
I often hear my clients say, “If only I can meet my soulmate, then I will be happy.” Then when they meet that special person, they say they will finally be happy once they propose. Once they are married, then they cannot be completely happy until they have children.
Then, if they only one child, then can only be happy if they have a second. Or if they have two boys, they will only find lasting happiness once they also have a girl. Or they can only be happy once they have built or bought the dream house, or lost the weight, or launched their new business, and on, and on.
The worst scenario is people waiting for their retirement to finally be happy.
If you ask other people you will discover that nobody has everything they want. Most people have never had ‘everything.’ The few that might seem to have it all, usually do not. There is always something still lacking or missing. Nobody’s life is perfect.
Many of us spend our fleeting time on this planet wanting more, being insatiable, and never feeling fulfilled, content, or happy. It’s wonderful to have goals. Not having goals can be extremely depressing. But enjoying the process and journey toward achieving those goals will make them have even more valued and fulfilling.
More importantly, we are seldom grateful or appreciative for what we do already have. I have also found that not being grateful will bring us karmic lessons of appreciation, often by losing the good things in our life that we so easily disregard. I have seen that time and again with clients, friends and relatives.
We are an insatiable, greedy society. This who become millionaires, then want to be multi-millionaires., and then won’t be happy or fulfilled until they’re billionaires. When is enough, enough. We can only wear one outfit at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time.
I have so many friends who spent their children’s entire childhood chasing the career dreams and business goals, constantly being stressed, frazzled and not at all present when they do spend a little time with their kids. Then they wake up one day and realize their children are grown and gone, and they missed most of it.
Sleep Restores Body, Mind And Spirit
There is a saying ‘our issues are in our tissues,’ meaning our stress, fears and worries show up in our bodies. Keeping our body, mind, and spirit back in harmony and balance is essential for all of us. It ensures inner peace and well-being.
The restorative power of sleep and dreams has been a specific pursuit of mine in recent months. It has been my mission to reach that sweet spot for my body’s wake-sleep-dream rhythm and I have been discovering more of the magic that sleep and dreams can offer.
I find when I have good sleep, I remember my dreams more often. This not only helps with daily problem-solving, since my mind is at rest and not resistant, but I also receive valuable guidance and spiritual reassurance on matters I am worried about. Sleep and dreaming also help us process our emotions from our experiences of stress and trauma during our waking hours.
The dream state is also a time when we are free to explore and find new inspiration. We are in a world of our own making that belongs to only us. And the possibilities are truly endless; even time travel, prophetic dreams, loved ones coming to visit.
In the Harry Potter book The Prisoner of Azkaban, Dumbledore tells Snape not to wake Harry: “Let him sleep. For in dreams, we enter a world that is entirely our own. Let him swim in the deepest ocean or glide over the highest cloud.”
I’m a bit of a technology nerd, so that makes sleeping and dreaming even more of adventure. There are many cool technologies available these days to improve our sleep time. There are watches and other devices to create a record of not only time slept, but even quality of sleep, heart rate and other interesting facts. There are also amazing phone apps streaming sleep meditations and white noise.
I keep a journal to write down my dreams before I rise, and I also to jot down before I fall asleep those questions and life challenges I need answers for. It has further been my experience that you can even reach out in your dreams to loved ones who have passed for advice or guidance, especially if they had a passion for something you need help with.
