life drama
Transform Your Tomorrow With Gratitude Tonight
Have you ever had a ‘bad hair’ day? You know, one of those days where nothing seems to go right, including your hair refusing to cooperate? On days like that everything just feels off, and everything that can possibly go wrong does exactly that.
It’s a frustrating experience that can leave one feeling negative, stressed, and overwhelmed. Getting through the mess is one thing, but carrying this negative mindset to bed quote another. If one does not properly resolve the ‘bad hair’ state of mind by bedtime, it will adversely impact your sleep, as well as your mood the next day.
It’s easy to get caught up in a negative thought pattern and spiral into increasing stress, worry and anxiety, from one bad day to the next. Therefore it is vital to adopt a nighttime routine that will help you shift your mindset and promote a more positive outlook the next day. The best way to achieve this is to harness the power of gratitude.
The most common practice for this purpose is to keep a gratitude journal, but I prefer a more hands-on, practical approach. I do a simple ritual with a collection of small stones or crystals that I personally resonate with. I keep them in a bowl on my night table and in the morning, after I’ve made my bed, I place the stones on my pillow.
Then, at night, when I am getting ready for sleep, I sit on the side of my bed and pick up one stone or crystal at a time. I hold the stone in my hand and then think of something that I am grateful for that happened that day. It could be something as simple as a smile from a stranger or a compliment from a client. I focus on that experience or event, and feel the gratitude in my heart.
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
Should You Get Back With Your Ex?
Getting back with an ex can be challenging, especially if it ended badly the first time around. On one hand, it can be an opportunity to repair the damage and make things work, while on the other it can be a difficult decision with a variety of potential pitfalls.
Should you get back with your ex? It depends on you, your ex, and your unique situation. The pros and cons of getting back together varies depending on the people involved, the nature of the relationship, and the current circumstances. The advantages, opportunities and challenges of getting back with an ex may include the following:
Familiarity
One of the main advantages of reconnecting with your ex is the familiarity. You already know each other, so you don not have to start from scratch. This can be a great advantage, as it allows you to jump deeper into the ‘new’ relationship without having to first discover each other’s likes, dislikes, habits, quirks, expectations, hopes and dreams.
Getting back with an ex can be a great way to re-establish a comfortable relationship. You already know how to communicate with each other, you know what the other person needs and wants, and you know how to make each other happy. This familiarity can be very comforting, especially if it’s been a while since you last saw each other.
Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.
Focus On Your Own Karma
I often get questions about karma, vengeance, and divine justice from clients when I do readings. Will the haters get what’s coming to them? Will karma finally get my cheating ex? Will my abusive employer get his comeuppance someday? If so, how long will it take for them to feel the hurt and pain they inflicted on me?
When someone calls me hoping to hear that the other person will get their ‘karma,’ it usually relates to a recent incident and they feel like the rug has been pulled from under them – especially when the attack or betrayal was seemingly unfounded. They usually hope for immediate, soul-crushing retribution!
In my own life, I have not experienced such ‘instant karma.’ In fact, true karmic debt is a very slow turning wheel. Expecting immediate payback is a lost cause and a foolish pursuit. Revenge is sweet, they say, but the spiritual truth is that seeking venegeance will only add to your own karmic debt. If someone has hurt or wronged us, the pain will ease over time. Time heals all wounds, even if the scars remain.
The only meaningful ‘payback’ I have ever experienced in my own life, was the times when I received apologies from loved ones on the other side in mediumship readings. Those messages all came from the souls of family members who have completed their life review after their transition. Once we cross over into the spirit realm, we always get new clarity and an expanded understanding of our actions, or lack thereof, and how it has caused harm to others. For some souls this process takes much longer than for others.
This happened to me on several occasions over the years, with various mediums relaying spirit messages of remorse, apologies, and loved ones asking for my forgiveness. In every instance the ‘perpetrator’ had no idea of the impact they had had on me while they were in this life. Some of them also explained that their hurtful actions were due to a learned dysfunctional behaviors and trauma from their own life experiences, especially from childhood.
The Wisdom Of The Cuckoo
Over the past year, I have become fascinated with birds, particularly thrushes. They are small to medium-sized ground birds that feed mostly on insects and fruit. My interest began with the American robin, but soon branched out to other thrushes worldwide, such as the fieldfare, the Eurasian blackbird, and olive thrush of Southern Africa.
One peculiar species I accidentally stumbled upon is the well-known, and also notorious cuckoo. Apart from being famous as the key feature in ornate wooden clocks from Germany, the cuckoo is also infamous for being a ‘parasitic’ bird that lays its eggs in other birds’ nests.
Yes, the cuckoo does not raise its own young. Instead, it takes advantage of other bird parents by laying in their nests. Once the egg hatches, the cuckoo chick attempts to push the other bird species’ eggs out of their nest, thus monopolizing the surrogate parents’ energy. The cuckoo chick typically also grows much bigger than the natural offspring of its adopted parents.
Watching some videos of cuckoos online, I became aware of many negative comments on YouTube about these amazing birds. Many folks apparently choose to regard the cuckoo as a devious villain of the natural world. However, I don’t see it that way at all.
Being a co-parent myself, who had to depend on my ex-husband to provide much of the care for my two children when they were younger, due to my personal health challenges after a near-death experience (NDE), I feel empathy for the cuckoo’s eccentricity and the unusual value it brings to the animal kingdom.
Control Is The Opposite of Love
I have learned that communication glitches and other side-effects of a Mercury retrograde can actually offer us valuable life lessons if we choose to pay attention.
For example, during the recent retrograde my daughter suffered a migraine on a day she was supposed to visit me. I decided not to pick her up, because she said she was not feeling strong enough. She is prediabetic and I pray and light candles for her daily.
So, I texted her a get-well soon message along with an animated chicken soup meme. Feeling worried about her, I checked in periodically throughout the day see if she had received her ‘virtual chicken soup.’ But the message read receipt only showed ‘delivered.’ No read receipt.
The next day, the text message suddenly showed it had been ‘read,’ but it had the previous afternoon’s timestamp? I noticed a similar phenomenon when co-parenting communication with my daughter’s father also suddenly failed repeatedly and produced delayed read receipts.
Instead of becoming frustrated about it, I contemplated the matter and came to an enlightening conclusion. Spirit clearly said to me, “The need for control is the opposite of love’s vibration.”
This is so very true. Controlling energy is toxic energy. It was a gentle reminder that I need to keep working on releasing my desire to try and be in perfect control of everything in my life at all times.
When we constantly feel the need to control every aspect of our day, rather than letting the energies of universal love, joy and abundance flow freely in our life, we block our blessings and personal growth.