dark night of the soul
Why Some Of Us Must Walk Alone To Find Our Tribe
The topic of belonging comes up a lot lately in conversations with close friends, and it is often a concern for my clients when I do readings. A rise in loneliness appears to be a worldwide issue.
A conversation I had with a Spanish family recently was truly food for thought for me. We spoke about the disconnect with people in general, but the family in question strives to maintain family meetings and chats over meals, even though the younger ones spend more and more time on their phones.
One of the younger family members, told me that having a sense of community is part of his family’s religious practice. He makes a conscious effort to be disciplined about phone use when the family comes together. Hopefully, he will educate more of his peers about the importance of being present for in-person connection.
Personally, I have always tended to shy away from group gatherings, but I must say that I have been impressed by the warmth of the locals here in Spain, and their desire to include me in their community.
A few years ago, when my husband died just before Christmas, my Spanish friends in the farming community where I lived at the time told me, in no uncertain terms, that I would be joining them for Christmas and New Year’s family gatherings. I told them I’d prefer to stay home, especially considering the snow the previous Christmas that had confined us to our property for a few days.
Grief Is A Sacred Gift Of Soul Experience
Long ago, I yearned for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life. And the door opened. It led me within.
Now, I long for a deep wound to be healed, and again I feel the door opening. I am prepared for the changes that come each time the door opens, and welcome them with profound gratitude.
I’ve come to understand that these “doors” don’t always show up looking bright and shiny and obviously spiritual. Sometimes they arrive disguised as heartbreak, loss, and the kind of grief that knocks the breath right out of your body. It doesn’t feel like a doorway then. It feels like a wall. A dead end. A great, echoing “Why?”
Last year had been a particularly difficult time for me. So much grief! Layers of it. Old grief that I thought I had already handled. New grief that came out of nowhere. Grief that didn’t even seem to have a clear name or story attached to it. I just had waves of sadness and loneliness that would rise up and spill over when I least expected it.
All part of the process, of course. But when you’re actually in it, that is not always comforting. I remember wondering, sometimes out loud:
When will I get back into the universal flow again?
When will the spiritual things I need for my Journey manifest?
When will this heaviness lift?
I wasn’t asking in a demanding way, more like a child pressing her face against the window, looking out at life, feeling like everyone else was moving forward while I was sitting in slow motion. My faith never left, but it got very, very quiet.
Navigating The Sacred Journey Of Grief
As a psychic medium, I have spent decades bearing witness to the immense and complex journey of grief.
Over the years, I’ve learned that grief has many faces and forms. It is not only about death and dying. It can arise from various types of loss, such as the loss of a pet, the end of a relationship, a change in life path, the loss of a job, or moving away from a beloved home.
My clients often tell me, “My heart has a hole in it,” or “It feels like my heart has been torn apart.”
These aren’t just metaphors. Grief can feel so intense that it seems like a physical injury — like a ‘heart attack’ of the soul. Grief reverberates through our heart, mind, body, and spirit, leaving no part of us untouched.
One of the most important truths I’ve learned is that grief is deeply personal. No two people experience it in the same way. There is no “normal” way to grieve or a fixed timeline.
Some people begin to feel a little lighter after a few weeks or months, while for others, the sorrow lingers for years or even decades. And that’s okay.
Grieving means you loved deeply, cared sincerely, and connected profoundly. It is not just about saying goodbye, but also about building a new relationship with their absence — one that carries forward the love in a different way.
The Transformative Power Of Finding Your Faith
Faith is deeply personal and means different things to different people. It can take many forms, such as spiritual faith in a higher power, personal faith in one’s abilities, or faith in the people and principles that shape our lives.
For some, faith is a guiding force that offers comfort and meaning. For others, it’s a leap into the unknown, choosing hope over doubt. It can be rooted in a religious tradition, philosophical principle, esoteric teaching, or the simple belief that tomorrow holds possibilities unseen today.
Whatever our beliefs, faith is an intense and often unshakable certainty in those beliefs despite the absence of proof. To me, faith is a powerful, transformative force. When embraced, it offers immeasurable strength in the face of life’s challenges.
When I was young, I struggled to grasp the concept of faith. I never doubted the existence of a creator. I never doubted an afterlife or the presence of spirits in our lives. Perhaps this was due to my innate sensitivity to energies and spiritual disposition. I moved through life guided by intuition.
Yet despite my spiritual grounding, my faith was tested repeatedly, especially through experiences of trauma and loss.
I wrestled with questions of purpose and fairness. I couldn’t accept the idea of a cruel or indifferent creator who randomly punished or rewarded people.
What You Should Know About Spiritual Awakening
We live in a world that worships results. We proudly proclaim them: “I lost twenty pounds,” or “I was voted employee of the month.”
Tangible achievements deserve recognition. But in the spiritual realm, such milestones don’t exist in the same way. The universe does not operate according to human rules. The metaphysical realms cannot be measured by physical standards.
This is why when it comes time for us to experience a spiritual awakening — also known as an epiphany, illumination or inner shift — there is no outward certificate of success. It’s not something that can be counted or checked off a list. It happens organically, quietly, often unpredictably. And when it comes, it is only the beginning.
Think of it as a small ball of snow set in motion at the top of a hill. As it rolls down, it grows larger and more powerful, accumulating mass and momentum. That’s what spiritual awakening does: it starts with a whisper and becomes a roar. The journey that follows isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it.
But what exactly is a spiritual awakening? At its core, spiritual awakening is the moment when you begin to perceive reality through a higher, expanded lens. It is a fundamental shift in consciousness — a sudden or gradual realization that there is more to life than what meets the eye.
A sudden awakening is known as “satori” in Zen Buddhism — a sudden moment of awakening or enlightenment. Satori is a flash of insight into the true nature of reality—an experience where the ego momentarily drops away, and one perceives life with profound clarity and unity.
How To Embrace Your Shadow Self
Most people tend to shy away from acknowledging their dark or “shadow” side when it comes to spirituality.
In fact, the tendency to avoid the uncomfortable aspects of the self is due in large part to our religious or spiritual background. Throughout history, most traditions have encouraged people to suppress, deny, or transcend their human flaws and shortcomings in favor of higher ideals such as purity, salvation, or enlightenment.
This reluctance to face the shadow within continues to this day, with modern spiritual and metaphysical communities often favoring light, love, and positivity while largely ignoring the messy, difficult, and painful aspects of the human experience.
But by avoiding the shadow within, we deny ourselves the opportunity for a deeper understanding of our soul’s purpose and untapped possibilities for personal and spiritual growth.
According to Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist who pioneered the concept of the “shadow” in psychology, “one is not enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Enlightenment isn’t about avoiding the shadow. Instead, it’s about facing it and integrating it into our being.
When we face the shadow within, we reclaim parts of ourselves that hold immense power, creativity, and insight. By delving into the deeper truths of our shadow selves, we can unravel the unconscious patterns that dictate our lives, allowing for true healing, transformation, and enlightenment.
The Hidden Wisdom In Our Traumatic Life Experiences
In the thousands of readings I have done over the years for people from all walks of life, I have repeatedly witnessed how the crucible of life’s trials and tribulations offers profound opportunities for spiritual growth and personal transformation.
It never ceases to amaze me how there is always a spark of wisdom or hidden blessing to be found in every life challenge or traumatic experience. Even in the worst-case scenarios, Spirit is always able to reveal the life lesson or karmic opportunity in these situations.
In a psychic reading, spirit in the form of our ancestors, spirit guides, angels and the divine can offer profound insight and guidance into our hardships and challenges.
With the akashic wisdom gathered through many generations, your higher self, ancestors, and members of your soul family can offer perspectives and experiences that shed light on your current life circumstances.
Their presence in a reading can provide a deep-rooted understanding of family patterns, ancestral karmic debts, and inherited gifts, allowing you to navigate life’s challenges with newfound clarity and resilience.
In addition, our spirit guides and angels serve as divine messengers, offering support and illumination on our journey through life. Their presence in a psychic reading brings messages of encouragement, protection and divine intervention.