loss
Finding The Courage To Heal
All of us will experience some heartache, adversity and grief in our life. It may be a serious health scare, the ending of a relationship or marriage, the tragic loss of a loved one, retrenchment from a ‘secure’ job, sudden bankruptcy, becoming homeless due to a foreclosure, or becoming the victim of abuse and violence.
These major setbacks in life can be truly devastating, and the pain and trauma extremely difficult to rise up from again. In such times of loss or trauma, it is vital to allow yourself to feel your true emotions. To effectively process and heal from traumatic events. hardship and bereavement, we must acknowledge our raw feelings. Grief and trauma are deeply private and personal journeys with no rules and no deadlines.
However, do not allow the ego to keep you trapped indefinitely in a place of anger, bitterness, hopelessness, or self-pity. If left unattended for too long, our initial emotional responses to the negative event can become toxic in a way that simply keeps us away from our truly divine self and our future happiness.
Yes, it is always hard work to release intense loss or trauma and move forward. It takes courage, self-awareness, and inner strength. However, if you proceed with faith, trusting and believing that this too shall pass, and that there is a reason for everything, even if you don’t understand it right now, you will ultimately be able to move forward in a healthy and productive way.
No matter what happens to you in life, you will grow stronger and wiser by working through it. Regardless how intense the dark night of your soul may be, move forward step by step, day by day, trusting that you can heal and will become stronger. Focus on self-care and loving yourself and hold the faith that better days are coming into your life. We all deserve to be happy and have inner peace.
Signs, Messages And Synchronicities From Spirit
There has always been skepticism when it comes to psychic phenomena, mediumship and spiritual experiences. However, one instance where I have often seen this kind of skepticism dissolve is at wakes, funerals, or when people gather for the celebration of someone’s life after a passing.
I have attended several such gatherings with skeptical relatives, friends and strangers, listening to the stories of their loved ones and the signs and messages they have received from the dearly departed. I have also noticed that once someone in the group had the courage to tell their story, others feel more comfortable to start sharing theirs.
I have heard many, many stories over the years of angels feathers, symbolic numbers, butterflies, visitation dreams, mysterious phone calls, electrical disturbances, smells, sounds, and apparitions. And when people talk about the signs, messages and synchronicities, I have observed a softening in their voice, face and body. Our body language changes when we discuss these experiences.
Death and bereavement tends to change people’s outlook, even if it is only temporary with the more cynical among us. A loved one’s passing connects us all and affects us all. And like our ancestors before us, we will all go through that door someday. People experience an opening of the heart and mind at these times and are more willing to share their personal experiences.
Most of us have our own unique stories of spirit communication and paranormal visitations. I believe it is vital that these stories be shared, so others may feel more comfortable in sorting through the signs, messages and synchronicities they have received. Instead, those who grieve are often made to feel these things are superstitious or unnatural, and encouraged to disregard their experiences.
Paw Prints All Over My Heart
The agony of losing a dog is immeasurable. I lost my beloved Oliver, a King Charles Cavalier, several months ago and I’m still crying every day. But I have found some consolation in his afterlife signs and visits from the other side.
He was 11 years old and in perfect health, or so I thought. He’d had a full checkup three months prior and he had the test results of a very young dog! I also used to take him on long walks every day, his head held high, his tail wagging happily, a prancing skip in his step.
He was such a loving, happy dog. He stopped for every human, always begging for their attention and a pat on the head. Everyone knew him and loved him in the neighborhood.
He followed me around everywhere, lay under the table as I worked, always got up to join me for Yoga, and I left a spot for him behind my pillow every night at bedtime. I took him everywhere with me.
My 90-year-old mom lives across the street and that was his second home. He loved it there. One day, I was out running errands and he got loose. He then came knocking on my mom’s door looking for me there. She was always happy to see him and invited him in.
One day he simply stopped eating. He refused his favorite dog treats, would not even sniff peanut butter. Then he stopped drinking water. We immediately took him to the vet for tests. Not long after, the kind doctor phoned. My heart sank. “His organs are already shutting down, there’s nothing we can do for him,” he said.
We rushed back to the vet, praying he would hang on long enough so we could say our goodbyes. He did hang on for us. My husband, daughter and I were all together when we first picked him up as a puppy and now we were together to see him off. They didn’t even need to sedate him; he was already leaving his body and was calm as can be.
Just before they gave him the final injection, he suddenly turned his head and focused. I thought his loving gaze was on all of us, but my daughter insists he was only looking at me. There was no question he loved us all, but I did have an incredibly special connection with Oliver.
The Moral Of The Story
Since childhood, I have always loved fables and allegories, as well as the parables in The Bible. Indeed, one of my favorites is The Widow’s Two Mites in Luke 21. As a little girl, I used to listen intently to the story of the poor widow who gave more generously to charity than anyone else in the temple, because she gave all that she had. The life lessons and spiritual wisdom in these stories fascinated me.
Recently, I discovered an amusing tale that deals with both the ego and the need to be pragmatic. Three monks sat on a bankside, each in deep meditation. One of the monks, however, became cold, and this interrupted his ability to meditate. He told the other two that he was heading back to their cabin to find his blanket. Off he went, crossing the stream both ways with no problem. Soon he was back, in next to no time, and as dry as he was when he had left.
A short while later, another monk remembered that he had not left his wet clothes out to dry, so he too needed to head back to the cabin to tend to his laundry. Off he also went. The third monk saw, in amazement, how he easily walked across the water back to the cabin, and when he returned, just like the other monk, he was as dry as he had set off.
Seeing his two fellow monks cross the creek without getting wet infuriated the third monk. “So, you think you are both better than me!” he yelled at them. “Well, I will show you that if you can walk on water, then so can I!”
He ran up to the stream, put his foot on the surface of the water and instantly fell in, waist-deep! As a result, the third monk became even angrier and yet more determined to walk on the water. But time and time again he attempted to cross the creek without getting wet, but to no avail.
Distraught by his many failed attempts, one of the other two monks turned around to his friend and said, “Don’t you think it is time we tell him where those stepping stones are?”
This story did not only make me smile, but it also made me reflect upon my life. Indeed, there have been times when I allowed my ego, needlessly, to stand in the way of my better judgment. Like that third monk, I have also allowed myself to become envious and upset by comparing my own achievements to that of others.
Venus In The Underworld A Time Of Transformation
The ancient Sumerians associated the 18-month cycle of planet Venus to the story of the goddess Inanna’s descent into the underworld. It is a story of transformation, healing and rebirth. It is a process of letting go of the old, dying to who we were and being reborn.
Two months ago, on February 13th, the planet Venus disappeared from view behind the Sun as part of her orbit cycle. During this conjunction with the Sun she becomes invisible to us. When Venus disappears behind the Sun, she is said to be in the Underworld and at this point in the story, Inanna is killed by her sister who is Queen of the Underworld.
This is one of the most transformational parts of her journey and it is valuable to understand what is going on, so we can use the cycle and consciously work within it.
By paying attention to what may have been disrupted in your life in the last few months, you may see a pattern of recurring issues or triggers, where you are being encouraged to release the past fully, so you are ready to be transformed into a new and better version of yourself.
This often requires a process of surrender and letting go of the need to control, or constantly having to know what the outcome will be. It also can involve the need to grieve what is dying or being lost, or what is gone, even if it is a negative part of yourself that has been with you for too long.
This process is an important part of our soul’s evolution in life. It can bring us more fully home to who we truly are and a greater expression of our purpose. Astrologically speaking, Venus represents love, pleasure, beauty and harmony. In our natal chart it reflects what we love and value.
In the Shamanic Astrology interpretation, Venus, which is a personal planet, also represents our individual feminine nature for both women and men. It can be helpful to look at your own astrology chart to understand your Venus qualities and see what your feminine essence is.
Find The Eye Of The Storm
Your relationship is falling apart, you have lost your job, your finances are in a shambles, you suffer an unexpected loss due to a global pandemic. Chaos comes in many forms and at times it touches multiple areas of our lives at once.
The ripple effect starts in one area and then spreads insidiously, until every aspect of your life begins to look very bleak. Your emotional reserves are drained, confusion sets in and you feel stuck, powerless…reeling from the shock.
When things turn bad in your life this way it can have the force and power of a hurricane or tornado. It can be devastating.
Perhaps you sensed it coming. Your intuitive radar was ‘pinging’, sensing imminent danger, or maybe it caught you completely off-guard. Either way, the results are the same.
Now what? How do you get your bearings, recover your sense of direction, recharge your battery and get the inner strength to move forward?
All tropical storms have a center, or an eye. The stronger the storm the calmer the eye, which is characterized by lighter winds and a clearer sky. So, take a breath – a deep breath – and find your center. Find the eye of your storm.
Making decisions from fear or chaos always increases the strength and ferocity of the storm. Remember, all storms do pass. The beauty of life lies in the newness and change each moment offers us.
The Soul Future Of Past Relationships
To outward appearances, endings are a structural matter – now there is a relationship, now there is no relationship. From the soul point of view, ending is a different experience of the relationship.
Ending is not literal at all, but rather a radical shift in imagination. For example, a woman’s father passes on. In her soul the relationship may now intensify and may become the dominant myth shaping her other relationships, her career, and every other aspect of her life.
Memories of her father may now become more vivid than ever, and new feelings may surface. He may be more influential in her life now than when he was alive.
Another example might be a man who divorces his wife, thinking that now his thoughts will turn toward a new life. With the struggle of decision and separation now passed, feelings formerly nudged out of awareness now come to the forefront.
Completely unexpectedly, he now has dreams of her seducing him, suggesting that in some way ‘she’ now has renewed desired for him. Years later, he says what many people say: “I didn’t have to go through that divorce. If only I had known then what I know now…”
Apparently there is something in every relationship that is eternal, that goes on forever, and that wants to be exempted from the life-decision to cut ties. If you are experiencing this, it is not your imagination. You are simply being quite human.
Obviously, our relationships are not as simple or as limited in scope as we sometimes like to think them to be. There are only so many people we come to know in a lifetime, and an even smaller number with whom we live intimately. Continue reading