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Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.
How To Remember Your Dreams
Many people assume they cannot remember much of their dreams, while some even believe they never dream at all. The truth is that dreams are a vital part of our spiritual awareness and inner guidance system. Everyone dreams. In fact, we dream every night and we are able to remember more of our dreams. Dreaming is a natural, automatic part of our sleep cycle as spirit beings in human form.
Dreams are a wellspring of spiritual information, support and guidance. If we were truly unable to recall our dreams, then we could never benefit from the divine guidance and spirit messages they convey. But to interpret and understand the deeper meaning of our dreams, we must consciously remember them.
Fortunately, if you seldom remember your dreams, or feel like you never dream at all, it is possible for you to train yourself to start remembering more of your dreams! Below are three strategies you can implement in your lifestyle and daily spiritual to start improving your dream recall. The key to success here is in combining these strategies in a consistent practice.
Dream Routine
Create a bedtime routine that helps to calm you mind, body and soul and increase the quality of your sleep and dream recall. Avoid the blue light from electronic devices, as it disturbs our circadian rhythm and sleep cycle. Do not consume caffeine and other stimulants. Do not eat for at least two hourse before your bedtime. Alos, avoid unnecessary stressors or stimulation, such as reading the news or watching a horror movie.
When Angels Are Passing
When I was nine years old, British troops were deployed to Northern Ireland after violence had erupted in the streets and the local police were no longer able to cope. Johnny, a young man from our neighborhood, was one of those soldiers called up. He was about 20 years old and lived just down the road from us.
Sadly, after just two months in active service, Johnny suffered a fatal bullet wound. His passing shocked our community and understandably devastated his family. My mother and I visited his mom at the time to convey our condolences. I remember her telling my mother that at the very moment of Johnny’s passing, everything in their family home went deathly silent because, as he put it, “the angels were passing.”
Her profound words left a lasting impression on me. At first, I wondered if this meant that angels sometimes also carry bad omens or bring us tidings of misfortune? But my mom soon put my mind at ease and explained that it meant quite the opposite. Angels show up to comfort and carry us through difficult times, such as at funerals and untimely passings. They bring us a sense of peace and support when it is most needed. With sudden passings, the angels make their presence known, like they did with Johnny’s family, at the moment of the person’s passing.
Almost 50 years later, my dear mother was a nursing home and not in the best of health. I was very worried about her. One morning, I drove into town to take my mind off things. I soon noticed the car park and the streets were exceptionally quiet and empty for this the time of the day, and month. I remember briefly thinking to myself it’s as if ‘the angels are passing.’ Later, when I arrived home, my husband informed me that my mother had passed.
The Universe Supports Effort, Not Entitlement!
I frequently do candle work in my spiritual practice. However, in my experience this kind of ritual only works if the practitioner is already in a raised vibration and in healthy alignment with the eternal laws of the Universe.
This is true even more so after the COVID-19 pandemic, due to the Great Conjunction between Jupiter and Saturn at the end of 2020 which ushered in a new wave of karmic responsibility.
Sadly, some practitioners I’ve encountered on my professional path do candle-lighting and other metaphysical rituals as if they’re an easy ‘magic wand’ that will absolve them of any and all personal accountability.
Not so! We cannot simply kneel down and light a prosperity or romance candle to quickly erase all our financial problems or relationship issues. What is required for such a metaphysical practice to be successful is realizing that God, Source, Spirit, the Divine loves and supports us infinitely in our efforts, not our passive entitlement.
Spirit is constantly striving to bring us to a better place of peace, joy, and abundance, but not without our proactive participation. This requires releasing a great deal of karmic debt, trauma, and self-important entitlement.
The humble spiritual warrior knows that beating one’s chest and recognizing your human frailty and imperfection is much more powerful, than being a pious and pompous ‘know-it-all’ who expects the best things in life to simply show up on their doorstep.
What are you choosing to do post-pandemic? Are you genuinely committed to a daily discipline of working on yourself? Or you will flurry like a confused flounder in the stale ocean waters of the withering Piscean age?
Helping Children Navigate Divorce
When parents get divorced it is always difficult for the entire family. Navigating through this time is usually challenging. There is also no manual or guidebook for how to do things the right way, so parents have to figure it out as they go.
Same with the children. It can be very scary for them not knowing what to expect and sometimes feeling obligated to take sides. It can be a very sad, stressful time for children, especially when parents are so caught up in their disputes and drama that they lose sight of what is best for their kids. The kids are not the ones getting the divorce.
However, I believe most parents really do try to do their best to soften the blow and make it work for everyone involved.
Children tend to want to please their parents and not cause further upset. So, tend to not speak up. They sometimes suppress their feelings of hurt, resentment or fear. Sometime children feel like they need to choose one parent over another.
Everyone needs to feel they are being heard and their needs considered. It is therefore best to listen to all sides before making decisions. Going through this process can be tricky. You do not want your child to feel neglected or abandoned in the process.
Understanding your children’s needs and feelings, and dealing with it, is the first step into helping your child get through it with the least amount of trauma. If a parent finds this difficult to ascertain, then it is wise for them to get some professional help and guidance.
Are You Consciously Guided By Spirit?
Our spirit guides are constantly directing us towards our highest good and the fulfillment of our life purpose, whether we are aware of it, or not. Their guidance is just all the more effective and efficient if we are consciously aware and open to it on a daily basis.
We are all here to accomplish our soul mission in this lifetime. We agreed to come to earth for a particular purpose or calling. It is also my belief that if this mission is not accomplished, we will keep coming back to this plane of existence until we do.
Our spirit guides are with us every step of the way to assist and support us in getting these life goals met. Every day they coax us in the right direction with signs, synchronicities, gut instincts, hunches, ideas, thoughts, dreams, and inspirations.
Sadly, many people tend to be unconscious of the daily guidance of spirit, and to make matters worse, they also tend to ignore their gut feelings, signs, and intuitions. This often leads to poor choices and bad decisions, and sometimes disasterous, even life-threatening situations.
You see, spirit can only suggest, encourage, and recommend. Our guides cannot force us to do anything against our free will. Spirit can also not interfere in our lives and direct our choices without our participation and consent. In other words, our guides can only help us when we are willing to help ourselves. For the best results we must ask for guidance and support, and then be open to receive it.
A Year Of Charity And Personal Prosperity
A new year tends to inspire the mindset of a fresh, new start. It is a time of high hopes that this year is going to be better, or that one is not going to make the same mistakes as last year. But what does spirit forecast for the year that lies ahead?
From my guides I received a confirmation that we will be on the right path this year as long as we keep our attitudes positive and our intentions true to our heart. As children of God, Source, Spirit, the Divine we are to always expect only the best, as long as whatever we desire does not harm or deprive others. If we set a sincere intention for our own highest good, as well as the highest good of others, the best will happen for us, in the right way, at the right time.
The year 2023 is set to be a year of greater tolerance, mutual understanding, unconditional love, compassion, and kindness. The world has grown weary with all the conflict, drama and hate in recent years.
At times it is difficult to find these noble qualities within ourselves, especially after we have suffered trauma, loss, or a major disappointment. However, the more we can dig deep within to express these qualities, the better this year will turn out for all of us.
This is a year to strive for the betterment of humankind. Spirit wishes to encourage us to make more of an effort in 2023 to help and support others wherever we can. It does not necessarily have to be financial or material if one simply cannot afford it, but is good if you can. There are many ways we can care for others, including a silent blessing, a hug, a prayer, a meal. Simply mowing someone’s lawn, shoveling their snow, or doing their shopping can sometimes transform, even save a life.