emotional distress
Not Everyone Chooses The Path Of Healing
You’ve probably heard the phrase “what they don’t know can’t hurt them.” Sometimes this is true, but there are also times when what people choose to ignore or disregard can cause real harm – not only to themselves, but also to those around them.
For those of us with psychic or spiritual gifts, there’s an added complexity: the ability to sense the struggles of others, which leads to the question of when and how to help.
Intuitives, channelers and healers are very aware of the energy of others, even when we’re just going about our daily routines. Whether it’s a stranger in the grocery store or a friend across the room, we tend to sense when someone is struggling with grief, trauma or stress.
We may choose to quietly send them comforting or healing energy, hoping it will ease their pain, even if only for a moment, yet the urge to help can be very strong in these situations. And while reaching out and offering help can be very uplifting or rewarding for everyone involved, there are times when our attempts to help are met with resistance, or worse, denial.
It’s especially challenging to see someone we care about turn a blind eye to their own needs or pain, and even more so when our support is disregarded or unappreciated.
One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in both my personal and professional life is that I can only help those who are willing to help themselves. The sad truth is that sometimes people choose not to act on information that could improve their lives or change their destiny. Instead, their negativity, anger, or fear allows the problem to fester or the behavior to grow, affecting not only themselves but also their loved ones. Over time, this denial creates a cycle of suffering that affects physical, mental and karmic health and well-being, sometimes for generations.
Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself ~ Deborah Reber
I once confided in a friend my psychic insights regarding a family member of hers who was struggling with behavior that was detrimental to her health and the well-being of the family. I hoped that sharing my concern would encourage her to intervene, but she chose to direct. A year later, her relative’s health deteriorated significantly, an outcome I sensed would happen if left unaddressed.
In such situations, I believe that major setbacks such as illness often act as a wake-up call from the divine – a siren to awaken us from our denial so that we can face our truth, change our ways, or find healing.
Allowing Others To Walk Their Path
Over the years, I’ve had many experiences where I’ve witnessed the effects of people’s resistance to change. For example, just this morning I noticed a man in the grocery store with an aura so weak it seemed as if his last life energy was ebbing away. As I tuned in, I sensed that he had struggled with alcohol and nicotine addiction for decades and that many loved ones had tried to help him quit. I quietly sent him healing energy and whispered a prayer on his behalf and moved on, only to see him later in the parking lot smoking another cigarette.
Moments like these are important reminders that people must want to help themselves for true change or healing to occur. We can read for them, pray for them, offer guidance and support, but if they’re not ready to let go of their suffering, it’s important to respect their journey of free will. This can be especially challenging with family and friends, as it’s hard to witness their pain without wanting to intervene.
Ultimately, we cannot force someone to choose healing, no matter how much we want to help. If someone you love is caught in a cycle of denial or self-destruction, we can turn the situation over to God or the universe. We can pray for their peace and well-being, but ultimately they must go their own way.
This can be a painful realization for healers, empaths and parents. But as we learn to let go, we open ourselves to a healthier way of supporting others – one that respects their choices and sustains our own energy. And as we let go, we create space for people who are truly ready to embrace change and growth.
The Karma Of Denial In Families
Every holiday season I used to gather with a group of people whose lives seemed to be filled with tension and unhealed wounds. It’s painful to see how resentment, unresolved conflict and toxicity prevent them from embracing the joys of life and their many daily blessings.
One family member, now deceased, couldn’t even travel with her family in peace. Their holidays were always filled with frustration, impatience and drama, while negativity suffocated the atmosphere. Her choices created a painful void that no one could fill, no matter how much anyone wished for her healing, including me.
In such cases, I believe that denial can lead to physical illness and mental dysfunction. Anger, fear and bitterness take a toll on the body over time and slowly manifest as dysfunction and disease. When this energy permeates a family, it’s as if an invisible web of negativity surrounds each member, affecting their mental and physical health. As much as I wanted to help them find peace, I ultimately had to accept their resistance and let go.
Parents have a particularly profound influence on the emotional and spiritual well-being of their children. When children grow up in an environment of anger, impatience, or resentment, they often carry these energies forward, creating karmic patterns that affect not only their adult lives and their own families, but also many future generations. By choosing kindness, compassion, tolerance, patience, and positivity, parents can instead give their children the gift of a karmic legacy of resilience, well-being, fulfillment, and joy.
Remember, children’s inner dialogue is shaped by what their parents do, not what they say. Positive reinforcement, love, and patience teach them to value themselves, which protects them from the cycle of negativity that many families unwittingly perpetuate. Think before you speak or act in anger; each word and action leaves a mark that can either uplift or burden them for life.
But until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise” ~ Stephen R. Covey
How To Protect Your Own Energy
For psychics, healers and empaths, the desire to help can feel almost automatic, but we must remember that not everyone is ready to receive healing. Here are some strategies for protecting your own energy and well-being when dealing with those who aren’t open to receiving help or who are trying to take advantage of your energy:
Set clear boundaries: Determine when and how to engage with people who drain your energy. Limit the amount of time you spend with them and, when necessary, communicate your boundaries kindly but firmly. Being around people who radiate anger or despair for long periods of time can be draining. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care; it’s a way to maintain your own well-being.
Use affirmations: Reinforce your boundaries and protect your energy with affirmations such as “I am protected and grounded” or “I allow only loving, healing energy to enter my space.
Limit emotional investment: Remind yourself that it’s okay to care without absorbing the struggles of others. Disconnect from their outcomes by focusing on what you can realistically offer and letting go of what you cannot control.
Let go with love: Recognize that everyone is on their own journey. If someone resists or refuses your help, release with compassion, recognizing that sometimes the most healing act is to let them learn in their own time and way.
Stop offering help uninvited: It’s natural to want to step in and help or send healing to someone in pain, but if the person hasn’t asked for it and isn’t seeking change, sending energy can be counterproductive. Recognize that some people have chosen their path and trying to intervene can drain your own resources. Let Spirit guide you in this process and trust your intuition. Just as our ancestors, spirit guides and angels will not interfere with our free will unless we ask for their help, we must accept and respect the free will of others.
Ask for divine intervention: Sometimes the best and only way to help is through prayer, turning the situation over to a higher power and the universe. We can’t heal, save, or help everyone, especially those who are not ready or willing. Through prayer, we can place our intentions positively into the capable hands of God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, while accepting the limits of our own influence and abilities.
Ground yourself daily: Use grounding techniques such as visualization or meditation to connect with the earth’s energy. Imagine roots extending from your feet deep into the earth, releasing any negativity and drawing in stabilizing energy.
Engage in energy clearing: Regularly clear your energy field with sage, palo santo, or other tools, especially after interactions with draining people.
Practice shielding: Visualize an energetic barrier around you-like a protective bubble or cloak-that filters out negativity and prevents unwanted energies from attaching to you.
Use protective crystals: Wear crystals such as black tourmaline, smoky quartz, or amethyst, which are known to absorb and transmute negative energy, especially during interactions that may be challenging.
Limit your exposure to negativity: Avoid people, places, situations, or activities that are overly negative, toxic, or draining. Be selective about how and where you spend your time, and disengage when situations become too intense. Social media exposure can also be a significant source of negativity and emotional triggers. Limit your time scrolling, especially on days when you are feeling vulnerable, and follow accounts that inspire and uplift you rather than those that add to your stress.
Replenish through self-care: Engage in activities and spiritual practices that recharge you, such as spending time in nature, practicing yoga, praying, or meditating. Maintaining a strong sense of self helps to buffer against energetic depletion.
Prioritize your inner circle: Invest your energy in relationships that uplift and support you. Surrounding yourself with like-minded, positive people helps sustain your energy and builds resilience.
Toxic Friendships: End It, Or Mend It?
Like all relationships, friendships have their ups and downs, testing the bonds that bind us together.
A true friend is someone who genuinely wants the best for you, celebrates your victories, and supports you through challenges. They offer encouragement, share your joys, and lend a sympathetic ear during difficult times.
The presence of true friends adds value to your life and fosters growth and positivity. You have a healthy friendship that thrives on mutual respect and care, where both parties feel uplifted and inspired to be their best selves.
In stark contrast, a toxic friend is often self-absorbed, putting their own needs and desires above all else. They manipulate situations to get what they want, with little regard for how their actions affect your happiness.
This type of friendship can feel draining, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning your self-worth. Instead of celebrating your achievements, a toxic friend may resort to jealousy or criticism, undermining your confidence.
Toxic friendships can deeply affect our emotional and mental well-being, often leaving us feeling drained and undervalued. These relationships are characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, and lack of support, creating an environment where one party consistently takes more than they give.
The dynamic can include jealousy, competition, or even emotional abuse, making it difficult to feel safe and authentic. Over time, toxic friendships can lead to diminished self-esteem and increased stress, underscoring the importance of recognizing and addressing these unhealthy connections.
How To Deal With Toxic Drama Royalty
These days, there is drama, crazy-making and toxic behavior everywhere you turn. And it’s not just on social media and public transportation…many of us have to deal with people in our personal and professional lives who are overly demanding, entitled, melodramatic, mean-spirited, always in victim mode, or just plain unhinged.
Sadly, many of these spiritually handicapped souls are people close to us, people we care deeply about. It can be daunting to deal with their toxic actions and volatile behaviors, and trying to ignore them is exhausting and even impossible in the long run.
But other people’s dysfunction and drama doesn’t have to weigh down your spirit, and it doesn’t always have to be so difficult to deal with, especially with some spiritual support and backup.
The first rule to remember is that love works better than anything else. So, the first step should also be to offer the “drama royal” plenty of compassion.
Chances are the drama king or queen in your life is wounded in some way. Dysfunctional behavior and toxicity often stem from unresolved hurt or deep trauma.
Many people who exhibit dramatic or demanding tendencies often aren’t aware of how their behavior affects others. They may be caught in a cycle of emotional turmoil and, as a result, seek external validation through attention and theatricality. Rather than focusing on the label “drama,” it’s helpful to think of these behaviors as expressions of unresolved pain or unmet emotional or spiritual needs.
The Unresolved Karmic Bonds Between Souls
Have you ever found yourself thinking about an old friend or flame that you haven’t spoken to in years, and they suddenly show up in your life in the most unexpected place? This often happens when we are still energetically connected to someone.
There are invisible energy cords that connect us to many different souls across dimensions and incarnations. These karmic connections are deep soul bonds that transcend time and space and span multiple lifetimes.
Those we love (or hate) – whether a partner or spouse, family members, friends – are all karmically connected to us.
Karmic connections aren’t easily severed. They also don’t simply disappear when we physically part ways in this world. These invisible cords keep us tied to those we’ve loved, lost, or even hurt—until we consciously choose to break free.
Karmic connections continue across lifetimes unless they are consciously severed and dissolved. But these energetic cords of attachment can be difficult to break. We may believe that a relationship is over on a logical level, but energetically the connection remains.
When betrayal or heartache occurs, an energy cord remains between the heart chakras of both individuals, often leading to a recurring cycle of pain and energy depletion due to these lingering connections.
Traumatic events, emotional or sexual attachments, promises, contracts and vows all create strong connections between souls. We often feel a sense of unfinished business when a promise or vow is broken or left unfulfilled.
Always Pay Attention To The Signs
Paying attention to divine spiritual signs is essential to aligning with one’s highest good and purpose.
These signs, often subtle and easily overlooked, guide us along the paths that resonate most harmoniously with our true selves. By attuning ourselves to these spiritual signals, we can navigate life more effectively, avoiding pitfalls and embracing opportunities for growth and love.
But the journey is not always straightforward. Sometimes our desires and obsessions can cloud our judgment and lead us astray from the divine guidance that is trying to guide us.
One of the most common distractions is becoming obsessed with a person of interest. This obsession can create a narrow focus that blinds us to the signs and messages that point us toward true love and fulfillment.
It is easy to mistake intense attraction or infatuation for destiny and ‘meant to be,’ but these feelings are often the result of unmet emotional needs or unresolved past experiences rather than a genuine connection orchestrated by divine forces.
I have experienced this firsthand. There was a time when I was hopelessly in love with a man who, in retrospect, was not aligned with my highest good. My obsession with him was all consuming. I interpreted every little gesture, every word he spoke, as a sign that we were meant to be together. I convinced myself that our connection was fated, despite numerous red flags and gut feelings that suggested otherwise.
The Mystical Healing Power Of Flowers
If you were to walk into my garden in England, one of the first things you might notice is a beautiful hanging basket full of purple petunias. I put it there for a number of reasons, and not just to admire its beauty. No, it is where it is because of how it makes me feel.
The energy of flowers is metaphysically powerful and can help you achieve emotional and spiritual well-being. My purple petunias make me feel motivated and full of well-being.
Okay, this may seem like a bold statement, but flowers are truly magical in that they can help increase your productivity and overall happiness, soothe any sensitivities in your life, and motivate you at the same time. And yes, they can do this for you just by looking at them.
So, how do flowers work their magic on us? Mother Nature puts a lot of time and effort into creating beautiful flowers. In fact, a single flower can take weeks or even months to fully develop, making it the part of the plant with the highest energy vibration. When you work with such masterpieces of nature, you are indeed working with the most powerful and purest of energies.
Each flower carries its unique vibrational frequency, which interacts with our own energy fields. This interaction can lead to subtle yet profound changes in our mental, emotional and spiritual state. For example, the vibrant purple hue of petunias resonates with the crown chakra, enhancing our connection to higher consciousness and promoting a sense of peace and clarity. Similarly, the delicate structure and soothing colors of flowers like lavender can harmonize our energy, reducing stress and fostering relaxation.
Is Your Texting Pushing Him Away?
A new client recently contacted me about a promising romantic relationship. The first thing that became clear as I began to read for her was that she had a long history of dating men who seemed like potential long-term partners, but then suddenly disappeared or broke up with her after only a few months.
It quickly also became clear to me that texting was a significant factor in her dating problems. Misunderstandings due to texting have damaged the romantic, family, and friendship relationships of many people I have worked with as a psychic professional. This client was no exception.
As I read the energy around her situation, I sensed that she had a tendency to push men away by unnecessarily panicking when she did not feel completely in control. Guys can sense panic and controlling tendencies and for most men this is usually a big turnoff.
This kind of negative energy is also stressful and doesn’t improve the outcome of an uncertain situation. Excessive obsession, panic, and worry will not bring someone closer to you; in fact, it can push a potential long-term relationship away forever.
I then had to tell her that while I did see the potential for a long-term relationship in their connection, I didn’t currently see a long-term future for them if she continued with all the texting she was doing. I told her to take a step back, breathe, stop worrying so much, and definitely not try to resolve things through texting any more.