mourning
Unconditional Love From The Rainbow Bridge
Sometimes pet owners connect with the souls of their animals on a very deep level. We love them so much that when they finally depart from this life the grief and sadness can be just as agonizing as losing a human loved one. This was the case recently for me when we lost our beloved family cat.
I had to finally make the difficult decision to release him from his pain and suffering. And thus our ‘little black panther,’ as we call him, departed this world to cross the Rainbow Bridge.
He had been suffering with a malignant tumor under his tongue. Bone cancer we were told. Earlier this year, I knew there was something more going on after a dental appointment to have an infected tooth removed. His little chin continued to swell up and the antibiotics were not working.
We did all we could. We made sure he had the best, soft food, and lots of love. The faucet in the tub was left slightly open to drip, so he could have water from his favorite place to get it fresh and cold.
On the day he was to be euthanized, the Moon was in Capricorn. A Capricorn Moon is a time of seriousness, when duty calls. It is a lunar influence that requires us to make difficult, yet responsible decisions, and to remain steadfast and determined in doing what we know is best and necessary.
Our little black panther seemed carefree and at peace. He had been lying next to me all night on a nearby bookshelf. It was a very sunny day and the breeze felt nice to him as he sat up and looked out the open window. He was free of pain, as we had been giving him medication to make him more comfortable.
Two of his brothers took turns sitting next to him. We took our time to say our final goodbyes. We also prayed and even put some holy water on him. Did everything we could. Cried lots of tears. It was very difficult. So awfully hard.
Then the time came for us to take our boy in to the clinic. He sensed it was time and seemed relieved. Even his brother, who was born in the same batch of kittens a minute before him, seemed to understand it was time, as snuck out the door hoping to come with us. We had to unlock the door and put him back inside. I telepathically explained to him that this brother loves him and so do we, but he could not go with us…we would be back shortly.
Letting Go Heals Our Silent Pain
Too often we are not aware of the emotional pain in others. We are blissfully ignorant of the invisible pain that they are suffering. This is the secret pain of grief, of tragedy and loss. It is often the silent pain that many of us carry inside, a pain we secretly endure every day.
Our grief and sorrow is something we hide from the world, because we tend to feel ashamed, embarrassed or guilty for not being ‘stronger.’ The fast-paced modern world we live in has little patience with those who need time to mourn and heal. Life goes on, they say.
Those who are grieving must get through their pain as best they can, often without having anyone to talk to or no one wo cares to understand. They must simply put on a happy face and get through the day.
Sometimes people are having a hard time processing a loss or disappointment because they do not want to let go. Why would anyone choose to hold on to the pain, you may ask? Well, there is sometimes a strange comfort found in a state of holding on. When our world feels upside down and the future seems uncertain, we tend to hold on to the familiarity of the past, of the life we once knew.
The energy of such an ongoing state of silent pain soon becomes an imbalance in the throat chakra and blocks our ability to heal. The throat chakra plays a very big part, because it is our energy center of truth, the seat of our power to communicate our free will and talk about our true feelings.
Suppressed mental and emotional pain in time manifests itself in our body in many debilitating ways, such as migraine headaches, stomach aches, physical discomfort and a variety of other symptoms and potential health problems. Only when the pain is addressed and processed, will it go away and will our well-being improve.
Now Is The Time To Celebrate Life!
The time has come to recognize how far we have come and celebrate the sheer joy and privilege to be alive. Although Covid-19 is still around, and I personally know several people who are just now recovering from the illness, we are in a much better position now than a year or two ago. We have a lot to be grateful for as we start to work our way towards the future.
So, let’s celebrate! While still taking appropriate precautions, it is wonderful to be able to go out again, eat in restaurants and shop inside stores. A feeling of lightness is everywhere these days, with people really appreciating the ability to get back to some semblance of normal.
I see people smiling and laughing again while they are out and about, doing their daily errands, meeting friends, and attending functions and events. It seems even strangers are friendlier and more open to positive conversation and a more optimistic outlook nowadays. What a welcome change!
It is particularly satisfying to focus on and reconnect in person with the people who are important in our lives and make us feel happy. This year Mother’s Day was especially meaningful for many of us. It is always a beautiful opportunity to showcase the love for our mothers, both those who are still with us in this life, as well as those in spirit.
However, spirit impresses on me that honoring our mothers should happen more consistently than just one day per year. Each May, many of us resolve to show our love and respect all year through. So, how are we doing so far? Are we still honoring our mothers long after her special day is over?
A quick call, some surprise flowers, a little gift for ‘no reason’ are all lovely gestures that don’t take a lot of time or money, but can mean the world to mom, or stepmom, grandma or other maternal role-models who have touched our lives.
Asking ‘Why’ When A Loved One Is Lost
When you lose someone you love in a sudden, unexpected way, such as suicide, a car accident, murder, or domestic violence, it always seems so unfair and tragic. It is usually so difficult to understand why this had to happen?
The truth is that we will never truly know the ‘why’ of things. The biggest regret that I hear from so many bereaved people is that they never had a chance to say goodbye.
Someone passing due to old age or illness usually affords us the time to prepare for the loss and to say our goodbyes. Typically, you will haves some time with the person, to be kinder, to be compassionate and to let them know how much they are loved. A sudden passing robs us of all of this.
I am personally very aware of the emotions, feelings and experiences that come after a loved one’s life is lost so suddenly and unexpectedly. More than a decade ago, I lost my stepson to suicide. He was only 32 years old. Within 2 days of this tragedy, a another local young man also took his life. He was only 22.
The widespread trauma of the pandemic over this past year has brought back many of these feelings for me. Many people I know, all men, have taken their own lives because they have lost their jobs, businesses or life partners. Some of these men were successful business owners, but the lockdowns triggered something inside of them that led them to think suicide was a better way, or the only way out.
I talk to an abuse counselor at least two to three times a month and we discuss the unavailability of abused women to get help, because the shelters that are there to protect them are usually full to capacity. I personally know two women whose lives were tragically ended by an abusive partner or ex-partner who they just could not get away from. You read about these cases almost every day. It makes zero sense if you try to find the logic in it.
And accidents happen in the blink of an eye. Yesterday, it was two locals snowmobiling in our area, who hit each other head on. One passed instantly, the other suffered only minor injuries. The week before it was a tractor trailer hitting a car that pulled out in front of it. The truck driver is fine, but the car and passenger is no longer with us. Continue reading
Healing The Pain Of Losing Your Beloved
Understanding the true nature of our soul journey, how does one cope with the pain of physical separation when our loved ones leave the physical form? There is no easy way to cope with the grief of separation from a beloved. It opens the water ways of deep emotion that rise and fall like the waves on the sea.
Even in the super-excellent times of Radha and Krishna, the supreme divine feminine and masculine described in the ancient spiritual texts of Srimad-Bhagavatam, waves of love in separation were displayed and described to the ultimate pure degree. These transcendental writings identifies the eternal realm of divine love as the original clear source of all that we experience here in a dimly reflected form, including the pain of being parted from the physical presence of a dear soulmate.
So, what can we learn from this source that we can mirror in undergoing this heart aching distress in our own lives?
The first lesson we can take away from the transcendental example is that pain in separation is a gift of love. It arises in direct proportion to the depth of the soul-to-soul connection shared between two people. Thus, every pang, however painful, is like an ornament decorating the heart with the truth of that blessed union. It embodies a reminder not only of the person, but of the great treasure we were fortunate to hold in our arms…and still in our hearts. It invites us to feel grateful for the rare opportunity we had received to experience such deep love in this world. Continue reading
The Novel Coronavirus And The New Earth
We have all been going through a very difficult time, dealing with the new coronavirus disease, lockdowns and loss of livelihoods. We have heard many people complain about everyday inconveniences, discomfort, the lack of normality, and even seen some acting nasty towards others in the supermarket.
We have also had many reports of celebrities and public figures safely recovering from Covid-19. But what is seldom acknowledged is the actual suffering and deaths of people who have contracted the virus. I have personally had people around me become sick, and I feel it may promote greater awareness and compassion by bringing some attention to it. Many people are bereaved and currently in mourning, and their grief is not sufficiently respected and acknowledged.
One thing I can assure you from personal experience is that this new disease is no hoax, and certainly no joke either. My own son contracted the virus a while ago. He works as a seafood chef. His restaurant had been crazy busy with all of the take-out orders they have been delivering. A fellow chef, who works the evening shift, came down with this virus, and sadly he passed away due to complications. He was only 37 years old.
Soon after that chef became ill, about 10 days later, my son suddenly also had symptoms, including troubled breathing and a fever. He was home for three weeks. Happy to say, he did recover, but I was a wreck. Before he went back to work, he had to be cleared by the Department of Health.
Memorialize Loved Ones With A Remembrance Table
I have a remembrance table in my home where I display framed pictures of my grandparents, as well as some of the possessions they passed on to me. My eclectic collection also includes a few candles, angel figurines, some essential oils, Grandma’s favorite perfume, grandpa’s favorite cologne, as well as two trees on either side of the table, which I always decorate for the holidays.
My grandparents really enjoyed the holidays. They especially celebrated Halloween and Christmas, their two favorite holidays of the year. The other holidays were also a great time to be at their house, but Halloween and Christmas were always the best!
I believe having a remembrance table, or ancestor altar, really helps to connect us with our loved ones, after they’ve crossed over. I personally don’t worship my ancestors, but I do honor them. You don’t just have to make a remembrance table at a loved one’s funeral, or at weddings or family gatherings. You can make it a permanent part of your home decor, and have it there all year long.
I love the idea of the remembrance table because a funeral should not be the only time you celebrate the life of a deceased loved one. It’s a great way to honor them and the wonderful memories you have to create with them when they were alive.
I’ve put special photographs from different times in their life that were especially joyous and memorable. Family was everything to them, so many of the pictures also include other relatives, such as uncles and their other grandchildren.
