mourning
Asking ‘Why’ When A Loved One Is Lost
When you lose someone you love in a sudden, unexpected way, such as suicide, a car accident, murder, or domestic violence, it always seems so unfair and tragic. It is usually so difficult to understand why this had to happen?
The truth is that we will never truly know the ‘why’ of things. The biggest regret that I hear from so many bereaved people is that they never had a chance to say goodbye.
Someone passing due to old age or illness usually affords us the time to prepare for the loss and to say our goodbyes. Typically, you will haves some time with the person, to be kinder, to be compassionate and to let them know how much they are loved. A sudden passing robs us of all of this.
I am personally very aware of the emotions, feelings and experiences that come after a loved one’s life is lost so suddenly and unexpectedly. More than a decade ago, I lost my stepson to suicide. He was only 32 years old. Within 2 days of this tragedy, a another local young man also took his life. He was only 22.
The widespread trauma of the pandemic over this past year has brought back many of these feelings for me. Many people I know, all men, have taken their own lives because they have lost their jobs, businesses or life partners. Some of these men were successful business owners, but the lockdowns triggered something inside of them that led them to think suicide was a better way, or the only way out.
I talk to an abuse counselor at least two to three times a month and we discuss the unavailability of abused women to get help, because the shelters that are there to protect them are usually full to capacity. I personally know two women whose lives were tragically ended by an abusive partner or ex-partner who they just could not get away from. You read about these cases almost every day. It makes zero sense if you try to find the logic in it.
And accidents happen in the blink of an eye. Yesterday, it was two locals snowmobiling in our area, who hit each other head on. One passed instantly, the other suffered only minor injuries. The week before it was a tractor trailer hitting a car that pulled out in front of it. The truck driver is fine, but the car and passenger is no longer with us. Continue reading
Healing The Pain Of Losing Your Beloved
Understanding the true nature of our soul journey, how does one cope with the pain of physical separation when our loved ones leave the physical form? There is no easy way to cope with the grief of separation from a beloved. It opens the water ways of deep emotion that rise and fall like the waves on the sea.
Even in the super-excellent times of Radha and Krishna, the supreme divine feminine and masculine described in the ancient spiritual texts of Srimad-Bhagavatam, waves of love in separation were displayed and described to the ultimate pure degree. These transcendental writings identifies the eternal realm of divine love as the original clear source of all that we experience here in a dimly reflected form, including the pain of being parted from the physical presence of a dear soulmate.
So, what can we learn from this source that we can mirror in undergoing this heart aching distress in our own lives?
The first lesson we can take away from the transcendental example is that pain in separation is a gift of love. It arises in direct proportion to the depth of the soul-to-soul connection shared between two people. Thus, every pang, however painful, is like an ornament decorating the heart with the truth of that blessed union. It embodies a reminder not only of the person, but of the great treasure we were fortunate to hold in our arms…and still in our hearts. It invites us to feel grateful for the rare opportunity we had received to experience such deep love in this world. Continue reading
The Novel Coronavirus And The New Earth
We have all been going through a very difficult time, dealing with the new coronavirus disease, lockdowns and loss of livelihoods. We have heard many people complain about everyday inconveniences, discomfort, the lack of normality, and even seen some acting nasty towards others in the supermarket.
We have also had many reports of celebrities and public figures safely recovering from Covid-19. But what is seldom acknowledged is the actual suffering and deaths of people who have contracted the virus. I have personally had people around me become sick, and I feel it may promote greater awareness and compassion by bringing some attention to it. Many people are bereaved and currently in mourning, and their grief is not sufficiently respected and acknowledged.
One thing I can assure you from personal experience is that this new disease is no hoax, and certainly no joke either. My own son contracted the virus a while ago. He works as a seafood chef. His restaurant had been crazy busy with all of the take-out orders they have been delivering. A fellow chef, who works the evening shift, came down with this virus, and sadly he passed away due to complications. He was only 37 years old.
Soon after that chef became ill, about 10 days later, my son suddenly also had symptoms, including troubled breathing and a fever. He was home for three weeks. Happy to say, he did recover, but I was a wreck. Before he went back to work, he had to be cleared by the Department of Health.
Memorialize Loved Ones With A Remembrance Table
I have a remembrance table in my home where I display framed pictures of my grandparents, as well as some of the possessions they passed on to me. My eclectic collection also includes a few candles, angel figurines, some essential oils, Grandma’s favorite perfume, grandpa’s favorite cologne, as well as two trees on either side of the table, which I always decorate for the holidays.
My grandparents really enjoyed the holidays. They especially celebrated Halloween and Christmas, their two favorite holidays of the year. The other holidays were also a great time to be at their house, but Halloween and Christmas were always the best!
I believe having a remembrance table, or ancestor altar, really helps to connect us with our loved ones, after they’ve crossed over. I personally don’t worship my ancestors, but I do honor them. You don’t just have to make a remembrance table at a loved one’s funeral, or at weddings or family gatherings. You can make it a permanent part of your home decor, and have it there all year long.
I love the idea of the remembrance table because a funeral should not be the only time you celebrate the life of a deceased loved one. It’s a great way to honor them and the wonderful memories you have to create with them when they were alive.
I’ve put special photographs from different times in their life that were especially joyous and memorable. Family was everything to them, so many of the pictures also include other relatives, such as uncles and their other grandchildren.
Pet Mediumship And Animal Communication
Some of the most beautiful messages I’ve received in my capacity as a medium, are those from departed pets. They come through with messages of love, thanks, and reassurance that they still walk beside their human companions in spirit. They also offer words of wisdom and insight into the life of their owners, as seen from their perspective.
It is profound to feel and experience the ongoing love of a pet from the other side. Grieving the loss of a pet, is a grief that is often unacknowledged or understood. Yet it is real, and important to share and move through.
It has been two years since we said goodbye to our beloved family dog, Lucy. She passed just before her 17th birthday, and I can never put into words how much love and joy she brought us. By sharing how she assisted me in communicating with her, while she was alive, as well as after her passing, it is my hope that her story may assist you in feeling a deeper connection to your own pets on the Other Side.
Lucy’s story all began when we went shopping, just before Christmas of 1999. Our intention for the trip was to buy storage boxes for a pending move. Instead, we returned home with a puppy in a box! She bounded into our lives and hearts that day. Continue reading
Shamanic Shape Shifting Of Departed Loved Ones
Crows do not symbolize doom and gloom as portrayed in some myths and movies. They are a symbol of magic, intelligence, keen communication, and much more. They can see far into the spirit realm and bring messages for those who are open to receiving them. So, if a crow appears to you, use your intuition to truly receive the messages it brings.
Crows often carry the energy of a loved one that has passed, and honor you with the loved one’s presence and sometimes also gifts. It’s called transference. It is a sacred shift of energy. If you have a crow making herself known immediately after a beloved’s passing, rest assured it is, in fact, the presence of your lost love. Respect this transformation with gratitude.
Generally, transference occurs between physical vessels that are similar, making the transference easier for the passed loved one to make the shift. There are exceptions, however, and crow is one of the most common physical vessels used – in great part due to their innate intelligence and ability to soar between dimensions.
It’s all about love in the final analysis. Your loved one left you because there were no other options, due to circumstances of life. Although, too often, they hang on, even while suffering, waiting for a vessel to transfer into. In fact, some won’t leave, regardless, until they have the vessel they need, whether it meets their preferred specifications, or not. They prefer to see or meet the new vessel before they pass, so they know how to best make the shift.
Connecting With Deceased Loved Ones
When a loved one dies, it is never easy. It is always traumatic to lose someone who we have lived with, taken care of, loved and nurtured – be it a partner, spouse, parent, sibling, relative or friend. The feeling of them suddenly no longer being here can be devastating. Even their little quirks, which sometimes annoyed you when they were alive, is forever missed. We suddenly miss everything about them!
Thankfully, the spirit of those we love remain very much alive after their passing. Despite the ‘vehicle they drove around in,’ namely their physical body, may no longer be around, their spirit is still around. They can hear and see us, and they can feel our emotions.
I can tell you that when we call our loved one’s name, they are with us. When we pray for them, they appreciate it. Greatly. The two best things you can do is pray for your loved ones and say their name out loud. Continue to talk to them. And when you talk to them, they respond through sending you thoughts and signs. They also come to us in the dream state when we are sleeping. Write them a letter and put it under your pillow, and try to remember your astral travels the next day.
Your loved ones are never far from you. Love is the energy that keeps us connected with our loved ones. Sometimes they will give you a little visit. Remember to ask and you shall receive. Knock and that door will open.