bereavement
The Dealbreakers And Dealmakers Of Dating
Dating has changed a lot in recent years, especially with the advent of social media and dating apps. But one thing that has not changed is that most people still want to meet someone special to share their lives with.
I had to venture back into the dating scene myself after my husband passed away several years ago. At first, I had absolutely no interest in meeting someone new, but after a long period of grieving, healing, and self-reflection, I finally realized that I did not want or need to be alone for the rest of my life.
I remember so many people giving me dating and relationship advice after I became a widow. They particularly advised me not to remarry, especially at my age. “Trust me, you don’t need the headaches and drama,” they all said. “You’ll never find someone as good as him,” one predicted. “It’s a toxic war zone out there,” lamented another. Relatives, friends, and even neighbors all had something negative or skeptical to say.
While I appreciated everyone’s concern and well-meant intentions at the time, I decided to stay true to myself and trust my inner guidance. You see, I already knew something they did not.
Spirit revealed to me toward the end of my grieving period that I would eventually meet someone new, but that I would have to take the necessary steps to make it happen. My future partner was not going to miraculously show up at my door. I had to put myself out there to meet him.
How To Truly Honor Our Departed Loved Ones
I attended a service recently at the local spiritualist centre that I found particularly meaningful. One of the spirit messages channeled by a visiting medium was for a recently bereaved man in the congregation. The grieving gentleman had been dealing with many mixed emotions since the passing of his spouse.
At first the medium provided the man with undeniable evidence that it was indeed his late wife who was making contact. She relayed several factual details and personal memories that only the man and his wife could possibly know of. This was especially evident from the amazed expression on his face in reaction to everything the medium was saying.
The deceased wife then admitted to being somewhat of a ‘firecracker’ during their 50-year marriage. She further confessed that towards the end of her life she had become especially difficult to deal with and said many hurtful things to him. She acknowledged that despite her unkind behavior he consistently remained patient with her and thanked him for his kindness and forbearance.
The man then confirmed that his late wife had suffered a series of mini-strokes that altered her mental state. She had also been prescribed medication that further affected her mood and behavior in a negative way. The wife then asked for his forgiveness and encouraged him to stop focusing so much on the negative memories of their final months together.
“She is asking you to please think more often of your special moments together,” said the medium.
Spirit Meets Us In The Middle
About three decades ago, a friend’s father passed away. I had only met him once, and very briefly. Several months after his passing, he came to me in dream with an important message for my friend. I asked, why me? He explained that I was the only person in her life that he could reach.
Her father’s telepathic communication was, however, coming in so fast and symbolically complex that I could not keep up with what he was saying. This is the nature of this world. The energy density here is so heavy and slow, while spirit energy is light, quick, and highly advanced.
To assist me with my understanding, and also help me remember his message later, he showed me in the dream how he was ‘recording it as voicemail message.’ This enabled my mind to slow the message down. I was able to replay it slowly at my level of human understanding.
I later relayed the ‘decoded’ message to my friend. He wanted her to know that he was aware that she had been suffering much grief after his passing, but that he wished for her to move on. “I am still with you and still love you, but it is time for you to start living your life to the fullest again,” he said.
She was very grateful and relieved to receive his message. She cried and it clearly touched her. She then told me that she had attended a grief support group that same night I had the visitation dream. She had decided to give it a try, as she was struggling to process her loss and did not know how to move forward.
Time To Start Living Your Best Life!
This past three years have been difficult on many levels for all of us, whether it be financially, emotionally, physically, or mentally. It has been a difficult time for even the most happy-go-lucky people among us.
Most of my clients have lost someone or something of significance in their lives, whether it be their personal freedom, their peace of mind, their health, their job or business, or a loved one. Some have tragically even lost everything, or in some cases everyone.
Thankfully, many of these people have been picking up the pieces and moving forward with their lives. Some are however still struggling. The one thing I have noticed with those who continue to suffer is that they seem to have given up on life. They appear to have lost their desire to live, or simply to get out of bed each day. But no matter what our circumstances may be, this is the one thing we must never allow ourselves to do as spiritual beings in human form.
If you find yourself still struggling, understand that you have a great strength inside of you that will always carry you to new heights if you just allow it. Understand that this challenging period in our history was meant to teach us what truly matters and what is most important in life. It was also meant to help us release the things that no longer serve us.
It is time to shift your energy. Time to take a good hard look at where you are at, where you have been, and where you ultimately want to be. Each day, declare, “Today is the first day of the rest of my amazing life. I am powerful, smart, and strong. I can do, be or have whatever I set my mind to.”
Time Truly Does Heal All
Time truly does heal all. With time most things do get a little easier or less bad than it originally appeared. And most of the things we worry about usually never happen. Time does have a way of making it better, so we can move on and experience other things.
Time doesn’t make it go away, but it does help us to eventually see things in another perspective or from a different angle. It always ends up filling in the blanks.
Time is also a great teacher. In time, we learn a lot from the many challenging situations and experiences we go through. There is no failing. Only learning. Overcoming the setbacks and hurdles that live brings is never easy or without pain, but there is always learning and growth. We especially become more grateful and there is always soul growth.
Some losses and traumas require more time than others. We should never rush our healing. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. The most important self-healing and personal growth is supposed to take longer.
There are many ways time can heal. It can help us heal through taking the time to learn a new sport or art form, or joining a support group or recreational club that connects with others. It is important to keep busy and talk with others who are maybe going through the same thing as you. Through connecting with others, we can heal them, and they can heal us, through just listening and talking.
Making Peace With Nature’s Plan
Nature’s plan is perfect, whether we understand it, or not. I have been distraught by this much of my life. I have also over-thought it at times, especially when I see animals suffering in nature, or the damage sometimes done to fauna and flora by raging wildfires, floods, and other natural forces.
I often ask myself what the lesson is in all of this for me? Why am I sometimes so profoundly upset by the way nature take its natural course? Apart from humanity’s awful neglect, exploitation and abuse of animals and natural resources, I have often also questioned nature itself, and how animals can be so cruel in their treatment of one another – and not always just for the sake of survival.
I have looked into the subject for some kind of resolution or understanding as to why nature is designed this way. The teachings of Emmanuel, as channeled by Pat Rhodegast, insist that nature’s plan is perfect and that each creature chose the role of predator or victim for the experience it would bring them in their own evolution process.
The Amazing Afterlife of Animals by Karen Anderson suggests that an animal will never depart this world before its their time to go, and that when it is their time to leave, they often prefer to be alone. They wander off and find a secluded place to end their lifespan naturally. They may even be chased away by other members of the herd, or other family pets. This is nature’s way.
This was the case in my home very recently. Ten days prior to my youngest cat, Prince, becoming really ill, my smallest female cat, who never liked Prince, was marking her territory and trying to keep him away from her food. She was hissing at him and tried to chase him out of the house.
Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.
