victim mentality
Seeing The Spiritual Essence In Others
My world was turned upside down when my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. For seven agonizing months in 2005, I became his caregiver, managing the extreme emotional and physical toll of his illness.
Even the hospice staff, experienced in end-of-life care, commented at the time that my father was not an easy patient to care for. Their observation confirmed my own feelings on the matter and highlighted the unique challenges of the difficult karmic relationship I had with my father.
Throughout this stressful time, I held out hope for a miracle. I felt compelled to seek guidance, but unfortunately Spirit revealed a timeline of six to twelve months. This devastated me at the time, but I’ve since come to accept that arrivals and departures are part of every soul’s journey. Spirit was simply confirming a poignant truth: at some point we are all called home to the spirit realm.
Despite his resistance to any form of treatment, my father allowed a trusted colleague of mine, a master in his healing modality, to visit our home weekly for body alignment sessions. These sessions became a turning point — not only for my father, but for me as well.
During their second session, my healer friend shared an observation that struck a deep chord. He sensed an immense amount of bitterness and resentment in my father, energies he had perceived without any prior knowledge of my father’s emotional state or life history. He then offered me a piece of wisdom that changed the way I viewed not only my father, but all of my relationships: “Try to see only the true spiritual essence that is your father.”
How To Deal With Toxic Drama Royalty
These days, there is drama, crazy-making and toxic behavior everywhere you turn. And it’s not just on social media and public transportation…many of us have to deal with people in our personal and professional lives who are overly demanding, entitled, melodramatic, mean-spirited, always in victim mode, or just plain unhinged.
Sadly, many of these spiritually handicapped souls are people close to us, people we care deeply about. It can be daunting to deal with their toxic actions and volatile behaviors, and trying to ignore them is exhausting and even impossible in the long run.
But other people’s dysfunction and drama doesn’t have to weigh down your spirit, and it doesn’t always have to be so difficult to deal with, especially with some spiritual support and backup.
The first rule to remember is that love works better than anything else. So, the first step should also be to offer the “drama royal” plenty of compassion.
Chances are the drama king or queen in your life is wounded in some way. Dysfunctional behavior and toxicity often stem from unresolved hurt or deep trauma.
Many people who exhibit dramatic or demanding tendencies often aren’t aware of how their behavior affects others. They may be caught in a cycle of emotional turmoil and, as a result, seek external validation through attention and theatricality. Rather than focusing on the label “drama,” it’s helpful to think of these behaviors as expressions of unresolved pain or unmet emotional or spiritual needs.
I Am Soaring Free
When I do readings for clients to help guide them through the struggles or confusion they face in their lives, I understand what they are going through. I can relate on a deeply personal level, because I have been there myself, and I have experienced more than most.
Back in 2004, I had reached a devastating point in my life where my confidence, happiness, courage and self-worth were essentially non-existent. Fortunately, I was able to overcome those challenges with the guidance of spirit, and I now know from hard-earned experience that we can overcome much adversity.
As part of this journey of growth and healing, one of my guides gave me my spiritual name: Soaring Free.
Everyone has at least three guides in their lives. There are other guides and guardians that come and go in our lives, but the primary three stay with us throughout our lives to support and guide us.
It was my main guide who gave me my spirit name in a dream. I was to be known as “Soaring Free.” When I asked what this meant, I was shown that my life was to change direction significantly and that I was to live it as if I were soaring free like an eagle every day. I received several profound messages to awaken me at that time. It brought me to a higher level of understanding (and much confusion at first) than ever before.
What was the meaning of all this, I wondered? Why did I need a new name? Were these guides coming into my life real or just my imagination? Was I losing my mind? Was I really hearing and seeing these things, or was it just my own subconscious playing tricks on me? I had many questions at the time, and so began my journey of awakening and transformation.
What Reality Will You Create Today?
In this lifetime, it is important to remember that we are all the creators of our own realities, as well as the co-creators of our shared reality.
This means that as an individual we have the divine gift of free will. Free will is our personal power to make our own choices in life. It is one of the most important and valuable aspects of human existence because it allows us to determine our own fate and shape our own destiny.
Without free will, we would not be autonomous and responsible spiritual beings in human form. Instead, we would be robots, pre-programmed to act in a certain way. Being born with free will allows us to make moral choices, to love and be loved, and to create our own unique paths in life.
Of course, with free will comes responsibility and accountability. We are responsible for our own thoughts and actions, both good and bad. We must therefore think carefully about our choices and make sure that we are acting not only for our own highest good, but also for the greater good.
Free will also does not mean that we are completely free from the constraints of external circumstances and worldly influences. We also share a collective free will with the rest of humanity. Just as we create our own daily reality and shape our individual destiny, we also co-create a shared global reality with the rest of the world.
Transform Your Life With Sustainable Resolutions
Every new year, I hear my clients complain about what they hope to change about themselves, what they want to change about themselves, or what they should be changing about themselves.
I then ask them why they are not claiming their power to change right now?
You do not have to wait until the New Year or some other major life event to make a change in your life. Once you’ve decided on a new path or course of action, the key is to stick with it for the long haul, taking small steps every day.
The Japanese call this kaizen, a philosophical concept that emphasizes continuous improvement, often in small increments. The idea is that by making consistent progress, even if it is just a little bit each day, you can eventually achieve significant results.
Sustainability should be the ultimate goal of whatever you decide to change in your life. While New Year’s resolutions are all noble and lofty, you have to acknowledge the inherent resistances and blockages you carry within and agree to be patient with yourself in order to ultimately get there.
I’m still working on some New Year’s resolutions I made in 2016. Do I look back in horror and say, “Why is it taking so long?” or “I really should be doing better!” Sometimes, yes! Do I use that as an excuse to backslide, fall off the wagon, or throw in the towel? Not at all, mostly because I’ve come to realize that if I hadn’t decided years ago to make those resolutions to make powerful changes in my life, I’d still be where I was, or worse. I’d be living a life of regret, not progress.
Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires
People have the power to either energize or drain us because we are all energetic spiritual beings in human form. This is especially true if you are highly sensitive and empathic.
Energy vampires are people who mostly unintentionally drain or ‘steal’ the energy of others, leaving everyone they interact with feeling mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually drained, even depressed.
Although they may not be intentionally malicious or evil, their dysfunctional personalities and toxic behavior patterns can have a detrimental effect on our health and well-being.
Energy thieves are everywhere, from the workplace to our social circles. Understanding their effects and protecting yourself from their toxicity is critical to mental and emotional well-being.
It is important to recognize the signs and patterns in your interactions with these people. There are many signs that you may be the victim of an energy vampire. Some of the most common indicators include feeling drained or exhausted, having a change in mood or energy level, or difficulty concentrating or making decisions after spending time with someone. You may also feel that you are always giving and never receiving from someone, or that you are being used or manipulated by them.
Comparison Poisons The Heart, Mind And Soul
When we are going through difficult times, we tend to compare our struggles and suffering to the lives of others and measure ourselves by their perceived happiness, joy and success.
We often do this these days by comparing our own lives to what others post on social media. Then we judge and mentally torture ourselves for not living up to other people’s highlight reels of happiness and good fortune.
Sure, it is sometimes beneficial to self-reflect and strive for more based on the examples of others who serve as our role models. However, when we indiscriminately compare our own life journey to everyone else’s, we end up diminishing our own uniqueness and value.
While social comparison can motivate us to improve and grow, it can also lead to toxic self-judgment, envy, resentment, and extreme unhappiness. Constantly focusing on the highlights of other people’s lives quickly becomes toxic and self-destructive.
However, this tendency is not a character flaw in some of us. In fact, it is a natural evolutionary instinct that we all have. Our ancestors survived by living in social groups. Our tendency to compare ourselves to others is therefore a very common human trait, rooted in our evolution as a species.