instinct
The Constant Battle Of Head Versus Heart
Have you ever second-guessed yourself, done or said something that went against your gut, only to realize in retrospect that your initial feeling or hunch was right? Had you acted differently, it could have saved you a lot of heartache and loss, emotionally, physically or financially?
If you have ever been in this position, know that you are not alone. The “head versus heart” dilemma can be very confusing and frustrating. Many of my clients struggle with it and some experience a great deal of confusion, stress and emotional discomfort as a result.
When faced with difficult decisions or challenging situations, we usually have a good sense of what the best course of action might be. But then we tend to look for concrete evidence to support our feelings and intuitive hunches, and when we cannot find any, which is often the case, our heads take precedence over our hearts. So we end up discounting our feelings and intuitions, usually to our own detriment.
The struggle between head and heart is a common theme in philosophy, literature, art, and popular culture, as we all regularly experience inner conflicts between reason and emotion, logic and intuition, responsibility and passion.
The Transformative Power Of Vulnerability
I find that spirit wants to remind us that vulnerability offers us a special kind of magic in our lives. It is a theme that comes up regularly in psychic readings I do for my clients.
Vulnerability can transform lives, careers, relationships and families in profound ways. But for many of us, life has taught us that being vulnerable is a ‘weakness’ that puts us at risk.
Many of us have built walls around ourselves to protect ourselves because we feel we risk rejection, judgment, or failure if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The ego tells us it’s best not to take those risks at all!
Instead, we harden our hearts and keep our distance, choosing to figure out what others might think, feel or do before we are willing to put ourselves out there in any way.
But by shying away from being open, authentic, and transparent with our thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and desires, we actually block the very outcomes in life that we hope for.
So, how do you get more comfortable opening up and allowing yourself to be authentic and vulnerable? And how does that open you up to the very results you want to manifest in your life?
Comparison Poisons The Heart, Mind And Soul
When we are going through difficult times, we tend to compare our struggles and suffering to the lives of others and measure ourselves by their perceived happiness, joy and success.
We often do this these days by comparing our own lives to what others post on social media. Then we judge and mentally torture ourselves for not living up to other people’s highlight reels of happiness and good fortune.
Sure, it is sometimes beneficial to self-reflect and strive for more based on the examples of others who serve as our role models. However, when we indiscriminately compare our own life journey to everyone else’s, we end up diminishing our own uniqueness and value.
While social comparison can motivate us to improve and grow, it can also lead to toxic self-judgment, envy, resentment, and extreme unhappiness. Constantly focusing on the highlights of other people’s lives quickly becomes toxic and self-destructive.
However, this tendency is not a character flaw in some of us. In fact, it is a natural evolutionary instinct that we all have. Our ancestors survived by living in social groups. Our tendency to compare ourselves to others is therefore a very common human trait, rooted in our evolution as a species.
Don’t Let Fear Destroy Your Inner Peace
I did a reading today in which I channeled information that I feel is very relevant to many people.
I was counseling a client about the recurring conflict in her life, especially in her relationships. She had been experiencing repetitive scenarios of negative interactions with people and wanted to understand why this keeps happening.
Spirit delivered the following message for her benefit.
Human conflict is meant to inspire personal growth and soul evolution. If there had been no conflict in our evolutionary process on this planet, the highest form of life would be bacteria. There is a need for conflict to produce evolution and expansion.
In the human experience, conflict is integral to our personal spiritual enlightenment, as well as to our next stage of evolution as a species. Much of the conflict we experience in this life is mental and emotional conflict caused by interpersonal relationships.
The goal, however, is to learn the lessons that these conflicts teach us and to transcend its low vibrational energies.This is because the next stage of human evolution is the attainment of a higher level of consciousness. Each person’s outer world is expressed through their level of inner wisdom and soul growth.
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
Only You Can Achieve Your Goals
The indigenous peoples of Canada traditionally believe that those born under the Budding Trees Moon (which occurs in the spring months of mid-March to mid-April) have incredible potential to excel in whatever goals they choose for their life. However, it is also said that some of these blessed individuals may be unwise in their expectations of their own abilities, which may slow their progress, or even prevent them from moving forward at all.
It is further believed that this may also happen if they tell a friend or family member what they are hoping to achieve in life, and them not being supportive. Instead of encouraging them, and expressing their faith in their abilities, they might instead call them an unrealistic dreamer or sceptically say they will believe it when they see it. Yes, sadly, it is usually those who are supposed to be our primary support system in life who tend to not believe in us, and least support our dreams.
There is much wisdom in the teachings of the ancient aboriginal peoples. Yes, we can achieve whatever we set our mind to, and anything is indeed possible, but we must also be mindful of our expectations. It does not matter what the goal itself is; what matters most is our own expectations of being able to achieve it.
If we do not believe in our own abilities to achieve even our most modest goals, we will continuously suffer from self-doubt, feel overwhelmed, and never feel worthy enough.
No matter what we choose to aim for in life, it is simply that: a choice. Your choice. No one can stop you, except yourself, and nobody else can get into your head to put you down, unless you let them. No matter what choice you are making, you must also stand behind it every step of the way.
The Paradigm Shift Of An Awakening World
Most people respond more strongly to negative than they do to positive news or events. No matter how hard some of us may try to live with grace and gratitude by looking at the brighter side of life, a piece of bad news, malignant gossip, or fear-inducing information is a lot easier to run with than good news. We also react to someone else’s bad behavior much more strongly than their good conduct. We seldom praise or sincerely compliment, but we are quick to judge and criticize.
Case in point is my own experience working as the curator at fine art galleries some years ago. Ten clients would be nice and easy to please, but if the eleventh person was having a bad day they would be the one to get most of my attention. I’ve since gotten a lot better at being able to tune out the negativity and drama resulting from low vibrational frequencies, but it still remains impossible for me not to be affected by it from time to time.
Due to our innate survival instinct as humans beings we are simply incapable of ignoring negativity – or in a more enlightened scope, not give energy to it. This is understandable, as our first instinct is usually to protect ourselves by knowing if bad things may be happening.
But, so many people seem to absolutely thrive on every possible fragment of negativity, fear or drama they can find. From messy family quarrels, feuds with neighbors, and rude, unkind behavior in public places, to the brutal, senseless wars that continue to be fought since time immemorial. Every bit of it is and has been based on human reactions to slights, hurts and trespasses – some of it petty and even imagined.