comparison
Comparison Poisons The Heart, Mind And Soul
When we are going through difficult times, we tend to compare our struggles and suffering to the lives of others and measure ourselves by their perceived happiness, joy and success.
We often do this these days by comparing our own lives to what others post on social media. Then we judge and mentally torture ourselves for not living up to other people’s highlight reels of happiness and good fortune.
Sure, it is sometimes beneficial to self-reflect and strive for more based on the examples of others who serve as our role models. However, when we indiscriminately compare our own life journey to everyone else’s, we end up diminishing our own uniqueness and value.
While social comparison can motivate us to improve and grow, it can also lead to toxic self-judgment, envy, resentment, and extreme unhappiness. Constantly focusing on the highlights of other people’s lives quickly becomes toxic and self-destructive.
However, this tendency is not a character flaw in some of us. In fact, it is a natural evolutionary instinct that we all have. Our ancestors survived by living in social groups. Our tendency to compare ourselves to others is therefore a very common human trait, rooted in our evolution as a species.
The Lucky Penny
My son is an old soul. He is intuitive and deeply spiritual. He communicates with his guides on a daily basis. He tells me he has gut feelings that often come true. He has had prophetic dreams. He ‘reads my mind’ all the time!
I love sharing magical things with him. For example, I taught him the traditional rhyme, “Find a penny, pick it up; all day long you’ll have good luck,” and he has been eagerly looking for pennies ever since. This makes me happy, as it teaches him to be aware of the world around him and to find the magic in everyday life.
By the way, I recently learned that the penny rhyme was originally “See a pin, pick it up, all day the day you’ll have good luck.” Apparently, this was a reference to an old pagan ritual in which a pin could be used as a good luck charm. The belief was that a dropped pin may have been used in such a magic spell and would therefore bring good fortune to the person who found it.
A while ago, I also told my son about an incident when, at the age of 11, my guides told me that they were sending me a gift. The next day, in a cow field, I found a sterling silver children’s ring with a Native American design engraved on it. He has been asking me ever since when he will also get a gift from his guides. He has found some coins on the ground, but they are always upside down (not a good sign).
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
Let Your Heart Lead The Way
It is hard to believe that we were all in a worldwide shutdown just a couple of years ago. It has been a difficult and traumatic time for us all, as is always the case with major transition and change.
The global pandemic has played a vital role in transforming the energies in our world. For years, the predominant energy vibration in society has been masculine. We were rushing around in a constant go-go-go mode: egotistically grinding, clashing, and vying for things.
Some of my clients would call me and ask why their friends and relatives have been able to manifest this or that, yet they have not? It was all about comparison, strife, and competition. But our world has since been experiencing a significant energy transformation. With the advent of the global pandemic a lot of changes happened, and very rapidly!
Signs of this energetic shift are now becoming more evident. When I connect with current societal energies, it comes through as much gentler and predominantly female. This is a significant and welcome shift, especially when it comes to manifesting.
Traditionally, much attention was put on thought and the cognitive mind. Manifestation books and programs emphasized how our thoughts, ideas and beliefs function like a magnet to manifest our desires. But what if I told you that the heart is more powerful magnet than the brain?
According to HeartMath Institute Director of Research Rollin McCraty, the heart generates a much more powerful electromagnetic field compared to the brain. “The heart generates the largest electromagnetic field in the body. The electrical field as measured in an electrocardiogram (ECG) is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the brain waves recorded in an electroencephalogram (EEG).”
The Happiness Trinity
When a new year arrives, it is common for us to look back and wish we had done better in the previous year. To make matters worse, the past three years have been exceptionally difficult for all of us. All the more reason for us to now make a determined decision to strive for greater happiness in the coming year. But how does one achieve happiness?
The true nature of happiness has been a topic of debate since the beginning of time. Does anyone really know what true happiness is? There are many opinions, views and theories on the matter, but I believe in the end one’s personal happiness is something only you can truly define or measure for yourself.
With that said, no matter what our personal idea of true happiness might be, it will always require the foundation of three key elements: wellness of body, mind and soul. Without an optimal trinity of physical, mental, and spiritual health, one cannot truly live your best life.
A happy life begins first and foremost with physical health and self-care. Our lifestyle habits define the quality of our life. Constantly indulging in the short-term pleasures of unhealthy lifestyle choices will not ensure a happy life in the long-term. Happy people eat nutritious food, get enough exercise, sleep well, manage their stress levels, and aim to maintain a sensible work-life balance.
A sense of being happy itself is one of the countless emotions we experience in life, and while it’s not possible to always feel happy, we can still choose how we respond to life’s challenges. Choosing to see a difficult situation as an opportunity rather than an obstacle, and choosing faith over fear, are common traits among many accomplished people.
Free Yourself From The Fear Of Rejection
A close friend and college, who is also a psychic medium, had a blind date set up by a friend a while ago. “I think the two of you would hit it off,” the match-making friend promised. Well, my friend and the mystery man initially texted for a couple of weeks and then decided to meet in person.
Due to Covid-19 recommendations at the time, they arranged to meet outside and ended up going for a three hour walk. The date went great! When it was time to part, the gentleman said he hoped they can meet again soon. He clearly seemed to like her a lot.
She agreed as they both seemed to enjoy each other’s company, but on the way home, her old fear of rejection resurfaced. She called me the next day to tell me how it went.
The first thing she said was that he seemed a great person. It was the first time, in a long time, that she had such a good time. But I could sense that something was not quite right. So, I asked her what was the matter?
“I think he is out of my league,” she bluntly said.
“What do you mean,” I exclaimed in surprise.
“Well, he arrived in a brand-new luxury car, while mine is an old jalopy! He is a medical professional, and I just do readings. I am also not smart enough, or pretty enough for a guy like him. My middle-aged body is certainly not what it used to be.