individuality
Walking Two Moons In Their Moccasins
To judge, or not to judge, that is the question. Now, even the least religious of Christians will tell you that it is not a good idea to stand in judgment of others. In fact, Matthew 7:1-5 clearly states: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” However, there is a little-known addition to this spiritual wisdom to be found in John 7:24: ” Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.”
Wait a minute? Did Jesus not instruct us never to judge? Yes, he implored us not to judge, but he also asked us to filter our experiences through the wisdom of spirit, or the eyes of divine love, before making any judgment. Indeed, some sound judgment is necessary in life. If we never judge anything at all, we may potentially become doormats to others. That’s certainly not what any wise spiritual teacher would recommend. But we need to be sensible, humble and kind in the process. We must ask for divine wisdom and guidance when considering what we say to others, as well as ourselves.
Judgment is related to karma and the ‘golden rule,’ in that we receive back what we dish out. This is not good if we hold onto our rigidity, unable to see others’ points of view. But if we open our minds and see it from another’s point of view, then we will more fairly and compassionately balance our judgments. We must remember the Native American wisdom, “Don’t judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins.”
Keeping The Family Out Of Your Love Life
Family and our relatives have a huge impact on our romantic lives, whether we realize it or not. We bring so much from the way we were raised into our love relationships and marriages.
But having had a difficult childhood does not necessarily set us up for challenges and failure in our relationships. In fact, for those who are self-aware it can be an advantage of choosing not to bring the toxic drama of your childhood home into a current relationship.
For example, if you saw your father treat your mother without respect, you might set your mind to never allowing that happen in your own relationship. This kind of courage and personal responsibility can break the cycle.
We all have things that happen in childhood things that happen that are out of our control, it is all in how you deal with them that forms us as adults. We have a choice always.
The other aspect is culture and the values and customs with which we were raised. Depending on the circumstances it can have a significant impact on our relationships. Once again it is a choice how we want to handle it. Do we follow the family traditions, or not?
It takes courage and an open mind to march to your own drum. Standing up for what you believe can also go a long way. Sometimes this is vital to ensure a healthy, happy relationship that will last.
Of course, the biggest challenge for most couples is having the family up in your relationship business. Do your relatives influence your decisions and interfere in your relationship? Navigating a relationship or marriage successfully in this day and age is challenging enough.
JOMO – The Joy Of Missing Out!
I’m sure you have heard of ‘FOMO’ or the ‘fear of missing out.’ Well, let me introduce you to its counterpart: JOMO, or the joy of missing out! No, it’s not something I invented. Both these trendy acronyms were added to the Oxford Dictionary several years ago.
According to the Oxford Lexico Dictionary, FOMO is the “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.”
We all experience some level of FOMO in our modern lives, due to our constant exposure to online news, streaming services, and social media platforms. Most people are constantly glued to their phones and tablets these days. We feel compelled to have it all at our fingertips, lest we miss something exciting.
But this really does not bring us much joy in the long run. Instead, it is addictive, exhausting, and can lead to increased anxiety, poor self-esteem and even depression. We are missing out on moments that we never can get back.
JOMO however flips FOMO on its head! The Oxford Lexico Dictionary describes it as “pleasure derived from living in a quiet or independent way without feeling anxious that one is missing out on exciting or interesting events that may be happening elsewhere.” JOMO is all about taking time out from all the digital distractions, busyness, and noise around us.
Spontaneous JOMO happens when our cell phone signal is caught in a dead zone with no service, or the internet or cable goes down, and we decide to go for a walk to look at the stars. At first, we might feel awkwardly uncomfortable or even panicked, but then we start to focus on what and who is in front of us, or the environment around us. And suddenly, there is a new sense of peace. Our senses become more heightened. The world is a much calmer, more beautiful place.
Let Your Authentic Self Shine
Most people at some point change something about ourselves in the hope of being better liked or accepted by others. Whether it’s a group of friends, a potential romantic partner, or the manager at work, there is constant pressure to conform and fit in. But in the long run, does this help? The truth is: it really doesn’t.
The notion of simply being your authentic self is challenging in an era where everyone seems to be seeking approval and attention. Therefore, the authentic self or the true version of our soul is something one hardly sees in the digital era of social media, influencers, likes, and followers.
However, we may think that a person we see online is someone others won’t like. Maybe our internal critic sees that person as ‘too much’ of something or ‘not enough’ of another. But we are often mistaken, as someone being true to themselves and keeping it real is what most people are spontaneously drawn to.
You might feel like you’re the only strange person at work, or the black sheep of your family, but you’re not the only one. There are thousands of ‘odd’ people out there right now with the same doubts as you!
The old saying ‘there’s a lid for every pot’ is always good to keep in mind. Your authentic self is just what someone else has been looking for. If you feel you don’t fit in with the crowd, take a step back and ask yourself whether you truly want to be part of it anyway? Knowing your true value and finding the things most important to you, will help determine who you want to surround yourself with.
It’s also important to set healthy boundaries. If you feel peer pressured into joining a group, or liking something simply to fit in, ask yourself if this is true to your core. Does it resonate with your authentic self?
Transitioning With Grace
Autumn always awakens my awareness of transitions. Not only does the entire scenery change color, but each individual leaf on every tree is in a constant shift of shades of greens, golds, yellows, oranges, and reds. With every shifting shade and combination of them, the pattern of the palette continuously alters too.
Then, of course, there is the falling of the leaves – the gradual transition from tree to ground, from full foliage to bareness in various new measures day by day. The rise and set of the sun, and the length of the night and light incrementally inch through their own thresholds as well.
Like the changing season, life is full of transitions. From the moment the soul enters the womb, an endless sequence of them begins. The body develops in a rapid succession of changes, then carries the soul from womb to world.
In the world, the embodied soul then undergoes transition through various ages and stages, growing from infant to toddler to child to adolescent to adult, until gradually winding down to leave the body behind and proceed to the next one or world.
In between, you and I – the embodied souls – may face a multitude of additional transitions in relationships, careers, residences, levels of consciousness, and more. Such transitions – even the best of them – are not easy. They naturally incorporate intervals of instability in the liminal spaces between here and there. Transitions entail shedding, releasing, letting go of the old that was, and then birthing and rebirthing the next and new phase that will be. They empty us out and fill us up, again and again. Transitions are not easy; they may even make us feel queasy!
So, how can we move through the endless array of life’s transitions gracefully? As with all things, there are probably as many ways as there is individuality among people. What I share are simply some of the ones I have found especially helpful.
Always Be True To Yourself!
I have noticed over the past year some interesting changes in our social behavior. It seems people have begun to project not only their energy differently, but also their presence at home and in public. Our socialization and interaction habits appear to have shifted significantly. Many people are now having to ‘relearn’ how to interact with each other in social settings, after many months of lockdowns and social distancing.
Now, I don’t see this as a bad thing at all! I am witnessing people being more aware of their personal space, and less worried about of the perception of others around them. Social interaction seems more authentic and less dressed up. We have become less concerned about how we appear to others in public. Finally, people are letting their hair down and the customary ‘keeping up appearances’ does not appear so important these days.
This suits my approach to life perfectly, as I have always been a proponent of ‘being my own beacon.’ First, and foremost it means be true to yourself, instead of trying to be what you believe others will approve of. However, this does not give us permission to be selfish and rude. We must always treat other as we expect to be treated ourselves. If you like a certain type of music, it doesn’t mean others also enjoy it. Wear a headset! If you don’t feel like interacting with a certain group of people, kindly and gracefully decline that social invitation.
Too often I see people doing things because someone else expects them to, and you can literally see the miserable, uninterested, bored look on their faces. Why put yourself through all that? Why comply with peer pressure, when you can walk your own path of happiness?
I have an acquaintance who has been miserable in their job and due to recent worldly events they have given the opportunity to break free from that toxic workplace and start doing something they have always enjoyed doing. But they were to fearful to take the leap. A wasted opportunity!
Honor Yourself With Unconditional Love
Dear loves, the message we bring to you today is about unconditional love. We want to help you know and understand more about this earthly concept of love, this love that you so desire and, indeed, richly deserve.
The first thing you need to know and accept about love is that love in action means freedom; freedom for you to be yourself, and freedom for the other person to be themselves. This is what true love really means. You must be able to allow that other soul to flourish, to fly, to be all that they can be.
Doing anything less than that is not love, it is entrapment. It is expectation. It is setting you up to be hurt and disappointed. We know that you are not used to this concept but some things are true, whether or not you believe them to be so.
Can anyone else be you? Can you be anybody else? The answer to both these questions is no. You were born into your body, which is your earthly vessel. Each body comes in different shapes and sizes, just as each soul inside that body has different needs and wants and dreams.
True unconditional love only comes once you accept yourself for who you are, in all your glory and your entire splendor. Another cannot honor you, if you are not honoring yourself. It may be what you have been taught throughout the years, but We are older than time itself and We tell you the way to achieve love is by setting yourself free to the Universe and the glories of that world.
Your Light, your own individual grace and purpose, can then start to glow, and the one whom is meant to enjoy that, the one whom speaks your language can then find you. For you have only just begun to live.
