emotions
Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.
The Healing Energies Of Plant Spirits
Here in Latin America there is a rich tradition of herbalism and ceremonial, shamanic spiritual medicine. There has also been in recent times a global revival of plant medicine and natural healing practices, as well as a renewed interest in related indigenous wisdom traditions found in many cultures all over the world.
As a result of modern science, we have largely abandoned and forgotten the fountain of knowledge the aborigines had regarding healing and natural harmony. It took us several centuries to realize what we have lost and overlooked in the process.
Herbalism is however not only about natural medicine potentially having fewer side effects than modern pharmaceuticals. It is also about the innate energetic qualities we share with a particular plant. This approach to healin stems from a worldview that fully integrates man and nature.
In local tradition, near the Andes, the timing is just as important as the type of plant used for healing purposes. Depending on the season, or the phase of moon, for instance, the plant’s properties will vary, and its effectiveness less than optimal if used at the inappropriate time.
Both the healer and their patient’s attitude towards the plant itself is also an important factor in the healing process, as the respect and gratitude shown to the plant will determine its healing ability.
In shamanic herbalist practices it vital to understand that all entities are considered to have elemental energy, including plants and humans. This is the metaphysical premise of all plant medicine and magic. In fact, for the traditional herbalist all plants have spirits. And each one has specific faculties and properties at different levels or frequencies that can heal us in mind, body and soul.
The Happiness Trinity
When a new year arrives, it is common for us to look back and wish we had done better in the previous year. To make matters worse, the past three years have been exceptionally difficult for all of us. All the more reason for us to now make a determined decision to strive for greater happiness in the coming year. But how does one achieve happiness?
The true nature of happiness has been a topic of debate since the beginning of time. Does anyone really know what true happiness is? There are many opinions, views and theories on the matter, but I believe in the end one’s personal happiness is something only you can truly define or measure for yourself.
With that said, no matter what our personal idea of true happiness might be, it will always require the foundation of three key elements: wellness of body, mind and soul. Without an optimal trinity of physical, mental, and spiritual health, one cannot truly live your best life.
A happy life begins first and foremost with physical health and self-care. Our lifestyle habits define the quality of our life. Constantly indulging in the short-term pleasures of unhealthy lifestyle choices will not ensure a happy life in the long-term. Happy people eat nutritious food, get enough exercise, sleep well, manage their stress levels, and aim to maintain a sensible work-life balance.
A sense of being happy itself is one of the countless emotions we experience in life, and while it’s not possible to always feel happy, we can still choose how we respond to life’s challenges. Choosing to see a difficult situation as an opportunity rather than an obstacle, and choosing faith over fear, are common traits among many accomplished people.
True Love Is Never-Ending
I love you. I love you, and you, and you! No matter what happened yesterday. No matter what was said, what was done, how we hurt one another, I still love you.
Three simple words. Really, love shouldn’t be so hard. Since my childhood my goal in life was always to show love. Before money, before “common sense”, before logical reasoning of life, my heart always took the lead. Believe me, this trait has led to much criticism over the years. Many people have considered me eccentric, crazy, even downright stupid. Yet, throughout the years, I learned to like myself and to accept others.
Perhaps I’m not the wealthiest woman in the world, with diamonds dripping off my neck. Perhaps I give away more than I keep. Yet, each night I go to sleep soundly, liking who I am. I can dance in the moonlight with the fairies under the kisses of Venus, with Lady Moon shining her soft glowing light through the country rural trees, the shadows of leaving dancing around creating the sense of those long gone flitting in and out of the corners of our eyes.
The answer is love.
Today is a new day, where spirit sends to me more people to love. It’s just that easy. I simply let the problems and failed actions of yesterday go, remembering the lessons I had to learn in how to treat others. We are all human who make mistakes in how we express ourselves, in how we react, but we can always choose restore the love. All we need is unconditional love, and forgiveness.
For many of us there is the constant hope of one day meeting a life partner who ‘gets’ us, with all our flaws, all our doubts, all our insecurities. This task of finding just the right one is not easy. Some seek advice from us seers, who give answers, but sometimes the bottom falls out. One of us, or both of us do something really stupid, and the love ends. This is what we believe. But love doesn’t end.
Spirit Guidance Requires Faith And Patience
I once received an apology call from a woman I hadn’t spoken to in over a decade. She wasn’t even sure I would accept her call. Many years ago, I predicted a new relationship for her that didn’t come to pass soon enough to her liking. She was extremely displeased and decided to ‘shoot the messenger.’ I did not hear from her again, until my prediction did prove accurate after all a decade later. She is now married to the man we were discussing at the time of her reading.
Another lady had been calling me for a while, then some things occurred in her love life in the short-term that did not please her. So, again, I was blamed for it and received no further calls. Then, six months later, she wrote to apologize. She also got married last week.
Then there’s the client that I told, “Do not go out with that guy, he’s trouble.” Yet, she still did. Two years later, she called to say, “You were right. Wish I had listened to you.”
See, when I do readings, I ask for wisdom, I pray for accuracy. I also set an intention for open-minded, sensible clients that really care about what spirit wants to communicate to them. I am fortunate that I usually have wonderful clients. Almost everyone one that I am sent to work with, understands the ways of spirit.
You see, in spirituality the journey is what truly matters, not the destination. The best things in life take time. Trusting spirit for guidance requires faith and patience. Divine timing and the divine order of things are not for us to determine or dictate.
Wyatt Earp, a legendary frontiersman of the American West, was known as the ‘fastest gun in the West.’ He famously said that being fast is great, but accuracy is much more important. Life is that way too. We often want life to move fast – quick-paced, rat-raced, constantly running to our goals! We seldom learn the lessons, have the fun, experience the growth, or enjoy the experiences we can have while steadily progressing towards the goal.
Anger Release Empowers The Empath
As an empath, I’ve been personally and professionally targeted by others many times in my life. But I am not the only one. These challenges are common among the highly sensitive. Why do sensitives tend to experience so much bullying? I believe we tend to attract it because we are called to support others in balancing their emotions. We are meant to use our gift of empathy to help heal others.
But at times the empath becomes overwhelmed. She is only human and sometimes also needs to vent. Most of all the empath must learn to release anger and other negative emotion she may experience as a result of the injustice, callousness and even cruelty she often tends to suffer.
Unresolved anger is one of the underlying causes for many addictions and dysfunctional behaviors. Anger that leads to a sense of entitlement, and from entitlement comes dissolved hopes and dreams.
If we learn to surrender our egos and release entitlement, then we find the hopes and dreams we’ve lost return to us. Peace is the ultimate foundation of prosperity and well-being. Having peaceful thoughts and kind intentions for everyone invites abundance into our lives.
This doesn’t mean we have to be a ‘doormat’ for others. If we are truly at peace, our higher vibration commands a natural boundary and the Universe fills in the energetic gaps.
For example, while dealing with a difficult person, someone else may come along to interrupt the conversation with some humor. The Universal Spirit naturally intercedes on our behalf once we set good intentions for everyone by releasing our anger and resentment.
Quick Ways To Pick Yourself Up
We all have bad days. We get disappointing news or have an unpleasant interaction with someone. We all encounter setbacks and dark moments from time to time, as we journey through physical life. It’s part of the human experience.
These negative events may seem unfortunate, or even unnecessary when they occur, but they actually serve to create balance in our life. Without these contrasts we would never appreciate all the good things.
The important thing, however, is to not dwell on the negativity or misery, but to bounce back into alignment with our truth and the abundance and healing power of Spirit as soon as possible.
Some of my favorite ways to quickly pick myself up when I am feeling down include:
Inspirational Words
I love Unity Church’s Daily Word for this. I carry it around with me in my purse for just such occasions. You can also get it as an app for a smartphone. The short, daily reminders feature uplifting affirmations and a brief paragraph or two of inspirational writing on the theme for the day. I always find that they contain just what I needed to hear at that moment to help me gain a new, more positive outlook.