Healing From A Relationship Break-Up

Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.

I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”

It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.

Avoid Major Life Decisions

It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.

I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength ~ Alex Elle

Allow Yourself To Feel

It is normal and healing to feel sad, angry, or confused after a breakup. Don’t try to push those feelings away or ignore them. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling and express those feelings in a healthy way. Journaling and talking to a trusted friend can help.

Take Time To Reflect

It is important to take some time to reflect on the relationship that has ended. Ask yourself questions, such as why it ended, what you learned from it, and what you would do differently next time. This can help you gain closure and move on.

Find Emotional Support

It is important to find emotional support after a breakup. This could be a close friend, family member, therapist, or psychic advisor. Talking to someone can help you process your emotions and find clarity. It truly helps to have someone to lean on during such a difficult time.

Take Time For Self-Care

Self-care is essential after a breakup. Take some time to focus on yourself and do things that make you feel good. This could include taking a day off from work, getting a massage, or going for a walk in nature. You can also get creative and try new activities, or start a new hobby.

Expand Your Spiritual Practice

Most importantly, make more of an effort with your spiritual self-care. There is no better time to meditate, pray, practice yoga or breathwork, start a gratitude journal, read an inspirational book, or attend a spiritual gathering or religious service. God, Spirit, Source, the Divine wants to console, guide and support us in our times of sorrow and struggle, but we cannot enjoy this wonderful blessing if we are not open and tuned-in to receive it.

I’m choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I’m making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Set Your Own Pace

Recovering from a breakup, like all other types of grieving, is process that takes time. Don’t rush yourself and do not listen to others telling you it is time to “get over it.” Move at your own pace and be patient with your broken heart. Practice self-compassion. Take all the time you need to heal and don not ley anyone make you feel bad for doing so.

Focus On The Future

After a breakup, it can be easy to get stuck in the past. Try to focus on the future and the positive things that are ahead of you. Look towards the future with optimism and focus on the things that make you happy.

I find that some clients who consult with me after a break-up choose to focus on all the details of the lost relationship exclusively and even repeatedly, while they not care much to explore new likelihoods or happier potential outcomes that may already be looming in their future. While a psychic reading can certainly help us to understand and process what has happened with our ex, it is also wise to open up to new possibilities in our future that do not involve the ex!

Breaking up with someone can be a very difficult experience, but you will recover and find joy in life again. With patience, self-care and enough time, you will be able to heal and move on sooner than you may expect.