emotional intelligence
How To Deal With Negativity And Toxic Drama
Many people today feel overwhelmed, angry, frustrated, fearful. This is especially evident online in the social media landscape. Unfortunately, too often this leads to attacks on others, including innocent people and companies.
It can be challenging to know how best to deal with all this toxic negativity. I believe it’s best to approach this issue spiritually, from a metaphysical or energetic standpoint.
Energy, whether positive or negative, grows when we feed it. Consider a plant: in order to thrive, it needs water, sunlight, and nutrients from the earth. If neglected, it will wither. The same principle applies to our interactions with the world around us: by paying attention to something, we feed it with our energy.
This is crucial to remember when dealing with any kind of negativity, both online and in person. To thrive energetically, we must be selective about who and what we pay attention to.
Huna, an ancient Hawaiian spiritual tradition, teaches that energy flows where attention goes. Every time we choose where to direct our energy, we’re making an active choice about what we want to grow in our lives. When we respond to negativity – whether with anger, defensiveness, or frustration – we end up reinforcing the very things we want to avoid. To maintain peace and harmony, huna advises focusing on positive intentions and constructive energy.
By giving toxic energy thieves our attention, we allow their negaivity to take root in our hearts and minds. Feeding negativity or drama only strengthens it, which ultimately affects our own well-being. When we consciously choose to withdraw our energy from negative influences and redirect it to uplifting and positive areas, we create an environment where peace and growth can flourish.
Anger Awareness For The Empowered Empath
Of all the emotional energies that empaths have to deal with, anger is one of the most powerful and potentially destructive, because empaths feel and react first, and think later.
An empath’s initial reaction to someone else’s angry feelings is usually some form of intense “fight or flight” response.
The more extroverted empath will often respond to the anger with equal force, usually involving a very intense and potentially catastrophic emotional outburst. The introverted empath will usually “flee” the scene or do everything possible to avoid the person who is emitting the anger.
After the initial reaction, the empath’s emotional state will often then shift to sadness, anxiety, or feeling drained and depressed at seemingly inappropriate times and for no apparent reason.
Because it is very common for empaths to be intensely aware of the feelings, moods, and motives of others, sometimes even before others are aware of their own feelings, a strong emotion like anger deeply affects us. And if the other person is a spouse or partner in a romantic relationship, anger can become a proverbial land mine. Ditto if it is a co-worker or employer.
Embracing The Gift Of Empathic Insight
Being attuned to the emotional energies of others is a beautiful gift that many spiritual individuals discover and enhance along their spiritual journey. This gift facilitates connection with others and provides insights into both others and ourselves.
While this empathic ability can bring profound understanding, it can also lead to anxiety. Feeling others’ emotions deeply may prompt self-reflection, causing concern about the impact of our actions on others and fear of judgment. Societal pressures become more intense, especially when expressing unconventional opinions, making those on a spiritual path feel isolated or misunderstood during a spiritual awakening.
How can we balance this empathic insight with personal expression and development?
Navigating meaningful relationships becomes challenging as our perspectives expand. Striking this balance requires self-reflection and working towards a more whole and heart-centered way of living.
Maintaining an open mind while expressing our own understandings is like a tightrope walk. We don’t want to become closed-minded, yet we need to articulate our perspectives and advocate for what we believe is right. A spiritual life is a journey of constant growth and understanding. Plateaus and challenges are part of the path, requiring breakthroughs to overcome.
The Constant Battle Of Head Versus Heart
Have you ever second-guessed yourself, done or said something that went against your gut, only to realize in retrospect that your initial feeling or hunch was right? Had you acted differently, it could have saved you a lot of heartache and loss, emotionally, physically or financially?
If you have ever been in this position, know that you are not alone. The “head versus heart” dilemma can be very confusing and frustrating. Many of my clients struggle with it and some experience a great deal of confusion, stress and emotional discomfort as a result.
When faced with difficult decisions or challenging situations, we usually have a good sense of what the best course of action might be. But then we tend to look for concrete evidence to support our feelings and intuitive hunches, and when we cannot find any, which is often the case, our heads take precedence over our hearts. So we end up discounting our feelings and intuitions, usually to our own detriment.
The struggle between head and heart is a common theme in philosophy, literature, art, and popular culture, as we all regularly experience inner conflicts between reason and emotion, logic and intuition, responsibility and passion.
The Transformative Power Of Vulnerability
I find that spirit wants to remind us that vulnerability offers us a special kind of magic in our lives. It is a theme that comes up regularly in psychic readings I do for my clients.
Vulnerability can transform lives, careers, relationships and families in profound ways. But for many of us, life has taught us that being vulnerable is a ‘weakness’ that puts us at risk.
Many of us have built walls around ourselves to protect ourselves because we feel we risk rejection, judgment, or failure if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The ego tells us it’s best not to take those risks at all!
Instead, we harden our hearts and keep our distance, choosing to figure out what others might think, feel or do before we are willing to put ourselves out there in any way.
But by shying away from being open, authentic, and transparent with our thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and desires, we actually block the very outcomes in life that we hope for.
So, how do you get more comfortable opening up and allowing yourself to be authentic and vulnerable? And how does that open you up to the very results you want to manifest in your life?
Being Patient With The Man You Love
When we meet someone we’re attracted to, we don’t always listen to our inner voice and tend to go with our heart instead of our head. And when we don’t listen to our inner guidance and get ahead of ourselves, we tend to get hurt.
I think it is fair to say that modern women prefer men who say what they mean and mean what they say. Women today are independent and we want someone who can stand his ground and bring out the best in us.
Today’s empowered woman wants a gentleman, a best friend, a soulmate and a superhero all in one. We want romance and respect, adventure and security, strength and tenderness.
But most of all, we want loyalty, honesty and trust. Because without that, we have nothing. Unfortunately, some men never speak their minds, and some never tell the truth.
There are also men who come on too strong, always calling, always texting, making you feel like he can’t live without you and everything seems almost too good to be true. Then suddenly one day he is gone, missing in action, retreated to his cave.
How To Thrive As An Empath
Empaths have the unique ability to deeply experience and understand the emotions of others. While this gift is a wonderful source of compassion, strength, and connection, it also comes with its share of challenges.
Living as an empath can be a double-edged sword, as the heightened sensitivity to the emotions of others can lead to emotional exhaustion, boundary issues, and a constant struggle to maintain one’s emotional well-being.
One of the biggest challenges empaths face is emotional overload. Empaths tend to absorb the emotions of those around them, whether it’s joy, excitement, sadness, anger, depression, or fear.
This emotional absorption can be so intense that it can become overwhelming to the empath, leading to feelings of confusion, restlessness, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and even physical symptoms such as headaches and fatigue.
Managing this constant influx of emotional energy can be mentally and physically exhausting, sometimes leaving empaths completely drained and in dire need of some solitude and self-care.