therapist
Is Your History Repeating Itself?
Are you feeling stuck making all the wrong choices and decisions? Are you repeating the same make mistakes? A study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences analyzed the processes that occur before the human brain makes a decision. In this study, participants were asked to press a button with their left, or right hand. They were able to do this at whatever moment they decided, however, they were asked to remember the specific time they recognized making their decision and to relay that information to the researchers.
By observing the participant’s brain scanner, it was discovered that the researchers knew the participant’s decision seven seconds before the participant knew, based on observing electrical signals within the participant’s brain. This is important information, because it validates how much our subconscious minds are making decisions without us fully being aware of the choices we are making.
Although this research is based on making immediate decisions, how often are you aware of where their decisions are being based upon? How can you know if you’re making a decision based on old thought patterns and habits, rather than based on higher, conscious awareness?
The philosopher George Santayana famously said, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” While this is true on a global scale, this is also true in our personal relationships. My interests in psychology and consciousness originated from observing my family, their unhealthy patterns, and observing the resulting choices I’ve made myself, in response to those patterns.
True Healing Begins With Holding Space
A work associate and friend recently offered me a free healing session, which he describes as ‘holding space.’ It involves the healer simply ‘being present’ and mindful in the moment with the client during a video call.
He explained the process beforehand and informed me that was going to simply talk and express myself, with no prompting from him. I gratefully accepted his kind offer.
I was not sure what to expect, but having studied various healing modalities myself over the years and being naturally curious about all aspects of spirituality and holistic health, I was open to the experience.
To begin he invited me to just relax and focus on my breathing. Once he senses that I was ready to proceed, he encouraged me to simply begin talking about whatever came to mind.
“Oh no,” I secretly thought, “what on earth will I talk about?”
Well, I soon discovered that it wasn’t difficult at all! I spontaneously began talking, and soon it was pretty much non-stop! I kicked off talking about my concerns for my aging pets, and then went on to other everyday worries and domestic matters. Eventually, I switched to my family history – specifically focusing on all the times I had felt invisible or let down by relatives.
About halfway through, I briefly hesitated and asked my friend if he was not maybe getting bored? But he assured me that he was perfectly fine, adding that this kind of work was very much a calling for him. He later explained that he has overcome several life challenges and tragedies himself over the years, and subsequent soul-searching, as well as further training in various holistic practices, ultimately led him to begin holding space for others.
Improving Your Emotional Responses To Change
Change is inevitable, yet most people don’t know how to manage, or accept it. Living to the fullest is about constantly adapting to different stimuli and changing situations, as we go about our daily lives.
The change I am referring to is not about major socio-economic changes or political events in the world. I’m talking about personal growth, life transitions, and emotional and psychological challenges.
Knowing that personal changes and challenges are inevitable in our lives, how does one handle it in a more positive manner? First and foremost, you have to have the desire and will to succeed in making a change for the better. It must come from within, or it will feel as if it is being forced upon you.
Let’s look, for example, into emotional changes as a result of circumstances or events we may be able to control, or not. Emotional expression is innate in all of us. We can however choose how, and when, to express our emotions, and to what degree. For some of us this is easier said than to done, but never impossible. We can choose to be happy, sad, or even mad. How we choose to react in any given situation is the one thing in life we always can control.
To change a negative emotional response, we have to first understand what brings on that emotion and how the trigger affects us in a given situation. We must acknowledge the stimulus, as well as the emotion I tends to trigger. Finally we must choose how to address it, so it no longer is a negative response.
