empath
The Empowered Empath’s Guide To Spiritual Self-Care
Empaths, sensitives and intuitives tend to be givers. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed.
But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful!
But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about.
What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.
Hold Your Tongue To Protect Your Peace
Some people deal with unresolved pain in their lives, and that pain often shows up in their words. You can usually feel it right away. Their words can feel heavy, sharp, or draining, like they disrupt the energetic balance of a space.
In spiritual work, one of the first lessons one learns is that words carry vibration.
If you’re the kind of person who’s intuitive, empathic or highly sensitive, this kind of exposure can feel especially overwhelming, leaving you emotionally upset or energetically drained. This reaction isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s just your inner guidance that tells you when something’s off.
It’s important to be discerning on a spiritual path. You don’t have to respond to every person or comment. Not every interaction needs a response.
When someone’s speaking from a place of anger, fear, or unresolved issues, you’re totally allowed to take a step back and choose not to engage with it. Silence isn’t avoidance. It’s all about being mindful of your energy use and being spiritually mature.
Take a breath before you react. Bring your awareness into your body and ground yourself in the present moment. Try to respond with clarity instead of emotion. Meditation, prayer, or just taking some time for yourself can help you get in sync with your higher self instead of getting caught up in reactive patterns.
How To Deal With Energy Vampires And Psychic Bullies
Someone or something draining your energy? Most of the time it’s someone whom you are either trying to please, or get approval from, or someone you’re trying to help. You may begin to notice that something changes in your energy field each time you are around this person, or that you feel an imbalance of some sort afterwards. When I say being around a person, this can mean exposure to them through meeting in person, texting, talking over the phone, and even energetically, or psychically.
Energy bullies and psychic vampires are very good sucking the life force right out of you. Unfortunately, you may not notice this is happening, until after the fact. However, once you realize what has happened, identifying it is the first step to proactive healing, regeneration, and protection from allowing it to happen again.
Let’s have a closer look at what is actually taking place during an energy drain. Suppose you have a friend who is always complaining about her life, or often has a negative outlook on every situation she is involved in. This could also be a family member you meet for coffee, or whom you chat with over the phone regularly. And dealing with this person leaves you always energetically drained, deflated or emotionally unsettled.
I’d like to preface this with the fact that we all have times where we need to vent, or reach out for help when we are struggling with something. On the other hand, we also have moments where we need to be the voice of reason for someone else, or have an open mind and heart to listen and truly be there for the people we love and care about. Listening is so important in relationships, but if only one person is talking and one person is listening, over and over again, it is a drain on the listener.
Remember To Wear Your Protection Daily
Many of my clients complain feeling drained by people around them. These energy thieves can be found in their work environment, and among friends or family. In turn, what affects them energetically, also affects their pets.
Only yesterday, I was driving one of our local veterinarians back to her practice in town. I had brought her out to our place in the country to check our latest rescue dog; he is still too nervous to get into the car.
She then started telling me, with no prompting from me, how her customers are draining her. She feels that her animal patients are profoundly affected by their owners’ moods. The vet said she takes a few days off intermittently to recharge her batteries – not from the work she loves, but from the pet owners!
When I saw psychic medium John Edward perform live, he was stressing how important it is to wear our energy or psychic protection. “Wear it like a condom,” he said. I have since adopted this motto as my own, because it really nails the importance of wearing protection from negative energies around you.
We dress according to climate changes, and so, we must also wear the appropriate psychic protection for our own inner ‘climatic changes.’
We are all vulnerable to external energy vibrations, but at times this threat intensifies. We are especially more open to taking on external ‘stuff’ when we are anxious, tired, going through personal changes, and when are under the influence of any mind-altering substance.
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them.
Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself.
Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance.
Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
The Empath’s Sacred Gift Of Compassion
Being an empath is more than just having a high sensitivity to the suffering of others. It is also the sacred gift of compassion. Empaths do not only perceive other people’s pain, but we also want to soothe, heal, and uplift them. These twin gifts of discernment and compassionate action are inseparable.
I have yet to meet an empath who doesn’t feel the calling to alleviate suffering in some way. In a world that so often feels cruel and chaotic, our tender hearts are now needed more than ever.
Compassion, both inward and outward, is a powerful force. It can transform relationships, heal roots of insecurity, and reshape the texture of our inner lives.
In leadership settings, compassionate responses consistently foster trust, deep connection, and lasting loyalty. Harsh reactions, on the other hand, often erect walls and breed resistance.
When someone feels seen, supported, and deeply cared for, their loyalty and dedication follow naturally. This principle applies not only in professional spheres but in every relationship we nurture.
I’ve come to see self-compassion as just as vital as the compassion we extend to others.
Empaths especially can be our own harshest critics. We measure ourselves against external standards and comparisons, often coming up short in our inner dialogue. But offering ourselves a warm, non-judgmental embrace opens new doors: to deeper confidence, heightened clarity, and a grounded sense of worth that doesn’t depend on outperforming someone else.
Why Our Souls Cannot Afford A Lack Of Empathy
Life has a way of weaving unexpected lessons into even the most ordinary or practical situations. Sometimes what begins as a business transaction or a casual encounter becomes a doorway into something far more meaningful, a reminder of the deep human connection we are all longing for and the healing power of simple empathy.
I recently found myself in a situation that reminded me of this truth in the most unexpected way.
I am in the process of selling two homes in different states, which has been quite challenging. Anyone who has sold property knows how stressful and complicated it can be…much less two properties at the same time!
Over the past couple of months I had spoken to quite a few realtors and interested buyers. One agent initially showed strong interest in one of my homes. He seemed genuinely eager, but then he suddenly disappeared without explanation. My calls and messages went unanswered. While I did not sense that he had completely lost interest, I could not wait indefinitely and had to continue moving forward with my plans.
Still, I could not shake a quiet concern for him, as though something more was happening behind the scenes, and the feeling carried a weight of unease.
Several months later, he reached out unexpectedly, asking if I had sold my property yet. He apologized for vanishing and then explained the reason for his absence. He had been in a serious car accident and had spent time in the hospital. His injuries required surgery, and bolts had been placed in his foot. Now he was in physical therapy, learning to walk again.