disappointment
Spiritual Techniques For Emotional Closure
Spirit has taught me, from a very young age, that gaining closure with a person (where necessary of course) is imperative so that we can move on with our lives in a positive way.
After all, we cannot possibly embrace our future wholeheartedly without having effectively dealt with our past. There are three types of closure:
1. Natural closure that comes with the passage of time.
2. Direct closure that we may have with the person or persons involved and where love is concerned.
3. Third party closure when we meet someone else.
All well and good, you may be thinking, but it takes time to get that natural closure. Maybe your ex (or whoever) won’t give you direct closure and you don’t want to have to wait until you meet someone else in order to get it! But you do need a degree of closure now.
Well, spirit recognizes this and offers the two following solutions which may be of benefit to all those who need to gain closure on someone and find forgiveness, and start afresh in the shortest possible time:
Rebuild Your Trust In A Benevolent Universe
Have you ever watched a child learn to ride a bicycle? There is a certain excitement associated with this rite of passage as youngsters wholeheartedly embrace the possibility of being able to soon ride down the street without help.
The first time they get on a bike, they have no prior knowledge or experience to compare it to. Nevertheless, it is usually easy for most children to accept that they will be able to accomplish this task.
Most kids, in their innocence, focus on the joy, freedom and fulfillment of riding a bike rather than worrying about not being able to do it, let alone falling and getting hurt. They also don’t think in terms of good or bad ‘luck’ determining their ultimate success, nor do they imagine that riding a bike is a special gift, talent or privilege reserved only for certain people.
Perhaps this self-belief stems in part from an encouraging parent who has confidently assured the young person that they will indeed be able to achieve this skill. Perhaps the child has seen other children learn to do it and therefore trusts that they can do it, too.
The thing about children is not so much that they blindly or foolishly trust, but simply that, unlike most adults, they have not yet learned to distrust. Being able to trust as an adult is therefore not so much a matter of learning to trust, but of regaining the ability to trust that we once had, until we lost some or all of it through trauma, disappointment, betrayal, or hardship.
The Empowering Wisdom Of Forgiveness
Although I consider myself a very spiritual person, forgiveness has not always been one of my strengths. In fact, I used to struggle with forgiving those who had hurt or wronged me.
Fortunately, as I matured in my spiritual evolution, I eventually realized that by not letting go of negative events and experiences in my past, I was only being haunted and held captive by them, which was not serving my highest good.
For several years, I was stuck in a downward cycle of replaying certain past events in my mind, reliving every excruciating detail and allowing the past to negatively influence the present and my future. Over time, it became clear that this issue was holding me back in more ways than I could have imagined.
To find some answers, I decided to shift the focus of my spiritual practice for a few months to consult my guides on this issue. During this time, spirit guided me as follows.
Letting Go
To truly forgive, we must let go of the past. There is no true forgiveness if we still somehow hold on to the smallest regret or resentment. Forgiveness is all, or nothing. There are no half measures or gray areas.
Forgiveness is more than just an emotional healing process, it is also an empowering metaphysical practice. If we do not release something completely, we continue to hold some level of negative energy that continues to affect our current vibration, which diminishes our quality of life and negatively affects our future happiness.
Friends For A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime
I recently reconnected with a family friend with whom I had a very close relationship about three decades ago. She was like a mother figure in some ways, even though she was only about 12 years older than me at the time.
She is a very caring and nurturing person and was always there for me when my own mother was physically or emotionally unable. Her door was always open and she always had many people around her. After working in retail for many years, she changed careers to become a full-time caregiver, which she loved. After she retired and her husband passed away, she continued to be very active and had a very vibrant social life.
But during the Covid-19 pandemic, like many people her age, she experienced intense isolation and trauma. We spoke frequently on the phone during this time, and she was very much looking forward to the restrictions finally being lifted.
However, when the worst was over and most restrictions were lifted, her group of friends remained afraid to go out. Some of them even developed agoraphobia, a type of anxiety disorder that causes people to experience extreme, irrational fear of public places and unpredictable situations that they imagine could cause them harm, panic, or helplessness.
My dear friend was deeply affected by this. Seeing all her friends again was one of the things that kept her strong and hopeful through the chaos of the pandemic. But now she felt she had lost her tribe (beyond her family, who all have busy, demanding lives of their own and live several hours away). Fortunately, she is a determined soul who will not easily accept defeat and apparently she is gradually getting more of the old gang together for their usual fun meet-ups!
Life Lessons From Spirit That Make Us Stronger
As we wander through life, we often face many roadblocks, many stumbling blocks and many disappointments. There are many questions that arise as we walk our path and at times it feels like the entire world is against us, as we progress on our journey.
Many people blame God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, or other people for the situations they are in, and cannot get past. This simply an illusion that we create in our humanness. Spirit does not want us to fail in life. Spirit does not want us to be unhappy. Spirit does not want us to live a pauper’s life.
It is time to sit down, take a look at all what has happened to you and discover two things about each situation. Why did it happen, and what was the lesson you learned from it? As you look at the examples of pain, suffering or disappointment in your life, what do you see? Were they life lessons from spirit?
For example, you have been with the love of your life for many years. One day your your beloved unexpectedly abandons you for another person. What could you have done to prevent this? What could you have done differently? Why were you not enough? You were in love, totally and unconditionally devoted to this person, and you thought they felt the same way about you. Why did they do this to you?
In almost all cases where this happens, there is nothing you could have done to prevent this. It was not you who walked out of the relationship or marriage; it was your partner. And all people have free will and free choice. This was not your decision to make.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Healing A Broken Heart
One of the hardest things that we will ever have to do is recover from a broken heart after a relationship break-up. We don’t want to be without the person we love; it hurts to say their name, or to think about them. And sometimes it is hard to even breathe.
When a relationship fails we need to grieve and heal. This is a time to be around people who care about us. The worst thing that we can do is to harden our hearts and build a wall that no one can touch. All that this will do is stop us from growing and learning more about ourselves – to know who we are and learning how to love ourselves again.
We are not to give up on future relationships, because that will not serve us in the long run. We need to be able to feel again, but it takes time. Everyone has to go through their own grieving process because no one really knows just how much you are really hurting. With time you will get there.
So many times we think that the love that we have found is real and everlasting, but true love does not lie, or cheat, or make you feel unwanted. True love makes us feel secure, not insecure.
Sure, we have to work at a good relationship, but when it becomes too much of a tug-and-pull, we have to listen to our gut feelings. Trust your inner guidance and hear what spirit is trying to tell you.
I do not think anything hurts more than being disappointed by the person that you thought would never hurt you. When you are ready to start again, make the decision that you are going to move on, that its time.