vulnerability
The Soul Gold Of Dysfunctional Relationships
When I was younger, I actually searched for my birth certificate, just to see if I really was a member of my family! I’ve witnessed some close-knit and very loving families among my friends and acquaintances, which I admire and applaud. But not everyone is that fortunate. It seems some of us are thrown together in families we cannot help but wonder where we all fit in. For many of us our family and romantic relationships are complicated.
We typically grow up seeing perfect families on television and in the movies. We also observe them during summer vacations and winter holidays. But I have always preferred the exceptions to the rule, the alternative families, the dysfunctional, weird and wonderful family stories, because they portray real life with humor.
Growing up my family did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time. In our family there was much avoidance, secrets, Catholic school and the constant overhanging threat of being ‘sent to a nunnery.’ Role-models for how to build healthy, constructive I did not have. So, I had to figure it out on my own, making many mistakes along the way.
I have even attributed my sense of not belonging in my family to the planets: my Aquarius Sun sign and Sagittarius Rising sign. I assumed my tendency to be a bit of a star child, moving to the strange music in my own head, just needed its own space? Upon a closer look, as the years went by, my father and I had many similar traits, with some of my mother’s mixed in on the spectrum.
I was constantly searching for that next subject to study and different ways to escape through my imagination. I also closed down when people came too close and moved along as quickly as possible.
We Don’t Find Love, It Finds Us
I simply started to believe in myself a little more every day, love myself, trust my intuition, recognize my goodness and that I am enough. That is how love found me. This is how I found my life partner, friend, lover and husband.
Over the years, I have seen the same with family, friends and clients. I see how love finds them. We don’t find love, it finds us.
For me finding that special person seemed elusive and impossible for a long time. We all have our stories of failed past relationships, love wounds and broken hearts. My mother would say, “The third time is the charm.” She was the eternal optimist, I thought.
Yes, there were interested, available guys, but not one I felt I could truly be myself with. Someone who shared my interests and would accept and love me for who I was.
It wasn’t until I decided to spread my wings and start pursuing my interests and the things close to my heart, that my situation changed for the better. It introduced me to many like-minded people who were in alignment with the things I loved.
Increasingly, an event, gathering, lecture, seminar, weekend retreat, charity fundraiser or social opportunity would pop up and find me, and I would always say yes! This way I met many wonderful and diverse people who shared my values and interests.
Interestingly, the wonderful man I eventually met and fell in love was not at any of those social events. He turned out to be a colleague from my place of work. You see, I could have met him anywhere in many ways, but not until I started to love myself and worked through my own insecurities. I first had to claim my own space in life and create the lifestyle I wanted.
In the process of learning to love myself more, celebrating my uniqueness, pursuing my interests and following the intuitive breadcrumbs on my spiritual path, I was allowing the light inside of me to shine brighter in an authentic way.
A Sincere Apology Is Good For The Soul
One of the most difficult things in life is knowing when to apologize. It is obvious in some situations, but in others not so much. There are times when we need to weigh out all our options. Is the situation worth an apology, even if you are not the one who created a problem?
Knowing the right time to apologize is critical to the resolution. Was it done intentionally, or was it unintentional? Did the action cause others stress, worry, or pain?
You must also ask yourself if you can live without apologizing the rest of your life. Is it worth losing a friendship, leaving a group, resigning from a job, or not speaking to a family member ever again?
The good old Golden Rule can always come in handy in this dilemma. If you have done something that you would not want done to you, then apologize and seek atonement! Many people find it almost impossible to apologize. They struggle to acknowledge their own part in an argument or wrongdoing.
Some just do not seem to understand their actions were unacceptable, or they always feel that the world is out to get them. There is no compromise in their mind. They always try to twist every situation to make it seem like it is another person’s fault.
For some people, on the other hand, an apology seems to roll off their tongue a little too easily. When a sincere apology is made it must be followed by actions. Actions speak louder than words. By not repeating the offense, for example, it shows a true and sincere apology.
Sometimes all the other person needs to hear is a sincere, “I am sorry.” When we accept responsibility for our actions, we tell others we are sorry for hurting them. It is not always easy, but releasing guilt always is good for the soul.
Your Eternal Core Of Divine Perfection
As I was coming out of meditation today, I had a message from Spirit. I was shown the beautiful ball of infinite Light that each of us are at the core. We are eternal Love and Light.
No matter what we learn, or how much earthly information we take in, no matter how much experience we accumulate in life on any given topic – at our core, we are already perfect in spirit.
This was an interesting insight for me, as a person who’s spent most of her life chasing after more metaphysical knowledge and deeper spiritual experiences, only to find that none of the constant searching and spiritual work I had accomplished really matters when it comes down to the Light at the core of my being.
Sure, I have experienced a greater sense of expansion and mental understanding, from doing lots of spiritual work on myself, however, the innate perfection of who I am within, remains untouched and already perfect.
Some might disagree with this and say that it’s not true, but this is beyond anything we could think, say, or do, it’s our original State of Being that remains untouched by anything while we are here in human form.
I can say, however, especially as a Gemini, that when I’m called or propelled to do something different, or learn something new, it might take an army of thousands to stop me from doing it! When I feel guided to pursue something, I will move toward that and put a lot of my time and energy into it.
What is however interesting, is that the divine, eternal part of us, the higher self, the ball of Light so to speak, is totally fine whether we pursue these things or not, because who we are with or without this knowledge or accomplishment, is already whole and complete.
If so, then why bother doing anything at all in this life, if it doesn’t really matter and if we are already whole? My understanding is that we we can only follow the curiosity of the great mystery, as we make our way along our life journey.
The Tenth House Profection Year Of Elliot Page
Elliot Page, compassionate cinema sweetheart and transgender braveheart, has come out to all the world, fully embracing their non-binary status.
We don’t have an accurate birth time for Elliot, but we do know they turned 33 this year, and that means a tenth house profection year for Elliot, until their next birthday in February 2021.
Tenth house profection years are raised high up for all to see. Think of the tenth house as an elevated stage looking down on the other houses, that appear like small ants to the tenth house actor.
The tenth house is our public life; what we aspire to be. When the tenth house is activated, our voice grows louder and stronger, and we’re given the opportunity to impact others, leaving a mark that is in alignment with our soul’s higher yearning.
Elliot is a public figure, and I couldn’t think of a more perfect time for them to create a platform through which they could be heard more powerfully!
Did Elliot consult me without my knowing it, perhaps in a dream, or in an ethereal Zoom chat room? All is possible, when you consider that Elliot has a Sun sign in Pisces, making their otherworldly energy and ability to tap into psychic realms and dreams more than possible.
But it does seem more likely that Elliot utilized their own intuitive genius for sensing just the right time to connect with others in a heartfelt, and beautifully received manner.
Sun in Pisces people have magical attributes. They are shapeshifting, empathic humans who excel at weaving stories together, until they become one theme, desiring for the world’s inhabitants to love one another, and to swim together in the vast, connected ocean.
How To Be A Good Friend
I just read a blog written by a spiritual person feeling angry and lonely. She had reached out to a trusted friend, but the friend only wanted to talk about her own problems. And when she did pay some attention to her plight, the best the friend could offer was to be judgmental and unsympathetic. The author then also reached out for support on a social media group for spiritually aware people. Again, all of the members did the same thing her friend did: they judged!
The woman was having problems with her abusive neighbor and many people on the forum were giving advice for her to leave. They told her to move, find a better place to live, relocate. “Moving is 100% your choice,” one person commented. The first thing I thought was no, it isn’t. This particular woman, for example, had bought the house and had put a lot of money into renovating the house. She would need to sell, at a time when not many things are selling, and possibly suffer a significant financial loss.
Some even told her to get more exercise, so that she can relax and focus on other things. They told her she was responsible for her own choice of reactions and feelings in the situation. The only insensitive, stereotypical thing they didn’t say was to take a breath and calm down. Don’t you just hate it when someone says that? It does everything, but calm you down!
The people responding, in their judgment, needed to feel superior. It was about them, not her. Her responses were defensive, understandably. I felt by her response, they made her feel more lonely. Poor woman.
Are You Living An Unexamined Life?
According to Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This statement is very powerful, yet it has a very simple meaning. What you do not change, does not change you. When your actions remain the same, so do the results. If you cannot examine the things that are eating at you, the things that have gone wrong in your life, and even the things that have gone right, nothing changes.
We must look at our life and go behind the mask that we may be wearing, to cover up the fact that we are vulnerable inside. There are often so many aspects to our life that requires change in order to move forward to a better place.
For example, are you repeatedly settling for the same type of person as a partner and find it constantly failing? Are you going to a dead-end job day in and day out, that you hate so much that merely entering the workspace already makes you despise the day before it even starts? Do you look in the mirror and see things about yourself that makes you miserable?
Take off the mask of pretension and make an effort to change what isn’t working. Examine why you keep repeating the same patterns.
If you are ending up with the same type of person every time, ask yourself why? Are you trying to meet someone in the same way? Are you settling for someone that is not all that you would like, but feel it’s better than to have no one at all? Are you compromising on what you want? If they are not what you seek, cut them loose. They are not going to suddenly change.