self-awareness
Good Old-Fashioned Human Connection
Recently I met up with a good friend whom I had not seen in a long time. Our friendship began nine years ago when I lived in another province of Spain, adjacent to the one where I now live.
Of course, since I moved, we see less of each other. Once in a while I drive over to see her, and a round trip takes me about two and a half hours.
She is a vibrant, kind woman who, along with her extended family, helped me through a particularly difficult time a few years ago. They always made me feel very welcome when I lived there and tried very hard to persuade me not to move away!
She can be great company, but lately she has not been as present as she was when we first met. You might have guessed why. Yes, indeed, social media on her phone has become a major new focus for her. It has become a significant distraction during our visits in recent months.
Knowing how kind, generous and caring she truly is, I do not take it personally. I realize that, like many people around the world, her social media messaging and texting became an important substitute for the lack of personal interaction and social connection during the isolated, lonely times caused by the recent pandemic. For many, it has since become a habit and a new way of life, and for some, an addiction.
A few days ago, thankfully, she had an epiphany for which one can only pray. Instead of her constantly scrolling through her phone, we spent some quality time together for a change, strolling around town, eating lunch, and talking non-stop like we had not seen each other in years!
The Law Of Reverse Effect
I remember talking to a very distraught client a few years ago about a man with whom she had been having a secret affair for 24 years. It was a relationship she was very obsessed with and had stubbornly pursued for over two decades, despite many red flags and a great deal of frustration and disappointment along the way.
When this man finally got up the courage to divorce his wife, he left not only his wife, but also his mistress. Within three months, he was in a relationship with someone new and told my client that he never really felt that way about her anyway.
She wanted to know how this could be? She expected with 100% certainty that he would be with her and no one else after the divorce, but the exact opposite happened. After all, she had put a lot of time, effort, energy, love, and devotion into this secret relationship, not to mention all the stress, frustration and drama she had to endure for over two decades.
At the time, this tragic story made me think about some of the free will choices I have made in my own life. There have been times when I, too, have stubbornly expected things to turn out a certain way for me because I pursued it with vigor, only to be devastated when it did not. For example, many years ago, a guy I had a huge crush on and thought was really into me ended up hitting on my best friend while we were out on a date! I guess the moral of the story is to never pursue someone who is not really that into you.
The Universe Always Has The Better Plan
Our journey through life is constantly changing. Whatever circumstances you find yourself in today is temporary. In time it will change. It may not change overnight, or within weeks, months, or even years, but it will change eventually. For change is the only constant in our co-created existence.
Since change is inevitable, it makes sense to embrace these energies of ongoing evolution, expansion and transformation. It really makes no sense to live in constant resistance to the universal flow, for it is a tragic waste of our creative energy as co-creators and detrimental to our soul purpose and karmic growth.
Living a conscious life in harmony with the cycles of life and in sync with the creative pulse of the universe is one of the most empowering and karmically liberating things we can do for ourselves in this lifetime.
While many of us tend to think we have the best plan for our life and that we know exactly what is best for us, we often do not really understand what will best serve our highest good. But God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, always knows what is best for us, and sometimes it is not what we originally had in mind.
We have to admit to ourselves that we tend to have a biased way of wanting things to work out, and that sometimes it may not be in the best interest of all parties involved, or even ourselves, on a soul level.
Finding Your Joy In A Fast-Paced World
Finding happiness, joy and inner peace can be challenging in today’s fast-paced, ever-changing world. The constant influx of new information and misinformation, societal pressures, and the rapid evolution of technology can leave us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected.
But amidst the chaos, there is actually a proven way to cultivate a more joyful state of being that transcends these external circumstances. It is no secret that cultivating some form of spiritual practice can greatly transform your life.
One powerful way to invite more joy into your life is through a gratitude practice. Take a little time each day to reflect on the positive aspects of your life and acknowledge the many blessings you enjoy. This essential spiritual practice will shift your focus from what may be lacking in your life to the true abundance available to you, fostering a much more positive mindset and attracting more prosperity and well-being into your life.
The great country-western singer Willie Nelson once said, “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. He is not the only public figure to attribute at least part of his success and fulfillment to an attitude of gratitude. For example, Cathy Hutchison writes that many wealthy people have a gratitude practice, including Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, Cindy Crawford, and Chris Pratt.
Embrace Your Personal Power In Relationships
Our relationships have great power and influence in our lives. In particular, many of us spend countless hours pursuing love and romance. Then, once we are in a relationship, we spend even more time and energy thinking about it, confiding in friends about it…often trying to make the relationship different or better.
I deal with this almost daily as I have counseled hundreds of lovesick, frustrated, and heartbroken clients over the years.
“If only he would do what I want, things would be different,” some of my clients might say. “If only he would be more open and honest, maybe I could trust him more.” Truth be told, I have heard similar words come out of my own mouth about my own relationships more times than I care to admit!
Unfortunately, instead of successfully influencing our partner’s words or behavior, we are often left feeling disappointed, betrayed, frustrated, powerless, or out of control. It is draining, pointless, and definitely not the best use of one’s time and energy.
So how do we change it? How do we take emotional control of our life and our relationships? The answer is shockingly simple.
It is all about taking a different, broader perspective on relationships and what they are here to teach us. A quote from Unity Church’s Daily Word magazine perfectly captures this shift in perspective: “Through our relationships with one another, we express the power, presence and love of God.”
The Constant Battle Of Head Versus Heart
Have you ever second-guessed yourself, done or said something that went against your gut, only to realize in retrospect that your initial feeling or hunch was right? Had you acted differently, it could have saved you a lot of heartache and loss, emotionally, physically or financially?
If you have ever been in this position, know that you are not alone. The “head versus heart” dilemma can be very confusing and frustrating. Many of my clients struggle with it and some experience a great deal of confusion, stress and emotional discomfort as a result.
When faced with difficult decisions or challenging situations, we usually have a good sense of what the best course of action might be. But then we tend to look for concrete evidence to support our feelings and intuitive hunches, and when we cannot find any, which is often the case, our heads take precedence over our hearts. So we end up discounting our feelings and intuitions, usually to our own detriment.
The struggle between head and heart is a common theme in philosophy, literature, art, and popular culture, as we all regularly experience inner conflicts between reason and emotion, logic and intuition, responsibility and passion.
The Four Dimensions Of Holistic Self-Care
In today’s fast-paced world, we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, leaving little time for self-care. Yet, holistic self-care is essential for a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life.
There are also various myths about self-care. For example, self-care is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It is also sometimes misunderstood to simply mean ‘spa days’ or ‘bubble baths with candles.’
True self-care is multidimensional and includes various activities and practices that promote physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health and well-being. Self-care is the ultimate expression of self-love.
It is important to adopt self-care practices that work for you and that suit your lifestyle. There is no right or wrong way to practice spiritual self-care.
The most important thing is to find activities that also help you to connect with your inner being and that nourishes your spirit, because for many people today, spirituality is often the most important missing piece of their self-care puzzle.
When spirituality is incorporated into our daily self-care routine it has a profound impact on our overall health and well-being. Spiritual self-care helps us to develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world, and empowers us with the resilience to better cope with stress and adversity. In order to live a fulfilling and balanced life, it’s essential to embrace self-care in all its dimensions, including our spiritual health.