self-awareness
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Solitude
In the age of digital ‘connection,’ we are becoming more socially disconnected than ever before in human history. In fact, loneliness has become a secret epidemic profoundly affecting many people all over the world. A 2022 study of the prevalence of loneliness across 113 countries found that “problematic levels of loneliness are experienced by a substantial proportion of the population in many countries.”
There is strong evidence that loneliness or social isolation is a serious health risk that increases premature death from all causes, similar to smoking, obesity, and lack of exercise. It is also specifically linked to higher rates of heart failure, dementia, depression, anxiety, and suicide.
Loneliness must however not be confused with solitude, which is in fact a powerful aspect of spiritual practice that has been practiced since the dawn of time.
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone and isolated, regardless the amount of social contact. In other words, social isolation can cause a sense of loneliness in some of us, but we can also feel intensely lonely without being socially isolated. One can feel lonely even when there are many people present in our life.
Solitude, on the other hand, is the conscious choice to be alone, usually for the purpose of personal reflection, recharging one’s energy, spiritual contemplation, or simply enjoyment of your own company. It’s about purposely choosing to be present with yourself, rather than the lack of social connection.
The Simple Miracle Cure For Stress
While I was meditating the other day, the voice of an ancestor came to me. It was the spirit of a relative I had personally known when she was in this life. She said, “Why don’t you just rest a little bit honey? Everything is always easier and better after you take a day or two to just rest and recover.”
I cannot say I was surprised by this unusual visitation message. I had indeed been dealing with a lot of stress lately, and I tend to forget that what I really need to do sometimes is to simply stop. Just stop doing whatever it is I feel I have to do. I often do tend to take on more than I am actually required to, and then make matters worse by stressing about it. It’s a free will kind of deal.
My ancestor was right. A timeout would empower me to cope much better and see things in a different perspective. The truth is most of the recent stress in my life is caused by my thinking. It is mostly in my mind and not based in reality.
So, I decided to follow her advice and take a few days off. I turned off my negative thought process, stopped working for a few days, and found constructive ways to clear my mind and relax. I took out a library book to read for entertainment and enjoyment; played with my cats; cooked some delicious comfort food; meditated in the garden, slept late, and allowed myself to just simply enjoy some proper ‘me time.’
Well, it certainly worked like a charm! After just a few days, I felt invigorated, recharged, empowered, and in a much better state of mind. I now realize I had been depleted of energy and especially not getting enough sleep.
Striving To Embody The Higher Self
The higher self, the soul, the spirit is the spiritually supreme, eternal aspect of our conscious existence that is unencumbered by the human ego and connected to the greater cosmic universe.
When people spiritually awaken, they begin to realize that we tend to constantly operate from the ego, with only subtle, mostly subconscious bouts of guidance and inspiration from spirit. They begin to feel the difference in their personal energy vibration when they are operating more consciously from spirit, but it is a challenge to consistently remain in this powerful state of divine alignment.
One’s life however becomes noticeably different once you manage to connect to the higher self on a more constant and consistent basis. You also become more circumspect about what you spend your time and energy on. Spiritual self-care and a conscious lifestyle becomes extremely important.
In the connected, aware state of steadily embodying the higher self we no longer feel the need, for example, to accumulate as many material things and status symbols as possible, and we no longer say yes to everyone and everything for the simple fear of missing out.
We also tend to choose a new tribe and begin to increasingly spend time with people who are also in a state of higher vibration. We also progressively lose our interest in dysfunctional, lower vibrational behavior, like criticism, pettiness, perfectionism, gossip, judgment and wanting to control and manipulate others.
When we are more permanently aligned with the higher self, we become more empowered as deliberate creators and are able to manifest our desires more profoundly. We also become more grateful for the daily little miracles of life and keenly present in every moment. And we become more in tune with our soul purpose and begin to fearlessly pursue our true passions.
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
Focus On Your Own Karma
I often get questions about karma, vengeance, and divine justice from clients when I do readings. Will the haters get what’s coming to them? Will karma finally get my cheating ex? Will my abusive employer get his comeuppance someday? If so, how long will it take for them to feel the hurt and pain they inflicted on me?
When someone calls me hoping to hear that the other person will get their ‘karma,’ it usually relates to a recent incident and they feel like the rug has been pulled from under them – especially when the attack or betrayal was seemingly unfounded. They usually hope for immediate, soul-crushing retribution!
In my own life, I have not experienced such ‘instant karma.’ In fact, true karmic debt is a very slow turning wheel. Expecting immediate payback is a lost cause and a foolish pursuit. Revenge is sweet, they say, but the spiritual truth is that seeking venegeance will only add to your own karmic debt. If someone has hurt or wronged us, the pain will ease over time. Time heals all wounds, even if the scars remain.
The only meaningful ‘payback’ I have ever experienced in my own life, was the times when I received apologies from loved ones on the other side in mediumship readings. Those messages all came from the souls of family members who have completed their life review after their transition. Once we cross over into the spirit realm, we always get new clarity and an expanded understanding of our actions, or lack thereof, and how it has caused harm to others. For some souls this process takes much longer than for others.
This happened to me on several occasions over the years, with various mediums relaying spirit messages of remorse, apologies, and loved ones asking for my forgiveness. In every instance the ‘perpetrator’ had no idea of the impact they had had on me while they were in this life. Some of them also explained that their hurtful actions were due to a learned dysfunctional behaviors and trauma from their own life experiences, especially from childhood.
Waiting On The World To Change
Waiting On The World To Change is not just a great John Mayer song, it is also a devastating pattern in many people’s lives. Too often people are waiting for some outside force to come along and bring them the happiness and fulfillment they want. Living one’s life ‘on hold’ in this way can become a incapacitating habit that will only serve to make us eternally stuck and unhappy.
When we are waiting for a change from someone or something other than ourselves, we are not taking control of our own power. More importantly, we are also not taking personal responsibility for our God-given free will choices, nor are we holding ourselves accountable for our own actions (or inaction).
We all have that friend who is always saying how great her relationship would be ‘if only’ her partner would change a certain habit, or do something differently. Or that colleague who never gets the promotion, while she keeps blaming others as to why she is constantly overlooked. Or the diseased relative who ‘cannot’ improve her health and wellness, because making better lifestyle choices just doesn’t fit into her busy work schedule and social life.
The worst one for me is people waiting for that amazing soulmate relationship to finally materialize, when they are not making even the least bit of effort to put themselves out there and meet new people.
Some people spend a lot of time constantly setting new goals or intentions, making wish lists, creating vision boards, or doing visualizations or rituals, to manifest the changes they want to see in their lives. But what if the thing they need to change is actually themselves?
Have Faith In A Better Future
I received a vital message from spirit today during my daily meditation. Spirit showed me that many people have become extremely anxious and worried in recent years. Many souls are making themselves sick with stress, apprehension, and fear about the state of the world and what the future may hold.
But spirit reassured me that there is absolutely no need for us to do this. My guides also reminded me that most of the things we worry about never end up happening. We live in an abundant, benevolent universe that always returns everything to balance and harmony. The sun will always come out again tomorrow, or the day after.
So, how do we deal with our overwhelming worries and concerns? It starts with our spirituality. If we choose not to believe that the universe is a safe, generous place that rests in the palm of God, Spirit, Source, the Divine’s hand, then it is very difficult to have hope and trust in the future. And when we have no faith, hope or trust, we feel we must try to be in control of everything ourselves. This need for control leads to negative thoughts, constant worry and anxiety, and even paralyzing fear.
The answer is to let go and let God, focus only on the now, and only attempt to control those things that you can control. Trying to constantly change and control the rest of the world and ‘play god’ in our mind is pointless and energetically draining.
Instead, we should direct our focus and attention to positive, uplifting things that we can change and control. Rather than lament everything we feel may be wrong in the world, we can find ways to help make it better.
Instead of dwelling on everything that is not working for us, we can take a new perspective and start doing some things to contribute. We have the power as spiritual beings to become part of the solutions, instead of just adding to the problems.