self-importance
Be The Change You Wish To See In The World
Our co-created world has always been full of woes and challenges. To ignore these difficulties is irresponsible, but to focus obsessively on it creates more of the same. So, how can we possibly affect real, meaningful change in the world as mere individuals?
The answer is simple: we must take personal responsibility for the choices we make, and be intentional about how we are living. In other words, we must begin with ourselves, instead of trying to change everyone else and the world around us.
Our power to make change in the world comes down to taking responsibility for that which we do have control over – ourselves. Change begins in our own backyard.
Rather than pointing out how others might improve, we should focus on what is within our own power to improve. It doesn’t matter how small these changes may be. Once we make a start to improve aspects of our own life, it becomes like a domino effect.
Making improvements in your own world, whether it be cleaning up that pile of junk that’s been cluttering up your home, or dealing with internal ‘junk’ that no longer serves you, will improve your own existence and experience. In turn, simply by doing this for yourself, you may find you inspire others to do the same.
At the very least it will help to improve your own energetic flow and raise your own vibration. You can then take this positive new vibration with you everywhere you go, and it will influence and bless every interaction you have with others.
How To Deal With Toxic People
Toxic people can be incredibly difficult to deal with in both personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your personal happiness and well-being.
A toxic person is someone whose constant negativity and dysfunctional behavior causes drama in your life and drains you energy whenever they are around. Typical toxic traits include negativity, cynicism, apathy, lack of self-awareness, arrogance, entitlement, self-centeredness, domineering behavior, lack of empathy, being judgmental, dishonesty, anger outbursts, to name only a few.
The most extreme forms of toxicity includes personality disorders like antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is a rigid, deeply characteristic way of thinking, feeling and acting that severely affects the person’s mental well-being, personal relationships and social life.
Toxic people can however be tricky to identify at first, as their dysfunctional traits and behaviors can be very subtle. Some of them are also very good at ‘gaslighting,’ which makes interacting with them even more treacherous.
Gaslighting is a very toxic form of manipulation, game playing, or crazymaking in which you are constantly being misled, confused, lied to, and made to question your own truth and reality. You increasingly feel unsure about the accuracy of your own memories regarding certain events and your personal opinions and perceptions of the world. You may even begin to think that you are to blame for the toxic person’s actions, or that maybe something is very wrong with you, or worse, that you are losing your mind.
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
The Truth About Ego And Spirit
Having a strong ego may be just as important as having a strong spirit. However, it can become a problem when we are confused or conflicted between the two, and do not realize that one is tied to the other.
Ego is all about our sense of self. It is about our self-worth, self-belief and how we feel we compare to others. Having a healthy sense of self-esteem is vital for our happiness and well-being.
For example, if someone chooses to stay in a toxic relationship due to their low self or sense of self is essential for our mental and emotional well-being. We must not confuse having a healthy ego with an over-inflated one.
People who have healthy egos do not think in terms of bold versus meek, or overbearing versus subdued. It is not about dominance or submission for them. They only view themselves as being worthy and competent, and strive to improve their life and become the best possible version of themselves. Self-love is not self-righteousness. People with a strong ego can confidently navigate whatever life throws their way without losing their sense of self.
However, those with an over-inflated, toxic ego tend to be arrogant, self-important and more concerned with how others are doing instead of their own achievements. They tend to believe they are so much more worthy and successful than everyone else, and constantly judge others for their mistakes and failures. Big egos are not very ‘healthy’ at all!
Also, when we strive for bigger or better things for ourselves, it is not only a case of satisfying our ego. Spirit operates with a similar agenda. Our soul or spirit is in fact strongly connected to our sense of self. This is why we traditionally say someone is in ‘low spirits,’ meaning they are feeling sad or depressed. But when someone is in ‘good spirits,’ they may have had happy news or some good fortune.
Honor Your True Self Without The Drama
Many of people spend a good portion of their lives trying to be who they think others expect them to be. Although it is important for our own safety and peace of mind to conform and abide by society’s customs and codes of conduct, it is also imperative that we feel free to authentically express ourselves – as long as it is not detrimental to the well-being of others.
These days it can be treacherous to speak your mind or express your true feelings in just about any context, but the most troublesome of places to do this is on social media platforms, where faceless strangers often attack each other mercilessly, and at times for no apparent reason.
Instead of exposing oneself publicly to the vitriol and ill-conceived opinions of random strangers, it is best to be true to ourselves within our personal circle of influence. Being yourself and living and authentic life does not require us to announce our true thoughts and innermost feelings to the entire world.
Of course, expressing your truth to those closest to us can be equally difficult. One key to successfully communicating is to truly listen with respect and consideration to the views of others. Often, we do not really hear what is being said, because we are frantically thinking of our own response to what we assume they are saying.
Actively listening to someone explaining their position can be a real test of patience sometimes, but it usually pays off in the end by way of mutual understanding, conflict resolution, or compromise.
Disagreeing without hostility and aggression is an art in itself. The world we currently live in can be a tinder box at times, with people overreacting to even the smallest perceived slight. We cannot control the beliefs, words and actions of others, but we can certainly manage our own.
Let Us Be Kind To One Another
We live in a strange world where we place so much importance on who we know, what we own, what we be believe, who we vote for, and (as silly as it is) what we look like. Instead, we all should be placing more value and importance on how we treat one another, and not be so unkind, selfish, and judgmental. Not to mention all the distractions created by modern technology and materialistic pursuits.
It is very hard for anyone to be truly spiritually aware and live a life of higher consciousness in today’s mad world. Living in a holy way, like the Saints of the Catholic faith, is almost completely out of reach these days. The Saints got it right first time around, and they are an example of how to live in a selfless, ‘do unto others’ kind of way.
We will ultimately be held accountable for every thought, word, action and deed. I think it is very egotistic to think that all that is needed is one lifetime around and then ‘ta-da,’ you get granted entry to eternal bliss. Just for claiming your are religious, a ‘good person,’ or spiritually ‘evolved’? Never! Doesn’t work like that.
Do you consider yourself a saint? None of us are. I certainly don’t consider myself one; not by a long shot. But one does notice the self-righteous attitudes of some among us, like they are better than the rest. Spirit doesn’t condone that kind of pride one bit.
Faith and spirituality is indeed a personal choice for every person. But there are some undeniable, eternal truths and universal laws that apply to all of us, no matter what we choose to be believe or who or what we worship.
For me faith and spirituality is about believing and doing what the Bible recommends. But it is not just about attending church services on Sundays, and then going against God’s Word the other six days. It’s about being humble, being pure of heart and mind, and being kind to one another. We are all connected and until we begin treating everyone as our neighbor we shall know no lasting peace or harmony.
Enlightenment Is Not An Exclusive Privilege
One of my Yoga students once asked me if I consider myself spiritually enlightened. I told him that I struggled with that idea, because it implied someone is ‘done’ with their spiritual mission.
It would mean I had accomplished the ultimate spiritual goal and therefore would have no need to continue my spiritual growth and work. It also seems arrogant to say that somehow, some people are ‘more enlightened’ or spiritually more evolved and superior to others.
I once heard a celebrity state in an interview that she knew she was “born to greatness.” I cannot comprehend such blatant entitlement and self-importance…to imagine that anyone was born more for ‘more greatness’ than another! We are all born for greatness in our own way, and none of us are greater than any other.
Therefore, I believe we are all enlightened. Some of us just don’t know it yet.
Spiritual growth or expansion is an eternal process. It is a journey, not a destination. There is no ‘arrival’ and no end. We will always continue to grow more, love more, heal more and learn more.
With that said, I have always felt Earth is a planet for new souls. But even old souls can still learn. There is no special ‘status’ in being a new or old soul. It is simply a matter of how much one has experienced as an individual energy entity.
I have heard over the years clients and students complain they have such a hard time being around people who are “not as enlightened as they are.” I find this arrogant, not spiritual. I believe that all paths lead to God. Just because someone isn’t on the same path doesn’t mean they aren’t headed towards God. Just the thought that we believe we are more enlightened or superior or working harder, shows we have a lot more learning to do.
