acceptance
Breaking The Pattern Of Relationship Trauma
Today I did two consecutive readings for clients who are obsessed with a relationship from a long time ago. They both wondered why the relationship ended and what could have been if things had gone differently.
In retrospect, there have been many similar calls recently. I have even had clients who have had vivid dreams and nightmares about a particular ex-love, lost friend or estranged family member.
In all cases, I find that Spirit consistently offers the same guidance. These haunted thoughts and obsessions are due to a lack of closure and unresolved trauma. Spirit has also indicated that there is a growing epidemic of loneliness in the world. Because of this, more and more people are dwelling on old relationships and their regrets.
This has even happened to me recently, with people from my past that I have not thought of or seen in years coming to mind more and more. It can be surprising and disconcerting to have such random memories pop up. Spirit gave me exactly the same wake-up call. These memories are a sign that there is a need for forgiveness and healing. It is essentially a form of delayed grief, when instead we should be having happy and fond memories of the people in our past.
I find it helps to remember that they, like me, were just doing the best they could with what they knew and had at the time. When someone has shown signs of unkindness or aggression, I have also come to realize that it was the result of their own hurts, losses, or disappointments.
Our Choices Are Ours To Make
The past few years have been challenging for everyone. The pandemic, political upheaval, and economic uncertainty have affected lives all over the world.
I have personally witnessed the pain and struggles of many people close to me, as well as my clients.
I even had to take a ‘mental vacation’ at times as I began to feel disoriented and somewhat confused by the messages the angels were giving me.
I asked the why’s with no clear answers. I’ve asked the how’s without sensible explanations. As a lightworker I tend to feel compelled to fix things, to make things better.
Then one day I had a breakthrough when spirit told me clearly that it is not my job to fix everything and everyone.
Spirit has led me to understand that my job is to spread love, light and healing to the best of my ability. How people choose to think, feel and act in response to their life challenges is not for me or anyone else to try to control. Everyone’s choices are theirs to make as they see fit, and with much choice comes much responsibility.
As heartbreaking and frustrating as it may be at times, it is not my place to interfere with other people’s karmic journey and soul plan. This newfound insight was jarringly confirmed by a traumatic event just a few weeks ago.
Grandma Will Wear Her Big Girl Boots!
I recently discovered a website where you can “rent a friend”. It made me wonder, why would anyone need to rent a friend? Isn’t making friends a natural thing?
Normally, people who have something in common or enjoy each other’s company tend to gravitate toward each other. Even when attending a large social gathering, people tend to find like-minded people in the crowd to interact with. So, why in the world would anyone ever need to ‘rent’ a friend?
Well, the site had a list of occasions when one might want to purchase this type of service. Some of the things on the list included hiring a companion to be your plus one at a wedding, or to go to the theater, sightseeing, dinner, or even traveling abroad.
Essentially, the service connects people with common interests.
Then I wondered, are there really enough people who would use such a service to make it profitable? Apparently, there are and I should not have been be surprised. Our social life increasingly depends on digital technology.
Most of us are lucky if we can count on one hand the friends we can invite to join us on some of our adventures, let alone the few close friends we can count on in good times and bad. It is rare to have friends who have the time, money, or energy to do fun things with us on a regular basis.
Accepting The End Of A Relationship
Don’t resist change, even in love. It is always best to accept things when a relationship ends. Sometimes a door needs to be closed in order for another door to open down the road.
I have seen this in my own personal relationships and those of many of my clients and friends. If it’s meant to be and there is true, everlasting love between two souls, there can never be a permanent goodbye. Rest assured, if you are meant to be with your beloved, they will come back to you, or you will go back to them.
At some point we all experience the pain of saying goodbye to someone we love very much. Experiencing relationship break-up tends to turn our lives upside down. This is especially true when we have to close the door on someone we love very much when we don’t really want the relationship to end.
But if we do it in a way that leaves the door open for them to come back, then maybe we can have a new beginning later. We just have to do the very hard thing of saying goodbye and taking a step back for now. If we refuse to accept that a relationship is over, we only prolong the pain and dysfunction, and make it difficult to heal and grow from the issues that caused it to fail in the first place.
Instead, we should focus on ourselves and our own needs for a while. When we are in a relationship that is not working, it can be easy to neglect our own needs and issues. Accepting the end of a relationship allows us to focus on our own healing and well-being. No matter how hard we try to hold on, it will only make it more difficult to bring healing to the aspects of the relationship failure that need healing.
How To Be More Present In Your Life
We often hear the advice that ‘being present’ is an important spiritual practice to master on our journey through life. Being present with ourselves and in the moment. I like to think of it as being with yourself wherever you go and whatever you do. This is certainly true, but what exactly does it mean? And with all the busyness of life and keeping up with our daily responsibilities, how do you become more present in your life?
Firstly, cultivating ‘presence’ requires time management and effective planning. It is important to organise the responsibilities of our lives in a manageable way. Otherwise, we find ourselves in a constant state of worry and stress, having to manage daily demands ‘on the fly’. And this is a sure way to lose our presence.
Planning ahead may seem like the opposite of being ‘in the moment’, but it is actually essential. When we are busy making plans for the coming week, thinking about what we need to prepare for and making decisions about how to organise our time and spend our energy, we don’t think much about the ‘present moment.’ But this is something we need to do in order to then be more present in our daily lives. It is key to cultivating presence.
The Spiritual Virtue Of Patience
Patience is considered an essential virtue in most spiritual and religious traditions for several reasons. It is consistent with the core values and teachings of various spiritual paths and belief systems.
Many spiritual practices emphasize the importance of maintaining a state of inner calm in the midst of life’s challenges. Patience is fundamental to achieving inner peace and serenity. Patience helps us maintain a sense of serenity even in the face of extreme adversity.
Patience also enables us to surrender to the universal flow and accept the divine timing of outcomes for our highest good. We are better equipped to accept the divine plan and trust in the unfolding of events and circumstances as they are meant to be. Patience signifies our belief in a higher power and the universal order of all things.
Through patient introspection and self-reflection, we learn to understand our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, which leads to spiritual growth and self-improvement.
Impatience leads to negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and resentment. By practicing patience, we can better control and manage these emotions, which promotes emotional well-being and spiritual harmony.
Without patience, it is also difficult to develop understanding and empathy for others. Being patient with our own flaws and imperfections, as well as those of others, promotes the spiritual qualities of empathy and kindness.
Don’t Let Your Ex Jinx Your Love Life!
I just did a phone reading for a Psychic Access client whose first words were, “Do you think my ex put a curse on me to jinx my love life?”
As always, I turned to the spirit realm for guidance. A very close friend of the client, who had crossed over just a few months ago, then came forward with the answers.
“A recently deceased friend of yours says you are jinxing yourself,” I replied. “He says you cannot expect things to change for the better if you keep repeating the same old patterns, looking for love in all the wrong places, with all the wrong people, for all the wrong reasons.
“Um, I don’t see how I’m the cause of the problem here,” my client countered. “I’ve met many women since my last relationship, and all of they seem to want from me is financial support, or to fix their house, or to solve their legal problems, or to somehow take care of all their problems.”
“Well, what do you expect?” replied his friend from the spirit realm. “The first thing you always tell women is how much money you make because you feel the need to compensate for your lack of self-worth. Your ex made you feel you were worthless without all the money you spent on her all the time. But you have so much more to offer than your financial success. You are a good man with a good heart. You don’t have to lead with money all the time,” his friend said.