You’ve probably heard the phrase “what they don’t know can’t hurt them.” Sometimes this is true, but there are also times when what people choose to ignore or disregard can cause real harm – not only to themselves, but also to those around them.

For those of us with psychic or spiritual gifts, there’s an added complexity: the ability to sense the struggles of others, which leads to the question of when and how to help.

Intuitives, channelers and healers are very aware of the energy of others, even when we’re just going about our daily routines. Whether it’s a stranger in the grocery store or a friend across the room, we tend to sense when someone is struggling with grief, trauma or stress.

We may choose to quietly send them comforting or healing energy, hoping it will ease their pain, even if only for a moment, yet the urge to help can be very strong in these situations. And while reaching out and offering help can be very uplifting or rewarding for everyone involved, there are times when our attempts to help are met with resistance, or worse, denial.

It’s especially challenging to see someone we care about turn a blind eye to their own needs or pain, and even more so when our support is disregarded or unappreciated.

One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in both my personal and professional life is that I can only help those who are willing to help themselves. The sad truth is that sometimes people choose not to act on information that could improve their lives or change their destiny. Instead, their negativity, anger, or fear allows the problem to fester or the behavior to grow, affecting not only themselves but also their loved ones. Over time, this denial creates a cycle of suffering that affects physical, mental and karmic health and well-being, sometimes for generations.

Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself ~ Deborah Reber

I once confided in a friend my psychic insights regarding a family member of hers who was struggling with behavior that was detrimental to her health and the well-being of the family. I hoped that sharing my concern would encourage her to intervene, but she chose to direct. A year later, her relative’s health deteriorated significantly, an outcome I sensed would happen if left unaddressed.

In such situations, I believe that major setbacks such as illness often act as a wake-up call from the divine – a siren to awaken us from our denial so that we can face our truth, change our ways, or find healing.

Allowing Others To Walk Their Path

Over the years, I’ve had many experiences where I’ve witnessed the effects of people’s resistance to change. For example, just this morning I noticed a man in the grocery store with an aura so weak it seemed as if his last life energy was ebbing away. As I tuned in, I sensed that he had struggled with alcohol and nicotine addiction for decades and that many loved ones had tried to help him quit. I quietly sent him healing energy and whispered a prayer on his behalf and moved on, only to see him later in the parking lot smoking another cigarette.

Moments like these are important reminders that people must want to help themselves for true change or healing to occur. We can read for them, pray for them, offer guidance and support, but if they’re not ready to let go of their suffering, it’s important to respect their journey of free will. This can be especially challenging with family and friends, as it’s hard to witness their pain without wanting to intervene.

Ultimately, we cannot force someone to choose healing, no matter how much we want to help. If someone you love is caught in a cycle of denial or self-destruction, we can turn the situation over to God or the universe. We can pray for their peace and well-being, but ultimately they must go their own way.

This can be a painful realization for healers, empaths and parents. But as we learn to let go, we open ourselves to a healthier way of supporting others – one that respects their choices and sustains our own energy. And as we let go, we create space for people who are truly ready to embrace change and growth.

The Karma Of Denial In Families

Every holiday season I used to gather with a group of people whose lives seemed to be filled with tension and unhealed wounds. It’s painful to see how resentment, unresolved conflict and toxicity prevent them from embracing the joys of life and their many daily blessings.

One family member, now deceased, couldn’t even travel with her family in peace. Their holidays were always filled with frustration, impatience and drama, while negativity suffocated the atmosphere. Her choices created a painful void that no one could fill, no matter how much anyone wished for her healing, including me.

In such cases, I believe that denial can lead to physical illness and mental dysfunction. Anger, fear and bitterness take a toll on the body over time and slowly manifest as dysfunction and disease. When this energy permeates a family, it’s as if an invisible web of negativity surrounds each member, affecting their mental and physical health. As much as I wanted to help them find peace, I ultimately had to accept their resistance and let go.

Parents have a particularly profound influence on the emotional and spiritual well-being of their children. When children grow up in an environment of anger, impatience, or resentment, they often carry these energies forward, creating karmic patterns that affect not only their adult lives and their own families, but also many future generations. By choosing kindness, compassion, tolerance, patience, and positivity, parents can instead give their children the gift of a karmic legacy of resilience, well-being, fulfillment, and joy.

Remember, children’s inner dialogue is shaped by what their parents do, not what they say. Positive reinforcement, love, and patience teach them to value themselves, which protects them from the cycle of negativity that many families unwittingly perpetuate. Think before you speak or act in anger; each word and action leaves a mark that can either uplift or burden them for life.

But until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise” ~ Stephen R. Covey

How To Protect Your Own Energy

For psychics, healers and empaths, the desire to help can feel almost automatic, but we must remember that not everyone is ready to receive healing. Here are some strategies for protecting your own energy and well-being when dealing with those who aren’t open to receiving help or who are trying to take advantage of your energy:

Set clear boundaries: Determine when and how to engage with people who drain your energy. Limit the amount of time you spend with them and, when necessary, communicate your boundaries kindly but firmly. Being around people who radiate anger or despair for long periods of time can be draining. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care; it’s a way to maintain your own well-being.

Use affirmations: Reinforce your boundaries and protect your energy with affirmations such as “I am protected and grounded” or “I allow only loving, healing energy to enter my space.

Limit emotional investment: Remind yourself that it’s okay to care without absorbing the struggles of others. Disconnect from their outcomes by focusing on what you can realistically offer and letting go of what you cannot control.

Let go with love: Recognize that everyone is on their own journey. If someone resists or refuses your help, release with compassion, recognizing that sometimes the most healing act is to let them learn in their own time and way.

Stop offering help uninvited: It’s natural to want to step in and help or send healing to someone in pain, but if the person hasn’t asked for it and isn’t seeking change, sending energy can be counterproductive. Recognize that some people have chosen their path and trying to intervene can drain your own resources. Let Spirit guide you in this process and trust your intuition. Just as our ancestors, spirit guides and angels will not interfere with our free will unless we ask for their help, we must accept and respect the free will of others.

Ask for divine intervention: Sometimes the best and only way to help is through prayer, turning the situation over to a higher power and the universe. We can’t heal, save, or help everyone, especially those who are not ready or willing. Through prayer, we can place our intentions positively into the capable hands of God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, while accepting the limits of our own influence and abilities.

Ground yourself daily: Use grounding techniques such as visualization or meditation to connect with the earth’s energy. Imagine roots extending from your feet deep into the earth, releasing any negativity and drawing in stabilizing energy.

Engage in energy clearing: Regularly clear your energy field with sage, palo santo, or other tools, especially after interactions with draining people.

Practice shielding: Visualize an energetic barrier around you-like a protective bubble or cloak-that filters out negativity and prevents unwanted energies from attaching to you.

Use protective crystals: Wear crystals such as black tourmaline, smoky quartz, or amethyst, which are known to absorb and transmute negative energy, especially during interactions that may be challenging.

Limit your exposure to negativity: Avoid people, places, situations, or activities that are overly negative, toxic, or draining. Be selective about how and where you spend your time, and disengage when situations become too intense. Social media exposure can also be a significant source of negativity and emotional triggers. Limit your time scrolling, especially on days when you are feeling vulnerable, and follow accounts that inspire and uplift you rather than those that add to your stress.

Replenish through self-care: Engage in activities and spiritual practices that recharge you, such as spending time in nature, practicing yoga, praying, or meditating. Maintaining a strong sense of self helps to buffer against energetic depletion.

Prioritize your inner circle: Invest your energy in relationships that uplift and support you. Surrounding yourself with like-minded, positive people helps sustain your energy and builds resilience.