denial
Are You Married To A Cheater?
Are you married to a man who you think might be a cheater? It is more common than one might think. The bulk of my calls are about just this question: is he cheating?
Usually, if a client is asking this question, they already know the answer. They simply need either confirmation, or clarification. Their intuition is telling them something is going on. Often there are also many clues.
However, many callers still do not want to believe it is true, when I see that their partner is indeed being unfaithful to them. Some continue to ignore the signs and live in denial it until everything eventually comes to a head and they finally have to face it.
What to do if you think your husband is cheating? Question him by being open, direct and honest. Get the answers you need.tru
If he is not forthcoming, find other ways to uncover the truth and piece things together. Get a psychic reading. Hire a private detective. Check his credit card statements and chat messages. You have a right to know the truth
If you find out that he has been cheating, then seek counselling first, before making any major decisions or drastic changes. First find out exactly what kind of situation you are in and if and how it can be fixed, or not.
Getting to the core and extent of the problem in a sensible, calm manner is usually the best first step. Don’t allow his bad choices to turn your entire life upside down.
I remember a client who gave everything to her marriage, while her husband was cheating. She was suspicious, but never followed her gut. It all came crashing down when he arrived home one day and dropped the bomb that the other woman he was having an affair with was now pregnant with his child. This was an unbearable shock, as my client was unable to have children.
Only You Can Change Your Life
Why does it always happen to me? This is a common question I have heard many times over the past 40 years working as a psychic reader and spiritual advisor. In my experience, the real question is not ‘why’ something happens to a person. Instead, the question is, what does the person expect?
I find most people are perfectly capable of being very understanding, tolerant and patient, but there are times when all these values and best intentions instantly disappear because we demand and resist. The pain of being hurt or disappointed can sometimes turn people into a mere shadow of themselves – and this is usually the time when the ‘why me’ question comes up.
The spiritual truth is that life is hollow without constant growth and change, but things do not always go our way, because spirit sometimes has something better planned for us. Divine timing and divine intervention always aim to serve our highest good, but we too often refuse to accept these blessings in disguise.
As spiritual beings in human form we want to change things to make our lives better: jobs, trades, businesses, hobbies, lifestyles, partners, homes, locations, even countries. But we tend to be fearful of the unknown and the uncertain. So, our ego begins to interfere and we try to control everything and everyone to get what we think we want and need.
To make the most of the energies of spiritual and personal growth, expansion, and transformation, we must overcome this fear of the unknown and accept life changes, challenges, and transitions as they come. Resisting the divine intervention of what is meant to be only serves to block or derail our progress. We must get out of our own way.
I regularly experience this desperation with some of my clients, for example, when they are trying to change their partner’s wicked ways or annoying habits. They refuse to accept the truth about the other person’s behavior or personality, and then they are devastated when the relationship outcome is not what they expected.
Uproot Limiting Beliefs With Denial And Affirmation
Denials and affirmations are two methods of prayer or meditation that can be used to shift our experience of life. They are simplistic statements of truth that enable us to reprogram our subconscious mind and consciously create at a higher level.
These spiritual techniques are used by many in the New Thought and New Age spiritual movements and are amazingly effective for breaking old habits and thought patterns.
These two spiritual practices stem from the understanding that there is one Infinite Consciousness that is by its very nature benevolent and good. Many names have been given to this Infinite Consciousness or Infinite Mind, such as God, Source, the Universe, Higher Self, Spirit, the Divine, and so on.
The premise of denials and affirmations is that our individual mind is connected to the Divine Mind, and also that our mind is creative in the same way as the Divine Mind. This concept is found in varying forms in various religious and spiritual traditions.
Hindu philosophy, for example, is based on the belief that Brahman is the supreme universal force and ultimate reality to which each soul or athma is connected. The Buddha teaches, “Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves.”
In the Christian tradition, Jesus says in Matthew 17:20, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
When I was going through a difficult time in my life, Jesus jokingly came to me with these words. He has been one of my spirit guides for many years, but on this occasion, I didn’t find the ‘mustard seed’ metaphor very amusing.
Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’
What a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.
Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”
I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.
In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.
Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.